View Full Version : Bye bye little Mr.Harry
9th March 2012, 10:27 AM
As much as Harry struggled with his MVD and had a few bad days over the course of about 3 years, his continuous ability to fight back and become like a new dog every time left me somehow thinking he was invincible. Now my fingers are trembling as I click "post new thread" "in memorium".
I lost Harry suddenly yesterday evening in my bedroom. He had had a funny tummy since Tuesday but otherwise seemed happy, nothing like how he had seemed when he had been poorly before and I feared for his life a good number of times before, but not this time. I gave him a little bath on Tuesday night and he seemed fine, I was concerned as he chose to lay down in the bath instead of sit but didn't think too deeply into it. Usually I could tell by his eyes when he felt ill, he still had that sparkle though.
Yesterday morning, he was a little sick. I blamed myself, I gave his tablets in some cheese, maybe it didn't agree with him. I got called into work and dad looked after him. I walked in about 6pm and he was lying in the doorway, he saw me and was wagging his tail. I let him into the garden. I noticed he had been out there some time so I went to look for him. He was sat on the path and had probably just been sat staring for a good 10 minutes. I went back in the house and grabbed a towel to keep him warm and I wrapped it around him and sat next to him. Then his front legs slowly slipped out infront of him and he lay down. I was seriously worried. So I carried him upstairs to my bedroom, lay him on his blanket and put some twinkly lights on for him. I don't know why, I felt I knew, I wanted him to relax.
I jumped in my car and sped to the shop to get him some fresh chicken. Again, I don't know why other than I just wanted him to have his favourite dinner that night. I chopped it up and came upstairs to my bedroom where he was lying. He ate the chicken and I stopped worrying, when he's poorly he won't eat and he did. I was so pleased. I put the plate down and he sat up. Then he fell. I should have caught him but I was in shock, I didn't have time although it seemed time had stood still. His back legs went up at an angle really stiff. I held them. I put my hand on his heart and with a quiet whimper he had gone. I couldn't feel his heart anymore. I cried for my dad. My family came round and I cried all night. I woke up and for a split second I thought I had dreamt it.
I got Harry when I was about 10 after I begged my mum and dad for years. Finally we went to get them. Out of all the puppies bounding around, little Harry came and curled up in my lap, he chose me. I took him home on the happiest day of my life. He has made each day the happiest until now, I am 21. For the first time since I can ever remember, I have to face the world without him. He was my soulmate, my best friend, my brother, my baby and sometimes even like a father. I lost my job in September to go back to college part time. We have been together nearly everyday 24/7.
Everytime I hear a bump I think he's coming up the stairs into my room, everytime I hear the door open I think it's dad letting him into the garden. I want to hold my hand out and feel his ears there, I want to feel the nudge of his little head if I stopped stroking him.
Thankyou so much for your support and sorry this was long. I cant believe it. I feel like I can't go on, life is so empty without him. I feel like I will never smile again.
Rest in peace my beautiful little companion. I love you more than anything in the world. One day I will see you again.
9th March 2012, 10:38 AM
RIP little one ,I am at work but reading this brought tears to my eyes ,we are so sorry for you ,Mr Harry must have
been a wonderful boy and companion .
9th March 2012, 10:56 AM
I am so sorry that you lost Harry :hug:. I have read your posts over the past few years when Harry became poorly and how he rallied each time. Having had Harry since you were so young must make the pain more difficult to bear and the love you had for him comes so strongly through your post. I hope that in time, your pain will be eased by the lovely memories you have of your time together. Run free sweet Harry.
9th March 2012, 12:03 PM
I am in tears for you, I am so sorry. He was so lucky to have you, twinkling pretty lights, his favorite meal and all of your love that night. He is so lucky and went in peace. Prayers for you. hugs.
9th March 2012, 04:50 PM
I want to say how sorry I am that you have lost Harry.
You are feeling so lost at the moment and that's understandable if you lose your close friend from your childhood.
I am sending you my very best wishes and a hug.
