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View Full Version : When will I get a good nights sleep again??



team bella
1st November 2009, 06:37 PM
:cry*ing:Well Jessie has been in the house for 5 nights now and each night is the same...nightmare. I expected her to cry the first couple of nights but to start to settle down. I have never heard screams and yelling like it in my life. I actually thought something terrible was happening to her and went to see what was wrong. It happens about 3 or 4 times a night and the whole house is awake. I have left the radio on for her, put my fleece in her bed, not went to her when she's crying but nothing is helping. I put her to bed for periods during the day just to get her used to time on her own, I don't make a fuss when I leave her and don't fuss when I go back to her. I don't know what else to do. What an I doing wrong ????

Yorkysue
1st November 2009, 07:02 PM
I don't think you are doing anything wrong. Some dogs are really laid-back, and settle in straight away, and others take longer for all sorts of reasons. Jessie is one of those! I know what you mean about the screaming - it sounds as if the end of the world has happened!!

I would carry on doing more of the same for a bit longer, maybe try and tire her out just before bed and invest in some earplugs? Hope you don't have close neighbours.
Otherwise, if you really think she won't settle (and this is a matter for only you) I have heard that people will put their puppy cage in the bedroom for the first week or two until puppy feels more confident and settled, and then move it downstairs again, and this has worked. :) Good Luck

Karlin
1st November 2009, 07:08 PM
when I go back to her.

That's your problem. Simply by returning, you reward her behaviour as she gets attention and your presence. You need to ignore this, as difficult as this is. if you want her to remain elsewhere. :flwr: Many of us have been there with adults, rescues and puppies. Best advice is to invest in some earplugs. Also: Is she all by herself or with other dogs? As noted pups are a lot happier sleeping in a bedroom or with other dogs, rather than left entirely on their own -- she has gone from the warmth nd security of a puppy pack to what to her is total abandonment. In her mind, that places her survival at risk and she is going to howl for attention.

team bella
1st November 2009, 07:22 PM
I don't go back to her when she yells, that was only once when I thought there was some sort of slaughter taking place, as I'd never heard anything like it. When I say I go back to her I mean in the morning or when I've been out anyware. She is on her own at night as Bella is still a little unsure of her. We're actually renting a flat from a friend until we move to our new place in Scotland next month. The good thing is the flat above is empty as the doctor who lived there moved out this week.(Before Jessie arrived of course). I'll stick with it at the moment and see how it goes and just pray.

pikkupupu
1st November 2009, 07:33 PM
Is she sleeping in the same room with you? If yes, then you could try putting your hand down from the bed to her, so that she can feel that you are here. Then,when she feels more confident, you can change it onto something that really smells like you. If not, some advise to put a warm bottle and ticking clocks in her bed. That can remind her of her littermates and mommy because most likely she is crying because she is scared and is missing her previous family.

Also, maybe the puppy wants to go to the toilet? Did you try walking her out? Minnie woke up in the middle of the night and cried because her bladder was full.

SamT
1st November 2009, 08:02 PM
It will all stop eventually, dont worry!! Sam settled after a week. We had a dog playpen for ours and they slept in that. Charlie took months to settle, he used to wake in the middle of the night and scrape and cry but we just ignored it, we knew he was safe. I would say he was crying to get to Sam because Sam was allowed to sleep in the big boy bed when Charlie arrived and Sam was only 4 months. Sam was house trained by then, he just stopped when he was moved out of the playpen. You just have to keep it up and dont go down to him. Its worth it in the end. Our two sleep downstairs and cuddle up on the couch together or their bed they sleep for the night. No trouble anymore!!!! Well they might be in for a shock in a few weeks when baby arrives and starts to wake them with their crying!!

Tania
1st November 2009, 08:15 PM
Canine concepts sell this puppy comforter http://www.canineconcepts.co.uk/item--Bonzo-Comforter-Heat-Pad--bonzo---dogs

The puppy probably feels a bit lonely, when we got our puppies the same thing happened, we gave in almost straight away, they both sleep in the bedroom with us!

renate
1st November 2009, 09:53 PM
at the risk of offending, here is my view of this matter:

i seem to be the only one here who thinks that letting a puppy cry and screem with loneliness and probably also fear of being left alone is not right at all.
how will this small dog ever be able trust completely in a person who is supposed to be responsible (pack leader or whatever one wants to call it), when this person leaves him alone in loneliness and fear, instead of doing the obvious thing, which is to take the little thing into the room where the person sleeps?
the puppy can be in its crate, as long as it is allowed to be in the room with its person/s. what is so wrong about that?

when my cavaliers were puppies i never ever left them on their own at night.
either the puppy was in its crate beside my bed, so that i could touch and comfort it when it was crying, or it simply slept in my bed.

