View Full Version : Sleeping Arrangements
21st January 2009, 10:29 PM
I need some advice. The boys have always slept in bed with us (Miles is almost 2 and Truman is just over 1). I was the one who pushed for it because growing up, my dogs always slept in bed with me. Over the last few months, however, they have been waking us up in the middle of the night because they move around and snore, and lay on or right above our heads on the pillows. They are completely taking over the bed. Although I love cuddling with them, they are starting to become disruptive to our sleep.
They are totally into their routines, especially Miles, who will climb into bed at 10:00 on the dot because that's his bedtime! :rolleyes: We have tried putting them out of the room for the night but they literally stand at the door and whine/scratch. We have frosted glass sliding panel doors, so we can see them sitting there, waiting for HOURS to be let back in the room. Should we try crating them at night? We have 1 crate that they share when we need to crate them, but is it okay to crate them together at night? We have a loft with an open floor plan so we cannot put them into another room, and I know that we don't want to set up an x-pen every night. I don't care if they have the run of the rest of the house, I just don't want them scratching at our door. I feel so bad, they always want to be with us, especially Miles...I think Truman would be fine not sleeping with us, it's Miles that will have a hard time adjusting.
Any words of advice/encouragment? I know this is totally my fault, I just need to get them used to sleeping somewhere else so we can get some good sleep!
21st January 2009, 11:20 PM
When a dog sleeps in your bedroom he/she forms a very close bond with you. That is the lovely thing about having the dog with you at night.;) They would be happy on a bed of their own as long as they are with you.:)
Dogs don't like to have their sleeping arrangements altered:( (which is understandable), but under the circumstances you are experiencing I would advise giving them a really comfy bed placed at the foot of your bed on the floor.
If they try to jump up onto your bed,you may have to tether them. You will need to do this in a very safe way, so that they don't become tangled up. One dog on each side of the bed may be best on a tether just long enough for them to move around.
Then you could do some clicker training with them to give them a cue to go on the bed and off the bed. If you don't want them to go on the bed ever again, then just don't cue the behaviour.:D
The dogs may whine and cry to come on the bed with you, but if you do not relent, they will understand quite soon that their sleeping quarters have now been changed. When they are quiet in their beds you could give them some fuss and tell them what good boys they are.
I allow my cavvie onto the bed, but only by invitation.:cool: I ask him to sit, wait, then I jingle some keys - (he's getting ready to jump by this time):D and then I pat the bed. :paw:
It really is best to either allow them on the bed by invitation or not to allow them on the bed at all. They can get very confused otherwise.:confused: So, as I do allow Murphy to sleep with me - he knows where he goes to sleep at night - but I want him to be courteous and not just jump up on the bed until I give him permission.:cool:
It isn't fair to sometimes allow a dog to do something and then another day not allow it. This can cause instability in the poor creatures.:confused: I wouldn't invite my dog to sleep with me on Monday, but then on Tuesday tell him to sleep on the floor. :eek:
So, consistency is the key and I hope this helps. Just don't expect immediate desired results. Give them time.
21st January 2009, 11:42 PM
I can understand your dilemma. Pixie was used to sleeping with me (or one of the children) and she was a very still, quiet sleeper, so it was no disruption. Bandit and Lizzie are noisy, restless sleepers, so some nights it just isn't convenient. I do think you can do both bed AND crate. I'd get them a metal, wire crate that they could share, put it right beside your bed, and just go for it. You might be practically driven nuts the first few nights, but if you don't relent, they will eventually come to love their new "cave" and they will still be with you and can see you.
The reason I say you can do both bed and crate is because I have done that easily with Bandit and Lizzie. They started out crated at night always, no exception for about the first 3 months. After I felt certain that he wouldn't have an accident on my bed, I would let him lie down with me or one of the children for a little while and then I'd move him to the crate for sleeping. Now, if I am going to be up late studying or working, they will bed down in their crate until I come to bed. Some nights I get them and put them in bed with me, and other nights I will just leave them crated, or if they wake early to go to the bathroom, I will bring them back in and let them lie down with me until I have to get up. They are completely unflustered by either arrangement. They prefer the bed, but they accept the crate, and even go get in it on their own if they get tired and I am not ready to go to bed yet.
Good luck with the adjustment.
22nd January 2009, 12:23 AM
I agree that some dogs can really adapt well and you're very blessed with Bandit and Lizzie.
As Dan got older he developed the LOUDEST snore in Christendom. He'd wake the dead, honestly!:jump:
So, he had his bed moved onto the landing and we had to close the door. Several nights went by and the door would be scratched and opened, and we had to try to settle him and barricade ha ha the door. He eventually settled down on the landing.
Now that he's a very old man, he likes to be carried upstairs sometimes. He lets us know whether he would rather stay on his comfy bed downstairs or go up. This is done by sitting at the bottom of the stairs and longingly looking upwards ....... or going and flopping down by the fireside for the night.
In his younger days, if his bed had been inadvertently moved from its usual spot he would bark until someone adjusted it to his Majesty's proper position.
In Dan & Bailey's younger days they used to sleep on the bed with us, but found they were most comfy until OH got in and then they would sleep on their beds on the floor, as he moved around so much and disturbed their sleep.
They're all different - but one thing about cavs, they do like to live in harmony with their owners, they love to be close to you and they are always a true friend.
22nd January 2009, 12:26 AM
This helped with Ollie: I put a comfy smallish dog bed @ the foot of the bed, between my hubby and I. Ollie slept on the bed and learned that's "his spot". Now, even if the bed is gone for some reason, he still stays at the foot inbetween us. Before we did that, he was always waking my hubby up by hogging the bed and trying to lay between his legs.
We also keep a crate in our bedroom and if one of them is sick or if Ollie is having a hard time settling in for the night he sleeps in the crate.
They were both crate-trained so don't mind going in there, but much prefer to sleep where they choose (Ollie in our bed, Casey on the floor next to the bed).
22nd January 2009, 02:16 AM
I know EXACTLY what you mean.
Maddy sleeps with us. She starts the night on the top of the covers. At some time during the night (every night) she decides she wants to "get under" the covers. She licks my face until I lift up the covers and say "want to go under?". She stays there for about an hour or so then decides "too hot" and crawls her way out and on top of the covers again. She scratches the covers to "make her bed". Imagine, I am woken up two or three times.
When I am not there, she just sleeps on my side of the bed and I don't believe my husband wakes up to lift the covers up etc.
22nd January 2009, 03:22 AM
We were told to start out as we meant to continue on, so we didn't put the dogs in bed with us. (I wanted to but was afraid that if we ever had to have the folks or someone else dog sit for us, they might not appreciate sleeping with two little fidgety snoring furmonsters.) So, we crated Dottie, then Claire when she moved in, in our bedroom, one on each side of the bed. That worked okay for awhile, but I can't tell you how many times I REALLY needed to get up in the night and I just held it because I was afraid I would wake the girls and they would want out too.:rolleyes: I was also sleeping very lightly and heard every snort, re-arranging of crate bedding, sighs, etc.
Hubby and I decided to move the girls downstairs into the rec room and bought a larger crate. They both happily snuggle and sleep together from about 9 or 10pm until 6:30 or 7am. We now all get a good night sleep, and only once has Claire barked to go out in the middle of the night. We got up, and she did have to go, then ran right back in to bed down for the rest of the night. We can hear them if they call, but they are far enough away that we can rest without all the winky noises!:thmbsup:
Mom of Jato
22nd January 2009, 04:37 AM
Sorry to hear you are losing sleep. :( If I were you, I think I would try putting their crate in your room and see if they will settle in for the night together. I actually bought another crate when we got Zoey...we have the crates side-by-side in our family room. Each night at 10:00 pm they get a few pieces of their kibble when they are told to "get in your bed". They actually look forward to bedtime it's funny. :D It might take a few days to settle into a new routine, but just stay firm and they will adjust. I think as long as they can see/smell you close by they should be OK. Good luck, and let us know how it goes.
22nd January 2009, 09:52 AM
We kind of had a similar issue, although we didnt let the dogs sleep in our bed, just in our bedroom. Maybe try putting a dog bed at the end of your bed and see how that goes. You do need your sleep too.
In the end we had to shift both dogs downstairs because one night Prince was snoring so loud it sounded like the neighbour was drilling through the wall, I nearly had a heart attack (he snores like an old man after 10 pints of Guinness on a good night)!! They adapted just fine, they are both very laid back. If your dogs have been in with you for longer, they may not adapt so well to the eviction notice :p
22nd January 2009, 01:01 PM
Poppy ,Daisy and Rosie all sleep downstairs in the lounge ,they have their own crates side by side with Rosie (shes the baby ) in the middle ,and each crate has a vetmat covering with a feather pillow on top that then on top of that each has a Skyeskns sheepskin mat so they should all be nice and warm and comfy .
But I can still hear their snoring resonating through the ceiling and I am sure the main culprit is the smallest of the three that being Dangerous Daisy the Loranka Blenheim from Betws-Y-Coed Mid Wales and for the size of her she really belts out the decibels.
But as one does in married life Dawn and I do have the odd :confused: cross word which normally results with her sleeping downstairs so therefore on these occasions the girls are very happy to gallop upstairs and join me on the bed ,Poppy scrunches right up beside me and Daisy flops on the bottom of the bed whilst Rosie occupies one of the cat radiator beds ,but strangely I don't really notice their snores but then it could be I snore louder than them.:confused:
Love my Cavaliers
22nd January 2009, 01:37 PM
Oliver sleeps in our room, but he doesn't like to sleep on the bed - just near us. So he has his own bed in our room. The other three sleep in my laundry room which is a good size and I have a door I can close. However, I do have a huge crate I used to put in there and all three would go snuggle up in it once Oz was own of his own crate. Now they like their double donut beds. Carrie - you are welcome to my huge crate if you would like it. It certainly would be big enough for Miles and Truman. I have moved Riley back and forth between my bed and the laundry room. If she seems to have had a rough day with her SM, I feel badly and let her sleep with us. But she has to sleep pressed up next to me at all times and I end up not sleeping well. So then she goes back into the laundry room. She would prefer sleeping with me, but she never complains about going in with Oz and Maddie. Luckily I never started Oz in my room - he is a very vocal dog and will express his displeasure!
Love my Cavaliers
22nd January 2009, 01:37 PM
Oliver sleeps in our room, but he doesn't like to sleep on the bed - just near us. So he has his own bed in our room. The other three sleep in my laundry room which is a good size and I have a door I can close. However, I do have a huge crate I used to put in there and all three would go snuggle up in it once Oz was own of his own crate. Now they like their double donut beds. Carrie - you are welcome to my huge crate if you would like it. It certainly would be big enough for Miles and Truman and even a friend! I have moved Riley back and forth between my bed and the laundry room. If she seems to have had a rough day with her SM, I feel badly and let her sleep with us. But she has to sleep pressed up next to me at all times and I end up not sleeping well. So then she goes back into the laundry room. She would prefer sleeping with me, but she never complains about going in with Oz and Maddie. Luckily I never started Oz in my room - he is a very vocal dog and will express his displeasure!
Love my Cavaliers
22nd January 2009, 01:38 PM
Oliver sleeps in our room, but he doesn't like to sleep on the bed - just near us. So he has his own bed in our room. The other three sleep in my laundry room which is a good size and I have a door I can close. However, I do have a huge crate I used to put in there and all three would go snuggle up in it once Oz was out of his own crate. Now they like their double donut beds. Carrie - you are welcome to my huge crate if you would like it. It certainly would be big enough for Miles and Truman and even a friend! I have moved Riley back and forth between my bed and the laundry room. If she seems to have had a rough day with her SM, I feel badly and let her sleep with us. But she has to sleep pressed up next to me at all times and I end up not sleeping well. So then she goes back into the laundry room. She would prefer sleeping with me, but she never complains about going in with Oz and Maddie. Luckily I never started Oz in my room - he is a very vocal dog and will express his displeasure!
Love my Cavaliers
22nd January 2009, 01:39 PM
Sorry - I don't know why it posted three times!!!
22nd January 2009, 02:23 PM
Abbey our five year old sleeps on our bed and let me tell you how can something so small take up so much room. There are times I say the heck with it and go downstairs in our spare room and sleep. Hubby always laughs and says funny how a dog makes the rules--lol. Our newest member Bentley who joined this family 2 months ago sleeps in a crate by our bed where he can see me since he is so in love with me and vice versa. I will never let him sleep on the bed as then no way will there be room. Most of the time we run the supplemental room air conditioner on like 75+ degrees to cover up Abbey's snoring or I'd never get any sleep--she can outdo hubby.
22nd January 2009, 03:36 PM
THANK YOU so much for your replies everyone! I really appreciate all of the advice. I will probably put them both in the crate, which is currently in the kitchen area, and see if that works. I would rather not have the crate in our bedroom because Miles snores SO loud, but I guess that might be another option if they won't settle down in the kitchen.
Bev, thank you so much for the offer of your larger crate! That is so nice of you. I'm going to see how they do in my current crate and if they seem too cramped I might just take you up on your offer :)
They actually love their crate and go in on their own to sleep during the day sometimes, so I'm sure they'll get used to sleeping in it at night. The cats go in there too, and sometimes they're in there with one of the dogs! I know the first few nights will be hard, I just need to make myself not give in when they're whining or scratching...maybe I'll turn on a big fan to drown out the noise ;) Thanks again everyone! I'll let you all know how it goes!
22nd January 2009, 10:40 PM
Looking forward to hearing how it goes. I remember Victoria from "It's me or the dog" saying she uses a crate in the bedroom then over a week, moved the crate further and further away from the bedside until it was out of the room.
22nd January 2009, 11:01 PM
Daisy now sleeps at the back of my knees in the bed.It means that hubby and I are left to share approx half the bed and she has the other half.This is not good for me as I wake up with neckache some mornings and being pinned in one spot by her majesty doesn't help.
It's only in the last few weeks that she's started this behaviour,she's always been happy with a crate or basket in the utility room.
I think the cold weather must be bothering her as she starts howling like the hound of the baskervilles to be let down to our room at 4 am. Because we both need sleep to face work, we give in and let her in.
I told my husband I have a perfect solution to the problem.
Get her a cavalier companion to snuggle up to at night, so far he remains unimpressed!!
22nd January 2009, 11:26 PM
Dogs like routines. It is NOT difficult to change even a longstanding routine, generally; it just takes some time, and firmness on your part. It will take in all likelihood a VERY short time to switch their habits -- it is only another training routine like changing when and how they are fed, how you approach walks, etc etc. But having them roaming free outside your room isn't a great idea as they will of course expect to be allowed back in to where they assume they are *supposed* to be sleeping, and most likely are going to scratch and whine (as you have seen! though this would probably stop after a time if you totally ignore it).
I'd confine them to another room. Or start crate training. You cannot just decide to crate them at night without actually crate *training* them first (that means more than just letting them choose to occasionally sleep in a crate when the door is open. They need to be crate trained to remain comfortable for periods in a crate when the door is closed). Therefore it would be a lot easier just to assign them a room on their own. If they are crate trained, then just change the routine so that they go into their crates, get a treat, and that is that.
I just retrained all four of mine to sleep in crates, two by two, at night, for much the same reason as you have chosen (they were already all crate trained, and also have always been crated at night when home-boarded when I am away for work).
My reason? They had shifted from being enjoyable to being a pain, and I was having my sleep patterns seriously disrupted (I am a light sleeper and the shifting around, and Lily's snoring, were driving me up the wall).
For a few days Jaspar would whine at night in the crate downstairs, and I had to just firmly tell him 'enough' (my cue to stop an unwanted behaviour). After two days all the others were fine with this arrangement. After 5 days Jaspar was fine too. Now he and Leo are first into their crates when I say 'crates!' at night. They all get their treats and lights go out and that is that til morning. I need less sleep time because I am getting the sleep I need, unbroken, all night long. I occasionally have Jaspar in my room still because he doesn't snore and hardly shifts around.
I'd just get some earplugs and expect that you may have a couple of difficult nights as they adjust but there's no pleasure in losing sleep over sharing a room with dogs-- this is certainly not an adjustment you should be making to suit them! Also kep in mind that if they snore things will NOT improve by simply moving them elsewhere in the room, either. You need them out of the room if snoring wakes you, as they are going to shift around and snore just as much at the end of the bed as they did in the bed! That's why I moved them all out of my room -- it would actually have been worse to keep them in crates elsewhere in the room as at least if they were on the bed I could nudge Lily when she snored. :lol: I personally would not tether dogs at night -- I think this is potentially dangerous in all sorts of ways, for the dogs.
23rd January 2009, 05:04 PM
Thanks Pauline, Sins and Karlin!
Karlin, your advice on how you transitioned yours from the bed to crates was VERY helpful! I'm glad that I'm not alone in this, because I feel guilty that I let them sleep with us and now I'm going to have them sleep in a crate. I feel like I made a bad decision in the beginning and now I need to fix it.
They are crated by our choice at times, such as when we have workers or particular guests in the house, and all I have to say is "go to your crate!" and they both run in there because they know they're going to get a treat. They are find being locked in there, they don't scratch to get out, they either just sit there or lie down and cuddle. They have a water dish (attached to the side of the crate, I bought it at a dog show and it's wonderful because it can't spill!), a dog bed, blankets and a stuffed animal, so they should be comfortable. It's funny, when I ask them if they "want a treat?", Truman goes running into the crate and waits for his, because that's where he normally gets treats! :) Since the snoring is so loud I cannot have the crate in the bedroom, I agree that it would be pointless...like you said, at least I can shift Miles when he snores if he's in bed! I have earplugs so I will probably need them for the first few nights. I will try to start the new sleeping arrangement this weekend so by Sunday night hopefully they will be at least a little bit adjusted so I'm not exhausted for work on Monday!
THANK YOU to everyone who replied, I will let you all know how it went and how long it took!!! :thnku:
24th February 2009, 04:25 PM
Hi Everyone, I just wanted to thank all of you for your support and advice and also to give you an update...we did it! The dogs no longer sleep with us. It's been about 2 weeks, and the first few nights they made a little noise and I honestly think Miles waited up all night at our sliding door hoping he would be let in. In the morning they greeted me like I had been away on vacation for weeks! I was starting to worry about Miles because I could tell he was restless and not sleeping at night, and he started to sleep ALL day because he was so tired from the night before.
Well, I think they've really adjusted and are now quietly and soundly sleeping on their own. When I woke up this morning I was really quiet and snuck out into the living room to find that they had both crawled into the crate they share and were sound asleep! :) We are sleeping much better too, and although I miss cuddling with them at night it is definitely better for all of us if they are not in bed. So THANK YOU for all of the advice, it worked and we all really appreciate it!
Mom of Jato
25th February 2009, 02:26 AM
:pi*no: YIPEE!!!! Glad to hear everyone has adjusted to the new sleeping arrangements, and are sleeping well.
25th February 2009, 08:15 AM
Glad it worked out for you.
I love my boys and like nothing better than a cuddle in bed when I lie on for a while on days off work or if I am sick in bed,or just go there to watch TV... BUT... I could not have them sleep all night on my bed,they have always slept in the kitchen. We tried it one night and they kept us awake half the night between snoring,moving around,taking over the bed and hopping up and down for a drink!
Maybe one wouldn't be bad but when three do it at different times,then it goes on half the night.
It must have been a worry to you changing their routine so glad they have settled.
25th February 2009, 10:46 AM
Congrats! It really doesn't take very long even with dogs that seem to be a possible challenge... the biggest problem is giving in during the training transition which teaches them that fussing will sometimes get a response.
Maybe one wouldn't be bad but when three do it at different times,then it goes on half the night.
Yes same here. If people are heavy sleepers too I am sure then there are no problems. But I am a light sleeper and I was constantly being woken up and having to fall back to sleep. Even with just Jaspar -- as I'd consider keeping just him upstairs -- he shifts around in and out of the covers and after a trial night I had him back downstairs. They sleep two and two to a crate and now all fly into their crates when I say "crates!" for their bedtime biscuit. They are quiet while I get up and feed the cats and get some initial stuff done, too -- then I let them out and we go for a morning walk. It makes the morning so much easier.
My sleeping has improved 500% and because I get good quality sleep, I need about an hour less a night as well. I do miss having Jaspar upstairs as he is very quiet but getting them out of my room at night is the single best thing I have done to improve MY quality of life! :lol:
25th February 2009, 07:54 PM
Well Done Carrie!:rah:
Glad to hear that everyone is sleeping soundly now;)
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