View Full Version : guilty about leaving SM dog behind..
11th November 2010, 05:13 PM
So, I'm going on vacation for ten days in december, and I'm already feeling so guilty about leaving Blondie behind. I live in NYC, and my roomate will be here @ night and I will get a dogwalker once a day to come and take care of her (still need to find one) , but I still feel guilty about leaving my special needs child. I'm scared people won't notice when something is wrong... Anybody recognizes this feeling?
Karen and Ruby
11th November 2010, 10:46 PM
I understand exactly how you feel!
I feel resentment EVERY day going to work and leaving Ruby behind. Ever since splitting up with my ex-partner in January she has had to cope with being left as we always used to work seperate shifts.
I spent a long time looking for a good dog walker to come in and look after her and Charlie while im at work and found a wonderful lady who had some back ground knowledge of SM and had police checks, canine first aid and she isa behaviourist as well.
She understands Ruby and now after looking after them for nearly a year recognises when she isn't feeling well and will leave her at home and just take Charlie out if she feels its nesersary. Letting her in the garden instead.
The longest I have ever been away from them is 3 nights while I attended a course and then they stayed with my parents. They have made a real effort to read up on SM and even then I still worry constantly if she is ok.!
12th November 2010, 10:07 AM
Yes,it is hard.
However,it's been a long year for you too and you need a break and some time for yourself.You'll feel guilty for the first two days,but you'll slowly begin to relax and you can get some reassurance from daily phonecalls.
12th November 2010, 04:29 PM
thanks guys. i guess calling in daily is the thing to do... Not ever going on vacation anymore is not a solution either.. I'm sure she would want mommy to have fun and get a nice tan! Sure wish she could come along though. (she loves flying) But i dont think a cavaliers are aloud in the Dominican Republic. lol
13th November 2010, 02:42 AM
I feel for you and agree with sins. I recently had to leave ella for almost a week for work. Being away can be tough but like sins said, its been a tough year for you. Sometimes I struggle with taking care of myself because all my thoughts, worries, feelings are tied to ella. I love her very much but I have to remember that I need to be strong for her. Taking a vacation (mentally, physically) will not only do you good but also blondie.
Dogs are very tied to us and can pick up on things so its important to be positive, rested, and she will be fine. My breaks are work related so it sucks but here is what I do. I have a great friend who has been around ella through everything. Your roommate has been there so she can recognize if something is way off. One night two weeks ago my friend was out and our friend downstairs watched ella and was not used to things. After digging further there was a weather change.
So those things are important. I work all day but live near work so take her out at lunch. Ella used to go to daycare but she does not need that anymore (she sleeps). I'm sure she will be fine, have them send pictures everyday (always makes me feel better) and have information (dr, vet, med, info).
Most important, have a drink on the beach for me!
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13th November 2010, 05:42 AM
All the time. Leaving them is very difficult for me as well. But as the others have stated...... you need to recharge your battery. Have fun in DR!
Love my Cavaliers
13th November 2010, 03:02 PM
For a year after Riley's surgery I couldn't leave her with anyone, I wasn't even sure I trusted my husband. No one could look after her like me. No one would be alert to her subtle changes like I would be. So, we didn't go anywhere that she couldn't come, which didn't make my husband really happy. Eventually I realized that I was being obsessively over protectective and I have since learned to let go. It helps that she has stabilized on her meds. We were just gone to Peru for 17 days and I had someone stay in my house with the dogs. I didn't even call home once! She texted me periodically to say that everything was fine. So have a great time - warm sun, hot sand, drinks by the ocean, and recharge your batteries.
13th November 2010, 03:13 PM
I know it hard, I am currently on a 14 days break to see my aging mother, thousands of miles away, I left my sm dog in the care of my dog lover friend (she knows a bit about sm) she is also housesitting. She loves my dogs esp. the one with sm. I also have another friend to call in to see them from time to time. I sort out all the pills in a 14 days pill box and wrote on a list all the important numbers, most important is the neurologist's number incase of problems, I call every few days when I am online on skype, it helps me to know they are alright.
15th November 2010, 04:25 AM
I can totally relate. I just got back from a short 3 day trip and felt guilty
I left Jack with my mother (who I trust more than anyone) but still worried and made lists of meds, doctor numbers and called daily:eek:
I do agree with everyone, that you deserve a vacation and I am sure Blondie does want mom to be happy:)
Let me know if you need help finding a dog walker. I have a bunch of co-workers who live here in NYC and Brooklyn who use them.
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