PDA

View Full Version : Advice on Abbey from my fellow SM owners



linderbelle
26th December 2011, 10:15 PM
oh guys. What a road I've been on for the past 3 years with Abbey. I've tried discussing thiois with hubby but I get nowhere--I don't think he stand the pain--like I can??? Abbey is my precious angel and you all know that. I don't know if I'm in denial. I'm seriously thinking the time has come to put her down and I can't believe I am saying that. She falls all the time and i wetting in the house all the time because it's so hard for her to go out which isn't her at all. These are the main reasons. I've never had to put a dog down before. Thank god they have gone on their own. I truly don't know what to do anymore. I truly don't think she's in pain. If this was you dog what would you be asking yourself before you made the decision. This hurts so dang much.

Linda

sins
26th December 2011, 10:50 PM
Hi Linda,
I understand what you're going through right now.
The only advice I can give,is to consult with your vets.If you've reached the point where nothing medically can be done to improve her quality of life,and taking into account the prognosis in the long term for her,it may be better to say goodbye to her.
I know how awful it is to watch a dog deteriorate to the point where the bad days outweigh the good and sometimes it's just hope keeps us going.
What we need to do is to get a true picture of what's happening with her,not what we want it to be,or what we think it is.
Some questions I ask myself at the moment..
is it fixable?
If it's not, can she live as she is?
If it's not fixable and the outlook is poor,then I think,a release from pain and suffering is justified.
But we need to be in possession of all the medical facts to make an informed decision,one with which we can live with.
Sins

RodRussell
27th December 2011, 12:49 AM
How is her appetite? Does she wag when she sees you?

linderbelle
27th December 2011, 12:51 AM
Hi Sins. I know you know how I feel. I took her right after Thanksgiving to neuro and she said we're doing all that she would recommend but she did up her prilosec to a full tablet and doubled her prednisone and hoping the double prednisone will help her weakness. We just started it though because of her ulcerated eye as vet said it would delay recovery with the eye. She also said I would come to the point of putting he down. In regards to bad days vs good days I truly don't believe she's in pain. If I thoughtin she was the decision would be made. I do think she can live as she is Sins. I guess in regards to going outside we need to help her more as the stairs are hard. You gave me good advice and I'm taking her to her regular vet this week and will talk to him and she goes to her neuro again in about a month. Its so hard to see how far she has changed this last year. I hate this disease with a passion.

Hugs Sins.

linderbelle
27th December 2011, 12:56 AM
She eats well Rod. The prednisone makes her hungry. She used to go sometimes a couple days without eating but not since the prednisone. She loves us and wags her tail when we come home She also sometimes comes up to me to sit on my lap and she loves our nightime ritual at bedtime when I rub her butt. I appreciate your responses as it helps so much. I really don't think shes in pain. She has such trouble getting up and with stairs and the slippery floors.

Margaret C
27th December 2011, 01:01 AM
Dear Linda,

You have been so strong and I know you love her so much.
I read what you have written and I think you have answered your own question. What is her quality of life? Would you want to be her?

Once I left a dog too long and her end haunted me. Since then I have always believed better a day too soon than a day too late.

Sometimes it truly is the last and most important act of love you can give them.

linderbelle
27th December 2011, 01:19 AM
I'm answering as honest as I can Margaret as you know me and our story. I don't think she has hit bottom yet but I think she's close. I do feel one day she will not be able to get up and that will be it. I do believe she is happy and if I thought for a moment she wasn't then again the answer would be made. Her quality of life---I think of her as handicapped right now and many handicapped people are happy and I truly believe she is happy. Would I want to be her--I'm numb and unable to even type. I don't know Margaret---that's where I get scared and think I'm delaying this for me but I'd never willingly do that to her. If she cried or seemed to be in pain it would be so easy. Obviously, I haven't made an appointment so I guess that means I'm not ready. I need to know from people I trust such as yourself to tell me what the signs are etc. I have trouble getting up from a chair because of my knee--does that mean I'm not happy? No it does not--it just means I'm old and the joints aren't like they used to be. I think I just answered it for myself that I don't truly feel she's at rockbottom yet but if she keeps going down then there isn't much down left.

Love my Cavaliers
27th December 2011, 03:41 AM
When we were deciding when to put our german shepherd to sleep (she had a progressive neurologic disorder) the vet said we would know when it's time. Well, I thought I did, and then she started going up and down the stairs on her own again so I cancelled the appointment. Within four more days though she hadn't moved for almost 24 hours, except for wagging her tail when she saw us. That was a pretty good sign. She just seemed to have that one last burst of energy before her body collapsed on her. Like Abbey, she also never seemed to show any signs of pain, so I don't think pain needs to necessarily be one of your deciding factors if it has never been an issue all along. It's never an easy decision to let them go, but for our shepherd at the time, I know it was the right decision.

Give the prednisone a little more time to work and then reevaluate how she is. Maybe you'll see a difference, maybe not. If not, then you'll just start to feel in your heart more and more when the right time is for Abbey. And it will be heartbreaking, whenever it is even if it's years from now. Let us know how you two are getting along.

Sydneys Mom
27th December 2011, 04:01 AM
I've been reading this thread today and know that some day I will be in the same position. I have no advice for you. I just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you and Abbey and whenever you make her time comes, your decision will be a well thought out and it will be whatever is best for Abbey. Prayers and hugs to you, Abbey and your family.

linderbelle
27th December 2011, 06:32 AM
Oh my dear Beverly I came downstairs because I woke up and thought of this site and if anybody else had answered and of all people one of the two is you that I have not seen. 3 years ago you heard my sobs on tears on the phone and helped me through such a trying time and here I am almost 3 years. This is actually the time of year I think when I started figuring things out in regards to her. For me to even be having these thoughts right now is definitely a sign that the time is coming. That tells you how bad she is and I know you truly do understand because you are the one person on this site that I talked to soooooo much by phone.

Sydneys Mom--yes I am thinking this through and I sooooo appreciate your advice more than you know.

My heart hurts pretty heavy right now as I truly do know we're getting close. I hear what the neuro said and Bev said it--I will know when its time and I don't right now so I guess that means in my heart its not time.

Linda

Kathleen
27th December 2011, 09:49 AM
Oh Linda, I feel for you. I had a very old staffie/cross who was declining with various medical ailments and she was about 15 or 16 yrs old. It was the first time I had to deal with the thought of euthanasia and didn't know when or if. Everyone told me that I would know when it was time, but I just felt that I didn't. That day, I knew what everyone meant as she (Granny was her name) wouldn't eat anything and looked as though she was in pain, but what convinced me that it was time, was the look in her eyes. I believe that the way she looked at me told me that she was ready. It is such a hard thing to do, but in most cases, the kindest. Fortunately with Jade, my SM cavalier, that decision was taken out of my hands and her suffering ended when she died following surgery. All I can say is take it day by day and you WILL know when it's time. Thinking of you and Abbey. xxx

sins
27th December 2011, 01:56 PM
The hardest thing Linda is the guilt.We want to give our beloved dogs every chance and we think of all the things we love so much about them..
We had an emergency visit to the vet yesterday again.
And we know she has advanced liver failure which she may recover from with a strict diet and liver supplements.
However,she cannot have NSAIDs again for the forseeable future and she has HD and SM and we face the challenge of being unable to control her pain.
However,we suspect that she has a tumour in the liver or bile duct which will make our decision clear cut.
This is a terrible time where we find ourselves in Limbo,uncertain of what to do and needing just that bit more information to tell us the truth of just how bad things are.
Good luck with your decision and we're all here for you.
Sins

ByFloSin
27th December 2011, 03:15 PM
I'm here for you too Linda.

