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Jasper and Holly
27th April 2011, 12:41 AM
I just wanted to see what people think I should do.
When I lost my last Cav Sam 2 years ago I always said I would take his ashes and scatter them on the beach we always went on holidays. He loved it there. But I could never bring myself to take him down with us and set him free. I even found it hard to even go back there for a good while after we lost him as I found it too upsetting. Anyway we are going down again this weekend and my husband thinks we should take him and set him free. I just wondered what you guy's think?
Here he is loving it.
http://i1094.photobucket.com/albums/i450/Pom3182/PC020132.jpg

anders
27th April 2011, 09:29 AM
I think it's a really good idea when you'll come to the beach you will remember all the wonderful hours you've had together.
Set him free

Tania
27th April 2011, 10:50 AM
I think it's a really good idea when you'll come to the beach you will remember all the wonderful hours you've had together.
Set him free


I agree, when you have set him free, you can think of him being happy in the place he loved to play.

BrooklynMom
27th April 2011, 11:14 AM
Follow your heart. Somewhere in there (some might call it your gut, your intuition...I call it inner wisdom), somewhere in your inner wisdom you know what you want to do. That is not to say it won't be hard, some of the most joyful moments can also be really heavy, but if you follow your heart you will smile at the outcome.

Do what's right for you...and Sam. You could also pretend like you were just having a conversation with him (or if you feel funny talking out loud, write it down)...What would he tell you to do? What would you tell him? Why would you tell him it has been hard to let him go the past few years? How would he comfort you? Sometimes that can help a lot. You might be amazed at what he has to tell you :)

Good luck!

meljoy
27th April 2011, 12:43 PM
You have to do what you think best. But if you do scatter him on the beach what a lovely way to spend the day in future to sit there close your eyes and imagine him running across the sand:luv:

matties mum
27th April 2011, 05:41 PM
You will know when it is time follow your heart and the answers will come
---Aileen

James
27th April 2011, 07:29 PM
Following what others have said I advise you to take your time and not be pressurised by others in what to do, go to the beach, and if its not right for you wait even if it is another two years or more, you must do what you feel is right for you and Sam.

Nicki
27th April 2011, 08:50 PM
I think everyone has their own way of dealing with loss - we have written in to our wills that when both my husband and myself pass away, we would like our ashes to be scattered together with those of all the dogs, so we will always be together.

I know of someone who has arranged with an undertaker to have her coffin extended by a foot to leave room for the ashes of her dogs to be buried with her. My understanding is that generally the remains of animals are not allowed to be buried on consecrated ground and this may be a way around it!


We have a cabinet in our bedroom which contains the ashes of our dogs, together with a few favourite toys and locks of hair

these are the boxes - we love that they have the photos so it looks like a photo display

http://www.pbase.com/trevorhughes/image/132966356/original.jpg

we also have a memorial wall

http://www.pbase.com/trevorhughes/image/132966352/original.jpg


Don't rush a decision as you cannot go back on it - and I would hate for you to scatter his ashes and then regret it. You obviously have lovely memories of Sam running on that beach. Maybe take the ashes with you and see how you feel?


I'm sure Margaret wouldn't mind me saying, I know she scatters the ashes of her dogs at the beach near her holiday home in Norfolk where they run and play - it's lovely to think of them all together again there.

Soushiruiuma
27th April 2011, 10:57 PM
I do not mean to be negative, but where I am it's illegal to scatter ashes in most places, your laws may be different. You may want to check in advance if you aren't sure.

Whatever you choose to do, don't rush. You should be at peace with your decision before starting. I have my border collie's collar and one day I'll take his tags off and donate it to a shelter, but I haven't been able to do it yet, and it's been 2 years.

mommytoClaire
28th April 2011, 03:44 AM
That would be a hard decision. ON one hand you'd like to keep him with you, on the other, what a lovely place for you to leave him.

But, remember this.......Sam is forever with you, because you hold him in your heart. So, no matter what you decide, he is with you. He'll never leave because you hold all those wonderful memories in a special place just for him in your heart.

Jasper and Holly
29th April 2011, 04:03 AM
Thanks everyone for posting. I have decided to leave him at home as I'm still not ready to let him go yet. I do really appreciate your comments. I will let you know when I decide the time is right.

Kathleen
29th April 2011, 02:22 PM
I know how you feel.... When my previous dogs passed (a Lab mix and a Staffie mix) I knew exactly where to scatter their ashes and felt right doing it. With Jade it has been different. I can't let her go and am keeping her ashes for now and maybe for ever. It is different for each of us and I think for each precious dog we lose.

Blondiemonster
29th April 2011, 08:24 PM
Follow your heart. Somewhere in there (some might call it your gut, your intuition...I call it inner wisdom), somewhere in your inner wisdom you know what you want to do. That is not to say it won't be hard, some of the most joyful moments can also be really heavy, but if you follow your heart you will smile at the outcome.

Do what's right for you...and Sam. You could also pretend like you were just having a conversation with him (or if you feel funny talking out loud, write it down)...What would he tell you to do? What would you tell him? Why would you tell him it has been hard to let him go the past few years? How would he comfort you? Sometimes that can help a lot. You might be amazed at what he has to tell you :)

Good luck!

Very touching post Brooklyn's mom!

team bella
30th April 2011, 12:30 AM
If you don't feel ready then don't rush it. You'll know what do someday and if it means setting him free or keeping him close then only you will know. Personally if it was me I'd find it difficult to scatter the ashes, but thats just me.

Desrae
3rd May 2011, 05:10 PM
Hi, I was reading a while back how ashes can be turned into a glass ornament or piece of jewelry. Here is a link to the site: http://www.ashesintoglass.co.uk/?gclid=CLS945mGzKgCFYEc4QodZySPqA

It's a little bit unusual and a little bit pricey, but a lovely and sentimental way to keep a loved one close to you.
Whatever you do, good luck and his memory will live on in your hearts no matter what!

Jasper and Holly
3rd May 2011, 11:38 PM
Thanks for that link Desrae I will have a look at it.

Chamberlain
4th May 2011, 05:43 PM
How about bringing some of his ashes to the beach and keeping some in a keepsake box in a special place in your home?

If Sasha or Chamberlain should pass on while my husband is still in the service than we will have them cremated to bring with us until we move home and can bury them under a tree with a memorial bench and a marker. I do not think I could sprinkle them on a beach or out to sea. I like having a marker or memorial to see, feel, and talk to.

Margaret C
5th May 2011, 02:57 PM
Follow your heart. There is no right time or right way to do these things.

I scatter the ashes of my cavaliers on the beach where we have a holiday home.
I took William's ashes with me when I went up last week and have returned home again with them. I was not ready for that last act of letting go

He will join his Sire, his grandmother, his great grandfather, his half brothers, his nephew and many other much loved cavaliers ( and one little japanese chin ) who in my mind's eye play on the beach together, but it will be at a time that feels right for me.

Jasper and Holly
6th May 2011, 05:56 AM
I think like most of you have said I will know when the time is right. I got myself all upset going down last week just thinking about it. So I guess I'm not ready yet. Thanks everyone for your thoughts.