View Full Version : Today seems hard...

23rd September 2007, 06:59 PM
Hello everyone, you have all been so lovely with kind words to say about daisy. Today seems hard, i have been so upset today. :( l feel quite stressed and have a terrible headache. Been looking at photos of her, and can't help but miss her so much. Could be that yesterday we were talking about her a lot because my parents came over for a meal, or it could be that i am back to work tomorrow (was actually on 2 weeks holiday when daisy passed), and i probably feel a bit tense about that, because its "back to normal" and it doesn't feel very normal at the minute...

Heres a photo that i took just the week before she passed... i think it is my favourite photo of her, just the way shes looking up at me...


23rd September 2007, 07:12 PM
Aw, hugs to you! It's been such a short time, of course you are still so upset.

That is such a lovely picture... just look at how Daisy is looking at you, and you at her. The love is utterly transparent. You are so fortunate that you had each other, albeit for too short a time.

Please allow yourself the time to grieve properly... there is no such thing as too long, it is so individual. Sometimes I think that trying to get back to "normal" too soon is unhealty. Allow time for sadness, it's an important part of the process.

I'm so glad that you posted your feelings today.. it's so important to talk about them. :hug::hug::hug:

23rd September 2007, 07:12 PM
Hi Emma,
I know exactly how you feel. I haven't been able to talk about Honey at all really. I only just told my best friend today so have been feeling a bit down because it only seem real when you actually talk about it. Having lost Cassie only last year I know things will get better with time.

I'm sure Bluebell will help lessen the pain. I know Molly and Bella make me laugh every day which really helps.


23rd September 2007, 07:13 PM
That's such a beautiful picture Emma. I think we are all grieving with you. She was a special little girl. :hug:

23rd September 2007, 07:18 PM
Hi Emma.
You describe the loss of Daisy so precise. I agree with the others that there is no such thing as enough time or a certain amount of days. Talking, crying, laughing and talking is just the only way forward, and don't expect that it is one long trip onward. There will be setbacks, where you get surprised by your own reaction, but it is part of the process.
Hugs and the best wishes

23rd September 2007, 07:19 PM
i Know how you must feel :( that photo is beuitful and somethink you can treasure forever

23rd September 2007, 07:19 PM
Its hard. Today coming home in the car been at the Sunday market it just hit me about coco and i started bawling. Thats the worst thinking things are getting a little easier and then wham. Sorry if i seem negative but i suppose its all part of the grieving process and hopefully things will get better.:hug:

brid kenny
23rd September 2007, 07:29 PM
So sorry. Yes of course it must be hard especially at the thought of getting back to "normality" tomorrow. But we are thinking of you here.

23rd September 2007, 07:31 PM
Take your time Emma,

Just reading your post bought back memories of my old lad Chad, who is behind every single dog I currently have bar 1, I lost him 5 years ago next month, and I am not ashamed to say I was crying over his memory today. That truly is an incredible picture and is a memory worth cherishing indeed. The pain does get less in time and the good memories overtake the awful one's at the end of their time with us, please trust me on that one.

Have an extra long cuddle with Bluebell and talk to her about Daisy, believe me it will help both of you :hug: :lotsaluv: You are very much in my thoughts tonight. :hug: :flwr:

Barbara Nixon
23rd September 2007, 07:41 PM
I think it's perhaps best not to get the photos out for a while and to put things like favourite toys and bowls away. I found that with Izzy and can now look at photos without upset.

Things from before do upset you , as I found some years ago during some personal troubles. I looked at a plastic parrot, once filled with bubblebath, that I'd bought for my son, during better times and burst out crying. David removed it and it ceased to bother me.

23rd September 2007, 09:20 PM
My heart goes out to you Emma. I can empathize with you how you feel having just lost my basset Savannah last Wednesday. It is like having an injury that you always feel...an ache but then something will trigger the deep pain like counting heads when the doglets come in and then remembering there is one less....and the list goes on. I hope with time when we remember our babes the tears will be less and the warm smiles will be more but for today I just feel like there is a hole in me...an empty ache. Take care.


23rd September 2007, 09:42 PM
Emma, it's never easy actually. Words of kindness and wishful messages are from your friends here that care about you. But, it's times like today when you look around and feel your lost that is the most painful. I'm not sure how all here copes with a lost of dear love one, since many have. My experience, the pain never goes away. It does lessen and I do still cry openly. Just never goes away really...:(

Cathy T
23rd September 2007, 10:49 PM
Awwww....Emma. I'm so sorry. That is such a beautiful picture of you and Daisy....made me well up just looking at it. Of course you will continue to miss her and cry. It's only natural. You were such a good mommy to her and loved her so much. Little girl had so many problems but you took them all in stride. Cry...it's okay....it'll help. Hugs from all of us!!

23rd September 2007, 10:51 PM
That is such a sweet photograph. Don't be hard on yourself for still grieving. Though there is no time limit on it, it is a long process and you'll have your good & bad days for a while. May way of coping with grief is probably the opposite to what many are comfortable with, but I just let myself immerse in it. I keep photos around & things that remind me of the departed and if I want to cry, I cry. For me, that is healing. But we all grieve in different ways.