I have had to make the decision for all except one of my departed dogs over the years. All I can do that might help is to tell you what the 'triggers' were for me:

Mandy Poodle was 17 1/2, fit but very frail. The family kept telling me it was time, but I could not accept it. Then one day this voracious eater sat on her bown full of food instead of eating it. Then I knew and made an appointment for the next day. I think Mandy knew too, because it was the first time in all the years we lived in Redruth that she had allowed me to take her on the same side of the road as the vet. I had never seen a dog euthenaised before and was shaking like a leaf, but once I saw how quick and peaceful it was I knew I would not hesitate again.

Emma had her 15th birthday which seemed to signal the end for her. She had really bad arthritis and was getting wobbly on her legs. Warts around her eyes were growing back as fast as the vet was scraping them away. The vet was pretty sure she had cancer but we didn't want to do any invasive investigations, although she was still mvd clear. Then she stopped eating. The vet checked her over and said there was nothing more he could do to help her. He said to bring her in at any time. After several days I had to take her outside to toilet, but she just stood there with a blank look on her eyes and obviously had no idea of where she was or why, so I made the appointment for the next morning. She was gone in seconds. Peacefully and in my arms.

I had really been hoping that Angus would carry on, he was very frail at 16 yrs 10 mths and I wanted him to reach 17. The week before the decisive day a very tiny Yorkie pup had run into the side of him, knocking him down. Poor Angus had no idea what had happened, he just lay on the ground looking at me. I helped him up and he managed to carry on with his walk, so that was that. His appetite was good and everything seemed to work, albeit very slowly, so he carried on. Just a week later I took Angus out for a short toilet walk. He wanted to go and tried to dig his heels in to the pavement to do what he needed, but his legs kept going from under him. Finally he sat down on the ground and looked at me. Total despair was in his eyes. He had had enough of living, so again I took him to the vet and he seemed to pass gladly.

Angus and Emma had two daughters that I kept. Victoria was 13 1/2 and was fit and well except for an arythmic heartbeat. The fateful day of 9/11 she had her first seizure, which I now believe to be SM. A trip to the vet gave no diagnosis, but the vet thought it might have been vestibular disease. She had several more fits, increasingly frequent, then the following day before Christmas Eve she had a really severe one and could not get up. She was in deep distress. I rushed her to the vet. He advised euthenasia and she was another who passed peacefully in my arms.

Easter was the other pup I kept. She too reached 15. She had had a fine show life in veteran classes but went downhill rapidly after I retired her from the ring at 14 1/2. A month after her birthday she had a fit during the night and I thought I would loose her, but she rallied. She was due a check up for her glaucoma at the vet's the following afternoon. On the way her legs kept going underneath her, leading to the indignity for her of having to be carried onto the bus. She was obviously unhappy in the waiting room and disorented. When we were called to go into the surgery I put her down to walk in with dignity, but this was not to be, as her legs went again and she could not get up. I knew without doubt that it was time. She was the fourth Cavalier who passed peacefully in my arms.

I hope there is something in what I have told you that might be comforting or helpful. If there is anything I can do then please let me know.

linderbelle
27th December 2011, 03:27 PM
Hi Kathleen---I appreciate your writing. From everybody's posts everbody says I will know and I definitely have doubts so that means its not time. My husband definitely says it's not time and even though she's more attached to me he is her daddy and he loves her so much also so we both need to come to agreement.

Like Beverly said with this disease you just don't know regarding the progression.

Sins I am so sorry. I read a bit about what you are going through also.

I've always promised Abbey that I will never ever let her suffer and like somebody says I have a feeling one day she will look at me and I know she will be saying to me "I'm tired Mom--let me go" and now the tears are flowing.

Thanks all of you. I know this site is always here for all of us.

linderbelle
27th December 2011, 03:41 PM
yes Flo it does help. You must have posted that at the same time I posted.

Abbey is only 7 years old. She will be 8 on the 21st of January and she came from Slovakia and we were so stupid but her neuro told us we saved her and she has had a good life with us for sure. She's had parents who definitely loved her and took care of her needs etc. She has given me so much joy but I'm afraid I won't know and she will suffer but from reading all these posts I feel now that I will know and more importantly Abbey will tell me. Who knows maybe a miracle will happen and doubling the prednisone will miraculously help her. We have non-skid socks on her which help alot. We have to figure something out to make it easier for her to go outside. They have a doggy door but the steps are really hard on her. George built a ramp on the left side of the steps and put some covering on it but she sort of slides down that so we need to come up with something else for outside to cover it with to make it easier as a ramp is easier than steps.

Thanks and God Bless all of you.

anniemac
27th December 2011, 03:56 PM
Linda,

It seems that you already received your answer but I thought I would post to just tell you I believe you will know and Abbey will tell you. I know there is a library section here on how do you know, but I remember reading it and even though it is helpful, I know for me, Ella told me. You know Abbey more than anyone else and can see her everyday. SM is SO hard and it can be especially hard on the people who care for them. I was at the point one time of thinking of another surgery for Ella. My neurologist contacted Dr. Dewey and he explained it was VERY risky and there was a chance Ella would be paralyzed. I decided not to or maybe as a last resort but I could not put her through that.

Ella always seemed like Riley and a little like Abbey. She had trouble with mobility. I would be at a point of having her in a stroller then she would surprise me and go running and playing on a Cavalier meet up. I thought NO she is not ready. She had that life in her but I had to make adjustments like doggie stairs and carrying her sometimes. I had switched medication and she seemed to be doing better but God had another plan. It wasn't her SM that made me decide it was time to go to Rainbows Bridge, but she had a large part of her intestine removed. If she survived, it probably would not be a life worth living. Some people told me to go ahead and put her to sleep but maybe it was me or her but I waited until I got a call saying it was not good. The Internal Medicine Doctor said it has never happened to him before, but the surgery did not work. She would need ANOTHER surgery or well she would not survive.

Ella's neurologist was back because this all happened over the weekend. When I visited her that weekend she would not get out of the cage. It was the saddest thing and I would just lay in there with my hand touching her during visiting hours. When that call came Monday, I went to the hospital knowing I was going to send her away. I was amazed that she was up and with a smile on her face. I think she knew. We went outside in the sun and I had her neurologist with me as I said my final goodbye. I really can't explain it but I knew she was telling me it's ok.

