View Full Version : Feeling sad and not sure what to do...
29th February 2008, 10:26 PM
Although this is a cavalier site it is my minature schnauzer who I really need your advice on! I adopted Lila in October from a rescue. She was a breeding bitch and was blind. We did lots of fund raising and had her cataracts removed in November. She is a great little dog. Really busy and fun. She is obviously excited to be free and to be able to see. However the down side is that she is very scared particularly of traffic, noises and men. She also barks madly whenever anyone comes near the front door. Which is often!
She was responding well to dog listening techniques but then I finished medical school and started work. Some days I work 13 hours and she was going to my parents house with my daughter but because she is so scared of my dad she barked constantly at him and he refuses to have her now. My neighbours are complaining about her barking. When I am off for a few days, I can get her calm again and even taking treats off my dad, but then it all falls apart when I go back to work.
It is hard for my daughter too because she has to stay home with them which means she is alone from end of school till 9.30 at night (she is 14). When we just had Missy she would take her round to a friends house but Lila is a bit more difficult cos she barks at the dads! So she's not so welcome! Also it is harder to get people to have the 2 of them.
I feel she needs someone home more but I am struggling to make the final decision. Although she is causing me such anxiety and worry she is so sweet and I can't bare the thought of not having her here. I have become so attached to her. I want her to be happy but I can't bare the idea of her being in a new home wondering where we are and feeling confused. I am at a loss and need some knowledgeable advice...
29th February 2008, 11:34 PM
I'm sorry i don't have any behavioural advice or suggestions as to what you should do but just wanted to post to say how sorry i am that you have found yourself in this situation and appreciate how hard it must be for you. Only you can know what the right thing to do is but I am certain that whatever decision you make will be in the best interests of your dog. Sending you lots of hugs!:hug:
29th February 2008, 11:38 PM
I don't really have any great advice either, but do you think she might be more comfortable with another dog? Just a thought...good luck! :flwr:
1st March 2008, 12:04 AM
So sorry you're going through this. Have you contacted the rescue that you adopted her from? I'm thinking they could make some suggestions. Or perhaps you could contact an APDT certified dog trainer. It sounds like you've put a lot of energy into helping her, and now it's time to ask for outside help. Please let us know how it goes. :hug: Thinking of you. :flwr:
1st March 2008, 12:53 AM
No advice to offer sorry,just feel for you and the situation.I am sure whatever decision you make will be the right one for you all.Best of luck,I am sure things will work out for you try not to stress too much.
1st March 2008, 05:08 AM
Have you tried a DAP (http://www.petsuppliesdelivered.com/single_product_display.cfm?id=10880&) in your parents (or your) house?
Could your parents keep her in a separate room and just check on her several times a day until she adjusts to them?
2nd March 2008, 09:07 PM
Thanks everyone. I have bought some anti-anxiety meds for Lila (it's L-tryptophan ie dog anti depressant !!). She was great with my dad today - taking treats and not barking. But she starts as soon as I am not there. I am going to talk to the dog listening people again. It's just that they charge £150 which is a little much at the present time!! But if they think they can help then, of course, I'll pay it.
I spoke to the rescue. They were incredibly sympathetic and not at all judgemental which was my fear. They said they would advertise her for me. I feel very sad about this and hope no-one comes forward!! I have already spoken to and discounted one man!! I might see if there is someone who can have her in the day. Missy (the cav) doesn't seem to mind so much when I am out!!!
4th March 2008, 03:01 PM
How about trying the calming cd that some of the US mebers recommend ?
4th March 2008, 08:15 PM
Also: I think you need to get her out and into a class, and work to train her so she is more confident and able to stay on her own.
Given the 13 hour work days though -- and her special needs -- this probably isn't going to work for her or you unless she is able to go to your parents. She needs training and work that go beyond simple basics. The think about training as well is -- someone has to be there to do it. She will not change at all or learn new behaviours if no one is there to work with her for 8-13 hours a day. Really, it is going to have to be your parents who are willing to take on the task of training and working with her.
I'd also suggest contacting breed club breed rescue for schnauzers. I have a UK schnauzer contact -- TKC on this board worked with an excellent UK breeder to get her Boomer -- so I'd suggest PMing TKC (Tara) who is herself a certified trainer to see if her breeder might be able to help.
Many rescue dogs especially ex breeding dogs or those with existing behaviour problems, really are really not the best candidates to go to homes with full time workers -- they do need a special level of consistent attention for at least their first year or two and often, for their lifetime.
4th March 2008, 09:33 PM
is she a Many Tears dog, Theresa? If so, I think you need to talk to Sylvia if you find you need to rehome, as you'll be under contract to do so.
I hope you find a solution for you both :).
5th March 2008, 12:23 AM
Thanks Misty. I have spoken to Sylvia (via her foster coordinator). I have bought them some new toys and I am talking to my dog walker about having them for the afternoon when I am on a long day. I have also been reading up on alarm barking so I have blocked the view of the front window and leave the radio on for distraction!!
I realise this is not an ideal situation for Lila and if someone comes along who really is better then it would be in her best interests to go to them. But this is hard because she is my daughters dog and we are both really fond of her. And although we are away a lot, it is still better than she had before and that many other abused dogs experience. I will, of course, however, try to put her first and I never expected to be in this situation when we adopted her. Thanks to all those who answered. :)
6th March 2008, 09:07 AM
Poor little thing. It sounds like she has had a rough time at some stage. I agree with Karlin that some training would be great for socialising. Sometimes people thinkg "obedience" is only for unruly dogs, but not so. Obedience training is wonderful for socialising and just having fun.
At my club there is a lovely gentleman who brings his little rescue girl. She is an x-breeder & was absolutely terrified of everything. This man who is so gentle & lovely, persevered for months with her and it really warmed my heart at the last training session, she actually wandered over to Sonny & Beau and initiated some interaction with them. This was the first time ever. It nearly made my heart burst.
6th March 2008, 09:32 PM
That is so cute!! Well done him for persevering. Fingers crossed for Lila - the new regime seems to be working!!
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