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anniemac
2nd May 2011, 05:25 PM
My Angel Ella - given her wings 2nd May 2011


I wrote a long post then erased it but might write more. I am overcome with emails, replies to her post on the other forum with her being sick and to help. I ask that one be closed and people say their peace here. I will email each one of you later but I don't want to erase messages and sometimes it's hard to fight the tears. I truly believe Ella touched so many and knowing that gives me some peace. She went through so much yet, would never lose her spirit. In the short life she had, she has brought me friends throughout the world and she will live in my heart forever. I will continue her blog www.fightforella.blogspot.com (http://www.fightforella.blogspot.com/) but this is something from a previous post about why I wanted a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.

PS. Here last weekend was at the beach (her favorite place). Maybe there was a reason for that. Maybe there is a reason for everything but I know she will be looking down with Rupert and others at Rainbows Bridge.

Why Did I Want a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel?



http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_J41rnW7kjvw/TKFiFyhLU0I/AAAAAAAAA0o/IEjiF_xqXyw/s1600/th_7f9546cc.jpg (http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_J41rnW7kjvw/TKFiFyhLU0I/AAAAAAAAA0o/IEjiF_xqXyw/s1600/th_7f9546cc.jpg)http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_J41rnW7kjvw/TKFiMzje0MI/AAAAAAAAA0s/hGMd5Dl2uo8/s1600/th_EMMASELLAPHOTO098.jpg (http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_J41rnW7kjvw/TKFiMzje0MI/AAAAAAAAA0s/hGMd5Dl2uo8/s1600/th_EMMASELLAPHOTO098.jpg)
I could say that Cavalier King Charles Spaniels are the best breed, but a more accurate statement is they are the best breed for me. My cousin has a weimaraner but she runs marathons and is active which did not run in the family. That dog is perfect for her. Could I see her with a Cavalier, no. Then there are the dogs that have functions, like police dogs, working dogs on farms, the hunters, watch dogs, etc. None of those fit my need.
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_J41rnW7kjvw/TKFi6-WItjI/AAAAAAAAA0w/VBjT3JRgXLw/s1600/has.jpg (http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_J41rnW7kjvw/TKFi6-WItjI/AAAAAAAAA0w/VBjT3JRgXLw/s1600/has.jpg)


I have always been in love with dogs. I used to draw the same dog over and over again when I was young. It just so happens that the dog looked exactly like Ella. Maybe I got the picture from the move Lady and the Tramp, or maybe I knew something about the future dog that would steal my heart. When I searched for a dog, I did not look for someone who had that image. Even though I think they are beautiful, I had a different reason for wanting one. I needed a dog that would show me the affection that I needed. I wanted a dog that would be by my side and want to lay with me in my lap and by my side. I have said that my choosing to have a dog was because I was in a difficult place and depressed. Someone (I don't think of her as a dog) that loved me unconditionally would be just what I needed. That might sound selfish but it was a mutual bond that I can not even describe.


When I was young I went through my parents divorce and it was extremely difficult for me. I got my first dog as a birthday present. Okay buying a child a dog may not be the best decision because Flip (my cocker spaniel) soon became my parents responsibility. However, there were times when I wanted to hide. I would hold on Flip and every thought would make things okay.


When I read about Cavaliers and there eagerness to please, show affection, complete love was what made me know this was the breed for me. Yes, Sex and the City, made me familiar with them, but it was not the social status of this breed or anything else that was my thoughts. When I went to see the puppies from a breeder I researched, I met Ella. She instantly came to me. She was not playing with the others but fell asleep in my arms and on my chest. I heard her heartbeat, I felt the bond and I fell instantly in love. Ella was not one of the puppies for sale. Actually the breeder was going to keep her for breeding. I have said God gave me Ella and maybe another reason was because she having SM would have saved others from this condition. I guess it is more complicated but she was my angel.


I was instantly lightened with joy. I had a purpose to live, and I will always be thankful to her. As I look into her eyes, I see that closeness. I feel so strongly that I sometimes can see to her soul. A dog having a soul maybe a stretch but there is something unique about dogs.

I have read stories and heard from friends about dogs having a sixth sense. I know personally, Ella will know when I am feeling a certain way and come to me for comfort. How can a dog sense that. The amazing tales of dogs and cats and knowing things before they occur. Recently you may have read the story of Ollie (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19959718/) the cat at a nursing home who could tell before a person died. Scientist might say it is because of certain smells etc. but any explanation still remains that this story shows that the future is known before. I have a friend that a lab found a spot of cancer and saved her owner before anything was detected. There are many stories of animals knowing people are sick before.

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_J41rnW7kjvw/TKFZ4ck2-jI/AAAAAAAAA0Q/MaD_yrMqv4s/s1600/th_mountains001.jpg (http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_J41rnW7kjvw/TKFZ4ck2-jI/AAAAAAAAA0Q/MaD_yrMqv4s/s1600/th_mountains001.jpg)What about the ability to tell an earthquake is about to happen. Coming home several months later and miles away. So many stories but one that stole my heart was the story of HACHIKO. I watched the Richard Gere movie on this legendary dog in tears. It is a tail of devotion and a bond I feel with Ella. http://www.northlandakitas.com/hachiko.htm (http://www.northlandakitas.com/hachiko.htm) tells the legend of this dog that even after his owners death, would go everyday at the same time to the train station awaiting the return of his beloved friend.


I really suggest reading this or watching the movie. If you thought Marley and Me was a tear jerker, then it is even more.




http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_J41rnW7kjvw/TKFacNF6RGI/AAAAAAAAA0Y/DCZmhCbCwSQ/s1600/th_c9c32b02.jpg (http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_J41rnW7kjvw/TKFacNF6RGI/AAAAAAAAA0Y/DCZmhCbCwSQ/s1600/th_c9c32b02.jpg)http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_J41rnW7kjvw/TKFaXAaOumI/AAAAAAAAA0U/xb3EwGDv8c0/s1600/kat+and+i.bmp (http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_J41rnW7kjvw/TKFaXAaOumI/AAAAAAAAA0U/xb3EwGDv8c0/s1600/kat+and+i.bmp)





http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_J41rnW7kjvw/TKFhyerC67I/AAAAAAAAA0g/HetVGTMghRk/s320/0314091328.jpg (http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_J41rnW7kjvw/TKFhyerC67I/AAAAAAAAA0g/HetVGTMghRk/s1600/0314091328.jpg)


http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_J41rnW7kjvw/TKFh2k0nLHI/AAAAAAAAA0k/2ZrOgwW6QMo/s1600/pawleys.bmp (http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_J41rnW7kjvw/TKFh2k0nLHI/AAAAAAAAA0k/2ZrOgwW6QMo/s1600/pawleys.bmp)
To sum up my story of Ella is pretty simple. I wanted a dog to have a bond with. To share a mutual affection and love that I so long desired. I look at her everyday and I feel it. Some people thing of dogs as pets, some family, some I hate to think of but I think of Ella as a love that I have in my heart that will live on forever.
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_J41rnW7kjvw/TKFafb4wR4I/AAAAAAAAA0c/7FlFNSd_260/s1600/th_EMMASELLAPHOTO056+2.jpg (http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_J41rnW7kjvw/TKFafb4wR4I/AAAAAAAAA0c/7FlFNSd_260/s1600/th_EMMASELLAPHOTO056+2.jpg)




***I've copied all the posts across from the original thread http://www.cavaliertalk.com/forums/showthread.php?37949-Please-help!-Ella-still-not-well./page11 (http://www.cavaliertalk.com/forums/showthread.php?37949-Please-help%21-Ella-still-not-well./page11***)
so that it is all together as a wonderful memorial to a very special dog ***

susandavis1
2nd May 2011, 05:27 PM
I'm so sorry Anne :(

Sydneys Mom
2nd May 2011, 05:33 PM
The words I'm sorry are not enough. There are no words that will ever be enough. Ella has been loved all her life by you and others. She knows love, comfort, happiness and joy. You will hold her forever in your heart. *ng*l

A Parting Prayer

Dear Lord, please open your gates
and call St. Francis
to come escort this beloved companion
across the Rainbow Bridge.