I hope this helps some and know that I am thinking of you.

Love my Cavaliers
27th December 2011, 05:10 PM
Linda,

When the time comes to make the decision, you can rest a little easier knowing that it is very gentle and peaceful. When we had our shepherd (Rachie) put to sleep, my daughter was with me. We laid Rachie on her bed and my daughter held her head and stroked her while the vet gave the injection. It really just seemed like she went to sleep, there was no jerkiness, no spasms, she didn't even pee or poop (at least that's my recollection). At first, I told them I didn't want her ashes, but then they called later and told me they had them if I wanted them. Now I'm kind of glad I have them. Something to think about when the time comes.

This is just to put your mind at ease a bit about the process - that it really is a kindness at the end, a relief of their suffering. I know Abbey isn't there yet. Enjoy every minute of your time with her. I look at Riley all the time with amazement and wonder and think "You should not be alive". One of these days I will be in your shoes and dreading it. But for now, I just look at her and hug her and love her. I know you're doing the same with Abbey.

paula12
28th December 2011, 11:02 AM
Linda

All our thoughts are with you. When living with an SM dog we prepare ourselves for that dreadful decision that one day we have to make. It's been nearly 4 months since I put Bonnie to sleep at the tender age of 3 yrs, and though she had trouble with mobility she still had more good days than bad and I was not prepared for the decision i had to make. In the end it was not SM that led to my decision but she just did not recover from surgery to an abcess wrapped around her trachea and developed an infection in her lungs that would not respond to antibiotics, in the end could not maintain adequate oxygen percentage in her blood, it was one of the hardest decisions I made but I know in my heart it was the right one and she went peacefully. When the time comes you will know in your heart and until that day arrives try and enjoy every moment with Abbey.

Thinking of you

linderbelle
28th December 2011, 01:59 PM
Oh paula--I can't imagine making that decision with a 3 year old. I feel robbed and Abbey is 7. I am so sorry you went through that. I am taking it one day at a time in regards to her and enjoying her time left with us no matter how long it will be. She has changed so dang much this past year and time will tell and I do appeciate all your posts more than you know as it has helped me see that it's not time yet.

Love ya and God Bless you.

Linda

Nicki
28th December 2011, 03:57 PM
I'm sorry you are having to face this - I've had to help 7 Cavaliers to leave this life, one the decision was taken for us by the vet during surgery, but the others we had to decide. I ALWAYS feel it's better to let them go too soon than to leave them too long, as Margaret says above, sadly many people keep dogs going too long and then do carry that guilt. My own vet said that was one of the hardest parts of her job, so many times she would know that an animal had had enough, but the owner insisted on keeping them going.


I don't believe my dogs let me know, I knew, from knowing my dogs intimately, when what they were dealing with was just too overwhelming for them and nothing further could be done to help them. One of them was only 3, another was my heart dog who was only 6 - age is NOT a deciding factor sadly, we would all like to have Cavaliers who live well into their teens but the reality now, due to all the health problems they suffer from, is that long lived Cavaliers are rare.

With Cavaliers, they wag their tails until they leave us, so I don't think that is an indicator - even a dog in severe pain, as they want to please us and they are genuinely happy to see us.

Also, especially if they are on steroids, SM affected dogs still tend to have a good appetite [obviously not in MVD or Pancreatitis, kidney or liver diseases etc]





PLEASE read this section http://www.cavaliertalk.com/forums/content.php?116-How-do-you-know-when-it-s-time-The-hardest-decision



Dogs also have no mindset for emotional surrender or giving up. They have no awareness of the inevitability of death as we do and they have no fear of it. It is fear that so often influences and aggravates our perceptions when we are sick or dying and it becomes impossible to separate the fear out from the actual illness after a while. But that's not the case with dogs. Whatever we observe to be wrong with our sick dogs, it's all illness. And we don't even see the full impact of that until it's at a very advanced point, because it's a dog's nature to endure and to sustain the norm at all costs.

If that includes pain, then that's the way it is. Unlike us, they have never learned that letting pain show, or reporting on it, may generate relief or aid. So they endure, assuming in their deepest doggy subconscious that whatever we abide for them is what is to be abided. If there is a "look in the eye", or an indication of giving up, that we think we see from our beloved dogs, it isn't a conscious attitude on their part or a decision to communicate something to us. It's just an indication of how tired and depleted they are. But they don't know there's any option other than struggling on, so that's what they do.

We must assume that the discomfort we see is much less than the discomfort they really feel. And we do know of other options and it is entirely our obligation to always offer them the best option for that moment, be it further intervention, or none, or the gift of rest.



THE MOST IMPORTANT CONSIDERATION IS:

IS YOUR DOG HAPPY WITH THEIR QUALITY OF LIFE?

Are they able to comfortably take themselves outside to eliminate - dogs who are house trained can find it distressing to soil in the house.

Are they able to interact with you and their companions?

Are they able to rest comfortably? Enjoying their meals?



You can add to this list with things you know are important to your own dog.



I'm sorry you are dealing with this and I do hope that Abbey will be more comfortable on the higher dose of steroids.

linderbelle
28th December 2011, 05:59 PM
I'm taking her to vet this afternoon for recheck of her eye and going to have heart-to-heart talk with him.

Sydneys Mom
28th December 2011, 06:10 PM
Sending prayers and positive thoughts that all goes well. I will be thinking of you and Abbey during this difficult time.

linderbelle
28th December 2011, 10:37 PM
Home from vet. Jeff my vet agrees with me and said no quality of life. Now to make my husband come to grips with this. My eyes are swollen from the tears. My heart aches. I so hate this syringomyelia with a passion.

Margaret C
29th December 2011, 12:03 AM
My Dear Friend,

I am so sorry. I am crying with you.

This is so hard for you both but I know you and your husband will put Abbey's needs first, just as you have always done.

My thoughts are with you tonight.

anniemac
29th December 2011, 12:21 AM
I am so sorry xxx

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Kate H
29th December 2011, 12:24 AM
This is the last loving thing you can do for Abbey, but it never becomes any easier, however many times you do it, and however right and loving it feels. We all grieve for our dogs, but we are the people we are today in part because of our relationship with them, so Abbey will always be part of you.

Love from Kate, Oliver and Aled :hug:

Sydneys Mom
29th December 2011, 12:41 AM
I'm so sorry. Sending you hugs and prayers during this difficult time.

Desrae
29th December 2011, 12:57 AM
thinking of you and Abbey with love. Sending you hugs.

Karlin
29th December 2011, 01:01 AM
I'm so sorry. You are at a place that requires love and courage. There's some good support and shared experience in the thread that should help as many others have been in this place and know the conflicting emotions.

