Bittersweet-Update Our Baby Comes Home in a Month

This past Monday I found out I was pregnant which is wonderful news but I think it ends the idea of getting a Cavalier puppy this year. Though I hate to sound so disappointed at the idea of having my first baby I am a little sad as I have been waiting for my first puppy since I was a child and to be so close (puppy was due to be home in June) and have that slip away so suddenly is a bit upsetting. I just had a blood test today to confirm the pregnancy and Ill find out on Friday but the Dr seems to be pretty sure that I have a baby in my womb. Once the pregnancy is 100% confirmed I will probably contact my breeder and let her know and go from there. I know that there will definitely be a pup in my future maybe just not right now so Im trying to keep my chin up. My husband knows how sad I am about this (though I'm trying not to be as I am going to have a baby and all :wink: ) and he said we might be able to get one before the baby but I'm not sure I really want to juggle both at the same time. So depending on my results on Friday I might not be posting quite as much for a while as its hard for me to see all your beautiful dogs and not ache for my own. But I will be back one day as my love for this breed is larger then any disappointment I might be feeling now and I know one day I will finally be posting pics of my new Cavy puppy..with my new baby So I thank you all for your friendship, knowledge, and support. And though I say I wont post Illl probably lurk from time to time as your dogs are all too lovely for words

Jasmine

Jasmine - first of all....congratulations!!!!! Oh darling, you can get a puppy anytime. Enjoy your first pregnancy and love your baby with every minute you have. When baby is bigger and you're ready...then you can get a puppy. I think you are very wise to make this decision and wish you nothing but fabulous luck and a great great future!!

I know how you are feeling but you will be overjoy once your baby gets here keep us informed and I will look forward to seeing you with your new baby and in time your pup----Aileen

It's always difficult dealing with change. At least it's just posponed and not put off forever. I agree it would be hard to juggle both a puppy and a new baby. You're very blessed to be able to have both one day. Keep us posted on the pregnancy. Don't be sad. :hug:

As a girl whos had two babys, I can tell you that perhaps this might be a good time to bring a puppy into the house....I fully understand being overwhelmed at the thought of a baby and all the responsibilitys that it brings...but only speaking for myself, a puppy might have killed some of the down time I had for the first year while waiting for the baby to wake up...not to mention the depression I felt for the first year being out of the working loop .

I felt very isolated, all my working friends were too busy for me during the day and I had a real feeling of being alone. My husband was far to busy to handle my many phone calls during the day of how every feeding went...When I look back on that time I was very depressed, and a loving little fur ball may have made a big difference.

We as women feel like this time should be the most wonderful in our lives, that wasnt the case for me. I love my children...but the baby years left me feeling a bit "empty"

Im by no means telling you to get in over your head, or do something that your not comfortable with, but I am telling you that your going to be home for an extended period anyway, and it may help to ease those baby blues!

Pending on what your plans are, and how much time your going to take off, This really may be workable~ for everyone. Take your time in making this decision, and discuss it with your husband....Congrats on the great news, it is life changing...but I dont know that you have to give up your dream either....Just my two cents.

EDIT TO ADD:

And this will make you laugh~ and you will all be able to tell what a freek I am, For the first three weeks my husband and I stayed up in shifts to watch our oldest sleep thru the night. For some crazy reason we thought that if one of us wasnt awake something would happen with her and she would stop breathing or something~ I promise you, if you both fall asleep at the same time nothing will happen. Ill never forget the morning we both woke up totally exausted from our crazy self imposed shifts....and realised that she was still alive the relief we felt. Nobody ever mentioned that it was O.K. to sleep~ I really dont know what in the heck we were thinking....but looking back that would have left us both plenty of time to walk a puppy.....*smile*

Yes, Congratulations on your baby!!!

You can get a pup anytime.....enjoy your pregnancy and the beginning of your childs' life!

Keep us posted and can't wait to see the baby pics! :flwr: :flwr:

Congratulations on the baby news! You will get your puppy one day. I agree with you on it being too much. I never had babies, but this little puppy for me, has been like a baby, and I can't imagine doing both. Of course, maybe if I were younger, but it takes a lot of your time. Enjoy the baby, and then enjoy the puppy when it's time. Best wishes to you.