Assign her to a place of honor,
for she has been a faithful servant
and has always done her best to please me.

Bless the hands that send her to you,
for they are doing so in love and compassion,
freeing her from pain and suffering.

Grant me the strength not to dwell on my loss.
Help me remember the details of her life
with the love she has shown me.
And grant me the courage to honor her
by sharing those memories with others.

Let her remember me as well
and let her know that I will always love her.
And when it's my time to pass over into your paradise,
please allow her to accompany those
who will bring me home.

Thank you, Lord,
for the gift of her companionship
and for the time we've had together.

And thank you, Lord,
for granting me the strength
to give her to you now.

Amen.

Love my Cavaliers
2nd May 2011, 05:37 PM
I'm so sorry. Just know that we will all be there with you in spirit as you hold Ella and sing her song for her that one last time as she closes her eyes knowing that she has been loved fully and truly by you. I'm sure you know that the entire CavalierTalk community's heart is broken today.

Kathleen
2nd May 2011, 05:50 PM
I am so sorry Anne. I am with you in spirit and as my tears flow I know that my Jade will be waiting to welcome precious Ella. Such a sad day for us all, but the ultimate gift of love for her.:(

Charlifarley
2nd May 2011, 06:14 PM
Oh dear I'm so sorry that it has come to this.
Ella has clearly lived her life full of love and has held a place in many of our hearts.

Nicki
2nd May 2011, 06:19 PM
A desperately sad day and we are so very sorry :(:(

You have done the most loving, bravest thing you could do for her. xx

sins
2nd May 2011, 06:21 PM
You know we're all devastated for you Anne,
I'm sorry that such a simple thing has brought matters to a head,but you have always given Ella nothing less than 100% and if only every cavalier had known such love and dedication.
Sins

jessie22
2nd May 2011, 06:26 PM
Hi Anne,
I just want you to know that my heart goes out to you both, and I'm praying for you to be surrounded by love and comfort today. We are all here for you.


Rainbow Bridge
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge. When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable. All the animals that had been ill and old are restored to health and to vigour. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, someone who was left behind. They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. Her bright eyes are intent; her eager body begins to quiver. Suddenly, she breaks from the group, flying over the green grass, faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together…

Davecav
2nd May 2011, 06:47 PM
I really am so sorry. My thoughts are with you at such a heartbreaking time. Ella has been a very brave girl, she will be at peace.

Tania
2nd May 2011, 06:55 PM
Anne I am so sorry, sleep peacefully sweet Ella.

Erin2854
2nd May 2011, 06:57 PM
I am crying for you just typing this..my heart goes out to you. No words can describe how sorry I am for your loss. I truly commend you for being so strong for Ella's sake, I honestly don't know how I would handle being in your shoe's right now. I have been following you and Ella's story and love looking at the pictures you have of her-she reminds me so much of my Polly. Your love for each other shines out in every photograph. You both will be in my thoughts and prayers.

pippa
2nd May 2011, 06:57 PM
So sorry:( xx

brid kenny
2nd May 2011, 07:10 PM
So sorry.

emsley
2nd May 2011, 07:13 PM
I am so very sorry.
My heart goes out to you.

GraciesMom
2nd May 2011, 07:23 PM
Except that you and Ella are both very brave, very loving souls. God bless... and so glad you get to say goodbye with her little song. My heart is breaking with you. Ella will be a special angel watching over you.

Chamberlain
2nd May 2011, 07:27 PM
I have tears in my eyes as I write this, I know how much you love Ella and how much she loves you. I am so sorry, I wish I could offer some words to make this pain go away! Ella was blessed to have you as her owner, you brought so much love and light into her life! :hug:

merello
2nd May 2011, 07:35 PM
Anne, so sorry. I know how much Ella meant to you. It's the hardest decision to make but the ultimate act of love for our babies. We will light a candle for Ella tonight:hug:

Carol, Paul, Elise and Kaleyxxxx

Furrfoot
2nd May 2011, 07:45 PM
I am so, so sorry...*cries* Bless you for loving her the way you do...

jasperpaw
2nd May 2011, 08:19 PM
I am so very sorry Anne, you have been very brave and have done your very best for Ella and she knows how much you love her.:hug:

meljoy
2nd May 2011, 08:46 PM
Anne,

Thinking of you at this desperatly sad time. You're so brave to do this for Ella.
:(

Sending hugs and love to you both:hug:

Mel XX

Kate H
2nd May 2011, 08:59 PM
Every time, your head tells you this is the right thing to do, the loving thing to do - but your heart still breaks every time. If our Cavaliers didn't give us so much by their lives - however short - we would never have the courage to have another dog. But the amount of the pain is the measure of the love we have been given.

With love from Kate, Oliver and Aled:hug:

Rumor
2nd May 2011, 09:37 PM
I'm sorry. Thoughts & prayers for you at this sad time. :hug:

Sandrac
2nd May 2011, 09:57 PM
Anne, what a heartbreaking time for you. Sing to her sweetly and send her on her way with much love from us all. :hug:

We will always be here for you, it seems over the past months we have got to know you and Ella so well and have held you both in our thoughts and prayers through all her problems. She has been such a brave girl and you have given her so much love and support during her lifetime.

May she now rest in peace free from pain, she will be waiting at the bridge with all our other precious babies that have gone from us.

tara
2nd May 2011, 10:20 PM
I am so very sorry to read your news. I'm sure your head tells you you're doing the best thing for Ella, but you heart breaks nonetheless. I'll keep you both in my thoughts and prayers.

Blondiemonster
2nd May 2011, 11:06 PM
I am crying waterfalls as i am typing this as if she was mine. Im devastated but Im proud of you and ella... Enough for now since i cant find words and cant see well through the tears. I will email you... Run free sweet, brave Ella.. I love you both.

Wagtails
2nd May 2011, 11:09 PM
Sharing in your heartbreak here too, Anne. Sleep tight, sweet Ella :d*g:

waldor
2nd May 2011, 11:52 PM
Anne - I am very sad about Ella. It is the most loving thing you have ever done for her and I know she will leave a large hole in your heart and life. I am so very sorry. Now I need to go get a kleenex ......

(((Hugs)))

Mindysmom
3rd May 2011, 12:05 AM
I am very sorry - I know how heartbreaking this is.

mommytoClaire
3rd May 2011, 12:14 AM
Oh Anne, I had a heavy heart all day today, I just knew you were having to make a decision about your beloved Ella.

When a dog has such a huge part of our heart.....there just are no words that can give you the comfort you deserve. Ella has been your 'little' girl, and you have given her a wonderful life. I know you know that......And I know she has given you more than you could have ever asked for.

