PDA

View Full Version : Lost my sweet Heaven. Your support has been so helpful...



lleonhardt
17th October 2006, 10:44 PM
:(
http://i114.photobucket.com/albums/n260/lleonhardt/Lisa_05-Oct-2006_063-small-1.jpg
I have added more pictures of Heaven on the second page of this forum.

My sweet kitty Heaven passed suddenly yesterday. She was only 5 and was just coming to love our new puppy, Willow. I had an incredible bond with that cat. The moment i picked her out of the pile of kittens and held her, I thought I was chosing her. I loved her instantly. Turns out, she chose me. SHe put her tiny paw on my face and stared at me. Since then, she has always touched my face when we cuddle. We do not know what happened to our precious girl, but it's agony without her. Willow was walking around the house with her collar in her mouth, she was searching for her. It is a very very sad day for us. I hope she didn't suffer. I hope she knew how much i loved her. I know she was happy though, right up till the day she passed. She loved everyone! She was known for how uniquely affectionate she was. Head butts and purrs for everyone! I miss her so much, it hurts. I never knew losing a pet could be this hard.
Heaven Leonhardt July 7 2001-October 16, 2006

lorin
17th October 2006, 10:58 PM
Be at peace friend....

pippa
17th October 2006, 11:01 PM
So sorry for your loss of your sweet kitty :flwr:

brid kenny
17th October 2006, 11:04 PM
So sorry.

cecily
17th October 2006, 11:13 PM
That's a really touching story about Heaven and a very beautiful photo you have. I'm sure she's happy wherever she might be. It's harder for the ones left behind, but will get better :flwr:

RileysMom
18th October 2006, 01:38 AM
Oh, I'm just so sorry for your loss. I know how hard it is to lose a pet and I hate you are going through such a hard time. It sounds like you gave your sweet kitty shuch a wonderful life. Hang in there sweetie, it does get better! You are in our thoughts!

What a beautiful picture! Thank you for sharing! *ng*l

lleonhardt
18th October 2006, 01:43 AM
http://i114.photobucket.com/albums/n260/lleonhardt/heaven-small.jpg
Thank you all so much for your thoughts. It has been a hard day but it has really helped to come back here and read. Shaun is out of town now for a week. :( With Heaven gone and Willow not yet house broken, I have no one to cuddle with. I think I will go and spend the night at my moms. I half expect heaven to greet me at the door when I get home... it's so surreal right now.


Oh, I'm just so sorry for your loss. I know how hard it is to lose a pet and I hate you are going through such a hard time. It sounds like you gave your sweet kitty shuch a wonderful life. Hang in there sweetie, it does get better! You are in our thoughts!

What a beautiful picture! Thank you for sharing! *ng*l

Cupcake Love
18th October 2006, 04:11 AM
I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. :( People are always amazed when I tell them that cats can be just as loving as dogs, but in a more subtle way. There is nothing like the bond between a human and a cat; especially when the cat has chosen you as its owner (my husband and I were chosen by our two kitties so I know exactly what you're talking about).

My thoughts will be with you during this difficult time. :(

:flwr:

Sally
18th October 2006, 04:13 AM
I'm so sorry for your loss. Heaven was a gorgeous kitty, and the pictures you shared are just beautiful and full of love. Give yourself time to grieve and know that you're in our thoughts. :hug:

rory
18th October 2006, 04:36 AM
I'm so sorry for your loss... At such a young age, too! She is a GORGEOUS cat and sounds like she was a wonderful companion. That first photo is so sweet.
Sending warm thoughts your way...

Jay
18th October 2006, 06:33 AM
So sorry to hear about the loss of Heaven. It is very hard to lose a beloved pet but when it is unexpected and she was so young, it's doubly as hard. She was absolutely lovely. The photo is beautiful.
J.

judy
18th October 2006, 08:01 AM
i'm so sad to hear about heaven leonhardt. what a loss. i enjoyed seeing her pictures and was able to sense her lovely spirit from her image and your words. I'm so sorry she had to go, and in such a shocking way, much too soon. may you find comfort and peace in time.
judy

lleonhardt
18th October 2006, 08:08 AM
I had to come and check before bed, you have all been so helpful to me today. I can't even tell you how much it means to me to have caring and empathetic friends to my loss and sadness. I know she is probably very happy where she is now. It certainly is tough for those left behind. It was a very trying day and I imagine I will have a few more of these. Everything seems to remind me of her. I know I shouldn't blame myself, but I keep asking the question "Could her death have been prevented, was I careless and oblivious to an obvious danger?" I don't know. I think I would rather believe she died suddenly and without pain of natural causes. There did not appear to have been any suffering. I can only pray. Thank you again for all your support, it's been incredibly helpful. God Bless.

i'm so sad to hear about heaven leonhardt. what a loss. i enjoyed seeing her pictures and was able to sense her lovely spirit from her image and your words. I'm so sorry she had to go, and in such a shocking way, much too soon. may you find comfort and peace in time.
judy

Nicki
18th October 2006, 11:33 AM
Oh that is just a wonderful photo, a treasured memory for you.

I'm so very sorry for the sudden loss of your beloved Kitty - she was obviously very special and it's a dreadful shock to cope with a sudden loss like this {we lost one of our Cavaliers at the same age who hadn't been ill, so I do understand...don't worry, it's extremely rare to lose a Cavalier like that}

It's even harder for you with Shaun away, it might be a good idea to spend some time with family, if they understand, as they will support you.

Sending comforting thougths, we believe that our companions wait for us at the Rainbow Bridge and one day we will all be reunited. There they are free of pain and play happily together.

i hope that your beautiful Willow will help to ease the pain you are feeling.

Baileyboy
18th October 2006, 03:49 PM
Sorry for you loss x

Cathy T
18th October 2006, 05:01 PM
So sorry for your loss. I've lost two kitties a couple of years apart each at the age of 13. Absolutely broke my heart. Heaven was a beautiful beautiful girl. Remember her with good thoughts.

lleonhardt
18th October 2006, 07:57 PM
I did stay with my mom last night. I went home and packed a bag and the obvious void in our home Heaven has left was unbearable, I cried and left. On the way over to mom's I saw a white kitty so I pulled over and watched it and I cried. I just miss her so much. I have found myself looking at the SPCA website already in hopes of finding a little white female... I am sure that is not healthy though right now. Need to grieve and when the pain subsides then maybe get another kitty. I will try and focus on giving Willow the love and attention she needs right now too as I know she misses Heaven too. I did not know about the Rainbow Bridge. It is comforting to know that she will be waiting there to greet my one day.
Oh that is just a wonderful photo, a treasured memory for you.

I'm so very sorry for the sudden loss of your beloved Kitty - she was obviously very special and it's a dreadful shock to cope with a sudden loss like this {we lost one of our Cavaliers at the same age who hadn't been ill, so I do understand...don't worry, it's extremely rare to lose a Cavalier like that}

It's even harder for you with Shaun away, it might be a good idea to spend some time with family, if they understand, as they will support you.

Sending comforting thougths, we believe that our companions wait for us at the Rainbow Bridge and one day we will all be reunited. There they are free of pain and play happily together.

i hope that your beautiful Willow will help to ease the pain you are feeling.

Maxxs_Mummy
19th October 2006, 12:54 PM
I'm so sorry about little Heaven. Hope she's with her friends at the Bridge chasing the bunnies & having a great time :flwr:

I lost two puddies a few years ago, one aged 18mths and one aged 2 yrs - brothers as well. I know how horrid it feels when they don't come home :(

Go cuddle Willow tight and take comfort from her, I'll bet she's missing Heaven too :(

Thinking of you :flwr: xxx :flwr:

lleonhardt
19th October 2006, 05:26 PM
I had a scare yesterday. I came home at lunch to check on Willow and she had been sick in her kennel, diarrhea and vomiting. After just losing Heaven I couldn't bear the thought of her being sick. I had a little meltdown as I bathed her, I sobbed for her to not be ill and cried for Heaven again as well. When she was all clean and on my lap, she kissed me and snuggled close to my face while I cried. I brought her to work with me and watched her and she is ok. Being at my moms has taken her toll on her, she had eaten some of my moms pups food and isn't used to it. We had taken it away from her now. I have a new found comfort in Willow now, we bonded yesterday I think for the first time since I brought her home. After Heaven died, Willow was of no comfort to me the first 2 days... my grief was too much. But I think what happened yesterday scared me and made me realize that I need to cherish the one I have left. So I brought her to sleep with me last night for the first time (that was always Heaven's place) and we snuggled till I realized Willow was going to squirm too much for me to get a good sleep! ha ha (I was on my mom's couch so not much room as it was).

Thank you all for your kind words. I am feeling better today, but the tears are still there when I see her pictures and remember the feel of her fur, the little noises she would make when we snuggled, the purring that would put me to sleep.... dammit, tissue... I am off to work for the day. Take care all.

I'm so sorry about little Heaven. Hope she's with her friends at the Bridge chasing the bunnies & having a great time :flwr:

I lost two puddies a few years ago, one aged 18mths and one aged 2 yrs - brothers as well. I know how horrid it feels when they don't come home :(

Go cuddle Willow tight and take comfort from her, I'll bet she's missing Heaven too :(

Thinking of you :flwr: xxx :flwr:

Nicki
19th October 2006, 05:34 PM
It's good that you are bonding more with Willow, she really will help you at this time, Cavaliers are very understanding.

Sorry about the tummy upset, it prob was the different food, she may also be upset by the change in scenery and because you are upset.

This website may help you

http://www.petloss.com/

They do a wonderful candle ceremony on a Monday evening...it really helped me.

This is the Rainbow Bridge story

http://www.petloss.com/poems/maingrp/rainbowb.htm

and this is a wonderful animated version, definitely need the tissues for this one though

http://www.indigo.org/rainbowbridge_ver2.html


Thinking of you - I understand about the looking for another Kitty, but perhaps try to wait a little...when the time is right another one will come into your life.

lleonhardt
19th October 2006, 07:05 PM
Thank you so much for referring me to that wonderful site dedicated to the loss of our furry friends. I have already made a new friend who just lost her kitty the other day too. I posted a tribute to Heaven there for Monday night. I shared my story as well. And you are right, the animated bridge poem brought me to tears as I remebered my sweet Heaven. Thank you so much.

Willow is much better today and I love her that much more. She will help me through this. You all have helped me so much already. Thank you.

It's good that you are bonding more with Willow, she really will help you at this time, Cavaliers are very understanding.

Sorry about the tummy upset, it prob was the different food, she may also be upset by the change in scenery and because you are upset.

This website may help you

http://www.petloss.com/

They do a wonderful candle ceremony on a Monday evening...it really helped me.

This is the Rainbow Bridge story

http://www.petloss.com/poems/maingrp/rainbowb.htm

and this is a wonderful animated version, definitely need the tissues for this one though

http://www.indigo.org/rainbowbridge_ver2.html


Thinking of you - I understand about the looking for another Kitty, but perhaps try to wait a little...when the time is right another one will come into your life.

lleonhardt
20th October 2006, 07:41 PM
http://i114.photobucket.com/albums/n260/lleonhardt/heaven-drying-off.jpg This is Heaven after getting a bath.
http://i114.photobucket.com/albums/n260/lleonhardt/heavenandmichelle100dpi.jpg Heaven giving head butts to my friend Michelle.
http://i114.photobucket.com/albums/n260/lleonhardt/heavenandmichelle2100dpi.jpg Heaven getting attention from my guests, as usual.

Thank you all for your kindness. It's so hard. I feel like I am ok, then I see her sweet little face in my mind and remember that she will not be home when I get there, I tear up and feel the pain. I forget that I should be happy for her that she is not in pain and is happy where she is. For her it's only a matter of moments before I rejoin her. I need to let her go so her soul can journey home. I don't want to be selfish and prevent her from getting there... but I haven't brought myself to go home yet and talk to her again. I tried again last night to sleep with my other fubaby, Willow. She's a squirmy little pup and snuggled in close but did not let me sleep. I haven't had a good night's sleep since the night Heaven passed. I wonder if I need to just go home, be alone in the house and feel her spirit. Aknowledge her presence, say what I need to say, look at her pictures, have a visit, the let her go. I haven't been home because for now I feel it easier to cope keeping myself busy and staying away from the reality that she's not there anymore. On a good day I don't cope well with silence, so this makes it harder to be there with Shaun away. I shall try once more to sleep with Willow tonight and get her used to the idea. It was comforting to have her snuggled up close, to feel needed, loved. She's a good girl, and I am so thankful I have her.

