View Full Version : Upset and angry

11th January 2008, 01:08 PM
Hello everyone

I hope no one minds me posting this, I wanted to talk to people who would understand.

I was talking to some people at work about Lucy's treatment and we were laughing about the cost (because let's face it, what else is there to do?!). I was saying that it's likely her insurance will max out later this year, and then we'll have to pay for it all ourselves. It's not cheap (although I know you all know this!!!), it's £100 a month for her medication, and a cardiologist visit twice yearly ranges between £400-500. That's not including any extra little visits or whatever. But she's insured, and even when it runs out, we figure we work 2 jobs each, we don't live an extravagant lifestyle. But more than anything, we love her so much we would move mountains to treat her. I don't care if I have to work day and night and live on bread and water, my dog will have everything she needs. I'd do the same for my rabbits, or for a member of my family. I think if you have a pet, you take on all the responsibilities that go with that, and if you truly love them you will do all you can. I know for some people the finances are tough and I totally understand that there may come a point when it's just not possible to go any further. I do understand that, absoloutely. And I know those people love their pets as much as I do and that it must be devastating to have to give up simply because of money.

However, someone at work clearly couldn't understand this. One of the men kind of laughed and said, well if it came to that, that would be it. But he said, my wife's the same as you, and smiled as if to say, it's a nice thing you feel that way. But then one of the women in the office turned round and made a flippant comment to the effect of, there's no way she would pay for it, as far as she is concerned it would all be over, and more or less that she wouldn't care. I try not to judge people based on their opinions, I might not always agree but everyone is entitled to think what they like. Then she went on to say that she'd been brought up on a farm and when you're brought up that way, animals are just animals. Complete with dismissive look and shrugging of shoulders. That she wouldn't pay out that kind of money on a dog. I tried to keep my cool, and I told her that Lucy has given us 10 years of happiness and I could never deny her anything. I said that I couldn't look her in the face knowing that after all she's given us, I would give up just because I wasn't willing to spend the money.

But no, she couldn't understand that either. She said, oh it's different for you, you don't have family, so she is your family. I replied that it wouldn't matter if we did, I would still find the money somehow. So then she sneered and said, I'd rather keep the money for my grandchildren's health. (Bear in mind that in the UK all healthcare is covered by the NHS and costs us nothing).

It was the way she spoke, as if I was stupid and spending the money would be frivolous. Really looking down on me. And the tone of her voice was almost of disgust - sort of, why would you want to do that you stupid girl. The worst thing? She has a dog. All I can say is, I hope it never gets ill, because it won't get much sympathy from her.

I left the room before I burst into tears, ended up in the toilet, crying for 20 minutes. It just really hurt to be attacked for loving something and trying your best for it. We love our dog with all our hearts and souls and I don't love her on the condition that she's well and doesn't cost me money, I love her no matter what.

It was even more hurtful because I was really happy beforehand about the news we got from the cardiologist and it felt like a smack in the face.

Anyone else face this? How did you deal with it?

(and thanks for listening to me vent xx)

11th January 2008, 01:19 PM
i know how u feel and i have been there. in the early days my husband got made redundant and there were times we went short on food to feed our animals. ok it wasnt a dog but it meant the same.

i am not sorry i did it, and i would do it again. kudos for you for wanting to give your furbaby the best. remember if the time comes for your baby to go to the bridge you can do it knowing you gave your all. if more people were like you the world would be a better place not just for animals but for humans to.


11th January 2008, 01:22 PM

That awful, I have children but I would still do the same as you as our dogs are part of our family. Some people don't deserve to have animals and she clearly sounds like one of them!:mad:

Don't let people like that make you sad, you know that what you are doing for Lucy is the best thing and when you look into her eyes and give her a cuddle you will feel heaps better!:)

Sending you a big (((((((hug)))))))

11th January 2008, 01:32 PM
Try not to let it get to you.Remember, you don't have to justify your decision to anyone, this is your little dog who gave you so much happiness and if you can afford the treatments then it's noone else's business.
I often get accused of treating my dog like a child(not true) and yes, she gets a high standard of care compared to many other dogs, but I would not hesitate to pay for a medication to extend and improve her quality of life.
I know of a few people who wouldn't pay for a doctor's visit for their sick children, let alone a sick dog, but invariably these people are selfish and insensitive anyway.
It's impossible to put a financial value on a dog who brings so much to a family.My youngest child has asperger's syndrome, a very mild autistic spectrum disorder, but he was terrified of dogs and had no social skills or confidence a year ago.However after getting our little cavalier, he hand raised her and really connected with her- and she with him !The improvement is astounding, he now has a 100% normal life and even had the dog appear in his school play with him:)
So when the time comes to let your little pet go, you can hold your head up high and say that you repaid your debt to her and that you did everything possible for her.