Nothing will take away the pain of her being gone. Time is the best healer......and it will take time before you will be able to once again smile when you think of your sweetheart. I pray that you will find comfort in knowing that so many here care so deeply about what you've been going through.

You have done one of the most unselfish things a pet parent can do.....you thought of Ella and her quality of life before your self.

There are no magic words.......just written words filled with tears that won't stop as I think of you and hold you very close in thought this evening.

Ella has been a wonderful inspiration for so many of us here. Thank you for sharing her with us.

Desrae
3rd May 2011, 12:57 AM
I'm so sorry I've only seen this now as my time online has been very limited lately!

My heart is breaking for you Annie! I am so so sorry for what has happened to Ella. She was such a special girl and you gave her so much and such a wonderful life. Losing a soulmate like this is so very difficult. We are here for you.:hug::hug::hug:

lovecavaliers
3rd May 2011, 01:00 AM
Oh Anne, I am heartbroken to hear this news. I am crying for your loss, I can only imagine the pain you are going through right now. Ella was such a beautiful, sweet, strong and inspirational little girl. You-a loving, caring and brave mommy to her. Cherish all the wonderful memories she has given you and know she will be at peace and always with you in your heart. I want to say so much more but am at a loss for words right now.
I am so very sorry for your loss.

Zumie05
3rd May 2011, 02:39 AM
This news is so heartbreaking. Ella will surely be missed. Rest easy now that you know you have freed her from any pain. *hugs*

BrooklynMom
3rd May 2011, 02:46 AM
Oh Anne, what a brave, strong woman you are. I am so tearful for you and Ella. Your strength through this has been nothing less than stoic. Ella is so blessed to have you.

I am so sorry it has all come to this. Life is not fair sometimes and it is so hard to understand. I am hugging you and thinking of Ella as she passes over into a better life. *ng*l

Sleep well Ella. Love.

Lani
3rd May 2011, 03:07 AM
I am so sorry for your loss of Ella.

I wish there were any words that can ease the pain you are feeling. She was a well loved cavalier and I hope in time your happy memories of the time you spent with her will replace the pain you are feeling now. :hug:

Jasper and Holly
3rd May 2011, 04:52 AM
Anne I am so sorry you had to say goodbye to Ella. She will be at peace now and running free at rainbow bridge. My heart goes out to you.

Reptigirl
3rd May 2011, 05:35 AM
I know I have already said this but I am so sorry Anne. I, like many others, am feeling heartbreak for you. I know there is nothing I can stay to make the pain go away. But I hope you know I am thinking of you!:hug:

Jane P
3rd May 2011, 07:23 AM
I am so very sorry. There are no words I can say that would be adequate .......
You are in my thoughts.
x

Andy's mum
3rd May 2011, 10:41 AM
I'm really, really sorry for your loss....

3cavies
3rd May 2011, 01:48 PM
Anne, it was so obvious how much you loved Ella and how well you cared for her. If only every dog was cared for this way. You gave her a life full of love and kindness. I'm so very sorry.

MurphysMummy
3rd May 2011, 05:33 PM
Again, Im so sorry for your loss.
I don't think anyone could of loved Ella more, she is your precious cavalier and always will be. Thank you for being aware of SM and caring for Ella in the most proper way.
Well done Anne for being an amazing cavalier owner. rest in beautiful peace Ella ..xxxx

anniemac
3rd May 2011, 06:30 PM
Tears will not stop. She was my heart, my soul and I don't know how I can make without her.

Sent from my Droid using Tapatalk

Spangly
3rd May 2011, 06:41 PM
Anne, I am so very sorry.

emmastewartliberty
3rd May 2011, 07:30 PM
I am so desperately sorry. It is unbelievably hard. Take comfort if you can in knowing that no dog could ever be loved more.

HollyDolly
3rd May 2011, 07:31 PM
Enormous hugs across the pond.

Nanette

xxxxxx

Kathleen
3rd May 2011, 07:36 PM
Anne, I know the pain you are feeling is unbearable, but it will get better. I was in your shoes three weeks ago and am finally able to get through the day without crying. I miss my Jade, but am glad that she doesn't have to suffer from SM pain anymore; that brings some comfort. I wish I could take your pain away, but it's the small price we pay for the enormous amount of love we have known. xxx

Teresa
3rd May 2011, 10:23 PM
Oh my goodness....I'm so sorry to read that you've lost Ella...reading through this thread has had tears running down my face. What a brave person you are, the last kind thing we can do and have to do sometimes is so the hardest...xxx

Thinking of you xx

Rubysmum
3rd May 2011, 11:58 PM
anne i am so sorry. words dont say nearly enough so just know im thinking of you and crying for you xx

*Pauline*
4th May 2011, 02:15 AM
I have just read this whole thread and I am so sorry I am late in offering my support. With tears in my eyes I send you a comforting hug and hope the pain subsides soon and the happy memories linger.

mommytoClaire
4th May 2011, 03:27 AM
Anne, I have thought about you so much these last couple days. I know she was your soul.....and she will always have your heart. She was a special girl, and NOTHING will change that. She will ALWAYS be with you.

But, I know how lonely it can be when we have to say goodbye......I can't imagine how this is for you. It is breaking my heart for you. I lost a special girl 13 years ago, she was my only dog at the time, I didn't have children, and it nearly broke my heart. I mourned her so bad. She went much too quickly......and I wasn't prepared.

If I tell you anything, it's this. You have a wonderfully loving and kind heart......and it's hard to get ones head around these things. But, I can tell you that you have too much love to give to not give it away again someday. Only you will know when that is, but I promise you, it does honor Ella and all she was to you. No one can take her place, but I know if she was a human and could express it, she would want you to have another soft ear to pet, and a little body to hug.

For now, just know that we are all thinking of you, and I especially am so heartbroken for you dear lady. Keeping you in prayer.

lovecavaliers
4th May 2011, 04:03 AM
Anne just checking in because I have not stopped thinking about you and Ella over these past days. I cry every night as I check this thread's updates.
I agree with everything Cindy said so beautifully above.
Ella loved you and would only want you to be happy. :hug:

GraciesMom
4th May 2011, 02:11 PM
I so wish I could take some of the pain away.... we care so about you and loved Ms Ella too. I know she made a huge difference in raising awareness about the tragedy of SM but what matters now is what you are going through. The tears have healing powers.... so let them flow.

anniemac
4th May 2011, 05:22 PM
I wrote a long post then erased it but might write more. I am overcome with emails, replies to her post on the other forum with her being sick and to help. I ask that one be closed and people say their peace here. I will email each one of you later but I don't want to erase messages and sometimes it's hard to fight the tears. I truly believe Ella touched so many and knowing that gives me some peace. She went through so much yet, would never lose her spirit. In the short life she had, she has brought me friends throughout the world and she will live in my heart forever. I will continue her blog www.fightforella.blogspot.com (http://www.fightforella.blogspot.com) but this is something from a previous post about why I wanted a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.

PS. Here last weekend was at the beach (her favorite place). Maybe there was a reason for that. Maybe there is a reason for everything but I know she will be looking down with Rupert and others at Rainbows Bridge.

