View Full Version : broken heart
27th September 2007, 02:42 PM
27th September 2007, 03:42 PM
Hi there :hug:I'm so very sorry for the loss of your beloved mishka . She was with you for over a decade so it's no wonder that you feel her loss so deeply. The Vet said it was her time and you let her go peacefully - bless you for that unselfish gift :hug:there's no place for guilt :hug:
Why don't you come on here and tell us all about your beautiful girl and lets see if we can get through this together. There are so many people on here who know exactly what you are going through right now and we are all here for you :hug:
27th September 2007, 04:11 PM
I am so sorry to hear about your dog, and I can empathise with you completely. Even after losing my first B&T who I had for 15 years a few years ago, I still miss him, still get a pang in my heart wishing he was here.
He was old, and it was his time and we looked at one another and we both knew, and in that meeting of eyes we said our goodbyes. That moment I will never forget and I will carry that and all the happy memories I have of being together, from the first day I got him, until the last, and it's the happy times we had that make things a bit easier for me.
I also remember Sam, he was beautiful and stone deaf his whole life but so full of fun, he was never sad dog, no matter what was wrong with him. . Even when his heart was so enlarged, the vet said she didn't know how he was still alive, he sat on the table and still wagged his tail and gave kisses to everyone. He died the day after the treadmill test at the Cardiologists, but again, we are happy we had him for the 6 years we did, he brought us so much pleasure, with his quirks and wonderful personality. We are very happy he died with us at home.
These are the two Cav's we have lost in the past several years, they will never be forgotten and although we now have 5 others between my mum and me, they don't replace Sam or Raistlin because each dog is irreplacable to us.. they simply carry on giving us their own wonderful memories which will also live with us when they go.
I know it's hard now, I honestly do, and while time is a great healer in all things, it might help to realise you wouldn't be "replacing" your lost Mishka. If you went for a rescue Cav, you would be helping that dog recover from ill treatment and misery and giving it the love it might never have with someone who obviously has a lot of love to give.
27th September 2007, 04:16 PM
Hello and welcome to a wonderful community of caring Cavalier lovers. Claire L is right. You did the brave selfless thing for Mishy. It was hard, but it was right. Its okay to be sad about such a devastating loss. You have every right to grieve.
The question of when or I suppose even if you ever get another Cavalier is more complex. As you say, you can't replace Mishy. However, I ask you to consider what it says about the value of her love in your life if you chose to live the rest of your life without it. In some ways your love for Mishy would be reflected in the presense of another dog in your life. It would add to your store of good memories of Mishy and not subtract from them. Just something to think about.
One other thing, many people have found that writing about your departed companion helps. You can read many such stories on this website. I wrote one for my beloved Leisl. It's posted here, even though she was a mutt. It really did help. Write one for Mishy, let us share the joy you two had together and let us help you hold her in your memory and give us a chance to share in your sorrow. I truly believe it can help. Include your all time favorite picture of Mishy - that helps too.
One thing I learned from Mr. Spock - "the dead will never be gone as long as we remember them." That's our duty - to keep those we have loved with us in our memories. It can also be our joy - if you remember all thie times your little love made you smile and laugh, your smile and laughter will return. Once it has, you will see the question of another canine presence in your life in a clearer light.
27th September 2007, 05:59 PM
I understand the pain you are going thru. I too felt that way after recently losing my 9 year old Sasha. I now have a 10 year old ruby as well, and I know time is ticking for Sophie too.
To honor Sasha, I took approx. 6 photos of her and had them matted & framed. Her picture hangs in the living room, so everyone can always see it and what a beautiful girl she was. I was going to get some type of "rememberance" to honor her, and this turned out to be a really nice one esp. with her pictures at different times in her life.
There will never be another cavalier that will replace Mishy - but there are so many (esp. older/rescue cavs) that need a great wonderful home to live out their years. You will be surprised at how different they all are - yet still encompass the gentleness of the cavalier breed.
27th September 2007, 06:35 PM
Hello Mishy, i am so so sorry for your loss. You have come to the right place as everyone on this board is so kind and caring :flwr:
27th September 2007, 06:40 PM
I'm Still Here
Friend, please don't mourn for me
I'm still here, though you don't see.
I'm right by your side each night and day
and within your heart I long to stay.
My body is gone but I'm always near.
I'm everything you feel, see or hear.
My spirit is free, but I'll never depart
as long as you keep me alive in your heart.
I'll never wander out of your sight-
I'm the brightest star on a summer night.
I'll never be beyond your reach-
I'm the warm moist sand when you're at the beach.
I'm the colorful leaves when fall comes around
and the pure white snow that blankets the ground.
I'm the beautiful flowers of which you're so fond,
The clear cool water in a quiet pond.
I'm the first bright blossom you'll see in the spring,
The first warm raindrop that April will bring.
