View Full Version : it hurts :(

4th December 2006, 09:23 PM
On Friday morning, my beautiful 13 month old baby ran out in front of a car and died instantly.

I am heart broken, she was staying with my parents while I was away (I got back Sunday) and they too, as you can imagine, are devastated - it wasn't anyone's fault, she was just hyper all the time (in a great way) and decided to run off in the wrong direction (not so great)

Anyway, now I don't know what to do.. I don't want to 'replace' Poppy, but at the same time, my husband and I loved having her so much that thoughts of getting another one cross my mind. We travel a lot and perhaps we shouldn't have a dog, I feel so guilty that I had left her (not because of what happened, my parents loved and treated her so well, I just wish it had been me playing with her every day for this last week or so)

I'm sorry I haven't posted here very often, I just came back cause I knew you'd all understand

4th December 2006, 09:28 PM
Oh I'm just so sorry for you...you must all be devestated :( :( :(

Sadly accidents do happen, I know there are several other similar stories on here, so you are not alone.

You can't ever replace a dog, but it can help to fill the dreadful hole that they leave by having another fur baby.

Would your parents still be willing to look after another one whilst you are away if you travel a lot? Or would you be able to take the dog with you?

Give yourselves time to grieve and then have a very long think about the right thing for you...and for the dog...

Thinking of you... :flwr: :flwr: :flwr:

4th December 2006, 09:33 PM
:cry*ing: :cry*ing: :cry*ing: :cry*ing:

Thinking of you and your family. I am so sorry that this has happened. Little ones are never replaced so to speak. I think our hearts just grow larger to make room for another love.

Take time and think. You will make the right decision.

Let us know if there is anything we can do. :flwr:

4th December 2006, 09:34 PM
Thanks Nicki and Lindsay

My parents would be willing - although I don't know if I can risk putting them through the pain again, if you see what I mean? I trust them with everything, but they are so devastated it makes me feel even worse.

A great option is we're moving house soon and are going to live about half a mile away from my sister - she and her husband are thinking about getting a dog but have always resisted because they work all day

My husband and I work at home, so my sister and I may go and get new puppies together and we'd watch hers during the day, and when we needed to travel, they could stay together at their house

Poppy was a few months away from having her passport to come traveling with us.

I don't think I can live without a fur baby, but I want to do the right thing for the potential new one we could bring home

Cathy T
4th December 2006, 10:09 PM
Oh how awful!! I am so sorry for your loss.

It sounds like you have a good plan for the future though. I think I would go with this plan. I knew I was going to lose my kitty (she had lymphoma) and began planning for a new pet. That's how we ended up with Jake. She lived much longer than anticipated and when she finally passed it was such a comfort to have Jake. I couldn't stand an empty house.

Gingers Mommy
4th December 2006, 10:26 PM
Bonnie Pirate-
Im SO sorry for you and your family. As I dont know exactly how your feeling I can just imagine- yesterday I was out on my way to a dog "howliday" party. Ginger saw a feather flying on the street as I was trying to hail a cab and she jumped out of her bag and into oncoming traffic. By some miracle there was a lull in the cars passing and 2 girls walking by started screaming so the other cars started slowing down. I ran after her and grabbed her leash. It was the most awful thing ever and my entire body was shaking. The girls were nice enough to stand with me a moment and ask if I was alright bc clearly Ginger was doing fine, barely affected. I felt so guilty and as if it was my fault. I can imagine you are having the most terrible feelings but know that it happens and its uncontrollable.
The first person that I told what happened (another cav owner at the party) was like Yeah petey here got hit by a car a few years back. Its much more common than I had thought.
Im sorry for your loss and I think that you and your sister getting new pups will be a wonderful thing. Of course it wont replace poppy but it will fill the void in your and your husbands hearts. I think your parents will even be delighted as well.
The devastation probably never goes away as it is a helpless thing.

4th December 2006, 10:44 PM
I am so very sorry for your heartache and feel ever so badly for your parents. I know they must be heartsick.

Your story hit way too close to home. I know exactly how you are feeling.
I don't think I'll ever fully recover from losing my sweet Beatrice, a little over a year ago, in nearly the same way. I feel your pain. But the dear people on this forum helped me so much. I don't know what I would have done if I hadn't had this as a place to pour out my grief during those first few days. We all grieve and deal with loss in our own fashion. If you need time, take it; if you need to scream to the heavens, be loud enough to be heard; if you need to be alone, disappear for a while - what ever it takes. Use all of us to vent and help you heal. Only you will know what will make you feel better. Although time will help, don't be surprised to come upon Poppy's little face from time to time in the days and months to come. Bea came to the back door just a couple of weeks ago. . . sounds nuts, but I know what I saw - she was there. Sometimes I think they know you need the sight of them to get through the day, their spirits are so strong. And before you send the men with nets, I'm not the only one that has "seen" her. Hang in there, go to a shelter and hug a baby in need, Poppy will be watching. My sincere hope you will someday have another furball to love.

5th December 2006, 12:46 AM
Very sorry for your loss :(

5th December 2006, 09:59 AM
I am so sorry for your loss.

JaneB, you have said it all. Thank you! Probably you are right . there are some special dogs and special events, from what we can never totally recover. I am working home at my computer on this time of day and meanwhile just popped here reading. I could not contiunue... Now, after walking around my apartemeny, making some tea etc, I am still in tears. I lost my dearest puppy some months ago. She showed in every way, that she was going to be the most special dog I ever had. Why the best ones have to leave so early? For me the hardest time must be over (and I kow it is), but I still find myself in these moments. And in tears, which is not my normal behaviour at all.
I am looking for a new puppy now. New friends can not replace those we have lost. But thats true - our hearts just grow bigger!

Someone told me a story I like to share with you. Young girl grow up with a big dog, who was very special, smart, protecting, trustful. The dog had a long life and when he finally passed away, he was burried under the big tree, where had been his favourite place, when he was still alive. The girl, young woman now, came to the tree every time, she felt she had to speak with her old friend. After some time she asked her friends spirit, if he could pick a new dog for her - who can know better than her old friend, which dog is the the best for her. She has had two dogs after that, one of them has also passed away. Nether of them has been a copy of her old friend, but both of them had something alike. And on the first walk she has always brought her new puppy to the grave of her old friend. And she has felt deep satisfaction when the puppies went straight to the place and lied down like the old dog had used to do. She was sure, her old friend had approved the new ones.

Some day you will meet your new furbaby and Poppy will be happy for you!

7th December 2006, 02:25 PM
That's terrible, hope you and your family are doing ok, it's never easy to loose a loved one especially when its an accident.
My thoughts are with you

8th December 2006, 04:58 PM
That's so awful. I feel so bad for you and your parents. :cry*ing:

A couple of years ago I was looking after my parents' dog, and he ran away. Luckily he was OK, but I've never been as terrified in my life.

I hope you start to feel better soon - I can't imagine how hard it must be for you all :(

Pepsi x

9th December 2006, 05:23 PM
I have only just seen that - I am so sorry for your loss, there is no planned way of dealing with this kind of thing, all I would like to say is that your beautiful fur baby had a special life with you and your husband and your parents and that you should remember the funny things you did together, she is now over the bridge and will always been watching over you.

9th December 2006, 06:26 PM
I am so sorry for you loss, many hugs to you :hug:

take care and think of those fond memories, i'm sure there are many even for such a short life :flwr:

9th December 2006, 10:19 PM
so sorry for ur loss!

9th December 2006, 10:24 PM
I am very sorry for your loss.

10th December 2006, 01:10 AM
I am so sorry to hear about your tragedy. My bassett hound was 14.5 years old and getting very sick. I started researching new dogs 6 months before she died, because I knew I couldn't live without a dog in the house. Too quiet. No one to love you unconditionally.

It sounds like you have a good plan and arrangement with your sister. I really hope you find the puppies you are looking for when you want them. I also pray that you will be comforted by all the great memories Poppy gave you.

10th December 2006, 11:05 AM
Destiny is sometimes very cruel. I'm so sad to hear of that terrible accident.

You know, persons need to have the gone-dog with them, buried in the garden or with ashes in a box.
Others prefer incineration.

Some persons cannot have another dog immediately. They need time.
Other have imediately another dog.

We are different, and different in front of the death, and our pain is told differently, and we need different quantity of time to accept.

It is no rule, do as you feel.