Why Did I Want a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel?



http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_J41rnW7kjvw/TKFiFyhLU0I/AAAAAAAAA0o/IEjiF_xqXyw/s1600/th_7f9546cc.jpg (http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_J41rnW7kjvw/TKFiFyhLU0I/AAAAAAAAA0o/IEjiF_xqXyw/s1600/th_7f9546cc.jpg)http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_J41rnW7kjvw/TKFiMzje0MI/AAAAAAAAA0s/hGMd5Dl2uo8/s1600/th_EMMASELLAPHOTO098.jpg (http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_J41rnW7kjvw/TKFiMzje0MI/AAAAAAAAA0s/hGMd5Dl2uo8/s1600/th_EMMASELLAPHOTO098.jpg)
I could say that Cavalier King Charles Spaniels are the best breed, but a more accurate statement is they are the best breed for me. My cousin has a weimaraner but she runs marathons and is active which did not run in the family. That dog is perfect for her. Could I see her with a Cavalier, no. Then there are the dogs that have functions, like police dogs, working dogs on farms, the hunters, watch dogs, etc. None of those fit my need.
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_J41rnW7kjvw/TKFi6-WItjI/AAAAAAAAA0w/VBjT3JRgXLw/s1600/has.jpg (http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_J41rnW7kjvw/TKFi6-WItjI/AAAAAAAAA0w/VBjT3JRgXLw/s1600/has.jpg)


I have always been in love with dogs. I used to draw the same dog over and over again when I was young. It just so happens that the dog looked exactly like Ella. Maybe I got the picture from the move Lady and the Tramp, or maybe I knew something about the future dog that would steal my heart. When I searched for a dog, I did not look for someone who had that image. Even though I think they are beautiful, I had a different reason for wanting one. I needed a dog that would show me the affection that I needed. I wanted a dog that would be by my side and want to lay with me in my lap and by my side. I have said that my choosing to have a dog was because I was in a difficult place and depressed. Someone (I don't think of her as a dog) that loved me unconditionally would be just what I needed. That might sound selfish but it was a mutual bond that I can not even describe.


When I was young I went through my parents divorce and it was extremely difficult for me. I got my first dog as a birthday present. Okay buying a child a dog may not be the best decision because Flip (my cocker spaniel) soon became my parents responsibility. However, there were times when I wanted to hide. I would hold on Flip and every thought would make things okay.


When I read about Cavaliers and there eagerness to please, show affection, complete love was what made me know this was the breed for me. Yes, Sex and the City, made me familiar with them, but it was not the social status of this breed or anything else that was my thoughts. When I went to see the puppies from a breeder I researched, I met Ella. She instantly came to me. She was not playing with the others but fell asleep in my arms and on my chest. I heard her heartbeat, I felt the bond and I fell instantly in love. Ella was not one of the puppies for sale. Actually the breeder was going to keep her for breeding. I have said God gave me Ella and maybe another reason was because she having SM would have saved others from this condition. I guess it is more complicated but she was my angel.


I was instantly lightened with joy. I had a purpose to live, and I will always be thankful to her. As I look into her eyes, I see that closeness. I feel so strongly that I sometimes can see to her soul. A dog having a soul maybe a stretch but there is something unique about dogs.

I have read stories and heard from friends about dogs having a sixth sense. I know personally, Ella will know when I am feeling a certain way and come to me for comfort. How can a dog sense that. The amazing tales of dogs and cats and knowing things before they occur. Recently you may have read the story of Ollie (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19959718/) the cat at a nursing home who could tell before a person died. Scientist might say it is because of certain smells etc. but any explanation still remains that this story shows that the future is known before. I have a friend that a lab found a spot of cancer and saved her owner before anything was detected. There are many stories of animals knowing people are sick before.

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_J41rnW7kjvw/TKFZ4ck2-jI/AAAAAAAAA0Q/MaD_yrMqv4s/s1600/th_mountains001.jpg (http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_J41rnW7kjvw/TKFZ4ck2-jI/AAAAAAAAA0Q/MaD_yrMqv4s/s1600/th_mountains001.jpg)What about the ability to tell an earthquake is about to happen. Coming home several months later and miles away. So many stories but one that stole my heart was the story of HACHIKO. I watched the Richard Gere movie on this legendary dog in tears. It is a tail of devotion and a bond I feel with Ella. http://www.northlandakitas.com/hachiko.htm (http://www.northlandakitas.com/hachiko.htm) tells the legend of this dog that even after his owners death, would go everyday at the same time to the train station awaiting the return of his beloved friend.


I really suggest reading this or watching the movie. If you thought Marley and Me was a tear jerker, then it is even more.




http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_J41rnW7kjvw/TKFacNF6RGI/AAAAAAAAA0Y/DCZmhCbCwSQ/s1600/th_c9c32b02.jpg (http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_J41rnW7kjvw/TKFacNF6RGI/AAAAAAAAA0Y/DCZmhCbCwSQ/s1600/th_c9c32b02.jpg)http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_J41rnW7kjvw/TKFaXAaOumI/AAAAAAAAA0U/xb3EwGDv8c0/s1600/kat+and+i.bmp (http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_J41rnW7kjvw/TKFaXAaOumI/AAAAAAAAA0U/xb3EwGDv8c0/s1600/kat+and+i.bmp)





http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_J41rnW7kjvw/TKFhyerC67I/AAAAAAAAA0g/HetVGTMghRk/s320/0314091328.jpg (http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_J41rnW7kjvw/TKFhyerC67I/AAAAAAAAA0g/HetVGTMghRk/s1600/0314091328.jpg)


http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_J41rnW7kjvw/TKFh2k0nLHI/AAAAAAAAA0k/2ZrOgwW6QMo/s1600/pawleys.bmp (http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_J41rnW7kjvw/TKFh2k0nLHI/AAAAAAAAA0k/2ZrOgwW6QMo/s1600/pawleys.bmp)
To sum up my story of Ella is pretty simple. I wanted a dog to have a bond with. To share a mutual affection and love that I so long desired. I look at her everyday and I feel it. Some people thing of dogs as pets, some family, some I hate to think of but I think of Ella as a love that I have in my heart that will live on forever.
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_J41rnW7kjvw/TKFafb4wR4I/AAAAAAAAA0c/7FlFNSd_260/s1600/th_EMMASELLAPHOTO056+2.jpg (http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_J41rnW7kjvw/TKFafb4wR4I/AAAAAAAAA0c/7FlFNSd_260/s1600/th_EMMASELLAPHOTO056+2.jpg)

Chamberlain
4th May 2011, 05:24 PM
I just wanted to let you know that I am thinking about you and hoping that today seems a little bit brighter! I hope that you have supportive family and friends to help you through this sad and lonely time. :l*v:

matties mum
4th May 2011, 05:40 PM
I am so sorry that you loss Ella but reading about her say how much you loved her and also how mich she did love you run free Ella with all the Cavaliers that are there
---Aileen

Davecav
4th May 2011, 06:10 PM
You have known the love that Ella gave you. As you say this will stay with you forever. This is why Cavaliers are by far the best companions in the world, their gentleness is a quality that should never be watered down.

The people who try and discredit this breed are beneath contempt.

RIP Ella.

Sydneys Mom
4th May 2011, 06:31 PM
Anne, I am so sorry that you have to mourn the loss of Ella. I've followed your many posts about her trials and tribulations and how strongly she always fought. You made a good life for her, gave her everything she needed, especially your unconditional love. From what I've read, she returned that love to you tenfold.