I'm the first ray of light when the sun starts to shine,
and you'll see that the face in the moon is mine.
When you start thinking there's no one to love you,
you can talk to me through the Lord above you.
I'll whisper my answer through the leaves on the trees,
and you'll feel my presence in the soft summer breeze.
I'm the hot salty tears that flow when you weep
and the beautiful dreams that come while you sleep.
I'm the smile you see on a baby's face.
Just look for me, friend, I'm everyplace!
I am so sorry for your loss
---Aileen and the gang(Barney---Jazzie---Sam)
27th September 2007, 07:58 PM
That is beautiful,
28th September 2007, 08:40 AM
I'm so sorry about Mishka. I'm sure she was a wonderful friend to you. It is hard to make the decision to put a dog to sleep but often it is the best and kindest choice. We had to make that decision in summer 2006 for Cassie so I know how you are feeling. Give yourself time to grieve and perhaps some day you may be ready to share your life with another beautiful cavalier.:hug:
28th September 2007, 08:17 PM
I am very sorry to read about Mishka. It is very difficult to lose a fur friend. Just try to take one day at a time, it will be hard, but you have to go on. She had a good life with you and you can feel good that she had such a great home with you and your family.
28th September 2007, 09:10 PM
I think the highest compliment we can pay a beloved pet we have lost is to invite another pet into our lives. Our love for that first special pet paves the way for the others which follow. If Gumbo and then Abby, both now at the Bridge, had not showed me the joy of being owned by a dog, I would never have opened my home to Hadley and Buddy. Of course, Ms. Abby, I am sure, is smiling down on me as she considers that it took two to take her place! (Claire L, I bet Rudee is thinking the same of Minnie Moo and Cara Mia!)
You will know when the time is right to add another dog to your life, whether it be a Cavalier or another breed or a rescue mix, but I bet it is soon.
29th September 2007, 10:50 AM
Of course, Ms. Abby, I am sure, is smiling down on me as she considers that it took two to take her place! (Claire L, I bet Rudee is thinking the same of Minnie Moo and Cara Mia!)
What a lovely thought Phyllis - Thankyou :flwr:
3rd October 2007, 02:42 PM
Don't be hard on yourself. It must have been a very difficult thing to do. Give yourself plenty of time to grieve.
4th October 2007, 08:16 AM
I am so sorry you feel that way, it's a very hard thing to have to deal with. I believe she would understand why you ran out.
It's absolutely devastating to have to go through something like that. Your pain and actions at the time are a reflection on how much you loved her, and are a completely normal reaction to have at the time and she would have known why you did what you did.
I don't have any kids, my Cavs and cats are my children and I love them every bit as much as most parents love their children, so I can totally empathise with how you feel.
I think too, that Mishka wouldn't want you to feel that you had done anything wrong. One thing I am sure of, Cav's are one of the most forgiving souls I have ever come across, having known some who have come from appalling circumstances, and watching them change from a frightened dog into one who trusts their new owner usually happens in an amazingly short time. So please find it in your heart to forgive yourself when you feel ready to.
Debby with a Y
4th October 2007, 01:07 PM
Oh, I wish I could just give you big hugs of comfort...please don't be hard on yourself. You gave her so many years of a loving home, and that is beautiful how you gave her those last happy months at the end. You have so much love to give and I hope you will get another cavalier. I too have lost pets and grieved greatly but it helps so much to put that energy into loving a new one. :hug:
4th October 2007, 04:32 PM
Please don't beat yourself up. We all deal with death in different ways. I'm sure you always put Mishka's needs first and you did the right thing by loving her enough to let her go. It's never easy but I can't imagine not having that truly unconditional love as part of my life. Each dog I've had over the years is different, but just as precious to me.
After my first Cavalier, Beatrice, was killed in an unfortunate accident, I thought I was going to need to be committed somewhere. My heart was broken. Not until I brought another dog into my life did I begin to heal. My grand daughter gave me the best insight, wise at 8 years old. Meghan told me that the first to greet us in heaven will be the animals we have loved and lost. She is sure I have so many Cavaliers now so that I'll have lots of company in heaven. She may be right.
You'll know when the time is right to find another Cavalier. Your heart will let you know.
Hugs from me and my girls to you.
4th October 2007, 05:50 PM
So sorry for your pain. Don't feel guilty I'm sure Mishka understood and knew how very much she was loved.
I had to have two dogs put to sleep in the past.One I got someone else to take to the vet and the other I stayed with because I felt guilty. I remember just saying goodbye to the first one and feeling guilty, but the second one I still feel guilty even though I was there. It's such a hard thing to have to do,but it's for the best and I'm sure our babies know that.
4th October 2007, 10:13 PM
You did just what I did with my first cavalier Mattie I just could not face seeing my beloved Mattie die so please dont beat your self up we all know how painful it is
---Aileen and the gang (Barney---Jazzie--Sam)
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