Congratulations Jasmine. Either way you'll have a wonderful new baby to care for, or a puppy. I think this is wonderful news. Please let us know if and when it will be due.

If you think shopping for puppies is fun, wait till you shop for babies. I do not have any myself, but have had a blast shopping when each of my 12 nieces and nephews were born. I just love shopping for babies and toddlers.

I've meaning to ask you how your Interpreting Certification Testing went? Have you taken it yet, and if so, when do you get the results? You've got a very full plate. I agree with Cathy T. You can have a puppy anytime.

Congratulations on your pregnancy! Iam also pregnant, due in April. We fortunately got our 2 boys in the last 3 years so 1 will be nearly 3 and the other 18 months by the time the baby comes.

Only you can make the right decision for your family. Personally I agree that now that you are pregnant perhaps waiting till your bubs is a little older may be the best time for adding a puppy to your household. Both puppies and babies are a lot of work in the early stages and training your puppy early on will result in a better behaved dog down the track. You need the time to devote to either a baby or a puppy. Especially since you wouldn't have been getting your pup till June which would only leave you a few months with pup before bubs is due.

Enjoy your pregnancy, hope you're feeling well with it so far, and cherish becoming a mother for the first time. I can't wait. I'm sure you will be a dogmum as well sometime in the near future.

My husbands parents got a dog about a year before hubby was born. That dog always knew where he stood in the pecking order - just below hubbys older brother and well and truly ahead of mu husband!

I respectfully ask those of you that feel that a baby and a Pup are to much why you feel the way you do? I ask this not only for the benifit of the board today but also for those in the future.

Id like to know what exactly you base your opinions on, and why this is far to daunting of a task for one to manage? Perhaps Ive just been out of the baby loop for to long? My youngest is 8 so it hasnt been that long has it?

My hairdresser got a new puppy a mth before her baby was born and moved into a new home 2 wks before the birth! Me, never in a million years, my jaw dropped when I heard!

For ME my first child was a whole new world with ups and downs learning the parenting game (I'd never even held a baby before) but it also is my most cherished memory, along with the birth of my second child too!

Puppies are wonderful and dogs add so much to a families life - but there will be lots of time to enjoy pets later.

Besides, puppies and dogs are really children to many of us. Once you start preparing for the birth and thereafter, you'll have such joy you wont be missing a thing. And then before you know it, it will be the perfect time to add a puppy for the whole family to enjoy.

I am basing my opinion on my experience with a Cav puppy. This is my opinion only based on my experience. Cavs especially, (my puppy is no exception) are very clingy. My puppy does not want us out of her sight. She wants to be held all the time, and played with when not being held. We were up 3 times a night until she was almost 4 months old. I think it would be hard to juggle a newborn and a puppy, and give both the attention they need. Both babies and puppies require a lot of time and attention. In my opinion, it would be difficult to manage both. IMHO, it would be better to enjoy both experiences to the max at separate times. Babies are expensive and so are puppies, that would be a factor as well. This is just MO.

First of all, CONGRATULATIONS on the possibility of your first pregnancy and baby! :flwr:
Some people struggle for years trying to conceive, myself included. As a matter of fact, I was so depressed that I couldn't get pregnant or a job (dh was in the service and we were living away from home in Italy), that my inlaws sent us a DoG....two days before I got a job AND found out that I was pregnant! :yikes I had about six months to train this active chocolate lab before my son was born. That dog was a godsend to our family, my son especially. She lived for almost 13 years and was devoted to us all, but especially my first born. We joked that she knew he was a wild thing and needed extra protection, so she stuck by him like glue.

If you want to watch a cav and your child grow up together, go for it. But it may be wise to get the pup sooner, rather than later. Something to consider, however, is that some breeders are reluctant to place a pup in a home with a toddler.

I love my pups, but my kids ARE my life. You are lucky! Rejoice and glad!

Mic said:

I had about six months to train this active chocolate lab!