One of the great kindnesses we can show a much loved dog is the kindness of relieving a terrible burden of illness and pain by letting them go gently before the pain and disability defines their lives and the majority of their hours are pain-filled. Often the hardest thing to do is to recognise when we are asking them to struggle on for us -- not because they have any quality of life or would want further hours and days of pain. When the timeline is limited, I think real love is letting them go when it is clear time is short but they are not tipping into deep suffering. We can, as their best friends, at least spare them that.

paula12
29th December 2011, 01:51 AM
Have tears in my eyes, am thinking of you during this difficult time

Jasperxxgabby
29th December 2011, 02:17 AM
Dear Linda
It is just so heartbreaking reading this thread, I am so truly sorry that this is happening and my thoughts are with you all.
Andrea xx

Kathleen
29th December 2011, 06:02 AM
Oh Linda, I'm so sorry. I'm also in tears here and know what you're going through, life seems so cruel sometimes. I am thinking of you and Abbey.xxx

ByFloSin
29th December 2011, 09:41 AM
Have tears in my eyes, am thinking of you during this difficult time

Me too. It's so hard to let go but sometimes you have to.

Sandrac
29th December 2011, 11:28 AM
Oh Linda, am thinking of you. This is something all of us with our SM dogs will be facing at sometime. Sending hugs across the sea:hug:

Sabby
29th December 2011, 12:25 PM
I am crying reading this. My heart truly aches for you and my thoughts are with you and your husband. Sending lots of
:hug:

linderbelle
29th December 2011, 03:40 PM
Karlin said it right on the nose and beautifully. I'm on such a roller coaster and have conflicting emotions right now. One minute I'm posting that yes this is it and then 2 minutes later I'm rethinking it. Through alot of tears hubby and I talked alot last night. I asked him the question if he would want to live if he were Abbey and all he could do was cry and as I type that I cry also. He feels we need to give her a couple weeks for the increase in prednisone and omeprazole to see if there is any change. I don't think a couple weeks will make any difference and I'm not sure if I want to spend the rest of my time off (I work for a college and its holiday break) laying in bed sobbing my heart out. Maybe I'm still in denial and not ready yet either as I look at her and then tell myself that when its something important she sure doesn't have any trouble getting around--if there is food being cooked or a ride in the car or treat time then its a whole different ballgame. Sometimes I look in her eyes and I see a dog that is tired of this disease. I am just so dang confused right now and I can't put her down in this confusion. Crying again. I guess one day it will all click and that will be it and I truly do believe it won't be long.

Linda

linderbelle
29th December 2011, 07:07 PM
Today I went in Abbeys blog to update it and hadn't been in there for ages. I looked at the picture of the dog at the top of the page and lost it. I truly don't remember Abbey with that vigor and spunk. It was the eye opener that I needed. After that I went upstairs and called George and of course lost it. I told him I was making the appt. He is trying to tell me this is from upping her prednisone. I kept telling him do you thnk this isru something I have just come up with. I towld him he's in denial which he is and he turns my head around at times. He thoen went on to tell me she's his dog too and to please give no prednisone in the a.m. I refused. Without one prednisone she will be miserable. So now he's agreed to the one prednisone in the a.m. He's hanging on for a miracle and for the Abbey that used to be. He said we will decide tonight. I'm almost at peace now as I know we're doing the right thing for her. Please pray that my hubby comes to grips with this tonight as now it's so hard for me to see her like she really is.

Nicki
29th December 2011, 09:46 PM
I'm so sorry, I know it's terribly hard and it's even worse when it's not just your decision. I think others would agree that sometimes men don't want to see what is happening, and you have to commit extra emotional energy in trying to persuade them to see the real picture.

it's helpful that you were able to look at your blog and see the huge difference - I think perhaps that has made up your mind for you?


Jeff my vet agrees with me and said no quality of life.

Keep this in mind too - would your vet speak to your husband if he still isn't sure?


We'd all love a miracle - and we are all wishing for one for you.

I think once you have made the decision you will feel at peace - and I've found that once I have made the 'phone call and arranged for my vet to come out, my dogs have seemed to be at peace too. If it would help, it might be worth asking if your vet will come to your house?


Keeping you in our hearts

Love my Cavaliers
29th December 2011, 10:30 PM
Oh Linda, you can tell that George is at his wit's end too. In one post you say that George wants to give it a few more weeks to give the increased prednisone a chance to work and then in the next post, it seems like he's blaming the increased prednisone on Abbey's deterioration. He is hurting too and doesn't want to make the decision any more than you do. Has he looked at the blog picture? Maybe that would help him too. You do want to be on the same page so that there are no lingering feelings of resentment or feelings that one of you pushed the other into the decision. Nicki's suggestion about having the vet talk to George is probably a good one if he is still unsure or irrational about it.

I truly don't think there is a miracle about to happen here. Like I told you in my e-mail, if the increased prednisone was going to make a difference, it probably would have already. With all of my dogs it seems to work really quickly, usually within a day or two. I guess every dog is different, but that's been my experience. This is just heartbreaking.

linderbelle
29th December 2011, 10:31 PM
it's helpful that you were able to look at your blog and see the huge difference - I think perhaps that has made up your mind for you?

yes Nikki. The picture is what I needed to see that the real Abbey is gone and my heart hurts so dang much. I have 4 dogs and she's my favorite--always has been. She has been through so much in her lifetime and didn't deserve this awful disease and she's only a lousy 7 years old. Sheha has always had such a will to live and I truly know now tha it she just wants to rest. She was so dang good for 2 years after her surgery and has slowly been declining this past year. I'm such a mess right now. Yes my vet yesterday said he would talk to George if need be and I don' think it will be necessary. When he sees the picture it will hit him like a ton of bricks like it did me. Vets don't really come to the house anymore and my vet is old-school. When I ask him if he's working on monday and monda is probably a holiday he will probably tell me yes. Just the way he is.

Oh my dear lord I hope they find a cure for this disease or breeders figure it out as it hurts worse than cancer. At least with cancer it doesn't go on for years and years. Abbey did not deserve this and I truly am so thankful for the joy she has given me and I know in time the pain will get less and the joy of her wil remain.

Linda

linderbelle
30th December 2011, 12:02 AM
oh my god. He just came home and he called our vet on his own He does love our Abbey also. The vet told him he's been bugged also by her energy level and been thiking like crazy since I was there. He now thinks that this might be prednisone related. He told George she's been on a low dose for a couple years and something about the adrenaline glands and not producing enough sugar--this is not diabetic related. Over my head. Abbey's neurologist is of course at a University which of course is closed for break and he said he wants to talk to the neurologist. This man is really unique. The old school type. I have his cell phone # and can call him night or day and has such a bedside manner and doesn't believe in emergency vets--on and on. He has a cavalier and had never heard of sm before Abbey so you know he's read and read and read up on it. His daughter also has 2 cavaliers so he does have a personal interest. I know his wife was there when I was there and she was asking me questions about the disease. Who knows but after hearing this we have to hang on to a bit of hope. I know for him to tell George this he has been thinking and researching etc. If my vet holds out that there might be some hope how can I possibly not give Abbey and us that little chance.