Run free dear Harry !
9th March 2012, 05:14 PM
So sorry for you:hug:
9th March 2012, 05:33 PM
I am so sorry you have lost Harry. He sounds like he was a wonderful companion for you. How lucky he was to have you taking such good care of him all these years.
9th March 2012, 05:57 PM
Oh dear......I am so sorry about your wonderful sweet Harry. It sounds like he wanted to give you something back that day. So h rallied and struggled and ate because it was a gift for you. And he went on his terms, in a peaceful, loved filled place with a full belly, beautiful lights and a sweet girl holding him. You gave him a beautiful moment.
I know that it will be hard. He's been a part of your life from a time when you were just a tender age yourself......he was your companion. Take whatever time you need to grieve. He deserves that.
Hugs to your whole family.
9th March 2012, 06:46 PM
So sorry you lost Harry, thinking of you..
9th March 2012, 07:23 PM
So sorry you have lost Mr Harry Hannah. R.I.P. little man, knowing how much you were loved.
9th March 2012, 08:24 PM
I am so sorry for your loss. :(
9th March 2012, 09:57 PM
So sorry to read about Harry. That is a beautiful tribute to him xx
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10th March 2012, 08:26 AM
im so so sorry for your loss of harry tears are in my eyes for you
its heartbreaking when they leave us but life dose get better and you are left with wonderful memorise
sending cuddles to you from louie and his mum
10th March 2012, 11:30 AM
Thank you all so much for your kind words, they have helped me so much.
I have pretty much been in bed all the time since it has happened. Odd visits from family members and my partner Russ has had as much time off work as he can to be with me. Harry loved Russ so much, I'll never forget the look on his face everytime he saw him. Harry just wanted to be around him all the time when he came over. Russ is also grieving and going to work with a heavy heart remembering the times we used to take him out in the car for long walks and new smells.
It is so silly how I cannot move from my bedroom, the place he loved the most and where he left me. I can see his fur still on my carpet. I remember reading a post about a lovely lady who had lost her little one and could not bear to Hoover her floor. I know exactly how she feels. I feel like I can't go downstairs as all his favourite napping spots will be empty. The house feels like a shell, not a home. I feel I can't go out because I'm scared of returning, opening the door and not seeing a wagging tail and sparkling eyes.
I have read about rainbow bridge but just keep thinking too deeply into it. He didn't get on with the other dogs, he had separation anxiety. I am just at a loss.
We buried him yesterday under the blossom tree in our garden outside my bedroom window. He was in his furry bed covered in his blanket. I keep picturing him there. I am scared of the rain, I don't want him to get wet.
I think I am still in shock. He was my best friend. I have cried and cried and I am exhausted. All the problems I had are irrelevant and all the petty things I used to worry about seem so ridiculous. I even have to cover my ears when the neighbours dog barks... they are so lucky.
I have applied to volunteer at a local rescue center. I hope this is a good idea although I don't feel I am ready just yet.
Im sorry for rambling but I have so many thoughts in my head I just need to get them out.
I miss my soulmate and I will miss him forever.
10th March 2012, 08:01 PM
I'm so sorry.
12th March 2012, 06:44 AM
Wow. Your post really touched my heart. Your descriptions are beautiful. Im crying.. Sorry for your Mr Harry. It seems as if he went in peace.. As for the rainbow bridge; imagine a grandmother or grandfather that passed or an aunt or friend or family waiting for them at the bridge. Ask that person to take care of Harry and picture harry sitting on their lap looking down..
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12th March 2012, 03:00 PM
I am so sorry for your loss. I also have tears in my eyes as I am reading this. Rest in peace little Harry.
13th March 2012, 07:21 PM
Iam so so sorry for your loss of Harry , it sounds like you guys had such a special bond and for you to be with him at the end will have been a great comfort to you both..... He can now run free from MVD at Rainbow Bridge . I lost my first cavalier Scooby to MVD last year so I know exactly how you feel.