Rest in peace Ella.*ng*l

Sabby
4th May 2011, 06:46 PM
I am so sorry to read about the loss of your Ella. You gave her the best life you could give her and she knew that.
I know what you mean when you talk about that special bond. I had other dogs before I had Cavaliers and I have three Cavaliers now, but I never had a special bond like I have with my Harley. I love my other two dearly but having that special bond is different. Some people call it their heart dog and I truly believe you only get a dog like this once in a life time.

Run free Ella

Sandrac
4th May 2011, 07:49 PM
Ella will be forever a part of you. Until you meet at the rainbow bridge - run free Ella:l*v:

merello
4th May 2011, 07:56 PM
Anne, so sorry for your loss. You made a brave, selfless decision putting Ella first. The pets we lose never really leave us they are forever in our hearts and memories.

Run free at the Bridge with all our precious Cavaliers Ella. :hug:to you Annexx

James
4th May 2011, 08:24 PM
Anne having read your posts about Ella I really don't know what to say. except I do feel for your loss much more than I am prepared to publicly admit on this forum.

Love my Cavaliers
4th May 2011, 08:48 PM
Every time I think about you and Ella, the tears just flow. It's almost like she was the soulmate to every cavalier on this board, especially those with SM. Run free like the wind Ella, with no pain or SM to stop you.

Kathleen
4th May 2011, 08:59 PM
And God asked the canine spirit
Are you ready to come home?
Oh yes, quite so, replied the precious soul
And, as a dog, I know I am able
To decide anything for myself.

Are you coming then? Asked God
Soon, replied the whiskered angel
But I must come slowly
For my human friends are troubled
For you see, they need me, quite certainly

But don't they understand? Asked God
That you will never leave them
That your souls are intertwined. For all Eternity?
That nothing is created or destroyed?
It just is.. Forever, and ever and ever.

Eventually they will understand,
Replied the glorious Dog
For I will whisper into their hearts
That I am always with them
I just am....forever and ever and ever.
xxx

Anne, you are still in my thoughts. We will never forget Ella - rest well little girl.

Rubysmum
4th May 2011, 08:59 PM
ive been thinking of you all day . the story of how you came to get ella is similar to mine and rubys story , and we have that same bond . im so very sorry xx r.i.p ella x

robbieswan
4th May 2011, 09:06 PM
My deepest condolences.

mommytoClaire
4th May 2011, 11:37 PM
Thank you for sharing the wonderful story and pictures of your sweetheart.

Hugs,

GraciesMom
4th May 2011, 11:55 PM
You and Ella are a magical story...and it will live on. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing this beautiful story of your angel. Seeing both of your beautiful faces, you can see how much you both love each other....and always will. You deserve to have love in your life and I hope you can see how much you are loved here.

Karlin
5th May 2011, 02:11 AM
I am so sorry; we all know how much you cared about her and how special she was. :flwr:

jessie22
5th May 2011, 03:47 AM
Hi Anne,
I just want you to know there has not been a single day I (or any of us here) haven't thought of you, prayed for you and grieved for/with you.
Thank you so much for sharing your wonderful story of Ella. Everyone should be as good of a doggie mommy as you are. I hope I can say that someday.
I will continue to hope and pray you are surrounded by love and comfort at this very difficult time. You are very brave and strong, just like Ella.
Remember she is with you. And always will be. :lotsaluv:

Erin2854
5th May 2011, 04:02 AM
Anne,
Thank you so much for sharing that with us. Again I am brought to tears. Your story has touched my heart and I know I have said it before, but really describes my bond with my little Polly as well (which I often have a hard time even thinking of her as a dog). She is my everything..my heart and soul and also came to me during a time when I really needed her. You and Ella were sent to each other for a reason...you are true soulmates and a bond like that will never be broken. Ella's brave story has truly made an impact on me and I will never forget your stories of the love she has brought you. I know I was one of the people who emailed you and please don't feel obligated to email me back. I just wanted you to know how deeply sorry I was and how much your story of your angel Ella has meant to me. Please take care...it will be a slow and difficult healing process but each day will get just a little easier. ((Huggs from me and Polly))

Karen and Ruby
5th May 2011, 04:28 PM
I've been following more on facebook but Just wanted to say that I hope your days are getting easier- I've always thought that I will be inconsolable for months

Run free Angel Ella- she will forever be your heart, and your heart will be forever hers
*ng*l


:hug:

Margaret C
5th May 2011, 04:45 PM
I have been away for a week, so came back to read about your terrible loss.

I am so sorry that your sweet little Ella has died in such a tragic way.
My thoughts are with you.

anniemac
5th May 2011, 09:47 PM
I have been away for a week, so came back to read about your terrible loss.

I am so sorry that your sweet little Ella has died in such a tragic way.
My thoughts are with you.

Thank you Margaret for always being there for me and Ella but I don't think she passed in a tragic way. It was very hard as you can see from the posts but something amazing happened the last day. We visited in a room, her tail was wagging and even sat out in the sun. I don't know what her life would have been like without the obstruction, and I had no idea about the surgery being so invasive, but for one day I saw that light in her eyes. It does not mean she was getting better because I will not go into details but I do know that I feel her with me. Part of me thinks that maybe she knew it was her time too.

She has given me so much joy, so many tears, and a love I will never feel the same, but all the tears I have been crying, I feel like she is at peace. I think about our last weekend and that is how I want to remember her. Maybe God knew I would not have the strength to watch her start to decline (if she did which was very possible given things). It was her time and even though it was short she has given me more than I could ask someone for in a lifetime.

Desrae
6th May 2011, 01:04 AM
:cry*ing: I'm still feeling so sad for you and it does seem so tragic in many of our eyes, but it's all different perspectives. I'm glad to see you are dealing with this so well, I would be in bits!!! Ella is free now, and at the shining Rainbow Bridge. Still thinking of and praying for you guys.:lotsaluv:

SuzRN
6th May 2011, 02:05 AM
I have followed on FB also, but my tears pour out again. Just remember the best.

mommytoClaire
6th May 2011, 03:11 AM
Anne, what a wonderful perspective you have on this! I am so proud of you for this.

Just know that Ella has been a wonderful inspiration for so many here, and it will remain that way for a long time.

I hope that your heart will heal, and be filled with lovely memories of Ella.....you were a wonderful, wonderful mother to her.

Hugs,

sandi
6th May 2011, 04:41 AM
Oh Anne - I am so sorry! :(
I am just catching up to everything, and I am in tears and absolutely heartbroken.
Ella was really special to Ellie and I - you were the first to help us when we discovered Ellie had SM..provided so much support.. we are so grateful to have Ella touch our lives..I'm at a loss for words. Your strong spirit and unwavering love for Ella is truly inspiring.

Ella will be forever missed.. you are very brave and my thoughts are with you.

