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Pinky
1st August 2008, 01:27 AM
Hi. Just wanted to get some opinions on which you prefer? I have always wanted a girl because I have it in my mind that a girl will be sweeter and I've heard that boys hump, mark, can be harder to train and often (ahem):o lick their bits even if they have been neutered at 6 months. Are these myths?

'Whatever the temperment of the breed, the males will be the extreme. Therefore, because the Cavalier is probably the sweetest breed there is, the males are the sweetest and make the best pets. The boys are IN LOVE with you and the girls love you but can take you or leave you. Cavaliers are clean, intelligent, and eager to please so housebreaking a male is just as easy (and sometimes easier) than housebreaking a female.'

Would you agree with this statement?

JeanKC
1st August 2008, 01:37 AM
Both of our boys were neutered early and don't lick. In fact, I can't remember either of them licking when they had something there to lick. They also don't hump anymore than the females do... at least our females.

I can't imagne a female being any sweeter than either of our boys. :lotsaluv:

*Pauline*
1st August 2008, 01:44 AM
They say a girl loves you but the boys are in love with you. Both are lovely though. Like JeanKC says, girls hump too. You do have that issue when they learn to cock their leg that they might start to mark in the house, that happened to us but it was very quickly stopped with training.

I think house training is down to not only the dog but the owner. We had Dylan trained in a month, which was amazing. I think you'll find even the breeders say they like the boys.

Pinky
1st August 2008, 02:04 AM
Pauline, was your boy neutered when he started to cock his leg?How do you train them not to do this? Is it not going against their natural instinct?

tara
1st August 2008, 02:08 AM
Like you, I was set on having a female cavalier. I heard the same things as you've quoted about boys, but still really wanted a girl. Now that Holly is here, and having seen her brothers from the litter, I really think that a male or female cavalier would have been just great. Holly is four months (so not spayed yet), and she does have a "special relationship" with a couple of her toys:rolleyes:. She has an incredibly sweet temperment and is much like the velcro cavaliers you read about.

My experience in finding a puppy was that reputable show breeders are much more likely to home a male than a female puppy. So, if you are set on a girl you may have to wait a bit. I waited for almost 7 months on several different litters with different breeders before finding Holly.

I really think that with this breed, great pets are male and female alike.

Cathy T
1st August 2008, 02:20 AM
I originally wanted a blenheim female. What did I end up with? A tri male. And I'm so glad I did. Jake is my true doggy love. He absolutely loves to cuddle and is extremely devoted to me. I don't have any problems with him marking. When we go somewhere new all I have to do is keep an eye on him the first 5 minutes, if he looks like he's getting ready to mark (and you can tell!!) a quick verbal correction and we're okay. We have no issues at all with humping, not with either of the dogs. Jake does "lick his bits"...but so does Shelby. All it takes is a quick redirection and it's not a problem.

For my future Cavaliers....I can honestly say it truly doesn't matter what sex they are.

Daisy's Mom
1st August 2008, 02:24 AM
I currently have our Daisy (female) and a 2-year old male foster at our house. He was neutered at 6 months, according to his previous owner's vet records. He doesn't hike his leg when he pees, he sort of hunches over. He is definitely much more of a velcro dog than Daisy. Consistent with what you've read, Daisy is much more independent than this guy. I like her being more independent, to be honest, especially as she is alone for several hours most weekdays once school starts in the Fall. It doesn't seem to bother her a bit.

This guy kind of wears on you with his constant presence and staring eyes. You literally cannot walk 3 steps without him jumping up to follow you, all in a dither in case he loses sight of you. But poor boy, I'm sure he may not feel totally secure yet, so that may account for his intense neediness. He may be very different after settling down in his forever home.

He does hump occasionally and I have to admit, it bothers me! He has had some accidents in the house, and that's the major reason why he was given up to rescue. We had one male dog growing up (Sidney), and he was a little love (at least to our family members). But he never achieved as perfect a level of housetraining as any of our 3 females. But I'll have to say, he never humped one single time in his life that I am aware of.

So, as you can probably tell, my personal preference is for females, but that's certainly not to say that the males aren't great pets. I think we fall in love with the dog we have, regardless of whether it's male or female. You'll think it's the greatest dog ever and no one will convince you otherwise!

I actually thought I'd like Daisy to be a little less independent UNTIL I had this guy. Now, I know Daisy is a better fit for us. She does follow me around most of the time, but she does it more subtly, if that makes any sense. She will be in the same room with me 95% of the time, but she is usually laying off a distance a way from me, and when I get up and leave the room, she waits a couple of minutes before she gets up and finds me. When I want to cuddle with her, she only comes to me if SHE'S in the mood. Otherwise, I have to go pick her up and carry her to the chair.

