Am I too worried?

Our ruby (Molly) is now 1½ years old. She is our first dog, and also our "baby", since we don't have any children.
I have always tried to relax and spurned other people who were too anxious about either their children or their dogs, but now it has hit me right back.
I am really careful what I let Molly do. She is totally fearless, and she runs straight after strangers, bikes, cars or trucks if she is not on a leash. Of course our back garden is fenced, and there she can run freely, but our front garden is open out to the road.
I have tried to teach her free walking on dog school, but she simply is too curious to be trusted. Frankly, she is not to be trusted!
Therefore we always walks her with a leash.
Now we are going on a 4 day trip later this summer. My sis-in-law will take care of Molly. We completely trust her, she has had a dog herself for many years and was very careful to train and nurse her.
BUT - she is now talking about teaching Molly to walk free, when she is with her. I am horrified that something will happen to Molly, so will have to state very strongly that I will not allow it.
This is the first thing - should I just let my sis-in-law try?

Secondly, another family member has a tiny male dog, and the two dogs will in the future both have to be brought along for family gatherings (we live far from each other). BUT: the male dog is nice (mixed cavalier and other small breed) - but totally and madly in love with Molly. He is not neutered, so he is constantly trying to hump her. I won't allow it, even though she is spayed, I find it annoying and groce to watch all the time. So far I have managed to keep him away from her, but it has been close calls. This weekend I had Molly in a leash, and he was also tied up, so they only could sniff and talk. My husband and father in law agree with me that they should not be allowed to mate (even though Molly is not that interested). But I feel that everybody else thinks I am hysterical. I would love to propose a neutering for the male, since he is not going to be used for breeding anyway, but I just KNOW that it will be taken the wrong way. I just foresee many years to come with family gatherings where my task is to prevent mating!
What do other people do?

Thirdly, I am not that keen on letting the children play alone with Molly. I don't mind when it is girls or just ONE boy, but we have two nephews who seperately are wonderful, together a match made in hell I mean that in the most positive way, but for instance I wouldn't let them play football with Molly without watching them. I had horrible pictures of a sudden kick towards a dog mistaken for a ball, so I only let the play with me watching.

But: All those things make me think that I maybe am too hysterical and anxious? Am I in my right to be so careful, or do you have any advice for me to relax more?

ourempire said:

BUT - she is now talking about teaching Molly to walk free, when she is with her. I am horrified that something will happen to Molly, so will have to state very strongly that I will not allow it.
This is the first thing - should I just let my sis-in-law try?

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No, absolutely not! I am sure your sister's heart is in the right spot, but it is not her place to make these decisions. My dogs are all excellent at recall & staying by my side, but I will never, ever walk them off leash in an area that has vehicles or other dangers. What is the point?

I just foresee many years to come with family gatherings where my task is to prevent mating!

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As your girl is spayed, it is unlikely that the intact male would mate with her, though I could not say for sure if it is impossible. Other's may be able to answer that part. What I can tell you though is that humping is often more about dominance rather than sex. The dogs go through the motions of mounting but there is no penetration.

The owner of the male dog should really stop him from doing this as it can result in dog fights & of course some people find it offensive to watch.

Just as a matter of interest, when I had multiple girl dogs, they too would all hump each other. Sometimes it was just play & nobody minded, but other times it was more about dominance & was annoying to the other girl.

Thirdly, I am not that keen on letting the children play alone with Molly.

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I think you are very wise in this. Cavaliers are only little dogs & a child can easily inflict a nasty injurity, pain & fear by not thinking through what they are doing. I've seen so many small children acting in a spiteful manner with puppies & kittens that frankly, I don't trust them. Of course not all children are like this but I've seen enough to know that just because mum thinks little Johnny is sweet & caring, doesn't mean he is when she is not looking.

All those things make me think that I maybe am too hysterical and anxious? Am I in my right to be so careful, or do you have any advice for me to relax more?

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Well I don't think you are hysterical. You are simply aware of what can go wrong, and you don't want it to. Molly is your dog and you have the right to protect her from harm & to request that other people do not put her in harms way.

Ok... first of all, I dont think you are being hysterical or unreasonable at all!

First point: off lead walking.
It is your dog and you say what goes! Your sister in law is probably full of good intentions but maybe just let her know that you feel very uncomfortable about the whole thing which is making you worry about going away, and thats not what you want.
Like Caraline, my dog is great with her recall and stays by my side. I just see no reason in teaching her to walk by my side off leash in areas with cars etc, as there is no point in it whatsoever. As long as the dog has been trained to walk nicely on the lead... you barely feel the dog on the end of the lead, so I dont feel like I, or the dog, would be missing out on anything! Let her know thats how you feel.

Second point: Humping.
I walk pretty much everyday with quite a number of people from my Dog School, and we walk as a pack, in a lovely area away from roads etc, and all off lead. Thankfully the dogs are well trained, but like all dogs, there are often dominance issues, and sometimes the males try and hump other males. Granted, most dogs are larger than Holly, and none have really paid her such attention, but I fully sympathise with you in that I wouldnt like to see it. I would almost feel like the dog was tormenting or pestering Holly. When I think it about it, I really end up humanizing her... which is not what I usually do... dogs are dogs, and in all packs there are dominance issues. Humping to us will always be sexual!