Hugs from Ellie and I :lotsaluv::hug:

~Sandi

anniemac
6th May 2011, 07:34 PM
I have been reading about sams ashes and I just got the call that her remains are ready for me to pick up. That is going to be so tough and I don't know if I'm even ready to get them. I'm shaking

Sent from my Droid using Tapatalk

Jasper and Holly
6th May 2011, 11:20 PM
Anne,
I have not been a member that long on ct but I can see how Ella has touched so many people's hearts. Mine included, every time I read about Ella I am in tears again. I really feel for you and what you are going through right now. I have had Sam's ashes for just over two years now and have decided I am not ready to let him go yet. I have a portrait a friend painted of him and I have it on the wall along with a frame with lots of photos from him being a puppy to when he got older. I still miss him even though I have two beautiful Cavs now.
Just remember all the great times you had with Ella and how much you loved her and she loved you. Having Ella's ashes should make you feel that you have her with you always. Time is a great healer and you will always remember her.
So sorry you are going through this. :hug::hug:

Cathy and Winston
7th May 2011, 12:38 AM
Anne, I've been away for a while, and just ran across this now. I'm so sorry for your loss of your beloved Ella. There are no words to try to comfort now, just be assured that you and Ella are in my prayers. A candle will be lit in Maryland to help guide a beautiful little soul over the Rainbow Bridge.

dellis
7th May 2011, 09:16 PM
i am so sorry to read about your little brave dog.:(

Pacific
7th May 2011, 09:38 PM
My heart breaks for you.
You gave Ella a beautiful life, and she returned the favour to you. You can never lose the wonderful times you spent together, and she will always be with you.

Jasperxxgabby
8th May 2011, 04:54 PM
I am so sorry, :flwr:

ourempire
8th May 2011, 08:59 PM
I am so very sorry to hear about Ella. She shounds as an amazingly brave little dog, and you have done all you could for her.
The kindest thoughts from Charlotte

anniemac
8th May 2011, 10:53 PM
:cry*ing: I'm still feeling so sad for you and it does seem so tragic in many of our eyes, but it's all different perspectives. I'm glad to see you are dealing with this so well, I would be in bits!!! Ella is free now, and at the shining Rainbow Bridge. Still thinking of and praying for you guys.:lotsaluv:

Thank you. I need prayers right now because I feel a heavy weight on my chest. I want to be strong and think things happen for a reason and she will always be with me but I miss her so much. I can't stop crying

Sent from my Droid using Tapatalk

pippa
8th May 2011, 11:16 PM
My thoughts are with you Anne xx

Shivers
10th May 2011, 11:24 AM
I'm so very sorry for your loss :flwr:

Zoe bowie
19th May 2011, 10:13 AM
Annie I am so sorry to read about Ella, I can smypathies with you & feel your loss. I am lying here crying my eyes out as I know the bond you two shared was a strong, binding, forever type of love. She is at peace now, she fought her battle & did it with the love, care & support from you-you both gave it everything.

You will see your Angel Ella at the bridge, until then mind yourself & take pride in all she achieved in her young short life because of you.

Sending you a big hug.

Lucille

anniemac
27th May 2011, 04:56 PM
I can't believe I was so lucky to have Ella in my life. I am truly touched by how many people also grew to love her. I hope Lynn (Blondiemaster) does not mind I post this here since she said it was ok to add to my blog but this was one of the sweetest things and since she has been such a big support on CavalierTalk, I thought it should be shared here.

"Sweet Ella,




I've gotten to know you a little bit through your mommy,

and even though I never met you, you were my best Cavalier

buddy on the forum. I shared your story and your name often with my friends

and enjoyed reading all the stories about you.

Your mom loved you very much, she was on the forum all the time learning and reading

about you and your breed, finding ways to make your life better and more comfortable.

We all learned so much from your story. You lived with this horrible disease called

SM, which my puppy has too.. yet you were so strong and brave and loved going

to the doggie bar and hanging out with your mommy, still enjoying days in the park.

When I read the horrible news on the Cavalier forum about your illness, I checked the forum ten times a day for updates, until I saw the last news that Anne had decided it was time to set you free. I was in the car from upstate NY with my boyfriend, and read him your Mom's message.

In the middle of the message the tears were flowing and I don't think he understood much else of what I said. We stopped the car, and even my boyfriend shed a tear for you coz he

felt how unsettling it was for me. You are a symbol for all cavaliers with SM and I could feel your mommy's worries and pain as if they were mine. Blondie was in the car with us too and I know se must've felt something cause she was very quiet the whole drive home.

I then quietly read all the other messages that were left for you and I can tell you: you must've touched so many hearts and souls. Never before have I seen such sadness and so many messages there. And though I know that for us, this is all so so sad:

I know, for you, sweet Ella, it is not. I know you understand the flow of life and death better than us humans do. And I know that you do not see it as something frightening or horrible.

You are now running at the bridge with Charly and all the other cavaliers that recently passed as well as Anne's family who is waiting for you at the bridge and will love you and hug you while your mommy is still hanging around with us for a little while.

Run free little angel, and keep an eye on my Blondiemonster while you are up there too

Love


Lynn and Blondie"

There are many here that are playing with who I call Angel Ella in Rainbows Bridge and I hope she will one day be able to smile at me again!

goda
27th May 2011, 05:03 PM
My Angel Ella - given her wings 2nd May 2011


I wrote a long post then erased it but might write more. I am overcome with emails, replies to her post on the other forum with her being sick and to help. I ask that one be closed and people say their peace here. I will email each one of you later but I don't want to erase messages and sometimes it's hard to fight the tears. I truly believe Ella touched so many and knowing that gives me some peace. She went through so much yet, would never lose her spirit. In the short life she had, she has brought me friends throughout the world and she will live in my heart forever. I will continue her blog www.fightforella.blogspot.com (http://www.fightforella.blogspot.com/) but this is something from a previous post about why I wanted a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.

PS. Here last weekend was at the beach (her favorite place). Maybe there was a reason for that. Maybe there is a reason for everything but I know she will be looking down with Rupert and others at Rainbows Bridge.

Why Did I Want a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel?



http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_J41rnW7kjvw/TKFiFyhLU0I/AAAAAAAAA0o/IEjiF_xqXyw/s1600/th_7f9546cc.jpg (http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_J41rnW7kjvw/TKFiFyhLU0I/AAAAAAAAA0o/IEjiF_xqXyw/s1600/th_7f9546cc.jpg)http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_J41rnW7kjvw/TKFiMzje0MI/AAAAAAAAA0s/hGMd5Dl2uo8/s1600/th_EMMASELLAPHOTO098.jpg (http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_J41rnW7kjvw/TKFiMzje0MI/AAAAAAAAA0s/hGMd5Dl2uo8/s1600/th_EMMASELLAPHOTO098.jpg)
I could say that Cavalier King Charles Spaniels are the best breed, but a more accurate statement is they are the best breed for me. My cousin has a weimaraner but she runs marathons and is active which did not run in the family. That dog is perfect for her. Could I see her with a Cavalier, no. Then there are the dogs that have functions, like police dogs, working dogs on farms, the hunters, watch dogs, etc. None of those fit my need.
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_J41rnW7kjvw/TKFi6-WItjI/AAAAAAAAA0w/VBjT3JRgXLw/s1600/has.jpg (http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_J41rnW7kjvw/TKFi6-WItjI/AAAAAAAAA0w/VBjT3JRgXLw/s1600/has.jpg)


I have always been in love with dogs. I used to draw the same dog over and over again when I was young. It just so happens that the dog looked exactly like Ella. Maybe I got the picture from the move Lady and the Tramp, or maybe I knew something about the future dog that would steal my heart. When I searched for a dog, I did not look for someone who had that image. Even though I think they are beautiful, I had a different reason for wanting one. I needed a dog that would show me the affection that I needed. I wanted a dog that would be by my side and want to lay with me in my lap and by my side. I have said that my choosing to have a dog was because I was in a difficult place and depressed. Someone (I don't think of her as a dog) that loved me unconditionally would be just what I needed. That might sound selfish but it was a mutual bond that I can not even describe.


