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murphy's mum
28th February 2008, 07:04 PM
I feel a little annoyed at the moment:mad:, I've just had a heated discussion with a 'friend' of mine about Murphy. My O/H and I are wanting to get a second Cavalier soon now that Murphy has matured. I mentioned it in passing to my friend, who reacted with complete disbelief. He then proceed to list everything Murphy and the two of us do wrong, and how wrong it would be to add to the family:eek:.

I disagree, but then wonder if I seen things in our household with rose coloured glasses? Don't get me wrong I know Murphy is far from perfectly behaved, but to us he really is perfect. Not in the sense that I feel we let him away with murder or anything.

Do you think Murphy is dominant? He sleeps on the bed between us, he's allowed on the couch when he wants, he gets the run of the house, he jumps up to greet us when we come home sometimes. BUT none of these thing bother us, we have chosen to let him do these thing.

When I stroke his chest he will normally lay his paw across my arm, is this him 'ruling' me? I was told it was a sure sign of dominance over us. I feel so confused:confused: If he does something wrong and he gets told off he puts his tail low and then shuffles over all apologetic. The few occasions I've shouted at him he has lay down and shown his belly.

He pulls on the lead, but I believe this was due to us having an extending lead, and never really working hard to get him to walk correctly(totally our fault). This is something we are going to work on. We normally walk him off the lead are we have loads of good off road place to walk, and his recall is 95% good. To the point where he likes to chase birds but he does(95%) come as soon as called.

As I said far from perfect, but apart from the lead thing, nothing bothers us, should it? Do we let him away with murder? Please give me honest opinions no matter how harsh

cricket865
28th February 2008, 07:14 PM
Bottom line it's your house and your dog! You can feed him caviar every night and give him a massage, if that makes you happy! Does your friend have any pets? Sounds like envy to me. IMHO

WoodHaven
28th February 2008, 07:17 PM
IF experts can't make a guide to help raise children (that they all agree with),,,, what makes anyone think there is only one way to live with a dog???

Can YOU live with YOUR dogs faults. (IF you are pulling out your hair-- then your friend may be right). If you like that your dog feels comfortable to be on your couch (they are comfort spaniels-- hard to do from the floor!! they were also bred to be lap warmers on trips).

My cavaliers lounge on couches, sleep on beds-- I share MY food with them-- NOT one of my dogs thinks it is dominant over ME, MY HUBBY, or even MY two year old grandson.

??? IF he has a toy or chew(a high value item to him)-- can you take it from him??? IF he allows you to take a high value item- that is a good sign that you are in charge. JMO

zizzi
28th February 2008, 07:20 PM
Well -- I'm not an experienced dog owner. Pickles is our first dog and your life with Murphy sounds a lot like our life with Pickles. And, like you, I don't really have a problem with her behaviour. She's basically fantastic and sweet and compliant. The few times I've had to scold her, she responds in almost the same way as Murphy.

Some of our friends might feel that Pickles needs training but basically I'm happy with her. I guess it's like having children. What's the old saying..."if you want to have perfect children, give them to someone else to raise." Well... everyone knows how you should train your dog but you have to trust yourself and your instincts too.

Good luck.

Barbara Nixon
28th February 2008, 07:22 PM
For a male dog, having his chest tickled is a bit of an erotic thing, as that area is rubbed when mounting a bitch. It's hard to tell how he will be with another dog, as he may be willing to share or may defend his privilidges against a newcomer.

Monty is a softie, so when Izzy came along and quietly took over as main dog,he didn't mind. When we got Joly, who is a little thick dog languagewise, there were a few spats, as Izzy never liked him. Monty has never been a cuddler and only sleeps on the bottom of the bed or on the floor, but Izzy would growl if Joly dared lie in his place, by my side.

Now Izzy is gone, Joly sleeps in his place and I think we may have had fights had Teddy not been denied the bed (he sleeps in a crate) because he tried to takeover, dogs and humans, at about 18 months, so had to be put in his place.

I have a laid back dog,one who wants to be boss and one who doesn't know when he's pushing it, so i have to keep on top of things. eg No bed sharing , separate food and certainly no throwing food for a free for all.

murphy's mum
28th February 2008, 08:33 PM
??? IF he has a toy or chew(a high value item to him)-- can you take it from him??? IF he allows you to take a high value item- that is a good sign that you are in charge. JMO

We can take food, chews or toys off him no problem:). We do play tug of war, when he growls and barks like a nutter, but his tails wags the whole time. And when I tell him 'easy, calm down' to signal game over he'll go and play on his own.

