Welcome to the forum–and I am so sorry to hear about your father. Be sure to look after yourself–people can forget this when they are working hard to care and think about others. :flwr:
On your cavalier: I think if you read through the articles that I have pinned here, you will find answers to just about everything you are dealing with:
http://www.cavaliertalk.com/forums/...-only-read-*one*-thing-about-dogs-*read-this*!
There are a couple of things going on–but really, I think the main problem is you have a certain level of expectations that aren't matched by the time and training that have gone into the dog in the past or to date, or the way in which he is being managed, or are really going to be met given that this is only a young puppy needing daily guidance just like small kids
. These are really common issues for dog owners, especially if they grew up with the dog that parents probably trained or if they had a low-key dog who didn't get up to much. Please understand that none of this is meant as a criticism of what you are doing but pointing out what is going on and some ways this could all be addressed because it can be a real challenge especially when it is all new to someone. :flwr:
Part of the problem is actually easily identified in your post– this is a dog with too much freedom and lack of supervision for her age and activity level, that has had little to no training (she is exactly the age where a group training class -- positive methods and no collar jerks or choke chains! -- is perfect and would be very productive for her and you as it helps her learn self control and to respond and bond to you - and is FUN!
). There are things lying around on the floor that you don't want the dog to eat–but how is a dog to know what it is allowed to and what it is not allowed to eat? For most dogs, especially to ensure that you don't end up with a dead dog that has eaten something poisonous or that causes a blockage that can cost you thousands at the vet–everything that you do not want eaten or accessed by a dog has to be out of reach, exactly as you would approach this issue with a human toddler who also cannot understand the logic of what they are allowed to get into and what they are not allowed to get into. A dog looks for items to play with and chew on because it
needs to play and it
needs to chew. It has no idea that the chew toy over here is allowed, but the crayon or laptop over there is not (just like a toddler has no idea that scissors are not toys, or that dropping your laptop like they would an uninteresting toy is a no-no!). Likewise, items that the dog can chew its way into and eat absolutely
must be safely put away in a locked cupboard or high enough that it cannot be accessed (a single square of dark cooking chocolate would kill a cavalier...so can just a handful of raisins or grapes). A dog also can get bloat and die from overeating, and most dogs given the option will overeat–especially something like cat food, which is especially tasty to dogs because it has a higher protein content and usually is sprayed with something smelly to appeal to cats more finicky appetites.Or to put it another way–what would your children do if there were cookie jars and chocolates easily accessible and you weren't around to monitor them?
I know an awful lot of adults who would not be able to have much self-control if interesting and attractive items like these were right there for the taking.
You also have to keep in mind that a dog is easily as demanding of time and energy and interaction as a child. A dog that doesn't get enough dedicated interaction–meaning walks, training, fetch, and other ways of directly interacting with its owners rather than just being left to wander around in the background or to interact with kids -- who don;t really tend to 'play with the dog' in a way that really engages many dogs and at any rate, should always be supervised --–is going to find ways of entertaining itself, which tends to be destroying things you don't want it to destroy because one) the dog is not being adequately supervised and 2) it just doesn't have enough to do and that happens to be the item that is most available for entertainment. :yikes
A bored dog is also a barking dog. Barking tends to be a problem with dogs that get left on their own, don't get enough real exercise and interaction or are put out into back gardens alone (they never should be left like this) where they bark to interact with their environment and because they are really, really bored and of course, want to be with their owner instead!
. But it is also the way dogs communicate. Some dogs bark more than others–and it is very hard to force the dog not to bark when this is what it does naturally. It is really an issue of management, of positive and consistent training, and of understanding that a dog is a dog.
One thing that is really alarming, to be honest, is that she was able to chew things underneath a car seat, which suggests she was able to wander around the interior of the car (while in motion?) , which is not only dangerous for her, but could be lethal for you. All you need is for a dog to slip underneath the gas pedal or the brake and the result could be a fatal accident. I have posted in the past about how even in a mild collision at 25 mph, a loose dog in the car could be hurtled forward with such force that it would break the neck of an adult–much less a human. Plus, an opening airbag will kill a dog the same as it will kill an infant human. A dog in a car needs to be safely inside a plastic crate which is secured with the seatbelt, or the dog needs to be in the back seat in a specifically designed car harness (unless there are air bags in the back, in which case the dog needs to be in a crate).
It is also really common for puppies to take a year to be reliably housetrained. If you got a dog from an animal shelter, the likelihood is the dog was surrendered because the previous owners never took any adequate time to train their dog and you will need to view house training is something that you start from the very basics -- as in assume the dog is not trained at all –have a look at the book I recommend below, and there are also lots and lots of good advice sheets pinned at the top of the training section of the website here. Every single one offers excellent advice on house training, but house training takes a huge amount of time -- don't underestimate it!
I too would strongly recommend downloading this (free!) book (After You Get Your Puppy, by well known trainer Dr Ian Dunbar) because it will really help guide you through training and management issues and answer many questions -- others gave you the link but again its:
www.dogstardaily.com/free-downloads
I think reading the book will help you get a much better sense of what will be involved in owning and training a dog as well as kindly and gradually crate training (just expecting a dog to remain in a crate when it has never been trained to one can be ecxtremely distressing, as you witnessed) –it is really easy to underestimate this. Dogs are extremely rewarding and wonderful as an addition to the family, but they can be overwhelming when people don't have an understanding of what will be required from them to make the dog part of their family–and it is really really easy to underestimate this. I ran Cavalier breed rescue in Ireland for half a decade, and many of the dogs I took in to rescue came from families who just had not realized the time they needed to put in to owning a dog. I wish shelters did a better job of talking people through what will be involved, especially with shelter dogs who almost all have issues of one type or another (you are never getting a well trained calm happy dog!) because it would help prevent a lot of frustration, and to be honest, help people understand whether a dog is really what they want in their family or not. I think especially for any family with young children, which are very time-consuming, understandably, a dog is often not a good decision for the adults because the dog is always going to be entirely the responsibility of the grown-ups for that dog's life, and a lot of parents have enough to deal with without having a dog as well–just something to think about if you are really feeling overwhelmed and feeling this is difficult to manage. There is no point in being unhappy -- either you or the cavalier -- if this isn;t the right match for you right now and breed rescue (I have contacts posted in the rescue section) would immediately step in and help if you ever decided this is not what you really want. But the books and handouts above will really give you a lot of help if you know you have 100% commitment to owning this young friendly cavalier.
It doesn't sound like you've had very productive advice or feedback so far and no doubt this is really contributing to the frustration! Because I cannot emphasise enough that nothing you describe indicates a problem dog or an unusually diffcult dog -- just that you have a dog with normal everyday behaviours and energy levels and that dog now needs positive, kind training and management.
The very best of luck and let us know how things go–plenty of people here will be happy to help with advice and suggestions.