Personnaly, 1 week after Wendy has flown away, I had Ester on my knees.
I was unable to live without a dog to love :( I became completly mad.
Ester was the best medecine for my heart. And we go ahead together.
When I look to Ester, I see attitudes of my Wendy. Ester is "my black Wendy".
My incredible Nidou has a lot of same attitudes as my so loved Jessie.

My angels are still alive, a part of them is in my new loves.
Love never die. I'm sure about this.

You will not "replace" your baby, you will have a dog, another dog.

Do as your heart will guide you, only that.

A big kiss to tou

Cathy Moon
10th December 2006, 02:28 PM
My angels are still alive, a part of them is in my new loves.
Love never die. I'm sure about this.

You will not "replace" your baby, you will have a dog, another dog.

Do as your heart will guide you, only that.

This is sooo true!

My heart goes out to you and your family. The time to get a new puppy is when it feels right to you. That's a great idea to get puppies together with your sister.

I think I caused myself extra suffering when I waited 6 months to get another dog after my Tasha died.

15th December 2006, 12:46 PM
I am so very sorry. I am only just catching up on here, that's why I didn't see your post sooner :(

Go with your heart, if your heart is telling you to get another baby then get one. You won't be relpacing Poppy but opening your heart to another little one :flwr:

15th December 2006, 09:33 PM
I am so sorry.

My thoughts are with you :hug:

23rd December 2006, 06:37 AM
so sad reading about your baby.. :(
my deepest sympathy to you, your partner and your parents.

your arrangement with your sister sounds wonderful, i wish i had something like that.

my first dog, when i was a kid, was teddy, she died by being hit by a car after she had run away when she got scared by firecrackers. the pain never goes away. I wanted a new dog right away. but the next two i had, i didn't get close to, they were not that kind of dog, the way teddy was. then after i moved away from my parents, i got frank and she was my best friend and constant companion for 13 years. she died of cancer. It was and always will be painful to lose frank, but teddy's death was more terrible because she was young (4 years old) and died in that violent way. after frank, my life circumstances didn't permit getting a dog. now, 25 years later, i got zack. your story is a reminder of how precious each moment with them is. you never know what's going to happen.

jana--the story of the old dog was very comforting to me somehow. thanks

29th December 2006, 12:00 AM
thank you all for your kind words

i still miss my beautiful baby, but if you will note my avatar, my husband and i decided to give a home to a new baby - meet Penny :)

they say that people(/dogs) can "take the space but never the place" - this is definitely true.. i will never ever forget Poppy, I think about her every day... BUT in this case, Penny has got a whole new place for herself hehe - she's absolutely beautiful (no bias here ;))

29th December 2006, 12:33 AM
Oh Katie! I am soooo happy for you. I know your heart is still broken but this new baby will give you great joy and the love you need to heal.
God bless you all!

Teddy and sweet, little Katydid

29th December 2006, 01:18 AM
Congratulations Katie - Penny will help you heal over the loss of Poppy. The day after I had to have my 14.5 year old basset hound put to sleep, I found Pippin. It really does help to have a new little one in your life. The puppy is someone to hold and love and take care of.

Cathy Moon
29th December 2006, 12:28 PM
Katie, so glad you found Penny! She is adorable! Puppies can be sooo healing. :flwr:

18th January 2007, 01:26 PM
I've just lost my wee boy, not thru death as I had to re-house him but it's just as hard. In my case our vet advised me that he may not survive a flight from New Zealand to western australia, let alone the change in climate. So I think that I did the right thing for him. I was told by his new family that I'm welcome to visit before I leave here but that would just make things more difficult for me. Yet the regular phone calls and e-mails help a bit. on the funny side it seems that "sir" did not appreciate being marched off to the "doggy dentist" and actually bit someone for the first time ever. He's 10 yr old and had been with me for the last 6 years.

22nd February 2007, 05:06 PM
kiwi, I'm so sorry that you're having to go through that, I know you will have put him in a great new family so hopefully seeing him happy with them with give you some kind of peace.. Maybe you can get him a brother in your new home?

(sorry it took me so long to reply, we've moved house and have no internet!)

11th March 2007, 03:17 PM
I'm so sorry...what an horrifying experience. :( I hope that it does work out for you to get a new pup some day.