Please pray for alll of u. I believe in the power of prayer and we could use all the prayers we can get right now.

Sydneys Mom
30th December 2011, 12:24 AM
You certainly have my prayers. What a wonderful belated Christmas gift to get a ray of hope for Abbey. I'm glad your vet likes to think things through and not rush into life changing decisions. Hugs and blessings to all of you.

anniemac
30th December 2011, 12:32 AM
You certainly have my prayers. What a wonderful belated Christmas gift to get a ray of hope for Abbey. I'm glad your vet likes to think things through and not rush into life changing decisions. Hugs and blessings to all of you.

Me too. You are in my thoughts and prayers

Spangly
30th December 2011, 12:32 AM
Linda, I can only send you kindest thoughts and hugs during this extremely difficult time. Please keep talking to us, I'm sure I'm one amongst many who can't stop thinking about what you are going through.

Kathleen
30th December 2011, 05:46 AM
Linda, I can only send you kindest thoughts and hugs during this extremely difficult time. Please keep talking to us, I'm sure I'm one amongst many who can't stop thinking about what you are going through.

I also can't stop thinking about you Linda. My prayers are still with Abbey.xxx

ByFloSin
30th December 2011, 09:26 AM
I also can't stop thinking about you Linda. My prayers are still with Abbey.xxx

Mine too and also with you, George, your wonderful caring vet and the neurologist. Maybe they can find a regime to help Abbey.

I am so sorry for what you are going through.

Sabby
30th December 2011, 02:45 PM
Have been thinking of you and Abbey and your husband every day. Your vet sounds like one in a million you are very lucky to have him at a time like this.

linderbelle
30th December 2011, 06:37 PM
Thank you all. I e-mailed Dr. Shores in Mississippi today praying that he checks his e-mail and he did and he replied. I was ready to drive 400 miles with her to see him. I really do believe we are grasping for straws here. Part of me wants to take her picture and post on here but I don't want you all to remember her like the way se is and yea the tears are flowing again. He wrote this:


I understand how difficult this is. I have always thought the owners were better able to judge the time simply by seeing what is in the pet's eyes ... there is a lot you can tell just from how she responds to your "hello"
and a pat on the head. That tells me more about quality of life than anything. If she is continent, not in pain, and be comfrotable and happy most of the day (and enjoys eating), then those are good signs. If she looks at you and here eyes say "I don't want to go on" then you know the answer.

When we have always told Abbey what a pretty girl she is she has always been so happy with tail wagging like crazy. Now she just looks and me dumbfounded. In regards to Dr. Shores last sentence I know the answer. We need to respect our vet and his hopes on this prednisone deal but I truly believe Abbey will leave this earth sometime this week.

The pain right now is so unbearable.

Sydneys Mom
30th December 2011, 07:57 PM
I'm crying with you, but not giving up on prayer. Abbey and her journey have captured my heart and my heart is also breaking. Sending lots of love and hugs from Sydney and me.

linderbelle
30th December 2011, 08:29 PM
I'm not giving up either and right now I am so up and down it's pathetic. I'm sure you can all tell that. I'm really not crazy - I'm just in love with a very special girl. She's messing with our head too--Abbey. George came home early today to work on year end business stuff and he says pretty girl and the tail is wagging. Treats given and she comes running. Maybe we are pushing this too soon. Dr. Shores mentioned pain--she doesn't seem in pain to me. She loves our special times together. She doesn't have the oomph like she used to but the other 3 are lazy and sleep all day unless food comes out and then it's like an alarm has gone off. I've got to get my mind off of this and I do trust my vet and for him to completely turn around in one day is quite amazing actually. Who knows maybe they'll come up with other drugs or whatever. You guys will be informed. Keep praying though. Yes I believe in prayer and so does Abbey. She will be 8 in a couple weeks.

Linda

I'm not the mess I was a couple hours ago. Love you all and thank you all for your posts as you all have helped more than you know.

Karen and Ruby
30th December 2011, 10:53 PM
Oh Linda

This is truely heart wrenching! I don't know what to say- I remember coming on here when Ruby was first diagnosed and you were one of the first people to say some words of encouragement about how well your little Abbey was doing- she had just had her surgery at the time and was making some great progress!
We all know that eventually this disease will take our little ones from us - I can't even imagine what you are going through. Looking at their faces and in to their eyes every day means that we can see when they are struggling- but having to say those words and know that you will never see the wisdom and beauty and life in those eyes ever again is unbearable. I'm not saying any of the right things at all but I know that deep down you have the strength to make that desision for Abbey and when the time is right you will. You made the desision for surgery as you beleived it was in Abbey's best interests- even though there was the possibity that it may not work but you were strong and made that desision. Just remember that and how you have given EVERYTHING to her and she has been such a strong little lady and given you EVERYTHING back!

I've lost the plot now and can't really see what I'm writing- I'm so sorry Linda and please give Abbey a kiss from me- she is so so lucky to have you. What ever you decide it will be the right desision - We are all thinking of you and praying for Abbey xxxxx

Kathleen
31st December 2011, 07:07 AM
Linda I feel for you, it's awful to have this constantly weighing of your mind. I have been in your position twice in the past and can only send all my love, prayers and support to you. :hug:

ByFloSin
31st December 2011, 09:44 AM
Inda,

I am starting to think that Abbey is rather like my Rebel. Rebel iss 9 and has had symptomatic SM for about 18 months or so now. Some days I look at him and think how fit he seems for a dog his age and with his problems, but on the bad ones it is unbearable to watch him suffer and remember how he was before.

The difference between these two dogs is that Rebel has many more good days at present than bad ones, but of course Abbey's bad ones seem to outnumber the others. All I can say is that you are in my thoughts and prayers and that I am here with all the others for you to talk to when things get bad.

linderbelle
31st December 2011, 04:35 PM
I truly know you all understand. Right now we are just waiting for tuesday for vet to contact neuro that saw her 3 weeks ago. I'm so torn on this---I truly don't know if it's time. This is all I can think about and cry. I've got to get my mind on something else and we will dea with it again on tuesday. Hubby and I are talking this through and we've both come to that conclusion to wait and see and then go from there.

Linda

linderbelle
31st December 2011, 10:49 PM
Karen I remember you well. She did so good for the first couple years and then it's been down ever since. I have that blasted blog picture in my head with her strutting so happy. I haven't seen that dog in a very long time. I'm sorry for being such a downer everyone but my head just spins trying to figure all this out. I'm sure going to miss her when the day comes whether it be in a few days or whatever. She is my princess.

linderbelle
1st January 2012, 05:09 AM
I know you all are probably sick of my posts. I'm getting tired of thinking all these things and writing them. This is what I wrote on my Facebook page. We aren't giving up on her yet.