When I was young I went through my parents divorce and it was extremely difficult for me. I got my first dog as a birthday present. Okay buying a child a dog may not be the best decision because Flip (my cocker spaniel) soon became my parents responsibility. However, there were times when I wanted to hide. I would hold on Flip and every thought would make things okay.


When I read about Cavaliers and there eagerness to please, show affection, complete love was what made me know this was the breed for me. Yes, Sex and the City, made me familiar with them, but it was not the social status of this breed or anything else that was my thoughts. When I went to see the puppies from a breeder I researched, I met Ella. She instantly came to me. She was not playing with the others but fell asleep in my arms and on my chest. I heard her heartbeat, I felt the bond and I fell instantly in love. Ella was not one of the puppies for sale. Actually the breeder was going to keep her for breeding. I have said God gave me Ella and maybe another reason was because she having SM would have saved others from this condition. I guess it is more complicated but she was my angel.


I was instantly lightened with joy. I had a purpose to live, and I will always be thankful to her. As I look into her eyes, I see that closeness. I feel so strongly that I sometimes can see to her soul. A dog having a soul maybe a stretch but there is something unique about dogs.

I have read stories and heard from friends about dogs having a sixth sense. I know personally, Ella will know when I am feeling a certain way and come to me for comfort. How can a dog sense that. The amazing tales of dogs and cats and knowing things before they occur. Recently you may have read the story of Ollie (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19959718/) the cat at a nursing home who could tell before a person died. Scientist might say it is because of certain smells etc. but any explanation still remains that this story shows that the future is known before. I have a friend that a lab found a spot of cancer and saved her owner before anything was detected. There are many stories of animals knowing people are sick before.

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_J41rnW7kjvw/TKFZ4ck2-jI/AAAAAAAAA0Q/MaD_yrMqv4s/s1600/th_mountains001.jpg (http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_J41rnW7kjvw/TKFZ4ck2-jI/AAAAAAAAA0Q/MaD_yrMqv4s/s1600/th_mountains001.jpg)What about the ability to tell an earthquake is about to happen. Coming home several months later and miles away. So many stories but one that stole my heart was the story of HACHIKO. I watched the Richard Gere movie on this legendary dog in tears. It is a tail of devotion and a bond I feel with Ella. http://www.northlandakitas.com/hachiko.htm (http://www.northlandakitas.com/hachiko.htm) tells the legend of this dog that even after his owners death, would go everyday at the same time to the train station awaiting the return of his beloved friend.


I really suggest reading this or watching the movie. If you thought Marley and Me was a tear jerker, then it is even more.




http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_J41rnW7kjvw/TKFacNF6RGI/AAAAAAAAA0Y/DCZmhCbCwSQ/s1600/th_c9c32b02.jpg (http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_J41rnW7kjvw/TKFacNF6RGI/AAAAAAAAA0Y/DCZmhCbCwSQ/s1600/th_c9c32b02.jpg)http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_J41rnW7kjvw/TKFaXAaOumI/AAAAAAAAA0U/xb3EwGDv8c0/s1600/kat+and+i.bmp (http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_J41rnW7kjvw/TKFaXAaOumI/AAAAAAAAA0U/xb3EwGDv8c0/s1600/kat+and+i.bmp)





http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_J41rnW7kjvw/TKFhyerC67I/AAAAAAAAA0g/HetVGTMghRk/s320/0314091328.jpg (http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_J41rnW7kjvw/TKFhyerC67I/AAAAAAAAA0g/HetVGTMghRk/s1600/0314091328.jpg)


http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_J41rnW7kjvw/TKFh2k0nLHI/AAAAAAAAA0k/2ZrOgwW6QMo/s1600/pawleys.bmp (http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_J41rnW7kjvw/TKFh2k0nLHI/AAAAAAAAA0k/2ZrOgwW6QMo/s1600/pawleys.bmp)
To sum up my story of Ella is pretty simple. I wanted a dog to have a bond with. To share a mutual affection and love that I so long desired. I look at her everyday and I feel it. Some people thing of dogs as pets, some family, some I hate to think of but I think of Ella as a love that I have in my heart that will live on forever.
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_J41rnW7kjvw/TKFafb4wR4I/AAAAAAAAA0c/7FlFNSd_260/s1600/th_EMMASELLAPHOTO056+2.jpg (http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_J41rnW7kjvw/TKFafb4wR4I/AAAAAAAAA0c/7FlFNSd_260/s1600/th_EMMASELLAPHOTO056+2.jpg)




***I've copied all the posts across from the original thread http://www.cavaliertalk.com/forums/showthread.php?37949-Please-help!-Ella-still-not-well./page11 (http://www.cavaliertalk.com/forums/showthread.php?37949-Please-help%21-Ella-still-not-well./page11***)
so that it is all together as a wonderful memorial to a very special dog ***

I'm sorry. She is gorgeous.

anniemac
21st June 2011, 01:58 AM
I sometimes think that Ella knew that her CM/SM was weighing on me. I feel if I would have been stronger she still would be with me. I know she did not like me upset when she was here and she would not want that now but it is still so hard. Today has been a tough day so I thought I would post my recent post.

How Can I Profit From the Example of Ella (http://fightforella.blogspot.com/2011/06/how-can-i-profit-from-example-of-ella.html)

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-oLHlG7JFl2s/Tfu1rNvVNPI/AAAAAAAAA-8/KX-dwZLP1kw/s1600/dash+2.bmp (http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-oLHlG7JFl2s/Tfu1rNvVNPI/AAAAAAAAA-8/KX-dwZLP1kw/s1600/dash+2.bmp)“Here lies DASH, the Favourite Spaniel of Queen Victoria


By whose command this Memorial was erected.
He died on the 20 December, 1840 in his 9th year.

His attachment was without selfishness,

His playfulness without malice,

His fidelity without deceit.

READER, if you would live beloved and die regretted, profit by the example of DASH.”







http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1rx99HL_Yb4/Tfu213L-u1I/AAAAAAAAA_A/Vkcu7RPCGj8/s1600/dashj.jpg (http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1rx99HL_Yb4/Tfu213L-u1I/AAAAAAAAA_A/Vkcu7RPCGj8/s1600/dashj.jpg)







My life will never be the same since after My Angel Ella came into my life. I have learned so much from her.






"Dogs have a way of finding the people who need them, Filling an emptiness we don't even know we have."


Thom Jones


Ella was not just a dog. She was angel that was sent to me. She has taught me about loving one more than yourself and that I could ever imagine. She taught me about forgiveness. She taught me how to make someone’s day just by showing you care. We will forever be connected because she will remain in my heart forever. I believe that even though she is not physically here, she is an angel looking down on me and everyone. So I will ask myself:




What Would Ella Want



She would want to run after the birds.

She would want to sniff each flower.


She would want to great each person and dog with a smile and waiting for them to pet her.


She would want to run around in the park with her fur friends.


She would want to run on the sand in the beach.


She would want to run after a tennis ball and wait for me to come to her to throw it again 


She would want to spread across the whole bed like a princess.




