View Full Version : Having Children vs. Cavaliers
1st November 2010, 10:15 PM
I am single, still feel that I am just out of college but all my friends have children. Ella is my child but going through all of this with her, I don't know how I could manage a child.
Disclosure*** I am no way thinking of having children in the near future***
So this is a question to all the parents. I have been an emotional roller coaster about Ella these days. With what to do for her eye, am I making the right choice for SM, am I doing this. What if that. etc. I know this is silly but with a dog, they can not tell you what they are feeling, so it has to be harder to diagnose or figure out what's going on right? :razz: Say yes....
Now I know that it is harder with children and I don't want to think if you say it is or isn't you are in someway going to influence my future, but it has been hard.
I just had to vent because even though ella is just a dog (no one on this forum would ever say that), I think I know what my mother meant when she said I was driving her crazy:fool:
1st November 2010, 10:40 PM
just had to vent because even though ella is just a dog (no one on this forum would ever say that), I think I know what my mother meant when she said I was driving her crazy:fool:
Ella is your little girl. You are totally devoted to her and you do what is best for her and most of all you give her all your love, Ella will know this . It is a tragedy these dogs are cursed with such a cruel disease.
I do not have children, Molly, Dougall and Dotty are my little family they are my parents favourite grandchildren, they even get pocket money and are more spoilt than the human children :luv: My mother has given up and has accepted the furry variety...
1st November 2010, 10:42 PM
Of course its hard to know the right things to do. The vet makes the suggestions and gives you options but the decisions ultimately fall to you.
I'm sorry you are going through a tough time with Ella but you are doing your best for her and things will start getting easier I am sure once decisions are made.
I wouldn't worry about having to trade off cavaliers and children, I have 3 cavaliers and 2 children (cavs are winning!) and its fine. I have had sick cavaliers and sick children but all we can do is our best. We have lots of fun times as a family with kids and dogs and when the time is right for you to have babies you will just know :p
2nd November 2010, 02:48 AM
I think the difference between dogs and children is that children grow up and eventually are able to take care of themselves, whereas dogs depend on you throughout their lifetimes.
The love you feel for both children and dogs is so intense, and you really can't measure or compare them.
One day you'll be ready to have children, and you will be a wonderful and loving mother. You will somehow know the right thing to do, or at least you'll do your best.
That's what you're doing with Ella, and how can you ask anymore of yourself than that? Trust yourself and your instincts; this will guide you. Ella is so lucky to have you for a mommy!!
2nd November 2010, 05:29 AM
I have two children, but I really consider Holly to be my third child! The love, stress, frustration, confusion, etc. that you feel in caring for Ella is very much like what mothers of human kids feel for their little ones. I've heard the saying that you're only as happy as your least happy child -- and I completely understand the sentiment.
If / when you choose to become a mother to human kids, I've no doubt you'll be a great one! It is the hardest job on the planet, but the most wonderful one at the same time. I think the responsibility of decision making is just a really difficult one to bear. As children grow, they are able to make their own decisions, but with dogs that's obviously different. At times the weight of caring for children (furry or human) and being solely responsible for their well-being is completely overwhelming. But ... it's a burden that good parents welcome. And the day to day responsibilities have a way of "numbing" the larger picture -- sometimes this is good and sometimes bad.
In the end, we can only pledge to do our best on behalf of our little charges.
2nd November 2010, 12:03 PM
I have three children aged 21, 18 and 15 and my two dogs are my babies. The feelings I have for the dogs and the worries I have are very similar to how felt about my kids when they were young. Dylan has SM and has recently had eye surgery (we thought he was going to lose the eye) so I understand what you are going through. The most heartache is caused by not knowing how much pain he is in or how much he is suffering, so yes I think in that way it can be harder with a dog.
You may decide in the future that you would like children but you will know when that time comes. For the time being just carry on doing your best for Ella that's all any of us can do.
2nd November 2010, 12:13 PM
I have two boys, aged 19 and 16 and they are always telling me off for having loads of photos of the dogs on my camera and phone, and none of them!
I think its a different love for dogs- you have to be their advocate when they are sick - they can't tell the vet how they are feeling, you have to do all that kind of stuff for them. Of course you have to do something similar for your children, but at least with them they can usually give you a steer, especially when they get older.
I love my kids and I love my dogs, Annie, when the time comes, you will have room in your heart for both :-)
2nd November 2010, 12:21 PM
I have 1 boy aged 26 (still living at home).
He is always saying that Cinders & Minnie get more love and attention than he does.:lol:
They are my two baby girls as they are so dependent on you for the whole of their life.
However I would go to the end of the earth for my son and he certainly has a big place in my heart, but the girls have their own place too.:l*v:
2nd November 2010, 12:22 PM
My twenty year old son joked that my dogs are more spoiled than he and his brother were when they lived at home. My reply was "They come when they are called, nearly always do what they are told, smother me with kisses when I walk in the door and worship the ground I walk on - so what's your point?":p
I fuss over my dogs now like I did with my kids - I think they are glad (the kids that is) that I have someone else to fuss over. My youngest requests that we bring the dogs when we go to visit him for a weekend.
13th November 2010, 03:06 AM
Those posts gave me a laugh! I know I have a big heart so when or if I meet Mr. Right instead of Mr. Rightnow it will be different.
I know its a different kind of love but love is the key word. Never can have too much of that
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13th November 2010, 03:12 AM
Tania, ella is my parents favorite grandpup. Granted they have 8 nephews and a niece, but ella is dear to them. So much so that my mom asked when can she see ella (not me!) So I guess I can feel like one of the family when my sister says they just want to see the grandchildren (and my pup)! Makes me feel good
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13th November 2010, 04:39 AM
No doubt you will make a great mother! I think our furry children (I call mine "humanal" :D )may even prepare us better for the day a real one comes along.
I want children someday but if i ever were in a situation were we couldnt conceive I'd happily take on a house full of cavies instead. Maybe 4 or 5??? :thmbsup:
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