none of my dogs have ever attempted to become topdogs in my household, taking control etc. which i believe is one myth about what happens when one comforts a small dog who is crying with fear and loneliness.
i really do not agree that they howl merely for attention.

none of my dogs is spoilt, has bad manners or pesters me for this or that.
they ar delightful companions who trust me completely, which is one reason why they all do so well at competitions.

who would let a small baby cry itself to sleep? i think the times when such things were practised are long gone.
and why on earth is it supposed to be right to do this to a puppy?

i am sorry if i offend, but i simply cannot see the logic in ignoring the cries of a lonely 'baby'.
i do not think it contributes in a positive way to a trusting and respectful relationship between dog and owner.

antigone
2nd November 2009, 12:41 AM
Actually, I wondered the same thing when I had human babies. The Absolute Command then (and here) at the time was to put the infant in his/her own room and ignore the crying. I thought it was going to make me crazy! Two weeks after I had my first baby I weighed 10 pounds less than BEFORE I was pregnant. And (unlike now!) I hadn't been at all over weight before I was pregnant. I was nursing my baby and I couldn't tell when he was hungry or cold or lonely. La Lache League (which promotes breast feeding) said to nurse the baby when the baby cried and I was getting up all the time, nursing my baby and falling asleep and drooling all over his head. Finally I just decided that I could not stand it any more. I made a little bed for him that was connected to the bed where his father and I slept. He wasn't really IN the bed with us but his little bed did not have any divider between where I slept and where he slept. When he cried in the night I could just reach over and scoot him over to me and nurse him. He stopped crying all the time and I finally got some sleep. When I tried to justify my actions to all the people who thought it was the wrong thing to do, I pointed out that puppies never sleep alone when they are little. Puppies almost always sleep in a little pile, over and under each other. And so do other little baby animals. That it is UNNATURAL for baby mammals to sleep alone.

So I agree with renate. I think that tiny puppies need to sleep close to their new parent(s). It is too frightening for them to suddenly be all alone. Also, most baby mammals are NOT that good at regulating their own body temperature for quite a while after they are born. They still need a lot of help with everything and they "know" it instinctively (I think). Making baby mammals sleep all alone far away from help is not kind and doesn't exactly set up a relationship of trust.

Just my opinion, though. I have absolutely no facts to support it so take it for what it is worth!

Kathy

waldor
2nd November 2009, 02:18 AM
I agree with renate, also. Every new puppy of ours has cried, barked and howled until we brought it into our bedroom to sleep. In its own crate, of course.

They need the companionship after being plucked from their litter and sibs. After a month or two ( or three ) they each happily slept in their crate, in a different room. They learned the crate was their bed, were accustomed to the house, and felt safe.

With our Cavalier, if she stirred during the night in her crate - in our bedroom - during the first couple weeks, I would say a few words to assure her and she went right back to sleep.

She knows her place in our family, and is not spoiled rotten.

tara
2nd November 2009, 03:32 AM
I agree with Renate as well. When my humans were babies, they were never left alone to "cry it out." This was (and still is, I'm sure) a very controversial subject, but I thought if they are crying it's my responsibility as their mother and lifeline to comfort them. My kids are now 7 and 3 and go to bed on their own, sleeping comfortably through the night.

When Holly came here as a 12 week old puppy, she slept in her crate. But the crate was in the master bedroom, near my side of the bed. I had a night light on in the room and Holly faced me while in her crate. I found that she got up a couple of times during the night, looked at me, then settled back down. She slept through the night from around midnight to 6 or 7 am. Gradually, that time lengthened.

When she was 6 months old she joined us in the big bed. That really was my choice, not necessarily hers. I enjoy sleeping with her as my husband travels frequently for work.

Perhaps you could try moving the crate to your bedroom, near your bed?

Cathy T
2nd November 2009, 03:38 AM
Interesting information on both schools of thought. I expect I would do things a little differently with future dogsthan I did with Jake. I like the idea of the crate in the bedroom until they are able to comfortably sleep on their own. Shelby was so easily, she just settled right in. I have done the crate in the bedroom with fosters as they were coming to me at an older age. I really enjoyed hearing both sides of what works for everyone. Some good food for thought. I'm from the school of "let them cry it out"....but you've given me some really good things to think on for the future.

Jay
2nd November 2009, 04:25 AM
My dogs sleep in their own crates in my bedroom. Four crates in a small bedroom doesn't leave much room for much else, but I like having them near. When Gem and Monty were pups, if they started to cry or wimper, I would talk to them gently. Sapphire and Harley came to me as adults. Sometimes I get awakened by Harley's snoring....his snoring could wake up the dead!
J.

SamT
2nd November 2009, 04:55 PM
I dont agree with Renate however it does depend on each situation and how you run your household. We did let Charlie cry when he first came and it did him no harm. He is the happiest dog and always wags his tail. Sam only cryed for a few days then settled into his own sleeping pattern. When we come down the stairs in the morning Charlie runs up to you wagging his tail delighted to see you.