Mom of Jato
1st August 2008, 02:37 AM
I too thought I wanted a little girl for our first puppy, but there were only 3 boys born in the litter. So.... we got Jato, and I love him to bits!!! He never lifts his leg, or licks himself down there :rolleyes:, and hasn't humped since he was very young. He is such a good boy. Jato is very much a velcro Cavalier though. :luv: As soon as I move- he is up and following me. I love it though, as that is one of the reasons I wanted a Cavalier so much- for the never ending love and attention they give. :rah: I am still wanting a little girl, so I am on 2 waiting lists for a little Ruby girl. Wish me luck!

Cathy T
1st August 2008, 03:12 AM
Daisy's mom - I think a lot of what you are experiencing with this boy is really "rescue syndrome" rather than a male behavior. I bet he'll be better after he gets settled in a forever home. I went through this with one of my fosters and, frankly, it about drove me nuts. I understood why he behaved like that though and since going to his forever home he's much more confident and comfortable.

I think Shelby is a lot like Daisy in personality. She likes to be around but she doesn't have to be right on top of me. If I walk out of a room she doesn't come bounding after me to see where I'm going. She's much more comfortable with herself than Jake (velcro dog big time!!) is.

hbmama
1st August 2008, 04:47 AM
I would be more inclined to have the breeder match the puppy's personality with your lifestyle and take either one! However, I wanted a girl so I didn't have to deal with the marking issues and humping (although I have heard that some girls do this too!) Thankfully, Dottie never has had any interest in the big "H". I was also interested in a dog that had a more easy going, laid back personality that would be appropriate for therapy training. Her breeder did an excellent job matching her with our family!

I keep hearing that girls are more independent and not quite as loving as the boys, but I think it just depends on the dogs personality. My girl is extremely loving, enjoys a warm lap when she can find one, and follows me everywhere! She is so tuned in to everything that is going on and wants to be right in the middle of the activity. I just LOVE my baby girl! :lotsaluv:

Daisy's Mom
1st August 2008, 04:54 AM
Cathy -- it's good to hear that your foster got over the extreme "velcro-ness" after he was in his forever home. I hope for the same for our little guy! And I'm glad to hear that the constant following/jumping up whenever I get up, etc. kind of drove you nuts, too! I thought maybe I was just kind of hard-hearted or something (no one has ever accused me of that, though, I have to say :))

I feel for him so much, and he really could not be any sweeter. He has not one ounce of aggression in him, and once he got over his fear around us, he is just a complete lovebug. I just hope he starts feeling secure, so his true personality can come out. Sometimes when I watch him following me around, it just breaks my heart knowing that he will be leaving us, and he won't understand why. :( It makes me cry sometimes thinking that he will think we didn't love him back, and so he is just being passed off again. He bonded to me so quickly, though, that I know he will respond to kindness very readily in his forever home, too. Counting us, this poor little guy has been in 4 homes in his 2 years of life since leaving the puppy mill he came from! He really, really deserves a loving home where he can stay the rest of his life and feel secure.

Sorry getting a little off-topic for the thread. I think I'll go give our little guy an extra big hug! :luv:

Cathy T
1st August 2008, 05:32 AM
I really do think that they understand and feel when they are in their forever homes.



It makes me cry sometimes thinking that he will think we didn't love him back, and so he is just being passed off again. He bonded to me so quickly, though, that I know he will respond to kindness very readily in his forever home, too.


It's so important to remember that they don't "think" like we do. As long as you are loving to him he will learn that he can be loved. I truly think they "feel" when they have reached their forever home. Keep in mind that as quickly as he's bonded to you he will do the same (ten times over) with his forever home.

My "velcro" boy was very bonded with me. He came to stay with me a few months after he had been adopted. He was so happy to see me. And then when his mom came to get him a couple of days later....I just burst into tears when I saw how incredibly over the moon happy he was to see her. I saw that although he had bonded with me and was happy to see me again he sure knew who his forever mom was. And the joy that he has brought her made it all worthwhile.

sins
1st August 2008, 10:50 AM
I don't think gender matters really when choosing a puppy.Once you've gone through the experience of raising that little puppy on your lap and caring for it, you'll just adore it anyway.
Once the puppy is a good match for your home and you're committed to having a dog as part of your family, then all should be well.
Sins

*Pauline*
1st August 2008, 12:28 PM
Pauline, was your boy neutered when he started to cock his leg?How do you train them not to do this? Is it not going against their natural instinct?