Call us crazy but we've decided to try a product called "Pawz". This year her legs have been getting weak and our hardwood floors are her worst enemy. We have tried non-skid socks and they work pretty well but certainly could be a whole lot better. They turn in no time at all and then the non-skid spots are on the sides or worse yet on the top of her feet which makes the socks worse than wearing nothing at all. We've been watching and analyzing her like crazy this week trying to come to terms with this. We've decided that maybe these rubber boots might work. I've seen the reviews from people and people with cavaliers saying how great they are and how they stay on etc. and being rubber it doesn't matter if they turn. I think if she had more traction that she would have more oomph--that is our hope. You can see where she wants to get up but we think she knows she will slip and slide and fall. It's worth a try anyways. I'm just not ready to give up quite yet. I feel if she had more mobility then even though she would still be a little handicapped that at least she'd be a little more happy. She still shows signs of spunk. Maybe we are grasping for straws but it's truly very hard to give up on her at 7 years old. So it's going to be awhile as it will take about a week to get them. Please keep praying for her--she's such a special little dog.

If she showed signs of pain then this decision wouldn't be hard at all but she truly doesn't. I know if I kept falling all the time that I wouldn't want to get up either. It's like before my knee surgery and I didn't want to walk much as it plain and simple hurt.

Maybe our prayers will be answered and this will work. We still will hear from our vet on tuesday if he talks to her neuro.

I'm sorry for writing so much on here but I know there is so much support here and so many people with dogs with syringomyelia that know what we are going through and it helps more than you know. This site helped me so much 3 years ago and I did my best to help others until I went back to work and didn't have the time that I had before so hard to post.

Thanks for listening everybody and for putting up with these depressing posts.

Linda & Abbey

Sydneys Mom
1st January 2012, 11:50 PM
No need to apologize for writing out your thoughts here. It's horrible what our dogs have to deal with and a roller coaster ride no one wants to be on. I don't live with a SM dog....my Sydney is almost 12 but has severe heart disease, the other bain of our breed. There are days he just sleeps and gets up only for food, water and potty. Other days that puppy spunk comes back. Talking about it with those who understand helps. I guess what I'm trying to say is keep talking to us.

I glad Abbey is having a better day. Any little thing you can do for her to make her day to day easier is a blessing. Just remember that ylu are a loving Mom and Abbey knows that too.

mommytoClaire
2nd January 2012, 02:51 AM
Just thinking of and praying for you all. I feel that as long as you aren't seeing pain, and she is wagging her tail, all is right with the world. This is just my own opinion as it's such a personal decision.

It really does become 'one day at a time'. Only try to conquer today. You are doing so very well...hugs and prayers.

linderbelle
3rd January 2012, 01:14 AM
Yep Cindy. We have decided for "now" that it is no. I have ordered some rubber shoes that were recommended to me. Orthopedic rubber sole soft shoes I guess you would call them. We shall see how much they help. Her "old" neuro told me I would know when the time is right so we're not there yet. We've been watching her reactions to the wood floor and our whole house is almost wood --the stairs and ustairs landing are carpet and at the landing she looked at our bedroom wood floors like geez can't you get rid of these. I will keep all you posted. Thanks for all the wishes and support as it helps so much.

Karlin
3rd January 2012, 01:52 AM
Oh -- I guess maybe I misunderstood the overall concerns of your previous posts -- is the issue really primarily that she is slipping on the floors? If the basic issue is difficulty in walking on floors at the moment, then I'd put down some inexpensive area rugs and runners -- you can get them at IKEA and hardware stores very cheaply. I think those would be a lot more effective than boots (and just be aware than some dogs can find items like boots uncomfortable and more distressing than whatever difficulty they have with slippery surfaces).

Boots also won't do anything for weakness -- ie if she only demonstrates the instability at home on certain floors that is one thing, but if the problem is general, regardless of where she is, then boots are not going to do much of anything especially if the socks didn't make a significant improvement. But I had thought you already had taken steps to get rid of the exposed floor surfaces in the past as she has ben having slipping problems from posts going a ways back I think? and I seem to remember this being discussed then. If some rooms are still too difficult though, I'd close the doors and limit her access to the slippery rooms.

I think you should talk to the neuro about pain however -- it is unlikely any dog with SM, especially severe SM, would be having no or little pain. It is very easy for owners to not think their dog is in pain, as they cover it very well. There are also levels of distress from disability that mean avery poor quality of life for a pet -- for example cats are very disturbed by incontinence. Dr Marino has done a study where they filmed dogs -- they inevitably perked up and wagged tails to see owners but the same dogs were clearly in pain and distress when owners were not there. He made this point at an SM symposium in the Uk to underline that assessment of pain is difficult especially for owners as dogs will try so hard to be outgoing and normal when owners interact with them. Tail wagging cannot really be used to assess the happiness of cavaliers -- they are bred to tail-wag constantly (as can be seen when they are in the show ring) and perhaps this is the result of the fact that they seem to have high levels of the feel-good hormone seratonin. Therefore they likely will often wag regardless of how they feel or hurt, unlike most other breeds. If a cavalier cannot wag that indicates serious distress, but the fact that a cavalier is still wagging its tail really cannot be used to judge pain or happiness. :(

If I had a dog with generally good quality of life with weak hindquarters as the main problem, I'd get one of those dog carts (assuming forelegs are strong enough for the dog to move about). But maybe it is all four limbs?

I think for us to 'know' it is the right time means really understanding what they are going through and being honest in our own attempts at assessment. I think like Nicki, that most people probably do not know when it is 'time' and probably leave it too late, as Margaret says has happened with her -- we tend to hope for sudden recoveries and fail to see that they are struggling early enough. Experience helps but most of us lack that. I think it is judging the right time before there's significant distress, especially with dogs that have a very limited timeline.

But none of us can make this assessment or advise any more than making fairly general comments to try and be helpful. It is impossible really as we cannot see her and we don't see her daily as you do.

When I lost Lucy to MVD I knew we were in her final weeks but in the end she passed away in her sleep quietly. I would not have tried to keep her going for the sake of a few extra days or weeks had she been in distress and struggling, but she was still very gung-ho and mobile and interested in food and life. Watching and waiting is very hard. :flwr:

linderbelle
3rd January 2012, 03:28 PM
Hi Karlin--back to work and I'm on here. Shame on me. Abbey still on my mind way too much as I know you all understand. There is more to it than the weakness. The socks do help but problem is that they turn so easy and then she is walking on slippery socks. We've ordered a couple different items to see if they help. We're really taking this a day at a time. She has gone down alot and I even said last night if we don't put her down in the very near future --meaning next couple weeks then I truly do believe she will be be with us this summer. Maybe I am/we are still in denial. Her neuro that she saw 3 weeks ago has only seen her once so it was hard for her to really help me. I have e-mailed her previous neuro and he has seen videos of her weakness and his advice to us is that he believes the owner knows best. I still do see some oomph but maybe we're trying to grasp at straws here. I truly hope we aren't as I truly don't want her to be in pain. I'm going to be talking to her vet today and he's calling the neuro today also. I'll write more tonight if vet talks to neuro today.

Thanks.

