Cav jealous of baby....

Hi All!

I'm hoping someone might have some words of advice. We have a young baby - 5 months old, and a 2 year old cavalier. Lately Willow has been displaying signs of being jealous/sad about the baby. We know that she misses being our center of attention. We try to include her as much as we can, but she actually resists some of our efforts. For example, she used to be the ultimate lap dog - she liked nothing else better than to curl up with us in front of a movie on the sofa. Now, she'll often come with us for a few minutes, but then leave and go lie on the floor, looking incredibly sad as only cavaliers can do. In the last little while, she's also taken to peeing on the floor upstairs (where the baby's room is) - we know it's a cry for attention, but we don't know what to do, especially since when we try to give her attention, she often turns away.

We know if we can get through the next year or so, she's going to have the best buddy possible in our son. I have to add, she's NEVER shown any signs of aggression towards the baby - she loves to lick his toes, and gets mad with us when we won't let her lick him all over. For his part, he just adores Willow - he gets the biggest smiles and giggles whenever she comes around. I'm convinced his first words will be "doggy" or "Willow".

Any advice anyone has on how to help her deal with the adjustment to being a fur sister instead of the baby in the family would be appreciated. We consider her one of the family, and it's just devastating us to see her unhappy.

Thanks!
Krista

Aw. Poor Willow. I'm sure as your son gets older and becomes a little less demanding she'll adjust. even human siblings go through a period of adjustment when a new baby joins the family. I worry about how Anastasia will react when my husband and I have kids. she LOVES children, don't get me wrong. but she doesn't like it when I'm holding them and not her. she gets very upset like Willow. I'm sure time is just needed for Willow, as long as you keep showing her that she's loved she'll come around!

Hi Krista - I have absolutely no words of advice having only 4 legged babies in the house. But I love reading how you talk about Willow and how she and the baby adore each other. Hoping someone with some experience can give you some guidance.

Hi Krista,

Congratulations on your new baby! Like Cathy, it really made me smile reading how much you obviously care for Willow. I don't have new baby / dog advice, but I know that when we brought our daughter home from the hospital our cat had a really hard period of adjustment (urinating in the baby's room, etc.). Everyone around me said to of course get rid of the cat. But like you, I felt that she was an equal member of the family and just tried to be very patient with her and take whatever free time I had to show her that she was still loved and important to me. I would advise doing that with Willow and I bet that soon her insecurities will be alleviated. It sounds like you are wonderfully committed to her, so just show her patience and a little extra TLC during her period of adjustment.


Good luck!
Tara

Aww Im sorry I dont really have much advice. You clearly adore her though, and im sure she knows this. The peeing is definitely a cry for attention.

Maybe even trying to be a bit more aloof with her might help. I dont mean ignoring her or anything, but just try not to be overcompensating if that makes sense? I imagine the walks she gets is with you so she does still have you to herself at times... and even when the baby is asleep. Dont feel bad, although I know its all too easy to feel such a way. :flwr:

There is something I need to ask though... can we please have lots of photos of baby and willow??? Like Cathy, I loved reading what you wrote about their interactions! :snap:

Casey was 2 YO when we brought our son home. She was definitely depressed at first, and I hate to tell you...but still to this day (our son is now 3 YO and Casey is 5) she really wants not much to do with him. If we're sitting together on the sofa or playing, she will come over and sit with us, but if he's running around playing she will keep her distance, either under the kitchen table or on her bed. Now, our puppy Ollie on the other hand, is turning 1 YO next week, and he will not leave our son alone...he wants so badly to be his best bud and follows him around the house or yard incessently.

I think it has a lot to do with Casey being our "only child/ furbaby" for so long, she did not take lightly to being replaced. I can only tell you that it MAY get better, or might not. You just have to work really hard at giving your dog as much one-on-one attention as you can while the baby is napping and after he goes to bed at night and making your dog feel like part of the new family too.