Dylan is still entire at nearly 2 years old. Catching him in the act was the hard thing and then telling him off when he did it. Don't really scold them too severely as they can start to get sneaky and do it when you're out of the room. It only happened a few times and always in the kitchen so that was easy to clean up. He is not trustworthy in other peoples homes though. He wouldn't do a full wee just a little spray.

Going against instinct, not really, it's all house training, you can't let them do everything they want!

Sometimes when I vacuum he tries to make babies with the tube (hose?) but I just push him off.

I am glad I have a boy though but I don't think it matters. He does have the most fabulous coat though and I think boys do have better coats.

Karlin
1st August 2008, 12:31 PM
I agree totally with Marianne: work with reputable club show breeder who health tests and temperament tests her puppies and can thus help select a puppy that matches what you want, rather than a gender :thmbsup:. Far more important than boy or girl is whether you want an active go-getter dog that will need lots of stimulation and exercise (eg like my Jaspar, who I call my Attention Deficit Dog, does agility and clicker training, and would be a prime candidate as a surrender to rescue in the wrong home, but is my ideal and number one dog :)), or do you want a medium active dog, or do you want a sweet and quiet dog that will be relaxed and enjoy moderate exercise? I own dogs of all these personalities and they are very different.

All cavaliers are loving and sweet if they are good examples of the breed (hence breeder quality is important). Boys in my experience do not really ever tend to be the 'extreme' of a breed (this is kind of like saying boys/men are the extreme of the human race -- how do you define the human race? :)) -- the extreme of a breed is again *the most outgoing and intense and active personality* whether male or female (and this is why so many people get the worst possible dog for them when they pick 'the puppy that picked me!' because it went to them first. The most outgoing is going to be the one that goes to you first in most cases...).

All else being equal (which means individuals vary!) boys of ALL breeds do tend to be sweeter and more bonded and attached to owners and females tend to be a bit more aloof and independent, including amongst cavaliers. There are many many previous threads on this topic (use the search function to check them out :)) and you will see consistently that breeders on the board, who have raised and trained many cavaliers, in some cases, for decades, all agree with this! But the difference is pretty slight.

Boys sometimes lick, mark and hump, but the only humper and the prime marker in my house is Lily, not my boys. Females lick themselves regularly too -- they also tend to get more urine on them in my experience than boys because they squat their long feathering on their hindquarters right into their pee.

In short, with either gender -- with owning a dog -- it is impossible to avoid dog sexuality and body parts (as well as bowel movements to clean up from the ground, and clean off of them sometimes... :lol:).

I think the breeder consensus here is that they slightly prefer the boys. I do too -- I love all my dogs but I do prefer the personality of the boys. A well trained boy doesn;t mark inside though any more than a housetrained female does, and it is easy to limit how often boys mark outside on walks on the lead (whereas it is impossible for me to limit Lily from squatting and marking a dozen times on a walk, and getting yet more urine on her feathering, but that is just part of owning a dog... :) ).

So in short: go for an excellent breeder, have the breeder help you select a boy or a girl that suits what you hope for in a puppy that matches your activity level and lifestyle, and i am sure you will be happy.

PS MOST dogs surrendered to me in rescue by owners come to me because they were the wrong match -- always, a too active dog for a home that didn't want a really smart, active dog. An active bored dog starts to get unwanted behaviours and becomes destructive in an attempt to give itself something to do. And the dog ends up being surrendered to rescue. The right match is crucial.

*Pauline*
1st August 2008, 12:45 PM
Must agree with what Karlin says, the personality of the dog is the most important thing. Before I got to know Dylan it was all about looks and I learnt over time as I got to see him and his litter mates weekly or fortnightly (one of which had better markings) that looks or sex wasn't everything. Dylan was the one for me as he was passive and relaxed and content and not too demanding.

Karlin
1st August 2008, 12:49 PM
Whereas Jaspar is demanding unless he is asleep! :rotfl: Leo is very laid back and sweet natured and gentle; Lily is a little outgoing tomboy stinkbutt, and Lucy is sweet and adorable but a bit aloof. The boys are most actively demanding of affection and interaction. All four follow me everywhere though -- and want to be nearby whenever I sit on the sofa. That's the breed, not the gender. :)

GGMom
1st August 2008, 03:55 PM
For my future Cavaliers....I can honestly say it truly doesn't matter what sex they are.

I totally agree. I originally wanted a tri female and got George, my tri male. I had always had a female dog and was hesitant about a male. George is such a sweetie, love. I now have a blenheim female, Gracie, and there really isn't any difference in potty training. Actually, George is more affectionate than Gracie.