Linda

linderbelle
3rd January 2012, 04:02 PM
I was with my best friend on sunday and she has known Abbey since she was a baby. I just e-mailed her to give me her honest opinion and this is what I heard and trying my darnest not to cry at work:

As far as Abbey goes, I didn’t see any indication that she was in pain.
I looked for it, and didn’t see it. I saw a dog who was eager to please
us and would get excited for us if we asked her to be excited and she
would wag her tail and “smile” for us. I am saddened that she lays on
the floor splayed out until she can get up. I am saddened that she has
accidents in the house. Not for you, but for her – because I can imagine
that she is humiliated that she can’t be better at going outside.

I was very concerned that she wasn’t able to get the food pieces out of
my hand. I was saddened at that part as well.

Now, is all of that a reason to make the final decision? No, those are
lousy reasons to justify the final action. And, the question I keep coming
back to is “What does Abbey deserve?” I wouldn’t say she is suffering,
AND I would say that she has a difficult life right now.

I can’t believe I am going to actually type this out – but if she were my dog,
I think I would let her go peacefully. Okay, I can’t cry any more at my desk
right now, there are people standing behind me having a section meeting.


I trust her and maybe this is what I/we need to hear. Can't say anything more--I'm at work.

Kathleen
3rd January 2012, 04:41 PM
Oh Linda, the roller-coaster ride continues for you. Again, my advice is one day at a time. It seems that you are suffering the most at the moment and sometimes delaying what sadly could be the inevitable is pure emotional torture. Wait to see what the neuro says and don't feel pressured to make a decision now. Please know that I am thinking of you constantly and send lots of love and support.xxx

linderbelle
3rd January 2012, 05:12 PM
I actually called George and said let's put her down today as I know my friend is right. I truly do and I know in my heart we are not doing what is right for her and she's not happy. George of course is saying he was going by the house and wants to check on her and then wants to hear what our vet comes up with after talking to her neuro. I told him he's in denial and he said no. I really can't take much more of this. I will give George today but unless the neuro and vet come up with a miracle Abbey's blog will show goodbye tomorrow.

Linda

ourempire
3rd January 2012, 06:20 PM
I feel so sorry for Abbey, you and your family. Many thoughts to all of you :hug:

linderbelle
3rd January 2012, 06:24 PM
putting her down at 5:00 today and my heart hurts so dang much. I left work and am at home to spend herr last hours with her. I so hateeeeee sm. She didn't deserve this and neither did we.

Kathleen
3rd January 2012, 07:41 PM
I'm so very sorry Linda.

ByFloSin
3rd January 2012, 07:43 PM
putting her down at 5:00 today and my heart hurts so dang much. I left work and am at home to spend herr last hours with her. I so hateeeeee sm. She didn't deserve this and neither did we.

I work from home so I have time to feel your pain and to cry my heart out for you all. Sleep well sweet Abbey knowing how much you were loved and that you will be sorely missed.

Linda in time the pain will ease and you will remember all the love and good times you shared with Abbey. Until then you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Nicki
3rd January 2012, 08:43 PM
Linda I think you are doing the kindest thing, it's the last loving act we can do for our beloved companions.


I know this will probably make many of us cry, but it is so special that I wanted to share it

IF I SHOULD GROW FRAIL

If it should be that I grow frail and weak
And pain does keep me from my sleep,
Then will you do what must be done
For this - the last battle - can't be won.

You will be sad I understand
But don't let grief then stay your hand.
For on this day, more than the rest
Your love and friendship must stand the test.

We have had so many happy years,
You wouldn't want me to suffer so.
When the time comes, please, let me go.

Take me to where my needs they'll tend,
Only, stay with me till the end.
And hold me firm and speak to me
Until my eyes no longer see.

I know in time you will agree
It is a kindness you do to me.
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I have been saved.

Don't grieve that it must now be you
Who has to decide this thing to do.
We've been so close - we two- these years,
Don't let your heart hold any tears.

(author unknown)


You and Abbey will be in our thoughts - if possible please give your other Cavaliers a chance to say goodbye to Abbey once she has gone, it really helps them come to terms with what has happened and although they will still grieve, they will not be searching for her.

linderbelle
3rd January 2012, 09:26 PM
You mean take the other dogs with us? I don't truly think I can handle that. I just want it to be her and George and I. You know I am finally comforted that we are doing the right thing and I look at her now and now we have been in denial for some time. I truly think she is close to going on. I don't think we're talking a couple days here but I do truly believe we are close. It's funny the last day and a half she hasn't even really wanted to eat and the prednisone makes her crazy when it comes to food. I noticed yesterday her tummy seems swollen. Her snoring is so loud. Alot of changes in the past couple days. She's had a very good life and I think you all know how much we love her and I think we did everything humanly possible for her. It just hurts soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much. I know I will remember the "old" Abbey.. Today I went to take her picture and I put the camera down. I don't want to remember today's Abbey. I thank god for bringing her to us. I am so blessed to have had her in my life.

Linda

BrooklynMom
3rd January 2012, 09:46 PM
Oh Linda. A BIG hug to you and many angels and prayers for Abby as she flies to rainbow bridge :hug:

Nicki
3rd January 2012, 09:47 PM
I don't know how it works with your vet - ours comes out to the house, I put the other dogs away then put the dog who has passed away in a basket on the floor and let them back in to say their goodbyes. It's hard for us but it has made it SO much easier for them - don't forget they are losing their companion too. Then I take them myself to the crematorium.


If you are going to your vets, perhaps they would let you take the others in afterwards? Or could you bring Abbey home for a bit afterwards?


From what you've said in your last post, it really does sound like time - especially if she has stopped eating too. You are doing the right thing, sadly she would not pass peacefully from SM, we have to help them when it's time.

sins
3rd January 2012, 10:04 PM
I'm so sorry you have to face this now Linda.
You have already grieved so much for her,you and your husband have struggled enough and done all that you possibly can for her.
Don't be so hard on yourselves,when you have spent so long battling for her,sometimes it's hard to let go.
You have our support and respect for making all the tough choices throughout her illness,from diagnosis to surgery and all the dedicated aftercare.
The last few years have been a challenge for many of us,trying to learn about SM and manage our dogs condition as best we could.
Be kind to yourself.
Sins

Sydney
3rd January 2012, 10:32 PM
Linda,

Our thoughts are with you and Abby tonight. A little prayer of comfort and peace flies your way tonight from Virginia.

Ruby, Sydney and Duncan in Virgina

Love my Cavaliers
3rd January 2012, 11:44 PM
Sleep in peace sweet Abbey. Love and hugs and many, many tears from all of us

Margaret C
4th January 2012, 12:00 AM
I'm so sorry that it has ended up this way.
I'm thinking of you.

RIP Little Abbey

anniemac
4th January 2012, 12:00 AM
Oh Linda, I'm so sad and have tears reading this but know that you have done everything you could do. I will write more about how much abbey meant to me personally. Hugs and prayers to you and your family.

