View Full Version : Update on Ruby Mae. I am heartbroken

24th November 2009, 11:56 PM
I posted here a bit over the last two weeks about Ruby Mae and the curve in her spine.
We had several specialists look at her, or her Xrays. All said the same thing.
She has severe scoliosis with several malformed vertebrae. Her prognosis depends on whether she develops neurological signs. They feel that since she is so young, 13 weeks now, and since it is so severe she is unlikely to make it to adulthood as it will get worse as she grows.

I consulted with 3, truly 3, child therapists around my daughter. They all said the same thing: it will be harder to grow more attached over time AND to watch RubyMae suffer and/or decline.

Over the last several days I have already noticed that RubyMae is stiff when she first gets going and she limps on her right back leg. She also will sometimes run with a reciprocal gait and then she starts doing a "bunny hop" and both legs move together.

The breeder promised me she will keep her. She has many dogs and she will have Ruby MAe live with her. Her plan will be to work closely with her vet when RubyMae starts to have pain.

We brought her on sunday and have already set up a date to visit next week.
When we brought her in we put her in the room with her two brothers who are still there. They all went up to each other and licked her face, and she licked them. It was like they remembered her. She then proceeded to play and played happily with her brothers the whole time we stayed. The breeder emailed yesterday and told me about Ruby's day.

I understand fully that the breeder may still turn around and PTS but I pray she is true to her word.
I feel incredibly SAD and GUILTY. I feel like I broke a promise to this little pup. I listened to what was best for my child and acted as a mom but as a pet lover I feel awful.

We are in search of another. I don't really know if I am ready but we will look and I pray the pup we are meant to have will find its way to us.

Thanks for your support. You are a great group. Try not to judge me too hard for giving her back


25th November 2009, 12:14 AM
Noone will judge you.
You explored every avenue that you could and if there was anything to be done for her I know you would have done it with a heart and a half.
She'll be happy back with her little pack .
Of course you're sad,but please don't feel guilty.Sometimes we're powerless to change what nature has decided and it can be very difficult,especially when it's a first family pet.
You have to put your child first,and we all have to make decisions that we'd rather not have to.
You will of course find another,and hopefully will be a part of your family and grow up with your daughter and give her many happy childhood memories.
I'm truly sorry that this has happened.

25th November 2009, 01:18 AM
You did the right thing. You really had no other option. As much as we all love our dogs, of course you have to do what is right for your daughter and your family. I hope you find some peace in knowing that.

I'm truly sorry that you had to make this difficult decision. :flwr:

25th November 2009, 01:27 AM

Just to let you know I am thinking of you.



Love my Cavaliers
25th November 2009, 01:50 AM
I am heartbroken for you and have tears in my eyes as I write this. I can't imagine the agony you are feeling. Keep in touch with the breeder and it may set your mind at ease a bit to know how she's progressing. You also have a young daughter to think about and although it pains me to say it, she is more important than a dog. It pains me to say it because I have 4 cavaliers and can't imagine my life without them. I hope another cavalier comes into your life when you are ready. Despite the health issue (and Ruby Mae's issues seem to be an isolated event) they are the most wonderful breed.

Cathy T
25th November 2009, 02:33 AM
I honestly think you did the right thing by Ruby Mae....not an easy thing to do, but the right thing. Given the kind of condition she is in at that young of an age, I'm afraid she is only going to get worse. What you did was so brave but really for the best both for Ruby and your family. It sounds like her breeder will keep her happy for as long as she has a good quality of life. I'm really glad to hear you called her and she has been so supportive and has agreed to take Ruby Mae back. I think this would be much too difficult for your young child to go through. Sure, we want children to understand that pets will die before us, but there was really no good reason for her to watch as Ruby Mae deteriorated before her eyes, just not fair to her or Ruby Mae....or you. Sounds like she will be in good hands and taken care of.

Please don't feel guilty. You made the right decision and no one can judge you for that.

25th November 2009, 09:13 AM
I am so sorry that you had to make this decision, but to be fair - you didn't do it lightly, or immediately return Ruby Mae, you gave it a lot of thought and did lots of research, so please don't feel guilty, you did your absolute best for her and your family.
I don't think anyone will judge you for what you did, the opposite in fact.
I hope a lovely, healthy bundle of fur finds its way to your home very soon. It will be one lucky dog when it does.

25th November 2009, 11:08 AM
Please don't feel guilty you've done the very best for poor RubyMae in an extremely difficult situation.

I hope when you are ready that you will find a new Cavalier to brighten your lives - they will never replace RubyMae but will help to fill the whole that she has left.

25th November 2009, 11:09 AM
I am so sorry you are going through this. Please don't feel guilty. You did everything you could for Ruby Mae. You had to do what was right for your daughter. I hope you are able to welcome a healthy puppy into your home soon. He/she will be lucky to have you. :hug:

25th November 2009, 11:34 AM
I am truly sorry that you are going through this, it really is so sad.
I can feel your heartbreak.

25th November 2009, 01:25 PM
Jo, Nobody on this board will judge you harshly, why should they? You have considered all options and made the right decision for all concerned.

I believe that things happen for a reason (although its not always easy to comprehend) and that Ruby Mae was sent to visit your family so that she would know love. She is now back home with her doggy family and her breeder will once again take care of her.

I hope in the not too distant future another little soul who is looking for a home will bounce your way, and this time to stay.

25th November 2009, 03:24 PM
Just to let you know I am thinking of you, your daughter and Ruby Mae. What I hard thing to do but I am sure it was the right thing and it sounds like you have used this experience as a lesson as well. You may need a little space but I hope you will open your home and heart to another dog again. You sound like people who will be wonderful caretakers.

25th November 2009, 06:59 PM
Thats very sad but you did the right thing. It would be too upsetting for a young child to get attached to a pup and watch them suffer and then loose them. When you get a puppy for your child you hope and pray that the pup will grow old with your family and that your child will grow up and understand this and all that comes with old age.

heather r
25th November 2009, 08:58 PM
Thinking of you and your family! You did the correct thing for your family. Years ago a friend bought a shih tzu and took him to the vet where he was diagnosed with a severe brain injury ( it's so long ago that I don't remember the exact type). After thinking for several days my friend took the pup back, also because of her children. I didn't mention this earlier because each must make their own decision.

Soon she found a healthy pup and I hope for the same result for you. Please don't feel guilty.

Kind thoughts heading your way.

Heather R

team bella
25th November 2009, 09:10 PM
So sorry. :hug::hug:God Bless

25th November 2009, 09:23 PM
Jo, so sorry you find yourself in this awful situation, I really feel for you.

Margaret C
26th November 2009, 12:02 AM
Hello Jo,

How can we judge you harshly, we have been with you all the way & know how much you cared.

I am just so sorry that you have had to make such a painful decision.

You could not have done more, you explored every option and in the end you had no choice but to put your little daughter's welfare first.

Take care of yourself, you have had a very hard time.

Best wishes

Karen and Ruby
26th November 2009, 12:33 AM
I am sooo sorry things didnt work out for you and hope it doesnt put you off Cavvies.

She is in good hands im sure and so nice of the breeder to keep you updated.
You must be completely heartboken xx

26th November 2009, 12:37 AM
Hi, I am sure you did the right thing...my thoughts are with you.