I could say so many things but she never asked for them. I just knew these are things she enjoyed. The only time she would get the “please mom, I don’t want to” action was when we were at the beach. We slept in a bedroom that was by itself. The upstairs was where all the action was including *cough* kitchen. She wanted to be around everyone and even if they were going to sleep, she wanted to make sure she was there and not missing anything. She would sit by the door impatiently wanting to go back. She even scratched to door with her paw, looking up at me with those sad eyes.






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We left the beach at 5am the Monday after Easter to return back to work in Charlotte. She immediately got sick in the car. She was running on the beach Sunday but that would be her last run on the sandy beach. The last time she would chase shells in the breaking waves. I had no idea that would be the last time she smiled at all.






That Monday she did not get better and she did not hog the bed that night, nor did she end up on top of my head and pillows. I woke up to her on the bathroom floor. I took her to the Vet Tuesday morning. She came home because they thought it was a bug. She still did not eat and again even though she always is close by, she was on the floor again. The next day when I took her back to the vet, I did not know that when she would return home, it would be her spirit.






I think Ella got what she wanted, a weekend at her favorite place before it would be her time to say goodbye.






I never thought about it that way until now. I feel like Ella was sent to me as an Angel to help me through some hard times. She saved my life and that is why I wanted to do everything I could to save hers. It seems like it was before her time, but maybe there was a reason she felt it was her time to go back to Heaven and help me and others from there.






Maybe she did not want me to see her struggle. Sometimes I feel like I was losing strength and I get so upset with myself. It can weigh on you emotionally to not know what the future holds. I loved and still love her so much that I wanted to be the one to have the pain instead of her.






Would Ella want that? Would she want me to be scared of losing her? Would she want to see the sadness in my eyes that she came to me to change?






No. She would not want that because that was her whole reason she found me. It does still hurt and the pain is still raw but I have to think of everything she taught me.






What did I learn from her?





More to come…


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mommytoClaire
21st June 2011, 02:44 AM
Oh Anne, that as beautiful......thank you for sharing. I am in tears. Holding you close in thought and prayer.

anniemac
21st June 2011, 03:08 AM
Oh Anne, that as beautiful......thank you for sharing. I am in tears. Holding you close in thought and prayer.

Thank you. I've been in tears all day

Sent from my Droid using Tapatalk

Sydneys Mom
21st June 2011, 03:55 AM
[QUOTE]Sometimes I feel like I was losing strength and I get so upset with myself. It can weigh on you emotionally to not know what the future holds. I loved and still love her so much that I wanted to be the one to have the pain instead of her.

Would Ella want that? Would she want me to be scared of losing her? Would she want to see the sadness in my eyes that she came to me to change?


/QUOTE]

As you know, I've been feeling this way with Sydney's illness. I know it's not the same as Ella, but emotions are emotions and you can't help how you feel. Sometimes I have to leave the house so Sydney doesn't see how upset or anxious I am. When he senses my pain, I see him feeling worse. Just hold onto all the good. Cry if you need to. Everyone here will be there for you. I continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

In My Heart
I thought of you with love today, but that is nothing new.
I thought about you yesterday, and days before that too.
I think of you in silence. I often speak your name.
Now all I have is memories, and your picture in a frame.
Your memory is my keepsake, with which I’ll never part.
God has you in his keeping.
I have you in my heart.

anniemac
1st May 2012, 01:35 AM
It was Ella's birthday a couple of days ago and it's coming up on one year since she went to rainbows bridge. I am so sad and cry for her.

Ella, I miss you so much that my heart aches for you. I wish I had your strength. I love you sweet girl.

Sydneys Mom
1st May 2012, 02:01 AM
Anne, I'm crying with you and I uderstand the ache you feel in your heart.
Thinking of you with tears in my eyes and love in my heart.

anniemac
1st May 2012, 02:27 AM
Anne, I'm crying with you and I uderstand the ache you feel in your heart.
Thinking of you with tears in my eyes and love in my heart.

Thanks Joyce. I feel for you and Sydney. I hope she is with him and we both will reunite one day. It does get a little easier but I'm feeling the emptiness this week. I read about how you feel for Sydney and i cry with you too.

mommytoClaire
1st May 2012, 03:21 AM
Dear Anne, I didnt know about Ella's birthday. I hope that as time has passed, you can celebrate her. She gave you her all, and you the same to her.

I believe she sent you little Elton. And he is a true companion. You needed him, but HE needed you just as much.

It's okay to grieve...and cry and remember your sweet girl. But remember the treasure you have in Elton, as he was the gift you've been given. I know he will never replace Ella, she was too unique for that to happen. But you can carry her memory forward in educating others about CM/SM and giving little Elton the love that he deserves. Ella's memory goes on in all you do.

You are a good woman Anne, and a great momma. Don't ever doubt that. Hugs and prayers for peace for you.

lovecavaliers
1st May 2012, 04:15 AM
Anne just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you. I can see Ella up at rainbow bridge pain free and enjoying all those things you mentioned. You will be reunited with her one day. In the meantime cherish the sweet memories and your boy Elton, who I believe Ella sent to you to help you get through this loss. Hugs!

Sabby
1st May 2012, 10:59 AM
I can't believe it has been a year allready. My heart aches for you.

This allways makes me cry but this poem is lovely



I stood by your bed last night, I came to have a peep.
I could see that you were crying, You found it hard to sleep.
I whined to you softly as you brushed away a tear,
"It's me, I haven't left you, I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."
I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour the tea,
You were thinking of the many times, your hands reached down to me.
I was with you at the shops today, Your arms were getting sore.
I longed to take your parcels, I wish I could do more.
I was with you at my grave today, You tend it with such care.
I want to re-assure you, that I'm not lying there.
I walked with you towards the house, as you fumbled for your key.
I gently put my paw on you, I smiled and said " it's me."
You looked so very tired, and sank into a chair.
I tried so hard to let you know, that I was standing there.
It's possible for me, to be so near you everyday.
To say to you with certainty, "I never went away."
You sat there very quietly, then smiled, I think you knew...
In the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you.
The day is over... I smile and watch you yawning
and say "good-night, God bless, I'll see you in the morning."
And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide,
I'll rush across to greet you and we'll stand, side by side.
I have so many things to show you, there is so much for you to see.
Be patient, live your journey out...then come home to be with me

pippa
1st May 2012, 11:16 AM
Thinking of you Anne, can't believe it's been a year....Ella is still with you in your heart xx

matties mum
1st May 2012, 03:47 PM
thinking of you and cannot believe it has been a year

I Haven’t Left At All

I saw you gently weeping as you looked through photographs
You paused for just a moment at one that made you laugh.
But as you turned more pages the tears began to flow
You whispered that you missed me but I want you to know;
I softly licked those stinging tears that down your cheeks did fall
I want to help you understand I haven’t left at all.

On those days that you are overcome with sorrow, pain and grief
I rest my head upon your leg to offer some relief.
When you take our walking path I’ve seen you turn around
Because I know you surely heard my paws upon the ground.

At night while you are sleeping I snuggle at your side
You stroke my fur as you touch that place where I used to lie.
You said it’s just your heart playing tricks upon your mind
But rest assured I’m really there, my spirit’s left behind.

I know your heart is hurting; it’s like an open sore
You think my life has ended and you won’t see me anymore.
But for those of us bound tight by love, death is not the curtain call;
It’s really the eternal beginning that waits for us all
So, dear Master as you live your life I patiently await
For us to be together when you pass through Heaven’s gate.
---Aileen