Ponyprincess
1st August 2008, 04:03 PM
I also wanted a female, even though i read that males are more "velcro".
I'm REALLY glad I got my little girl!!! I wouldn't her any more attatched to me then she is! she does have her independent moments, but they don't last too long.:) she is SUCH a cuddle bug!! the thing I love the most is that she bonded with just me, and while she loves EVERYONE and has her favorite people, I am her mommy and she is devoted to me. it's an awesome relationship. I wouldn't trade it for anything!

Elude
1st August 2008, 05:30 PM
I wanted a male and my fiance wanted a female. When we finally found a breeder we were happy with, we put on our application that either a male or a female would be perfect for us. We ended up with a very outgoing energetic tri girl. She humps, marks (even lifts her leg while doing it) and licks herself with the best of them. In fact I think our good friends neutered male is much more well behaved in that department. :roll:

I now have two girls and my tri is way more outgoing than my younger ruby. They are totally opposite personalities. The younger girl is very sweet, affectionate, and big cuddler. She requires way less exercise and is quite happy with a few short walks a day. My tri is still very demanding of my time but in a different way. Shes not a cuddler and only wants to be affectionate on her terms. She does follow me everywhere and loves everyone in typical cavalier fashion. We also often joke that shes a border collie in cavalier form. She can go, go, go, and then want to go some more. She also can be very anxious, and mischievious.

I often laugh with her breeder and say that if anyone else had have got Zo she would have had her returned. But in all honesty it probably would have been the case. My fiance and I are very easy going, fairly relaxed people. We are also fairly active. If Zo had have been put in a situation with a stressful, anxious family. Or a family who didn't have time to devote to her emotional and physical needs. I'm sure she would have been abandoned or returned.

I definitely would have a breeder match your personality with a puppy. Our breeder knew that we would be the perfect home for Miss Zo and I wouldn't change her for the world.. anxious, high strung, marking, humper.. shes perfect for us, and we're ideal for her.

Seraphine
1st August 2008, 11:13 PM
I was dead set on a male and if I would not have had the chance to get a male, I would have waited until my breeder's next litter. I still have a very hard time imagining ever getting a female. Dante is still not neutered, he might never be to be honest, and although he has had a few issues with humping, marking and licking his bits when he was younger he's trained enough by now to not do it. He doesn't ever hump, he only marks outside on his walks and occasionally in other people's homes if not supervised (he's still always kept on a leash attached to me at these times). I love how sweet, affectionate and bonded he is to me and knowing how moody and aloof females can be, it's just not for me. But obviously all dogs are different, as are our own preferences.

Daisy's Mom
2nd August 2008, 03:04 AM
Female Cavaliers may be more independent than male Cavaliers (I don't know about "moody and aloof" :)), but even a relatively independent Cavalier is still a very bonded, loving, affectionate, velcro dog compared to most other breeds, IMO.

Cathy Moon
2nd August 2008, 01:50 PM
Having two girls and one boy, I would have to say I like having both. Geordie is my first male dog, and there is a subtle difference. He's a little more active, devoted, playful, purposeful, obedient, loyal, motivated to please, and affectionate. He was neutered young, so he doesn't mark, hump or lick his bits; he doesn't even lift his leg to wee. He's one funny, busy little man, our Geord-meister.:lotsaluv:

FranklinFreckles
2nd August 2008, 10:00 PM
Right now I have a neutered male but I am getting a little girl in two weeks :rah:

I love my little man, and he does not mark in the house because he is housebroken! He does hump occasionally (maybe once every two months... but when he does he does it for a long time :rolleyes:) and lick his bits and has a "red rocket" peaking out frequently enough but he was seven months when I had him neutered. He also does mark on walks which gets a little annoying but he also squats to pee, depending on how he feels :rolleyes:

He is very affectionate and snuggly like any cavalier should be, but I am disappointed to hear that girls are generally less affectionate than boys. My boy is very athletic and loves to play and I was hoping to convince my new girl to be more calm and extra snuggly while Franklin tumbled around with our housemate's dog.

Time will tell, and I'll love them both no matter what :luv:

brotymo
3rd August 2008, 12:48 AM
but I am disappointed to hear that girls are generally less affectionate than boys.

I was hoping to convince my new girl to be more calm and extra snuggly while Franklin tumbled around with our housemate's dog.