Abbey run free of pain at rainbows bridge.

Anne

linderbelle
4th January 2012, 12:01 AM
Abbey 1/24/2004 - 1/3/2012 RIP my dear princess. I love/loved you more than you will ever know and I know we did the right thing. I only pray you know we did. You are pain free from this very ugly disease. I am so dang lucky God chose you for us. I don't know how I will manage without our nightly butt rubbs and your sweetness. The pain is unbearable right now.

Sydneys Mom
4th January 2012, 12:47 AM
I am so sorry. I've been thinking of you and Abbey all day hoping for a miracle. Now I can't stop crying.

ashleighelizabeth
4th January 2012, 12:59 AM
Rest in peace dear Abbey. Sending lots of love and prayers to you and your family.

Jasperxxgabby
4th January 2012, 01:00 AM
I am so, so truly sorry to hear about Abbey, you have my most sincere condolences, it is just heartbreaking, you have done the kindest thing which shows just how much you love Abbey, keeping you and your family in my thoughts.

RIP precious Abbey *ng*l

linderbelle
4th January 2012, 01:04 AM
Anne that would mean the world to me. I know many people contact me through her blog and even today at the vets they all came in and said we were family. Abbey has helped spread the word on sm and taught our vet about it. He had never heard of it until 3 years ago. I don't know what Abbey meant to you but I'd love to hear it. I'm going to update Abbey's blog in the next month with more pictures and what she meant to me and talk about positive and not all the negative of sm. She had such a will to live and anybody that met her just loved her.

Thank you all for the support. This has been one of the hardest decisions I have ever made in my life.

Linda

Sabby
4th January 2012, 01:20 AM
I am crying right now reading this. Run free Abbey.

lovecavaliers
4th January 2012, 04:48 AM
Linda, I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet Abbey. I remember reading your blog on her symptoms and surgery when I was frantically searching the web for information on this horrific disease . I can't tell you what comfort it brought me to know I was not alone. She was a beautiful girl and I can't fathom the pain you are feeling at this moment. Please find some solace in knowing you did the kindest thing for her by letting her go at this time.
Your precious angel will always be with you in spirit. May she run pain free and strong, waiting for you at the rainbow bridge.
My deepest sympathies.

Kathleen
4th January 2012, 05:37 AM
A 'SPECIAL PLACE'
You have a special place Dear Lord
that I know you'll always keep
A special place reserved for dogs
when they quietly fall asleep
With large and airy kennels
and a yard for hiding bones
With maybe a little babbling creek
that chatters over stones.
With wide green fields and flowers
for those who never knew
about running freely under
Your sky of perfect blue.
Lord,I know You keep this Special Place
And so to you I Pray,
For one Special Cavalier
Who quietly died today
She was full of strength & love
and so very, very wise.
The puppy look she once had
Had long since left her eyes.
She is dearly missed my Lord
By a friend of mine.
She went to join her family
In Your land that is Devine
So, speak to Abbey softly please
And give her a warm hello.
She's a Special gift to you Dear Lord
From her mammy, who loved her so.

Run free sweet Abbey. xxx

JessieAndMe
4th January 2012, 09:00 AM
I am truly sorry for your loss, she was a beautiful girl who was blessed with a loving home.

linderbelle
4th January 2012, 11:32 AM
It hurts so much and I look around and she's not anywhere and of course the tears are already flowing. My eyes are so swollen. Don't know how I can go to work but I have to and if I sat home I'd cry all day. Will at times at work too I'm sure. I miss her so much.

Kate H
4th January 2012, 11:45 AM
I was too busy yesterday (and then too tired after a community party!) to come online, but I'm thinking of you both. I hope George has accepted that it was the best thing to do. Lots of :hug:

Kate, Oliver and Aled

Sandrac
4th January 2012, 12:51 PM
Linda,
You had the courage to let Abbey go to the bridge. I remember reading her blog avidly when my Minnie was first diagnosed and it was such a help to me.
Although we did not know Abbey personally your descriptions and blog entries brought her into all our lives. Thank you for sharing so much of her with us.
She will be fondly remembered by so many of this huge international family of people with SM affected dogs who do so so much to support each other through the good and bad times. Sending you lots of :hug:.

susandavis1
4th January 2012, 01:38 PM
I'm so sorry for your loss Linda. From reading your posts, it's obvious how difficult it was for you to make this hard decision. But your love and dedication for her shines through your posts also. Be gentle to youself while to go through this painful time. Run free sweet Abbey

Karlin
4th January 2012, 01:47 PM
This is heart-breaking -- you and Abbey have been a part of the board for a long time. :( It is always so hard. I know it isn't much comfort but know that many of us have walked this journey and understand what you have been through and know the pain and acute sense of loss. It does ease with time and often it takes retrospect to gradually grow to know this was an act of love and kindness, not abandonment. We can be very hard on ourselves when it is all very recent and raw and we are not yet ready to be less (wrongly) judgmental of ourselves in taking a decision that eases suffering but brings such deep loss.

linderbelle
4th January 2012, 02:18 PM
I know every single person on here loves their dog liked I love Abbey and understands and thats why I came here. Abbey thanks you Karlin for having CT as this site helped me figure out what was wrong with her. Unfortunately, she was 5 before we figured it out. I hope her story continues to help others and I pray to God I never go through this again. I have two other cavaliers and I know one of them has some sort of neuro issue and probably should mri him. There is never a good time to lose a dog but I feel robbed--she didn't even make it to her 8th birthday. She was young--very young. No time would have ever been enough but we were hoping for more. I love this breed and no nothing about breeding but god I hope breeders figure this out soon as this disease is awful.

Love my Cavaliers
4th January 2012, 02:56 PM
Linda, I know only time can bring you and George some peace and healing. Just try to remember that little Abbey that you brought home, that sweet little face and that spunky little spirit, not how she was robbed of it all by SM. You loved her and love her still. Cherish all your memories of her. They'll help you get through this.

Sydneys Mom
4th January 2012, 03:36 PM
I didn't know Abbey very well. I would love to read her blog and learn more about this special little angel. where can I find it.

Lani
4th January 2012, 03:42 PM
I am so sorry for your loss. RIP sweet Abbey.

Charlifarley
4th January 2012, 03:50 PM
Oh Linda I am so sorry to read this and my sympathies go to you and your family. It is heartbreaking the way things turned out for Abbey. SM is such a cruel horrible disease and it is awful that Abbey didn't get a chance to live the long life we hope for all our dogs.
Take care of yourself.
Shirley

linderbelle
4th January 2012, 04:08 PM
http://abbeygeorgelinda.blogspot.com/

Nicki
4th January 2012, 07:41 PM
Keeping you in our thoughts Linda, have been through this too many times and I know how devastating it is to have to make that decision, but as Karlin says, in time you will realise that it was the right thing to do and Abbey is finally at rest and no longer in pain.

I will copy this thread across to the In Memoriam section so that Abbey can be with our other angels.