View Full Version : my son is upset

2nd March 2008, 11:04 PM
we got our pup 3 weeks ago and he's great apart from everytime my son walks in the room he growls and barks he seems frightened of him yet he will chase after my son in play. my pup is 5 months old my son is 17 he is mildly autistic and wonder if he can sense something from him. my son is getting really upset about this and i would like to mend it someway any suggestions:(

2nd March 2008, 11:09 PM
That's hard. Maybe if your son gave him a small treat every time he came into the room your pup would associate his entrance as a very good thing. Think the pup is a bit scared of this other person (your boy) and hasn't put it together that you're all his family.

2nd March 2008, 11:20 PM
My Maverick is now just about a year old and I'm had him for 6 months and still won't let anyone come up to him and pet him except me. Not even my husband. I would try treats, it's been helping me. Your puppy might be scare since he's in a new home.

Barbara Nixon
3rd March 2008, 11:07 AM
A couple of members have autistic children, so will probably be able to advise you.

3rd March 2008, 05:19 PM
thanks for your replies its much appreciated

3rd March 2008, 10:08 PM

Both my son's are profoundly Autistic and in all honesty they both adore the dogs but are quite heavy handed with them which is tolerated (to the point of martyrdom in some cases!) by the dogs. Personnally would advise to go the giving a treat route too, and also recommend very gently explaining to your son that not all dogs take to every-one at once and that it could be your young lad is picking up on his feelings and reacting to them?? HTH??

4th March 2008, 08:35 PM
he came home from school today and handed him a treat which he took but later he still had a little growl i guess it will just take time thanks for your tips

cavi lover
4th March 2008, 08:50 PM

My daiughter is autistic and great with the dogs. However she does need guidance and reminders about their needs .The dogs love her and I am sure given time it will be the same for your son.
Try getting him involved indirectly like buying the food .Let him prepare it and give it to your puppy so that your son is seen as the bearer of good things.
Try not too worry as it is very early days settling your pup.Any tension will be felt by your son and the puppy.

My attitude with both my daughter and the dogs is to be as laid back as you can be but have firm but kind boundaries. It seems to work well in creating a happy home [well most of the time].

Hope that is of some help if not sorry and ignore me!

Julie and gang.

5th March 2008, 02:40 AM
Could it be simply that your son is very tall and is looming over a tiny Cavalier pup - possibly also moving too fast? Maybe if your son was to totally ignore the pup, and sit down somewhere low (ie on the floor) so that he seems less frightening. Treat when the pup approaches of its own accord.

5th March 2008, 10:45 AM
yes he is rather tall and does and does move rather quickly towads him which i have said to him but that is just the way louis is i dont think i could change him he was playing in the garden with him the other day and although louis thought he was playing with him our dog vegas was actually running scared from him i guess it will just take time hopefully he'll get used to him:xfngr:

Cathy Moon
5th March 2008, 12:05 PM
Allowing the puppy to be frightened by him will only make matters worse. I would try to manage their relationship for awhile under close supervision.

5th March 2008, 12:51 PM
can you get your son to walk the dog, even if it is with your supervision.

That way your pup would not have a choice of his close company - which helps him get used to your son. Also, this would help your pup see him as a pack member.

5th March 2008, 01:30 PM
he just got his last jag on monday so haven't really been out with him he's just been in the back garden on saying that i've taken him out a few times just to the end of the street and back but he's not been on a lead before and just freezes and wont budge he always wants to sniff in peaple's gardens and when i gently pull him he wont walk anymore. when can i take him out properly the vet never told me and i forgot to ask as i was upset, is it still a few weeks

Barbara Nixon
5th March 2008, 03:44 PM
Please don't put your puppy down on the ground, outside your premises, for a couple of weeks yet, as though he has had his vaccination, it will not be fully active, yet. Did your vet not mention this ?

When you do take him out, he will not need proper walks for some time. Too much exercise , at a young age, causes the bones to grow incorrectly and you end up with a dog whose legs are too long..

5th March 2008, 03:58 PM
Just some thoughts for others who may be considering adding a dog to a home with a child or other family member with special needs. Consider getting an older puppy or even an adult. My brother Michael is developmentally disabled. He works (in a supervised setting) but could not live independently (and in fact lives with me). Our Buddy is actually his dog, the first he has ever had, registered to him and paid for with his own money. Although Michael loves puppies, I intentionally did not get a young puppy because I knew Michael could be more involved in the care of the dog right away if we got a young adult instead of a puppy. We would also be able to see with a little more accuracy the dog's personality. My idea was to get a dog close to a year old, who was laid back but not shy, loving but not overly exuberant, playful but not demanding and housebroken. Althought I was prepared to wait, I got lucky. After talking to several breeders, explaining what I was looking for and about Michael, we had homes visits (for four days) with Buddy who was then six months and another Cavalier was then one year old. During the visit Michael choose his Buddy, a fact of which he is very proud. Having a puppy who was a little older worked very well for us. We avoided some of the frustrations of puppies (although we did also miss some of the joys) and although I was careful to supervise, I was not concerned with Michael being able to cope with most of what Buddy needed in terms of care, walks and play. That said, bonding is a funny thing and Buddy, who is now three years old, looks to Michael like a favorite older brother and to me as his human Mom. A little off topic, but food for thought.