23rd September 2007, 10:55 PM
My way of coping with grief is probably the opposite to what many are comfortable with, but I just let myself immerse in it. I keep photos around & things that remind me of the departed and if I want to cry, I cry. For me, that is healing. But we all grieve in different ways. :hug:

So incredibly true Caraline, so incredibly true...........:hug: :hug:

23rd September 2007, 11:23 PM
It's a lovely, lovely picture. As others have said, there are no right or wrong ways to grieve and you need to give yourself lots of time. After a time the painful memories dim and you can enjoy the pleasure of all your warm and special memories, but that time can seem very far away right now when it is all so raw.

Like Caraline, I tend to like to have mementos around me -- a collar, pictures, things that make me smile through the tears.

Daisy was so special in so many ways and had a big personality that touched a lot of us even though we never met her. :flwr:

Mary, so sorry you recently lost Savannah. :(

24th September 2007, 02:42 AM
That sure is a precious photo Emma. I think you should put it into a very special frame and keep it where you will see it many times a day. I wonder if you did a special creative project to honor Daisy if that would help you with the grieving? (scrap book, photo book, quilt, ect)

I agree with what others have said....we all felt a bond with your precious Daisy and we all grieve for her and for you. Be very gentle with yourself...

Sending you big :hug: :hug: :hug:

Ginger's Mom
26th September 2007, 12:16 AM
Emma, my heart goes out to you and I will pray for you today.

It must be so hard, especially losing Daisy such at a young age.

I lost my first dog when he was that young and it just happened so sudden. The next few weeks I was more in shock than in grief. It just happened too sudden, and it seemed unfair that I didn't have time to prepare anything... for him.

I love the picture here and I also love the picture of younger Daisy that you put as your avatar before. I think she maybe had some ice cream or milk on her face. Such an adorable face. I gotta say that is my most favorite avatar seen in this forum.

Do give yourself enough time, okay? Cry if you feel like crying and don't hold yourself. Although it may seem impossible right now time will solve all this. Daisy's life on earth was too short, but you know that her life was filled with so much love.

Give lots of love to Bluebell too as I heard dogs have a grieving process as well.

Lots of "virtual" hugs from all of us, around the globe.


26th September 2007, 09:04 AM
Hugs coming your ways...
As everyone has said everyone grieves differently and everyones grief is different. I know 2 years on from Jake passing away that the wound is still as raw I think it always will be. Its so hard as you love them so much :(
Daisy really touched my heart she was just such a beautiful little girl, I hope oneday in the not too distant future you'll be able to smile when you think of her.
Lots of love from Australia,

26th September 2007, 06:02 PM
Emma How are you today?
---Aileen and the gang (Barney---Jazzie---Sam)

26th September 2007, 06:15 PM
Hi Aileen, thanks for asking. I am doing ok thanks. Some days are easier than others though. Bluebell is better now, she isn't barking like she was, and she seems to be more of a lap dog now, enjoying lots of kisses and cuddles.

27th September 2007, 08:12 PM
thinking of you and sending lots of hugs
gingers mum is right dogs do feel sad and miss their friends.Smudge lost a little friend 9 months ago now.Not mine but a neighbours black mongrel.She was special to him and last week he ran ahead in the park and across the brook was this little dog the image of lucy. When we got nearer he realised it wasnt her, stopped in his tracks and hung his head.He looked so sad I almost cried.Needless to say he got a huge hug and lots of extra love when we got home.
Obviously dogs do grieve just like us and it takes us all time to learn to move on but we never forget the pleasure our lost loved ones gave to us.

xxx smudges mum and lots of luv and licks from smudge

28th September 2007, 12:42 PM
Emma, when my little yorkie passed away in June 06 I missed him so much. Mixed in with that was a lot of guilt. When we first got him we both worked and the poor little baby didn't get the attention he should have. We should never have bought a pet with our lifestyle but once we loved him and he loved us we couldn't change that. However, it helped that during the last two years of Winston's life my husband was retired and he got a lot of time and attention. He lived until 14 too which was good.
Anyway, we moved two weeks after he passed away and that helped a lot. I didn't see him looking at me from the top of the stairs all the time. I didn't hear his little feet padding around all the time. During the move we did get rid of his toys etc because we fully intended not to get another pet.
Of course now we have Maddy and she brings so much joy to our lives. But we always think of Winston and miss him. We got Maddy six months afterwards and believe me there will never be any guilt with her! She is the most loved most spoilt dog I know.
Emma, please look after yourself and grieve in the way you want to.

Denise G.
28th September 2007, 05:42 PM
Thinking of you Emma--I hope you're feeling better today. :flwr:

3rd October 2007, 08:50 AM
Oh you poor love!!! I am so very sorry for your loss. You can be comforted in the fact that Daisy was loved to the full (and then some) whilst she was with you. thinking of you and big hugs xxx:(