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Oh I always swore my next dog (our yellow lab was put down in oct at 15) would be a CHOCOLATE LAB, HOW I LOVE THEM! Ah but when it rolled around to reality this fall, I realized another large dog did not suit our lifestyle now But I am happy I found the cavaliers as they seem just as playful and ofcouse beautiful!

congratulations jasmine--that's wonderful news. I have one child, now 23 years old, and it was the most wonderful experience of my life, a life with many wonderful experiences. It was the ultimate peak for me, in terms of inspiration and transformation and profound love like i'd never felt before. It was quite hard for me in lots of ways, not too hard, i could handle it, and handling it was so good for me, but it was truly hard. As it worked out, i never had a second child but i always knew that if i had, it would've been easier, i would've been more laid back and would've learned from some mistakes.

for me, having a puppy would've been hard because i was quite stretched with my daughter the first year. I was 34 and used to doing what i wanted and having my space to myself, it was a real change, and i would long for her nap so i could be alone with my thoughts, and could think about things. i liked to think in those days. :lol: That first year, my daughter woke up a lot during the night, nursing on demand, and that really made me crazy. So, and i'm saying this partly in answer to Maxwell and Me about why someone would not want to have a puppy and baby at the same time. I'm just speaking for me, and i think Maxwell and Me makes a good point, that for some it can be a positive thing. I wasn't lonely much when my daughter was a baby, i loved having some solitude. Anyway, it might have been nice to have a puppy at that time, but the way i remember it, i think it would've stressed me out more. when i got Zack, he was sick with colitis, and then vomiting too, and i had to take him to the ER at midnight. I was going to the vet three times a week and i was going nuts, it was one of the most stressful unhappy scary depressing experiences i've ever had, and it wasn't even a serious illness, once i finally found a vet who knew what was wrong with him, but that took 5 weeks that lasted forever. To have had a baby too, that would've been even worse, i would've felt guilty for not being there enough for either one of them.

Remember the movie, Lady and the Tramp, when Jim Dear and Darling have their baby, and Lady starts being neglected and she is so hurt and sad, and doesn't understand why she's not the center of attention anymore? I am sure there are families where that can happen. That wonderful movie tried to tell the story from the dog's perspective. Of course, cavaliers are irresistable so they can probably find a way to fit into the picture, like in mic's and maxwell/me's families. But Lady seemed just like a Cavalier. :|

ok, it wasn't real life. :lol:

Having said all that, i can imagine how sad you must be, having looked forward to having your puppy and dreamed of how it was going to be, and getting to share your experiences with others. Of course, you'll have a puppy some day. I can understand your caution about doing it right before the baby's due, but i know it must be disappointing.

maybe you can find a discussion forum for people with new babies? i know it's not the same. But seriously, it would've been so cool for me if i had had the internet when my daughter was a baby and i was tied down. I actually started taking prerequisites for a graduate program in educational psychology when my daughter was 7 months old and started the masters program full time when she was 14 months, but it was great, i was studying child development and psychology and it was quite helpful to me in raising her.

i am happy for you, for the adventure you are embarking on. I know you will love it, and before long, you will have your doggy too, and your child will have a wonderful companion. :flwr:

Congratualtions Jasmine :flwr:

I think only you can make up your own mind about this but I wish I'd had a Cavalier when my first was born. It might have given him something to watch and have calmed him down as well as being just what I needed as well :lol:

When I had my second, I already had an extremely hyperactive 4 yr old and a young GSD (under a year). It was wonderful to see my kids growing with her and whilst we never left them alone together, i know I could have trusted her implicitly for she loved & protected those kids as though they were her own babies. It WAS however, extremely hard work as she was the most demanding dog I have ever known - we still miss her now though

Maybe weigh up the options and how you will cope with it all, as I said, only you can make the decision and if you have many doubts then don't go there - there are enough Cavs in rescue because of new babies

Maybe you could borrow a Cav every now and then? Might help your longing a bit :flwr:

Hi everyone I know its not Friday but I wanted to say thank you all for your sweet and encouraging posts. I knew all of you would understand how I feel as Cavys have a way of stealing your heart away. My husband seems to be on the same line as many of you on saying we can still get a puppy. This is the first baby for both of us and it is a bit unexpected. My hubby and I only just got married in August and I'm 25 and he will be turning 26 in a week but we weren't planning on having kids for another 2 years or so so our lil surprise caught us off guard a bit. My biggest concern with getting a pup is the cost. Babies are expensive and I'm worried if we spend it on a pup we wont have enough for the baby. Also Im worried that when the baby comes the pup wont receive as much attention as it needs or is use to and I don't want that to happen. Lastly because this baby came so soon I will probably have to return to work almost right away as we simply cant afford right now to pay the mortgage and have a baby without another income. My husband is a teacher and I am trying to work my way into the educational realm as an interpreter of the deaf but Im not sure if that will happen before the baby or not. I was thinking of maybe an older pup who was already house trained as that might be easier but Im not sure. I want to talk to my breeder as well and see how she feels as she might not want to sell me a pup now with a baby on the way. A lot of things to think about still but I appreciate all your input and I will be thinking this over a lot the next few months. Will update you guys tomorrow when we finally know the answer Thanks again everyone

Jasmine

Congrats on the little bun in the oven! There is nothing like the blessing of a child! Trust me, I would take a baby any day, but due to medical problems I can't have children of my own without expensive treatments! Imagine finding this out at 21!! I am 24 now and dh and I are starting a family with our doggie, since he is in Medical School and starting our own family is just not financially possible! We always tease that we don't have enough money to buy our kid! One round of in-vitro is $40,000+ and adoptions run from $10,000 and up. We don't want to "finance" a kid, so a dog was the perfect option for us. But, enough about me!

I am not going to give my personal opinion on what you should do. I think it is a personal decision that needs to be made by you and your husband.


I can tell you the experience of two friends:

1. This lady and her hubby were expecting thier first child at the time and already had one Cavalier. When she was 6 months pregnant, they added a 12 week old puppy into thier home. They have never thought twice about it or even batted an eye! They love thier family and all three of thier children (both fur [2] and human [1]).

2. This lady and her hubby found out they were pregnant a week after they had already purchased a 12 week old beagle puppy. They kept the puppy well into the pregnancy and even after the birth of thier daughter. Around the time thier daughter turned 11 months, they started looking into getting rid of Toby, thier pup. They said that their daughter required too much attention, and they were expecting thier second child as well. So needless to say, they gave Toby up for adoption.

See, it is all personal preference. Every situation is different and you need to do what is best for your family. I think it was Karlin that suggested borrowing a friends dog for a weekend and seeing if you can handle it, in one of the other threads. Maybe you could do this. It would be a good indication of your ability to handle the situation (or at least one side of it).

Jasmine, congratulations! That is such a blessing. I know, though, that I would be disappointed if I had my heart set on my first pup and found out I had to delay that. In the end, you will know what is best for you and your family. There will be plus and negative sides no matter which way you go about the pup. My parents got our first Springer a month before my mom found out she was pregnant. They of course kept her and she was my best bud growing up, because we grew up together. On the other side of the spectrum, Josh's sister just had a baby in July. It is hitting them really hard financially because they were not planning on children at the time. They are having to sell both their cars, expensive jewelry (including her engagement ring ) etc., but that is mainly because they are too proud to borrow money from Josh's parents or her husbands parents.

My advice is go with what will make you the most comfortable and don't stress about it over the next 8-9 months. Be opened minded to anyone offering to help you. Keep happy and healthy and promise to post a pic of your REAL new baby

Good luck and we will be thinking of you! :flwr:

Maxwell&me said:

I respectfully ask those of you that feel that a baby and a Pup are to much why you feel the way you do? I ask this not only for the benifit of the board today but also for those in the future.

Id like to know what exactly you base your opinions on, and why this is far to daunting of a task for one to manage? Perhaps Ive just been out of the baby loop for to long? My youngest is 8 so it hasnt been that long has it?

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For me personally, the thought of a puppy who wasn't house trained would be tricky, especially when baby is crawling. But mostly just the extra work load concerns me.

By the sound of it, you were incredibly well organised for a new Mum. I never remember having to wait around till baby woke up as you mention in your first reply. I had 100 jobs to do and the place was still a mess. I did have 2 babies in 14 months, but I think your average new Mum would find it a stuggle to find time to do all of the basics let alone adding to the work load. I'm sure it can be done but it wouldn't be for me. :flwr: