View Full Version : Going away and feeling guilty

4th May 2009, 03:01 PM
We are going on holiday on Wednesday, and today we put the suitcase upstairs on the bed ready to pack later. We couldnt find Ellie, so we went upstairs to look for her and she was sitting in the suitcase :(. As if we didnt feel bad enough leaving her:(:(. She is staying with the lady who grooms her, and I know she will be well looked after, but I still feel SO guilty at leaving her:(.........She knows somthing is going on and is following me everywhere:cry*ing:

4th May 2009, 03:25 PM
heart breaking isnt it, we dont have anyone to look after harley so we dont go

4th May 2009, 03:35 PM
this is a topic i can so very much relate to...we had a trip already planned when we got our 1st pup...he was 2 months old when we got him...he was a tiny 6 months old when we had to leave him for a week at a doggy daycare...we had the ability to view him daily through a live camera, but it was really really heartbreaking...

i had the hardest time and we picked him up as soon as we landed back home...needless to say it was quite a reunion...

i wish i could find someone reliable, where I could leave my pups (now with 2 pups) in a home also as the doggy daycare thing is too much for one of my pups...

just wanted to let you know that I feel your sadness...

murphy's mum
4th May 2009, 03:47 PM
They do know how to pluck at your heartstrings:l*v:

I have a picture of Murphy somewhere, lying inside my suitcase when we were packing to go on honeymoon. He looks so unhappy in it.

He puts his sad face on if we get ready to out for the night, he'll lie on the bed and just stare at me getting ready. And then he'll normally put himself to bed when I get my coat:( Gets me everytime:rolleyes:

Love my Cavaliers
4th May 2009, 05:59 PM
I have a friend who stays at my house with my dogs when I go on vacation and my dogs absolutley adore her so luckily I don't worry about them at all when I'm gone. My problem right now is leaving Riley. She had decompression surgery last June for severe and advanced SM and I can't bear the thought of leaving her - even with my husband!!! I have taken her with me whenever I get the chance. She is becoming quite the air traveler (wish she could get frequent flier miles!). I just don't feel that anyone else can take as good care of her or monitor her like I do. She still has some vestibular problems and we've been playing around with her meds for almost a year now. I just worry that someone else taking care of her might miss those subtle signs that something is going on neurologically with her. I do have to leave her over Memorial Day. We are going to a friend's 60th birthday party and staying at their house and the wife is allergic to dogs. But, I also wouldn't want to take her with us and leave her crated in a hotel room all day. For that weekend, all the dogs will be staying at another friend's house. She is an old Emergency Room Nurse so I trust her - but not as much as I trust myself with Riley!! Wish me luck though.

4th May 2009, 08:33 PM
I think she just viewed the suitcase as a variation on a dog bed. She definitely is not associating it with anything more than that. Dogs will react to our reaction to them. If you are packing and looking at them and feeling they look sad, then they will pick up on the fact that you are acting strangely and giving them extra attention and continue to do whatever is getting them the extra attention!

I never feel guilty leaving the dogs. They have fun meeting other dogs and playing with them -- it also isn't particularly healthy for a dog to be so dependent on an owner that it cannot happily mix with other dogs and people and it is good to allow them some independence. I can guarantee you -- from taking in loads of rescue dogs, fostering them out, knowing people who do home boarding, who run a kennels, and who run doggie daycare, that dogs *sometimes* MAY whine for about 2 minutes after owners leave -- but then are perfectly absolutely happy without them there. Believe me -- I cannot remember a SINGLE dog in 6 years that has had problems with an owner being away (as hard as this may be for our egos!)

Honestly: they will not be pining for their owners, so go and enjoy yourself without wasting time worrying about them. :thmbsup: People project a lot onto their dogs about what they think they are feeling. From working with dogs pretty closely in situations where they regularly are being moved to new places or staying in new situations or in foster/daycare/kennels/boarding, I honestly can tell you this is an owner projection, not how the dog actually feels. If a dog isn't comfortable being left around other friendly dogs, it is not being socialised adequately and that is something the owner needs to address as an urgent issue as it will affect that dog throughout its life and keep it from having a happy, well-balanced life. :thmbsup:

Brenda in SC
4th May 2009, 08:36 PM
I feel your pain! We are headed out of town soon too and I can really relate. I had no idea how bonded I was til I found out this place doesn't allow dogs.....we booked it way before we had little Rudy. I would sneak him in, but I know that would be miserable for everyone - including Rudy.

I know he will be well cared for, but it isn't making it any easier!

4th May 2009, 09:20 PM
I am going away in July for 2 weeks and as its our first proper holiday in 3 years I can honestly say I dont feel too guilty about leaving the dogs. They are being home boarded and I am completely satisfied that they will be well looked after. They will have the company of other dogs and they will get plenty of loving. I just look at it as if they are going on their own little holiday :D I would probably feel more guilty if they were going into kennels.

4th May 2009, 09:22 PM
Hi All, Haven't been on for a while as I've been having probs with computer. As Maddy is a rescue dog I have issues with putting her in kennels when we go on hols, so a dear friend usually takes very good care of her. However this year our summer holiday has coincided! I asked at my vet if they knew anyone who took in pets while owners were away & the lovely receptionist (who I've known for years) recommended 3 people who she would personally vouch for. I went to see the guy she rated highly & have made a new friend :p He & his partner Mark have 2 fabulous dogs who got on so well with Maddy. We had been in the house 5 minutes & Maddy had fallen asleep with both dogs while we chatted over a cup of tea :p. So it may be worth asking at you vets if they can recommend someone. It costs about 5 more per day more than boarding kennels but in my opinion well worth it. Don't think for one minute I won't worry about Maddy, I do when she's with my friend, but this is a good alternative. Judy x

4th May 2009, 09:55 PM
Karlin, what a reassuring post. I so understand the guilt of leaving our dogs for vacation. I went through it twice so far, but fortunately, I had my husband home, so Brian was fine. I still worried that he'd miss me, but it appears he didn't, although, he was overjoyed to see me when I got back home, as shown by his jumping all over me like crazy!

I'm researching kennels/boarding just to have that info for any future travels where Brian can't stay home with family.

4th May 2009, 10:56 PM
I am glad you posted that Karlin. I was already dreading leaving Dixie in November for 8 days. I still am, but I will try to remember your post and not let it spoil my vacation.....

5th May 2009, 12:41 AM
Karlin, I found your post to be very reassuring and enlightening, and will remember this the next time I'm feeling so bad about vacationing.

We are fortunate to have a very wonderful woman who watches Sasha and several other dogs in her home. I just don't think I'd be able to leave Sasha at a place where she'd need to stay in a crate.

5th May 2009, 12:48 AM
It's nice to be reminded of how much the dogs enjoy their "holiday" Karlin. We are getting ready to go away for two weeks and I am feeling bad leaving them. In my heart I know they will have a great time. They stay with a lovely couple who boards small dogs in their home. I remember one time Mindy was the only dog other than their own so they went to a nearby provincial park for their daily hikes. She sulked when she got home because her walks had been so much more fun!

I do worry about leaving Mindy as she is getting older but I also know that she probably appreciates not having to be Max's only four legged playmate.