View Full Version : what to do??

Harry & Heidi's mom
11th June 2006, 10:05 PM
i need advice....

as you all know we homed ebony 2 months ago.
well, i have to decide what to do....

Ebony is terrified of Harry, and spends all her time hiding under the dining room table, which is horrible to see.
my neighbour has offered to keep ebony as she's much happier there, and has the company of other bitches (we think shes affraid of all male dogs as she was used for breeding)

now i can't decide what to do..... my heart says keep her even though shes not happy,,,,, my head says let her say with my neighbours where she's happy?

what would you do in this situation???

11th June 2006, 10:17 PM
That's a really tough one.

I know it will break your heart but personally I feel you have to do what's best for the dog.

If Ebony really is that unhappy at your house, then that is causing her stress and may eventually cause illness.

I know it usually takes up to 6 months for a dog to settle, but I would have expected some progress after two months.

Could she perhaps go to your neighbour for a trial period to see if she settles there?

I don't think Ebony actually came from a rescue, it was a private arrangement? Otherwise if through rescue you may have signed an agreement with them to return her if it didn't work out.

So very sorry - big ((((hugs))))

Harry & Heidi's mom
11th June 2006, 10:22 PM
Hi Nikki,

Ebony is with my neighbour at the moment as she's been in heat and loves it in her house,
when i'm talking to my neighbour at the back door (our doors face each other) i can see ebony playing happily but when she's here she under the table the whole time!

12th June 2006, 03:16 AM
I have to agree with Nicki, I would let her go.
It's not like you will never see her, she is right next door.
This also causes stress not only for her but for yourself and your son.
As difficult as it may be with her being at your neighbors already due
to being in heat and you being able to see the other side of her personality I would have to say let her go.

:( :( :(

12th June 2006, 07:52 AM
Such a sad predicament to be in Harrys Mum. But again i have to agree with letting her go. Dont feel you have let her down. You have done everything for that wee girl. You saved her and even if you dont keep her you have still given her a lovely home with your neighbour. Like Linda said you will still be able to see her all the time. I think for everyones sake letting her go is the best thing to do as painful as it may be. I hope everything works out well for you and i will be thinking of you.

12th June 2006, 09:03 AM
If it was my little dog and she wasn't happy with me and a kind neighbour had offered to give her a lovely home then I would think hard about what was best for her.


When did the fear begin? is it something that has gradually increased? was there an episode of rough play or a noise which has scared her sending her under the table? is it possible to give her a little more time with Harry possibly gently restricted away from her so that she could gain her confidence away from under the table?
The problem may possibly be with Harry not Ebony, so it might be well worth getting professional advice before you do anything. Get the whole situation checked out.

What is Harry like with visiting dogs into your home? have you had other dogs stay overnight to see what he is like before taking another dog? a visiting dog is a lot different to one that ends up staying!
This is something we often do in the dog club, borrow a dog!, as some dogs love the company of others but then some are just happy on their own, a few days with another dog in the house sharing toys and beds etc often shows if they are sociable to that extent.
Perhaps join a club yourself and take them both, it will give Ebony her confidence and the other owners will offer good advice and be more than happy to help you.

Perhaps also the timing of the introduction wasn't quite right as you say she has come into season, is Harry a whole dog? even if he isn't there will be some interest shown, and under the table is a good place to hide.

If in your heart you feel that she will do better with your neighbour then let her have her home there. Perhaps you could have her back some days when her season is finished and see how things go then, you are very lucky that she is only going next door as you will always be able to see her.

Hope some of the above helps, it is a very difficult one but think back when the upset started, trace the steps or seek help if you really, really want to keep her.

I know with Honey my puppy farm rescue that was used for breeding, she is NOT happy at all with a dog sniffing her bottom area, she sits and cannot move through fear, it must bring back all her worries and memories of the brutal rape in which these dogs are mated, perhaps this is the problem in itself, if she is indeed a rescue from that enviroment.

Alison, wilts, U.K.

12th June 2006, 10:29 AM
My inclination would be to say that if, there's not an agreement with a rescue regarding rehoming -- for example, I would require my own rescue dogs to come back to me, not be rehomed again, if for any reason the homing situation doesn;t work out -- to home her to your neighbour where you can enjoy her and see her regularly.