Nicki
22nd October 2006, 04:28 PM
Hi Lisa

Have been thinking about you. When is Shaun home?

It does sound like you know what is needed and would be best for you, but it's hard to take that step alone.

If Shaun isn't due back for a while, would your Mom come with you and maybe stop over for the night?

Willow is still very little to have on the bed...I always worry how easily they can fall off at that age. If she's used to a small crate or cage, maybe you could put her in that next to the bed, so she's with you but safe?

You might also be more relaxed then and could maybe get some sleep, you need to look after yourself.

Do you still have Heaven's blanket? Maybe put that on the bed with you?

We're all here for you, VB ((((Hugs))))

lleonhardt
22nd October 2006, 05:01 PM
Hello everyone. Nicki thank you for asking about Shaun. He returns in 2 days. Tomorrow marks the one week that Heaven left. I would not have been able to cope as well as I did without you guys, and without the other wonderful pet lovers at petloss.com. Here is the link to the support forum I have also been a part of. http://www.websitetoolbox.com/tool/post/edw/vpost?id=1457559 I have been told several times it is not my fault she died. That from the sounds of it she died of a blood clot which is common among cats, I didn't know that. I am still staying at my moms, am really looking forward to Shaun coming home so I can sleep in my own bed. Mom has been wonderful but the couch is not very comfy! Maybe you're right, that I shouldn't sleep with Willow. I do enjoy the cuddles, but when i go home the bed is much taller that the couch I am on and I would hate to see her fall and hurt herself.

I want to share a little memory that always made me smile each day, and still does to think about it.

Heaven had this little stuffed chick that I bought her when she was a kitten. She would carry it around and make these funny little squeaky sounds. Without fail, each morning the little chick would be outside my bedroom door and each day when I got home form work the little chick would be waiting for me at the front door. It was like her little present for me each day. When I got Willow, she tried to claim the chick as her own, Heaven happily shared it but would reclaim it when Willow wasn't looking. I buried the little chick with heaven along with her favorite blankie. I have kept her gold name tag and wear it on my necklace to feel close.

Alison_Leighfield
23rd October 2006, 10:00 AM
Hi Lisa,

I've just been catching up with this thread again......

Lisa I lost a little cav a few months ago, my Honey. Even today it's still very hard. I have loved other little dogs that have left us as well but this little one was a very special one. This little girl felt like a part of me. Never had I felt like this before. I have three other dogs at home now but the space that she has left still makes me so very sad, how I miss her to this day.
You really do need to just give yourself the time and to be able to cry when you want, talk about your kitty when you want and to have your quiet moments alone as well.
Some days I manage all day without a cry and on others I can fall apart so easily, it doesn't take much believe me. It's still raw.
I found that by putting a memory book together really helped....it's not something I have done before...but I find it a comfort this time.
I only parted with Honeys blanket last week...it went through the washer and her smell has now gone, that was painful but I needed to start being more positive about it all. It's time to remember the good, wonderful days that we shared together.

My main comfort and I hope this will be part of yours also is that for the short time I owned her (Honey was a fuppy farm rescue) I truly adored and loved her, she never wanted for anything and she had a very happy year with me, like your kitty she was very, very, much loved, well cared for and had a mom that loved, cherished and spoilt her....what little animal could ask for more than that?... many could only dream of ever having a home like that. Ours really had that home.

Lisa you cry if you need to, yell if it helps...it is painful without them, we have lost something that we loved very much....but they have left their little gift to us...we have our memories and we have to treasure those forever.

It will get easier with time, you just need to be gentle on yourself and know that what you are feeling now is perfectly natural OK. :lotsaluv:

Here if you need a shoulder, I'm understanding everything you are going through, I'm there myself.

With love,

Alison xxx

Wilts, U.K.

Maxxs_Mummy
25th October 2006, 03:05 PM
Lisa,

Your little Heaven was a beautiful puddy :flwr: it does hurt but as Alison has said you need to just take time to grieve.

It's funy, Hunnybuns wasn't my baby but when Alison lost her I wept buckets and still do when I see her pic.

As Alison said at least they knew love - many aren't as fortunate :(

Take care

XXXXX :flwr: XXXXX