As for how he'd be with another dog, when we picked up Hammer AKA Sam from Stranraer last year, Murphy loved it. There was no issue with a strange dog coming in and laying on 'his' couch or eating treats beside him.

You'd think the way he went on I had created a monster. I mean it's not like Murphy bites people or destroys my house(apart from chewing the corner of my kitchen cupboard when he was about 6months:rolleyes:)

frecklesmom
28th February 2008, 08:50 PM
This person sounds "old school"-strict disciplinarian type. Don't think these dogs belong in the K9 core, they're too "in love" with people. Murphy sounds as if he's a sweet Cav rounding out your family as he was meant to do. You have the rules in your house-not your friend. You'll get another sweet one and one of them will be in charge but overall you will be the total charge-don't worry about your friends concepts, maybe he'd like a book on the modern way of training dogs :).

rosiesmum
28th February 2008, 09:05 PM
Murphy sounds exactly like Rosie.

She sleeps on the bed next to me, she's lying sleeping on the sofa next to me right this minute (and lies up here whenever she wants), she has the run of the house (not that it is very big anyway) and she jumps up to greet me when I come home - I certainly would not want her any other way.

It sounds like your friend is either jealous that you have such a close bond with Murphy or she just doesn't like dogs.

Either way, getting another dog is YOUR CHOICE, not hers and don't let her tell you any different. As you've mentioned, Murphy got on well with another dog in his 'domain', so if you feel ready for it, go for it.

Does your friend have a dog? If she does, what is their relationship like? It would be interesting to know how they are together.

Brian M
28th February 2008, 09:11 PM
Hi
Sounds to me like hes a typical cavalier, he is royalty after all.

niki
28th February 2008, 09:29 PM
all the things you are saying seem quite typical of cavvie behaviour they have a great way of wrapping us around their paws - and thats why we love them

you don't have a problem with your dog it sounds like your both getting what you need from the relationship and cavaliers are usually so laid back and adaptable.
you might have a problem if you were to allow a dominant breed the luxuries you allow murphy but you dont so just enjoy and if you want a second dog only you can decide when its right

good luck:paw:

Cathryn
28th February 2008, 09:34 PM
First of all want to echo what Sandy has already said, from your reply and description of Murphy he is a happy, well adjusted and totally normal Cavalier!! You can take things from him, he knows when he is in the wrong, my answer would be NO you have not raised a monster!!

Cavaliers positively THRIVE on Human Companionship, yes they enjoy the company of other Cavaliers and dogs in general, but it is their Humans that they enjoy the most!!

Personnally speaking as a breeder I would be more than happy to home one of my precious babies with you should you approach me! Sadly the person who "lectured" you obviously does not understand the true nature of Cavaliers, their loss not yours!! JMHO

Elaine 2
29th February 2008, 12:53 AM
Murphy sounds a great little fella, l think your friend could be jealous

Cathy T
29th February 2008, 01:19 AM
BUT none of these thing bother us, we have chosen to let him do these thing.



That's the bottom line....are you okay with what you allow him to do? Then enough said. Jake and Shelby are allowed on the furniture, if they ask me to play....I play. They are spoiled rotten but they aren't rotten.

Sounds like you need to tell your friend to mind his own beeswax. ;) Sounds like Murphy is just fine.

murphy's mum
29th February 2008, 12:39 PM
Does your friend have a dog?

He has a Doberman, who is no angel, it's very over-protective.

Thanks for all your kind words I feel much better about it all today:D

Once my wedding is out the way in June we're definatley going to start looking for a brother or sister for Murphy:rah: We would like a Tri or a B&T, although we went looking for a Tri and came home with Murphy the last time:rolleyes:

DonniePuppyBear
29th February 2008, 03:29 PM
Sounds like Donnie too. I get different reactions from my friends. Some say he is unruly and others think he is great..the latter opinion usually from dog lovers. He's quite wild but he knows when I clap my hands he has pushed it too far and he needs to relax. As long as you are happy...

sramirez
29th February 2008, 06:11 PM
All the things you listed sound typical at my house! Perhaps other folks don't realize that King Charles spaniels ARE royalty. Some traits were just never bred out of them!

(at my house;however, we have all "queen" spaniels and boy do they know it!!) We even have one that knows she is a DIVA princess!!

Sheri

merlinsmum
29th February 2008, 07:20 PM
all the things you are saying seem quite typical of cavvie behaviour they have a great way of wrapping us around their paws - and thats why we love them

you don't have a problem with your dog it sounds like your both getting what you need from the relationship and cavaliers are usually so laid back and adaptable.
you might have a problem if you were to allow a dominant breed the luxuries you allow murphy but you dont so just enjoy and if you want a second dog only you can decide when its right

good luck:paw:

I agree here too :)

Mine do exactly what Murphy does. They know who is boss - boss feeds them, boss takes them walks, boss dictates bed time, boss owns all toys and spaces on the sofa.