Bruce H
11th January 2008, 01:37 PM
You can't let people like that get you down because you will run into them every now and then.

I think it was on this forum that someone posted something in response to "It's just a Dog". Does anyone else remember that? It was a series of comments directed to a person saying "It's just a dog". At any rate, one of the comments that really struck me was [If you understand the phrase "It's just a dog",you will also understand "It's just a friend"].

lady and amber
11th January 2008, 01:37 PM
I have been there with some one I work with, she`s not a pet owner had the nerve to say my dog`s were ugly, suffice to say I never speak to her anymore, you are doing your best for your dog that's what is important to you, too heck with what anyone else thinks.

11th January 2008, 02:19 PM
This is why I don't talk to non dog people about my dogs. you will always come across this type of person.
& if you ever stand in a shop / fair trying to raise money for rescue you will get even worse!

Some people just have to blurt out whatever comes into their heads & don't care about the other persons feelings , I really don't understand this mentality. whatever happened to manners ?

The way I see it some people spend £500 on a handbag or hundreds of thousands on a car. So whats so wrong with spending money on a dog that gives you a lot of joy & companionship. Its your money you can do what you want with it.

11th January 2008, 04:19 PM
We paid £1700 for our rescue schnauzer, Lila, to have her cataracts removed a few months ago and it has changed her life!! Especially as she was a puppy farm bitch before we got her. But people were really rude about it and my own brother wouldn't sponsor us because she was 'just a dog' and 'there were people in the third world with no food'. The thing is he doesn't give them any money either!!!

The older I get the more I realise that 'there's nought as wierd as folk' and that includes all of us who think our pets are worth the money!!

Ignore your collegue Elaine. She is clearly not in love with her dog like you are. And you are not doing anything wrong. If you spent the money on a TV or a holiday no one would say anything about it!!

I say well done to you for taking your responsibilities to Lucy seriously. She is a lucky lucky doggie!! xxx:luv:

11th January 2008, 04:23 PM
I have been there with some one I work with, she`s not a pet owner had the nerve to say my dog`s were ugly, suffice to say I never speak to her anymore, you are doing your best for your dog that's what is important to you, too heck with what anyone else thinks.

My god! was she blind? I've never heard such a stupid thing to say about a cavalier.

Makes you wonder what joy these people have in their own lives - my guess is none!

11th January 2008, 05:02 PM
I can never understand how some people can be so lacking in sensitivity and empathy. And so tactless too.

I find that since you can't change these people, it's best not to discuss these types of things with them. They will never understand & they'll even try to make you feel silly. Just ignore them, they're not worth it.

However, I totally understand where you're coming from! Our little Sasha is a full member of our family, and we would do whatever we had to do to insure her health and well-being. :dogwlk:

11th January 2008, 06:30 PM
[If you understand the phrase "It's just a dog",you will also understand "It's just a friend"].

I like that thought. Sums it up beautifully. :)

11th January 2008, 06:35 PM
Elaine don't worry about her she not worth it.

But no, she couldn't understand that either. She said, oh it's different for you, you don't have family, so she is your family. I replied that it wouldn't matter if we did, I would still find the money somehow. So then she sneered and said, I'd rather keep the money for my grandchildren's health. (Bear in mind that in the UK all healthcare is covered by the NHS and costs us nothing).
You should also point out that as you don't have kids you are paying for her grandchildren healthcare as well as their schooling and anything else they get for free from your taxes.

I posted this next bit before on another thread a year ago but it still holds true for me today.

Thankfully I only met a couple of twats like that, every one who knows me knows what I am like with animals and never question me over my commitment to them. They just think I’m mad like my great Uncle.

When my yorkie developed diabetes I had a couple of my brothers friends say to me ‘why bother’ when I told them I had to inject her every day. When I took SiânE on and people found out that I had two diabetic dogs they say ‘wow that’s unlucky to have two go down with it’.