We are due a baby in 4 weeks and the baby will sleep in our room for 6 months and if everything is ok please god will be moved into their own room. I did this with my first child and he is now 9 and goes to bed at 8 and gets up at 8 and we have no trouble getting him to go to bed. Babies cry for a number of reasons one of them is if they cant see you or are unsure someone is around. A parent knows the different crys after bonding with the baby. You can let a baby know you are there but not pick them up and this reassurs them you will always be around. Its part of their development. The rule is not let a baby cry its dont pick them up immediately when they start to cry.

Our pups sleep downstairs together, they have a sofa, a big cushion and a bed to choose from. They are happy and healthy.

I do feel that having the dogs in the room with you can affect you relationship with your hubby or wife, but if it was just me on my own I would have the dogs in the bed with me!! Everyone should do what works best for them as baby/kid/doggie parents, no one gets it 100%.

team bella
2nd November 2009, 10:29 PM
When Bella was a pup she slept in the kitchen. At first she cried a little bit for a few nights and then after that nothing. She would even take herself off to bed at 9pm and that was her until 7am. She is a very confident and friendly, and enjoyed her Good Citizen training and reached Gold Standard. The fact that she slept on her own never effected her and she never suffered separation anxiety. She has slept on the sofa for the past 12 months no problem. I can't leave Jessie in the living room with her, because she is not house trained and Bella is still learning to live with her. Jessie is a completly different pup from Bella. Like Bella she is very confident and outgoing, but just wants to be with you all the time. Last night I tried everything again and tried extra hard to exhaust her before bedtime. I got into bed and all hell broke loose, with increadable howling and yelling with no prospect of stopping. In desperation (night no 6) and against my better judgement, I went to her and popped her into the pet carrier with her comfort blanket. I brought her into the bedroom, and placed her next to my bed. She went straight to sleep and did not stir until 8am.
Based on that I have gone out and bought a crate and will allow her in the bedroom tonight. Fingers crossed I will have a restful night. Next month we will be in our new house and hopefully both dogs will have bonded, and I will attempt to move her out of the bedroom and downstairs. I'll keep you posted.

Love my Cavaliers
2nd November 2009, 10:57 PM
There's no right or wrong way here - and every pup, like every child is different. We put Oliver in our room in his crate for the first year. Then he started snoring so we put his crate right outside our bedroom. We got Riley when she was 11 months old and we put her in a crate next to Oliver and she was fine from day one. By the time Madison came along, we were in a new house and all three of them slept in their own room - Oliver and Riley on doggie beds and Maddie in a crate. Same thing with Oz, but now three dogs on doggie beds and Oz in the crate. Now,things have changed again. When Riley had her SM decompression surgery, I couldn't stand to have her out of my sight. So, we put her in a crate right by my side of the bed. When she had recovered enough to be out of the crate without fear of jumping, she slept on the bed. She now sleeps right at the foot of the bed and doesn't move all night. Oliver has decided that he too would like to sleep with us, but he sleeps in his own bed on the floor. Oz and Maddie sleep in their own room because they are crazy in bed and move every time I do and have to sleep on me or pressing up to me. So, they're on their own and it seems like it's working well for all of us. When they know it's bedtime, Oz and Maddie go into their room, Riley climbs the stairs into my bed and Oliver lies down in his bed. Everyone is happy and we get a good night's sleep every night (except when I have to get up and pee 2-4 times a night - this getting older stuff is not always fun!).

Mindysmom
2nd November 2009, 11:47 PM
Max started out sleeping in a crate in our room (Mindy sleeps in our bed). He has never been a great sleeper. I probably got in the habit of taking him out when he whined at all for far too long as I didn't want him having to pee in his crate. He consistently woke up between three and 4 a.m. Finally at about 4 or five months I moved his crate downstairs. It made a big difference. I think he was getting no sleep because sadly, dh, Mindy, and I all snore. He still wakes early but he is never vocal - he scratches the bottom of his crate. Rylie came home and slept beside Max. Only on one occasion (this past week in fact) he made a huge fuss shortly after I put him to bed so I did let him outside. Sure enough, he had to pee and poo. In the dark I guess I didn't notice that he was too busy running around to do his business when I let him out. I don't know how long he'd sleep in the morning - longer than Max that's for sure.