I couldn't imagine not snuggling on the sofa with my two and I sure would miss the jumping up "Mummy we've missed you" antics and as for snoozing on the bed - you friend is just jealous that she does not have a personal mobile hot water bottle:D

Yvonne117
29th February 2008, 09:50 PM
Murphys mum everytime I see your Avitar picture it reminds me of my Harvey.http://farm1.static.flickr.com/124/345536386_b615045463.jpg

Cathy Moon
29th February 2008, 11:20 PM
I had a feeling your friend owned a guard dog. She doesn't understand the differences between the two breeds! :)

I don't think you have anything to worry about. When you do get a second dog or puppy, you might want to use an x-pen for awhile at first to allow your boy his space and let him adjust to the newcomer at his own speed. And if you get a second adult cavalier, you might want to read some of the Patricia McConnell booklets so you can manage their relationship for awhile, if needed.

Your little boy sounds like my cavaliers too - no need to worry - she just doesn't know the breed. :)

pippa
29th February 2008, 11:48 PM
Don't get me wrong I know Murphy is far from perfectly behaved, but to us he really is perfect. Not in the sense that I feel we let him away with murder or anything.

he's allowed on the couch when he wants, he gets the run of the house, he jumps up to greet us when we come home sometimes. BUT none of these thing bother us, we have chosen to let him do these thing.


He pulls on the lead,

As I said far from perfect,



Sounds a bit like Pippin,he's my fiesty 4 yr old but small and puppy like, Gus is kind of the same as well but they both know where the boundries lie and that I am boss and in my absence who ever is at home is boss.I would't worry about what your friend says.Come on here before and when you get your new doggy and there will be plenty of advice.Good luck!

murphy's mum
1st March 2008, 10:43 AM
Murphys mum everytime I see your Avitar picture it reminds me of my Harvey.http://farm1.static.flickr.com/124/345536386_b615045463.jpg


http://i145.photobucket.com/albums/r215/icklp360/P1020004.jpg
They are both gorgeous big lads aren't they:D

niki
1st March 2008, 05:50 PM
What lovely handsome boys and very similar looking.
Hope your feeling better about what your pal said - he is thinking that Murphy should be treated and trained the same as a guard dog - i agree with others he simply doesn't understand the difference in the two breeds.

Both mine do all the stuff Murphy does and we wouldn't have it any other way either. I've never regretted getting a second dog and if money and space would allow i'd have at least two more (i want a Ruby and a B&T;))

Yvonne117
1st March 2008, 09:37 PM
Murphys mum, another thing I have noticed is they both have that funny coloured nose. Everbody laughs at the size of Harvey especially next to Alfie who happens to be extra small.

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1211/931176435_9c992281be.jpg

Caraline
2nd March 2008, 03:41 AM
Hey, if you encourage him on the lounge & on the bed, then that is not a sign that he is dominant. It is simply a sign that you like your dogs on the bed & on the lounge. Now if the situation were that when you told him to get off, he growled at you, that would be a different matter.

I mean, this is a little Cavalier for goodness sake. He's not likely to turn into Cujo & start ripping throat out is he.

:D Multiple dog families are happy families... in my humble opinion.

babs
2nd March 2008, 07:52 PM
Hey dont be worried he's your dog living in your house abiding by your rules :) if your happy with murphys behaviour and he's happy with your rules what's the problem! dont let your friend tell you any different . to me it sounds as if he is just envious of your relationship with murphy:mad:
Is he the owner of a dog that gets left in the backyard all the time and gets no attention whatsoever ?
Ive had people tell me its wrong to have a dog sleep in their bed,others that say Alex is a "rat" not a dog cos he so small and yet these people have NO pets at all :mad::mad::mad: they make my blood boil ...theyre just jealous
You get as many cavs as you like its you after all that looks after them:dogwlk: theyre such a posh dog and we are proud owners of them all:D:D

WoodHaven
2nd March 2008, 08:03 PM
Hey, I used to have my parents and acquaintances tell me how 'pampered' my human DAUGHTERS were (oh and still are). It is VERY easy to pamper those in your lives that are a JOY. <Both daughters tested in the top 3% in the country for their age/grade, their behavior was extremely good - even through the teen years>. If things are going well-- don't change a thing.

My furry kids are pampered and I've had people say if they had to be reincarnated as an animal-- they'd want to come back as one of my dogs

babs
2nd March 2008, 08:11 PM
Yes :D you refer to them as your daughters :D:D:D:D