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merlinsmum
3rd November 2006, 08:14 PM
Pet Rules
PET RULES
To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.

Dear Dogs and Cats,

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years -- canine or feline attendance is not required.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:

1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

Remember: In many ways, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3 Are easier to train
4. Normally come when called
5. Never ask to drive the car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't want to wear your clothes
10. Don't need a "gazillion" dollars for college.


And finally,


11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.



Courtesy of www.amazinjokes.com

Maxxs_Mummy
3rd November 2006, 08:17 PM
LMAO I love it :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

matties mum
3rd November 2006, 08:30 PM
:lol: :lol: :lol: puppy rules
what is yours is now mine
anythink on the floor is mine
---Aileen

cecily
3rd November 2006, 08:33 PM
I LOVE that!!! Especially number 11 :rotfl:
Excellent, I must print it. :lol:

duncans_ma
3rd November 2006, 09:42 PM
Pet Rules
PET RULES
Also, I have been using the bathroom for years -- canine or feline attendance is not required.


Someone please!! explain this to my two!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Maxxs_Mummy
3rd November 2006, 09:52 PM
Pet Rules
PET RULES
Also, I have been using the bathroom for years -- canine or feline attendance is not required.


Someone please!! explain this to my two!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Yep, mine as well. When Whitney was staying I had to take 3 of them into my tiny downstairs loo with me :roll:

Comes to something when we can't even have a wee in peace :lol:

duncans_ma
3rd November 2006, 09:54 PM
Comes to something when we can't even have a wee in peace :lol:

I wouldn't have it any other way! :D

merlinsmum
3rd November 2006, 11:37 PM
They're just doing the same to you ans you do to them - you watch them go potty - so they watch you go potty too! Only you don't get any praise :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

moniechris
4th November 2006, 02:19 AM
Yah!! where is my "good potty" cookie?? Its a good thing I don't get stage fright with 6 little eyes peering at me. icon_whistling This was the funniest thing I have ever read! :lol:

Cathy Moon
4th November 2006, 02:07 PM
:rotfl:

brid kenny
4th November 2006, 04:08 PM
Ha ha. Printed and on the fridge!!