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View Full Version : Better to have love and lost then never have loved at all...getting another cavalier



anniemac
16th July 2011, 02:32 AM
I would not take back one moment I had with ella. Wow, now I'm crying. So the answer is absolutely! Now, I just don't know if my heart is ready. Even if I got a cavalier or another dog, no matter how healthy things can happen and my heart might not be able to handle it. Take ella. I thought CM/SM would be what I faced but actually eating a string and having a linear obstruction is what caused her to be put to sleep.

Everyone said to get another one right after she got her wings and I knew it wasn't right. Maybe me writing this and it making me cry is a sign I'm not ready? Will I ever be? I have always been so attached to dogs so having another cavalier is a definate but do you ever get over the fear of not being able to open your heart?

I'm going to visit tomorrow, I just want to be sure I make the right decision and I'm talking myself out of it. I'm not like most who will see a puppy and be hooked. I've distanced myself like when you date a guy and they hurt you then you push others away?

I'm so confused

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Sydneys Mom
16th July 2011, 03:57 AM
Anne, don't be scared to love again. When you visit tomorrow, you will know in your heart if this is the right dog for you or not. This dog will not be Ella, no dog ever will. But you will love another cavalier again, differently than you loved Ella, but just as much, and your new companion will be blessed to have you in his/her life. Good luck tomorrow.

Erin2854
16th July 2011, 04:50 AM
I am so proud and happy for you Anne! There will NEVER be another Ella- she was one in a million. But u have too much love in your heart to not share it with another cavalier. Even if u do not find "the one" right away, at least your heart is open to let one in. Ella will lead the right one to you, just have faith. I'm sure she will take it's little paw in hers and lead them to you. A mommy as special as you deserves the perfect match :luv:

GraciesMom
16th July 2011, 04:54 AM
Anne, don't be scared to love again. When you visit tomorrow, you will know in your heart if this is the right dog for you or not. This dog will not be Ella, no dog ever will. But you will love another cavalier again, differently than you loved Ella, but just as much, and your new companion will be blessed to have you in his/her life. Good luck tomorrow.People and doggies often lose loved ones in lives. Elton has lost his family. Love is a gamble no matter what...you can lose an angel like Ella, a parent, a best friend, your child, your boyfriend. In the end, it is a choice of taking the risk to love again or the bigger risk of running away. So the question that I have for you is... Is it time yet to take the risk to love again, not if you ever could or should? I think you will know when you meet little Elton if it is time or not for you Go with what you feel in your heart.

BrooklynMom
16th July 2011, 06:53 AM
This must be really hard, and everyone gave advice...but your right, it is like loving in a relationship...but just remember the joy you felt every time you fell in love again. Each relationship is different, each love feels new, nothing is the same, but it is all so fulfilling and gives you life lessons you wouldn't have otherwise gained. By loving another dog, you will not be loving Ella less, or forgetting about Ella, you will just be adding something to your pot of life stew, not taking anything away. Now, what dog is right for you now is all about your heart and intuition, you will know...just like you do with love :lotsaluv:

Zumie05
16th July 2011, 07:00 AM
I really believe that if our deceased pets are watching over us, they want us to be happy and move on. Lingering in sadness is the last thing they want for us. Celebrate and remember the time you and Ella had together, that will never go away or be replaced. You will know when the time is right, let us know how your visit goes!

Jasper and Holly
16th July 2011, 09:06 AM
[QUOTE=anniemac;396777]I would not take back one moment I had with ella. Wow, now I'm crying. So the answer is absolutely! Now, I just don't know if my heart is ready.Everyone said to get another one right after she got her wings and I knew it wasn't right. Maybe me writing this and it making me cry is a sign I'm not ready? Will I ever be? I have always been so attached to dogs so having another cavalier is a definate but do you ever get over the fear of not being able to open your heart? When I lost my last Cav Sam I said to my husband I don't want another one because I don't want to go through that heartache again. After only eight months of him passing we got two and I'm so glad we did. I still miss him and often shed a tear and probably always will. You will never forget Ella and there's a Cav out there waiting for you to share your heart. I look forward to that time when it comes.Deb

anniemac
16th July 2011, 05:00 PM
You know what gracie said about elton losing his family pulled at my heart. I lost ella and he lost the parents he loved. Maybe we will learn how to love again together. If not him and he is not right maybe another one will come my way. I will let ella guide me

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Desrae
16th July 2011, 05:43 PM
Yes, let Ella guide you, listen to you heart. I liked what everyone advised, Gracie's advice was spot on... :lotsaluv:

sunshinekisses
16th July 2011, 06:10 PM
This is really a beautiful and heartfelt thread. Losing my first cavalier was so hard. She was my heart dog and I had a lot of emotional attatchment to her. We bought her because I was baby hungry and so she filled that void for me, then I had some medical issues of my own and I was bed bound, well my cavalier was always right there with me for hours in that bed. It was very painful when she died because she was such a huge part of me. I think it was somewhat easier for me to find that next cavalier because I had already started the process before Sunshine passed. I was already looking for a show dog so when she died it just sped up the process. However when I went to visit the first two litters the pups did nothing for me. I wanted to hold the mom dogs. :)
I ended up fostering a couple dogs while I waited for a litter to be born, then grew and finally I was ready. So, just let your heart lead you. You will know when it feels right!

anniemac
16th July 2011, 06:21 PM
This is really a beautiful and heartfelt thread. Losing my first cavalier was so hard. She was my heart dog and I had a lot of emotional attatchment to her. We bought her because I was baby hungry and so she filled that void for me, then I had some medical issues of my own and I was bed bound, well my cavalier was always right there with me for hours in that bed. It was very painful when she died because she was such a huge part of me. I think it was somewhat easier for me to find that next cavalier because I had already started the process before Sunshine passed. I was already looking for a show dog so when she died it just sped up the process. However when I went to visit the first two litters the pups did nothing for me. I wanted to hold the mom dogs. :)
I ended up fostering a couple dogs while I waited for a litter to be born, then grew and finally I was ready. So, just let your heart lead you. You will know when it feels right!

That sounds like me :) I'm looking for the right puppy maybe show dog don't know or pet but will take time for right breeding etc. I'm willing to wait and.even for a rescue if its not right. I don't want to be a rash decision but just visiting may be a step. Elton is a little younger (ella just turned 5) but it seems right age. I want to make sure I can give a home that is best for elton or another furry friend

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Furrfoot
16th July 2011, 08:33 PM
As everyone said, you'll know when you're ready, and you'll know who you meet your new dog/puppy to be. After Clint passed, it took me 6 months, and my husband a year (I think loneliness worked on me being able to get to that point sooner, being at home by myself after 13 years of having my furkid with me everywhere I went).

After Mattie passed suddenly, it was only a month before we got Rose. My husband and I weren't really ready, but our 7 year old was and was lonely (and watching her try to get the elderly cats to play with her was kinda heartbreaking and funny at the same time- kids are so much more resilant than adults), so we got Rose. I thought it might be a little harder giving my heart, but it wasn't. The fear of losing her part, however, has been harder to deal with. In that aspect, I was not ready, but you do what you've got to do for your kids. So please make sure you know that you know that you know that your next love is "the one" and that you're ready, so you can enjoy every second and throw yourself into loving him or her wholeheartedly, without reservation or fear. Love and prayers for you as you work all this through and start this journey to bring another into your heart (((hugs))).