Also I'd be considering the whole situation for her right now. I'd be thinking along the lines of what Alison is saying but in a slightly different direction -- she may as many rescue dogs do, find the children worrying, or noise levels -- all things that are very normal in a family home with kids but that can be very stressful for some dogs especially when they haven't been well socialised. If after two months she is still quite nervous I'd feel she needs a different setting. It isn;t that you might not be able to work with her -- because you very likely could -- but the bigger question is, is this what you feel able to do at this time, and is it asking too much for the family to try to all rearrange what they do and how they do it to help this dog? It is a big effiort and would have to be a family effort and also require close control of Harry.

I'd think it would be better for all to allow her a home that seems to suit her better, and look for just the right companion for Harry -- one that he will enjoy, too. There's much you can be proud of for taking Ebony in and giving her such care so nothing has been done 'wrong', and you've done good rescue work. But the biggest issue for any one rescuing a dog is -- what is best for this dog. I think you have a gut feeling that right now, this isn't the best match for Ebony, Harry or your family at this time. And you already know a match that seems to work well. I'd go with that and know you have a better idea of the kind of cavalier personality which would work well with Harry and your family, too.

12th June 2006, 12:30 PM
What a hard decision, but if you can pop over and see her I think that is great.... she may be able to see Harry as a friend soon...
Best of luck.

12th June 2006, 12:50 PM
I feel for you as I know it is very difficult but sometimes you need to do what is right for the pup. Another dog that is more suited to your needs will arrive one day. When I moved across country a couple years ago I knew it would be difficult to transport all the dogs I had. I looked seriously at each pup and was my environment the best for them. I had two that more needy and knew in my heart even before I moved that being in a home with fewer other contenders for attention would be better for them. I rehomed those two with people I know. It was the best thing in the world for them. I since have moved back to the same area and am able to visit these two pups as much as I wish. They just shine with all the attention they get. One has a bassett hound brother and the other little girl has two cavalier sisters now. They are so very happy. Do I miss them...of course but I do not in any way regret giving them what was best for them.

Harry & Heidi's mom
12th June 2006, 07:57 PM

Harry is good with other dogs, both male and female.

Ebony is scared of male dogs, we noticed this when out on walks, shes happy with girls but screams if a boys so much as looks at her.

My neighbour will give her a good home, along with her 2 bitches, tess who is 21!! and penny who is 3.

it will be sad to see her go but shes only next door and we will still go for walks twice a day together.

12th June 2006, 09:36 PM
I think no matter how hard it will be you should let her go live with your neighbour . And i think its great that you are thinking of her welfare instead of yourself so good on you. And you will be able to see her when ever you want i think its a great idea for you both . So good luck no matter what you decide i am sure all will work out for the best.

13th June 2006, 02:46 AM
I'd say let her live wit ur neighbor...if she's happy there u really need to wat's best 4 the dog not wat u want....many ppl keep dogs even though their not happy living in the home, the dogs stress which makes it worse....and there's nuttin worse then a stressed dog...so let her go

Harry & Heidi's mom
2nd July 2006, 10:02 PM
Just thought i'd update this thread,

Ebony is now officially living with my neighbour, and the vet has said she has lost enought weight to enable her to be spayed!!!
Her breeding days will officially be over TOMORROW!!!
i just hope she continues to be healthy (6 years old and no murmur at all!) and enjoys her baby free future :flwr: :D

2nd July 2006, 10:15 PM
Thanks for letting us know - pleased that Ebony is settled with your neighbour, at least you can still see her.

Wishing her well for her op tomorrow, and well done to you both on her wieght loss.

I hope that you will find a companion for Harry...the right dog will be out there.

3rd July 2006, 12:16 PM
{{{{{{{{Heather}}}}}}}} I'm so glad that both Harry and Ebony are happy now. Nicki is right, the right doggy friend for Harry is out there somewhere :D

Hope Ebs is OK after her spaying and I know she'll enjoy her baby free life from now on :flwr:

3rd July 2006, 01:29 PM
I know it was difficult to let go of Ebony but sounds like things worked out well. Hope a new pup that fits into your home arrives soon.