They then go a bit red when I pointed out that I had took SiânE on because she had it.

SiânE in not disable in my eyes, I just have to stick a couple of needles in her everyday. They only take a few seconds and after three years of total love every day from her I know I got a great deal the day I took her on.

So when I met people like that (not often thank god) I just look at them with pity, cause they never know true unconditional love and I’m the lucky one cause I get shown it everyday.

11th January 2008, 08:22 PM
From time to time people tell me, "Lighten up, it's just a dog," or, "That's a lot of money for just a dog." They don't understand the distance traveled, the time spent or the costs involved for "just a dog."

Some of my proudest moments have come about with "just a dog."

Many hours have passed and my only company was "just a dog," but I did not once feel slighted.

Some of my saddest moments have been brought about by "just a dog," and, in those days of darkness, the gentle touch of "just a dog" gave me comfort and reason to overcome the day.

If you, too, think it's "just a dog," then you will probably understand phases like "just a friend," "just a sunrise," or "just a promise."

"Just a dog" brings into my life the very essence of friendship, trust, and pure unbridled joy.

"Just a dog" brings out the compassion and patience that makes me a better person.

Because of "just a dog" I will rise early, take long walks and look longingly to the future.

So for me, and folks like me, it's not "just a dog" but an embodiment of all the hopes and dreams of the future, the fond memories of the past and the pure joy of the moment.

"Just a dog" brings out what's good in me and diverts my thoughts away from myself and the worries of the day.

I hope that someday they can understand that it's not "just a dog" but the thing that gives me humanity and keeps me from being "just a human."

So the next time you hear the phrase "just a dog." just smile....because they "just don't understand."

- Anonymous

take no notice she will never understand

Aileen and the gang (Barney---Jazzie---Sam)

11th January 2008, 09:20 PM
Reading your posts have made me feel so much better. Thank you so much for taking the time to post, I appreciate it very much. xx

Amy - thank you so much. I see in your siggy you want to give a forever home to a cav one day - when you do, it will be a very lucky dog. :)

Cavvygirl - I took your advice and got a big hug from the Lucy Dog. It made me feel a lot better and made me remember why no matter what anyone says, hubby and I are doing the right thing. Thank you x

Sins - wow your dog and son sound amazing. It just shows what a dog and boy together can accomplish. And you are so right, it's about repaying a debt, as much as it's about love. Although with all she's given us, this is nothing in comparison (which was kind of the point I was trying to make to my colleague, she just couldn't get it).

Bruce - you are so right!!! :)

Lynne - an ugly dog doesn't exist. Even scruffy or slightly unusual looking dogs are beautiful!!! Now ugly people, that's a different matter - there are plenty of folks out there who are ugly on the inside, no matter what they look like outside.

AT - you are absoloutely right. I have no idea what's happened to people. And the laugh is, I don't have a car, I get my haircut twice a year (less than Lucy as it happens!!), I don't have lots of clothes, shoes or bags, hubby doesn't have a car either ... so I just don't get it. It's not like anyone else is going without so that Lucy can have, the only people going without are hubby and I!

Theresa - thank you :) Your dog sounds lucky to have you too! How often do you get the chance to change a life for £1700? And the third world comment - LOL - if your dog didn't get her cataracts removed, the £1700 wouldn't have fed the hungry anyway!! Our families feel the same as we do about Lucy (they all fell in love with her too!), I think if we needed it our families would pay for it, rather than see her go without. When I tell my Mum about this, I think she'll freak. LOL.

cb2u - you're absoloutely right. The thing is, someone I spoke to the other day about it really understood - she was very sympathetic and understanding, and she doesn't even have a dog! Yet someone who does, just didn't have it in them to understand. It's sad.

Davy - when I calmed down, that's exactly what I thought. How sad that despite owning a dog, she's never experienced the warmth and love that we have. What a waste of an opportunity. And I totally know what you mean about a great deal - despite the stress, worry (and future expense!!), Lucy was such a bargain. She'd have been a bargain at ten times the price. What she's brought to us in the last ten years simply can't be measured, especially in money.

Aileen - thank you so much for posting that, it's absoloutely bang on. (And I love your siggy - it's perfect).