Cathy T
2nd November 2009, 11:51 PM
There's no right or wrong way here - and every pup, like every child is different


Isn't that true?? After reading all of these responses you can really tell how different each dog is.

tara
3rd November 2009, 12:06 AM
Exactly, there's no right or wrong way -- just go with what works for you and your household. I found that hearing my babies cry (human or furry) was more disturbing than the work involved in going to them when they were crying or having them nearby so that they didn't cry. I have an extremely low threshold for any crying -- that of my kids / animals or other people's. But that doesn't mean that my kids / pets are happier or better adjusted just because I can't stand to hear crying. I really believe that every individual needs to decide what works for them and to &^$# with what others think! Breastfeeding was an example of this -- I'm aware of the health benefits to infants, but I just couldn't make it work and struggled with every feeding. I stopped after a couple weeks with my first baby (and didn't even start with my second). I felt the "heat" of those who clearly thought I shouldn't feed my babies a bottle.

It sounds like your little one is on her way to letting you sleep. Just keep going with what feels right and remember that they're only babies for a very short time. That was the beauty of my second child -- I knew that "this too shall pass!"

Margaret C
3rd November 2009, 12:33 AM
We have two little chins that expect to come on the bed each night. Benny sleeps on my pillow.

The other seven dogs don't even try to come in at night , they sleep on blankets by the bedroom door or on a dog bed, wherever they please.
We have a dog flap & a walled garden, so no problems as long as there are no hedgehogs paying a late night, or early morning, visit

All the dogs come in when my husband gets up. I get smothered by fur.

When he is away they all head for the bed as I turn out the lights, & I am lucky if I can even get my legs under the covers.

SuzRN
3rd November 2009, 04:36 AM
Chelsea slept in her crate in my room till she was spay. Came home with an E-collar too big to fit in the crate, put her on the bed and no problems since unless she is sick(tummy probs). She never cried or made a fuss in her crate and would sleep for hours.

Vivian was a crate girl for only about 3-4 months. Same thing, crate next to bed, but would get me up at least once a night or cry. At about 4-5 months, just gave up one night, put her on the bed and no problems except once (on the bed). Play with her trying to tire out and make her go out to potty just before bed, now in morning, she will use the dog door if she needs to go out before I have her go.

I think they are individual just like others have posted.

gocamping
3rd November 2009, 03:18 PM
I am glad to see so many different opinions here. As a parent and owner of furkids, I can say that there is no right or wrong answer. Each one is different. I don't believe in letting them cry it out in another room.

For the dogs, I usually purchase a snuggle puppy and take it to the breeder to get the Mom's scent on it. This gives the new pup something familiar. If this isn't an option, then I sleep with it for a few nights so it has my scent on it.

Our dogs are crated at night, but the new puppy is close to me so I can reassure him/her. Once you get them on a good schedule, you will be able to tell when they are milking the system for attention rather than having to go out. I usually just say, no, no, good night. I listen and can tell when they settle.

Whichever way you pick try to stay consistent. If it is working, keep going. If not, you may have to try a few things.

Oh, did I mention we have a 6 month old puppy, so I just recently had all those sleepless nights!

team bella
3rd November 2009, 06:53 PM
Well last night was a great success and Jessie went to sleep with no problem at all. She slept all night with not a sound. I think that I now have the solution and she seems perfectly happy with the new arrangement. As I said in my earlier post, I will try to move her after we have settled in the new home next month.
Thank you all for your opinions, it really is a case of all pups a different, and try to work it out.

Cathy T
3rd November 2009, 07:08 PM
Bet you both feel a lot better this morning!! ;) What works for one may not work for another.....but there are plenty of options to keep trying til you find the one that works. Glad you found the one tha works for you and hope you continue to get a good night's sleep.

renate
3rd November 2009, 07:34 PM
oh, i am glad that it works. was pretty sure that it would, though....:):)

nothing like a good night's sleep, for you and the puppy.
this is probably not 'only' the solution of the sleeping-problem, but possibly also contributes to a trusting and close relationship between you and jessie.

chloe92us
3rd November 2009, 08:26 PM
I'm so glad you got a good night's sleep last night. When Ollie was a pup, he always whined and carried on when he would go in the crate too. I kept it right by my bed and it had a zipper top, so I would dangle my hand in there. Once he grew big enough and realized he could crawl out the top, he just slept in the bed with us from then on. Now, at 2 years old, he's started sleeping in his crate again at night on his own. Now we're down to just one dog in the bed and it's kinda nice (although I love it in the morning when they all climb into bed with me)! :rolleyes:

Yorkysue
3rd November 2009, 08:37 PM
I'm glad you and Jessie are now getting your beauty sleep:biggrin:

team bella
3rd November 2009, 10:03 PM
I'm glad you and Jessie are now getting your beauty sleep:biggrin:
Thanks, I need it

Brian M
3rd November 2009, 10:18 PM
Hi renate

Totally with you .Lily is in her own cratw right by my bed ,and the other three all have their own crate but sleep side by side downstairs and all are happy:) ,me as well :)

waldor
4th November 2009, 04:10 AM
Well last night was a great success and Jessie went to sleep with no problem at all.

Sounds like you have fund a workable solution.


I will try to move her after we have settled in the new home next month

That is a very good idea.