Thirdly: supervising children.
As Caraline said, very wise. Im always rather wary with children. There are only two youngsters in my family... two little cousins who are 7 and 10. None of them are allowed to even touch Holly unless I am there. They know this is the rule, and has been from the start! Holly doesnt seem that fond of kiddies, and I am more than happy with that. Children do tend to be a bit rough, albeit mostly unintentional. But you know what kiddies are like when they see little Cavs... they look like little cuddly toys and children dont know their own strength sometimes. Its in the interest of all parties that I dont let my cousins play with Holly and they are only allowed to pet her if she goes to them. They can pet her, give her a treat, and thats it.... no lifting or anything!!!! That sounds really harsh I know, but I want all experiences with children to be good ones.

Hmm I havent half rambled on here, have I?! Apologies.

But I hope you feel a bit better, and realise that you arent being hysterical... just cautious and sensible, in my opinion.

I too am very protective over my Maverick.

I would never let someone else try to teach my dog to walk off leash unless it was in a large fenced area. Not to mention it's always safer to walk with the dog on a leash because you don't know what will scare them

Humping... wow is that can get annoying real quick if the dog continues to try.

I too never let more then one kid around Maverick because he gets crowed real easy.

Well said by everyone above. Just wanted to say I don't think you are being anxious or hysterical at all! All of your thoughts and feelings are valid.

Thank you everybody. I found your comments most helpful, and I am so glad that I can use your comments. As for the humping part I know that some of it is just dominance, but almost every time we can see that the male dog has been "ready-for-action" (if you get the picture ) - that's why I keep them so much apart.
But so far - thanks again!

You are quite right to keep your dog on a leash, in open spaces, whether she's trustworthy or not. Many places require this anyway.

Several years ago, before obedience was held as a competition at Crufts, I watched a demonstration by a man and his rescue dog, who did them at at Crufts. Wendy,( I still remember her name ) a little ginger scruffy was wonderfully obedient (she would even retrieve a large chair, tthat she could barely carry) yet her handler emphasised that even though she was so good, he always walked her on a lead, because you can never predict the unexpected.

Regarding mating: Although puppies would not be produced, a bitch can still get an infection from the dog, so this is not something youwant happening.

My cavaliers are quite sturdy larger ones, but I don't let my grandsons do more then throw a ball for them. Young boys are too impulsive . They could hurt the dogs or even get bitten should they do something they shouldn't.

ourempire said:

Thank you everybody. I found your comments most helpful, and I am so glad that I can use your comments. As for the humping part I know that some of it is just dominance, but almost every time we can see that the male dog has been "ready-for-action" (if you get the picture ) - that's why I keep them so much apart.
But so far - thanks again!

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Im really glad we've all put your mind at rest a little!
Like I said though, best to have a wee word with your sister in law otherwise you'll just be stressing whilst you're away!

OurEmpire - I think you are very wise on all your ideas and reasons. You are doing the right thing. Well Done.

Yep, Molly's your dog and even though she means well, the person minding her, needs to follow your rules.

I'd kennel a dog as a preference over allowing anyone who isn't insured and professionally running a dog minding business to keep my dogs. People can be well intentioned (eg 'I'll teach my friend's dog to walk off lead while she is away') but in one split second your dog's life is over.

I know of NO cavalier breeder or trainer who believes this breed is EVER safe to walk off lead anywhere near traffic. They have a strong spaniel instinct still to chase and as the breed standard clearly states, they are bred to be 'fearless'. That does NOT mean as in aggressive, it means as in they have NO FEAR of walking directly into traffic. A life is not worth trying to make a point about whether you can or cannot train a cavalier to walk lead free along the pavement with traffic passing by. I also strongly feel extensa leads are DANGEROUS for this (and all) breeds as a lead to use when in town, or near traffic. They easily pop out of your hand, they can jam or break or pop off the 'lock feature, leaving your dog to run right out in the road, it can be hard to lock the lead fast enough to prevent same if the dog runs after something into the street, and the thin lines of such leads tangle too easily with potentially devastating consequences.

Long ago I decided that, on balance, I have greater piece of mind knowing my dogs are SAFE in a kennel or proper, fenced, secure home boarding situation than left with well intentioned, even dog-owning friends or family whose dogs may not behave like mine, where kids or an adult may leave a door open, where my dogs may bolt if given a chance because they don't know the house, etc. There are too many worrying possibilities.

yes i agree you do what you want with your dog. I would leave strict instructions when you leave. Whatever training is to be done on the dog i think you should do if you see fit when you come back, or indeed, whenever you want to.
I dont think it is fair either that the male dog is always at your little girl. Ruby is gone for a spay this morning and without all the other things about diseases etc which is very valid, i also didnt want some dog after her because she would be in heat, and especially a bigger dog, as people said to me in the thread. And i dont think then when your dog is spayed and this male dog is not neutured that he should be allowed after her. She most likely wont want it then anyway, only he will, so what would that be !????????? His owners would want to grow up and get the dog neutured anyway, i think....... I think you have every right to insist that he stays away from her, and thats not something that children need to be looking at, at these functions....him trying to get up on her all the time....thats not right either.......

Thank you, all! I am actually releived that there is only one opinion about this topic about walking withouth leash. I am so glad to hear that it is related to their race and kind of type (the fearless thing), because that must be the most striking and conclusive argument.
About the kennel - well, we had had a very bad experience from the one time we tried, but I may have to reconsider that. I am sure that my sister in law will listen to me, if I show her all this correspondance, because she was also very particular and careful about her own dog, when it was alive. She is basically a good person, I just think that she thought she was doing us a favour, if she let Molly run free.
Then the other male dog - the disease and infection issue is also something to take very seriously, so I am happy that I can use that point the next time.
And biting children - whauw, I hadn't even considered that, since I saw Molly as a gentle dog, but of course every dog can be scared and provoked enough!
A big thank you to all of you, I am really glad that I was right about the way I wanted Molly treated by others