Time will tell, and I'll love them both no matter what :luv:

I don't think you should stereotype. I know my experience with a female was limited to Pixie, but she was a sweet, cuddly angel. She followed me from room to room, and would just wait for me to sit on the couch so she could cuddle beside me. If I turned on the TV, she knew I was getting ready to sit down on the couch, so she'd go ahead and get out of her bed and jump on the couch, sit there and wait for me to sit beside her. Then she'd curl beside me and rest her head on my lap. At bedtime, she was ready for the first person to go get in the bed so she could go snuggle with them and go to sleep.
I loved her personality. It was perfect.

*Pauline*
3rd August 2008, 12:59 AM
I don't think you should stereotype. I know my experience with a female was limited to Pixie, but she was a sweet, cuddly angel. She followed me from room to room, and would just wait for me to sit on the couch so she could cuddle beside me. If I turned on the TV, she knew I was getting ready to sit down on the couch, so she'd go ahead and get out of her bed and jump on the couch, sit there and wait for me to sit beside her. Then she'd curl beside me and rest her head on my lap. At bedtime, she was ready for the first person to go get in the bed so she could go snuggle with them and go to sleep.
I loved her personality. It was perfect.

I wish Dylan was like that!

Cathy Moon
3rd August 2008, 01:36 AM
She followed me from room to room, and would just wait for me to sit on the couch so she could cuddle beside me. If I turned on the TV, she knew I was getting ready to sit down on the couch, so she'd go ahead and get out of her bed and jump on the couch, sit there and wait for me to sit beside her.
Oh how sweet!

That's exactly how Chocolate is - she just wants to cuddle up on the sofa in the evenings! :lotsaluv:

hbmama
3rd August 2008, 04:44 AM
They are all special in their own way, but my girl is as affectionate as they come. She is constantly looking up at me with those goo goo eyes of hers which translates to pure love.:luv: She follows me from room to room and is a snuggle bug lap dog. There is nothing aloof about her, and she is so intune with my moods. So, girls can be "IN LOVE WITH YOU" too!!!

Love my Cavaliers
3rd August 2008, 08:53 PM
I'll put my 2 cents in also - I have 2 males and 2 females. My oldest male (Oliver, a 7 year old Blenheim) absolutely adores and loves me, but really only me. He tolerates and likes my husband and daughter, but is really standoffish with my son (who is married and lives elsewhere) and my daughter's boyfriend. Actually, with most males in general. He was easy, easy to housebreak and train. My next one is Riley (she is a bl and tan, 6 years old in 3 weeks) and she is the snuggle bunny of the group. She would be content to let me carry her around all day long. She lives to please. And she is like that with everybody. She also has SM and is still recovering from her decompression surgery, so it's a good thing she is so complacent. My next female is Madison (4 year old ruby - half sister to Riley). She is one of my velcro dogs. As soon as I go down the hall, I know that I will hear the pitter-patter of her little feet. She also duels constantly with the baby (Oz, a 13 month old tri-color male) about who gets my lap when I sit down. They are continuously jockeying for that honor. As soon as one moves, the other is right there to grab it. Riley is content to sit near me and doesn't need to be on me. But both Oz (my other velcro dog) and Maddie need to be ON me. Both of my males were a breeze to housebreak, and neither of them hump or mark, except on walks. They do lick themselves, but so do the girls. Riley was almost a year old when we got her and already housebroken. Maddie was also easy, but took a little longer than the boys. Oz at 13 months is still a little pistol. He is a wiggleworm, constantly on the go, and still needs to be watched - or he's off retrieving some treasure from a wastebasket or my daughter's room. Interestingly, he plays the best with Oliver. Madison will play briefly just to get him to stop nagging her, but Oliver actively engages. He's way too active and rough for Riley though and I am constantly stopping him from biting her ears or legs. But it is Riley that he chooses to curl up next to for naps. Madison has somewhat of a teasing streak in her also - maybe it's a little mean too. She will taunt Oz by coming to within a couple of inches from him and just holding a toy she knows he loves. He whines and talks to her to get her to release it, and will pounce on it the second she turns away, unless she is too quick and turns back. Just a look from her and he backs off. It is truly amazing to watch. She is totally dominant over him. Oliver and Riley would never fight over a toy. They would just give it up and walk away. So just to reinforce what most people have been saying - it's not the sex of the dog, it's their personality that makes all the difference.
Bev, along with Oliver :paw:, Riley :paw:, Madison :paw:, and Oz:paw:

misty
3rd August 2008, 11:19 PM
If I had to choose, I think I prefer the boys. But I think that's because I love supervelcro affectionate dogs.

My girlies are both more independent than all the boys, but I love them all of course. :)