14th March 2012, 12:23 PM
So very sorry you lost Harry
14th March 2012, 12:35 PM
I'm so sorry for your loss! He sounds like he was such a wonderful little man! He had a fantastic life and knew how much he was loved.
Scamper free little Harry!
14th March 2012, 04:07 PM
I originally read this yesterday and couldn't even respond I was so touched by your story; the bit about the rain just broke my heart because it is exactly what I would worry about. I've been thinking about you all night and hope you are ok! I know Harry is still with you whenever you need him!
14th March 2012, 11:18 PM
I am so sorry for your loss, he sounds so lucky to have had you and you him.
19th March 2012, 10:17 PM
Thank you everyone again, your words have helped me get through each day.
It's been a week and 4 days since I lost Harry. Writing it down I cannot believe it has only been a week and 4 days.. It feels like just yesterday I had him in my arms yet it feels like forever since I last saw him. He is now a beautiful memory...
Now sat at my desk in an empty room, he used to lie to my left side while I did college work etc.. the little heartbeat at my feet. Now he lays on my right side, in the garden, I can see him through my window. Knowing he is physically so close but I cannot see him or hold him just makes my heart ache.
I finally managed to find the words to say to write on his memorial plaque and have sent for it. I will post a picture when it arrives.
Thank you everyone once again.. that is all I can say for now :(
20th March 2012, 09:14 PM
I am so sorry you have lost Mr. Harry. Harry has been a very lucky little dog to have someone like you love him so much. :hug:
20th March 2012, 09:35 PM
This is such a beautiful and touching tribute to a very special and very much loved dog - he obviously adored you as you adored him, and having grown up together made that bond all the more special.
My heart goes out to you, sadly we have lost 8 Cavaliers now and they break your heart when they leave you - in time this dreadful pain does ease up and you start to remember the happy times you shared. I think you always carry a sadness though, but also all the love you shared - that never leaves you.
Perhaps you could put a photo of Harry in your bedroom so it doesn't feel quite so empty - maybe rearrange the furniture slightly so his resting spots are less obvious? I can't imagine how empty the house must be feeling, and you do not have the routine with feeding and walking [and medication] so feel that you have forgotten something all the time.
I think it is a really lovely idea to volunteer at the rescue centre, I know you prob won't feel ready quite yet, but it will really help to to have other dogs to cuddle and walk, and the rescue centres are always so grateful for help [and anything you can bear to part with like toys, beds etc - hard but isn't it wonderful that a special dog who doesn't know the love of a home could enjoy them?]
Keep in touch with us, and we hope you feel a bit better - give yourself time to grieve, he was truly a member of the family - and a very lucky boy to have such a loving home.
21st March 2012, 12:46 AM
There is nothing worse in life than losing your best friend. The love of a Cavalier is so unlike anything else we can experience, hence why the loss is of such a magnitude. I lost Ben and Misty a few years ago and swore that I wouldn't go through that pain again.
Now I have Jasper, a 2 1/2 year old Ruby, who has been desperately ill recently with Immune mediated polyarthritis and is still a long way from being fully recovered. I have found that age tempers attitudes and forces us to find love that is without any conditions being applied to it or with expectations and for me, a Cavalier is the best way ever to achieve this joy in life.
I never expected that my boy would be so ill so young especially as he was screened for MVD, but now that we're dealing with IMP, we will make the best of our lives together and whilst I know that one day he will be gone, like you, I will make sure that every day I spend with him will be fun for him and that there are no regrets.
Harry, clearly had your love for many years and clearly gave back on an equal basis
Over time, the pain will ease, I promise, and as the pain eases, the memories will become good ones as you reflect on all the fun and joy that Harry brought to you.
Now is your time to grieve and to feel the loss, and rightly so. One day soon though, you will smile when you see an old photograph or walk past somewhere that you used to share with him and I'm sure that he wouldn't want you to remember him any other way than with a smile......
Pat & Jasper
21st March 2012, 05:11 AM
So sorry you lost your boy. He sounds like he was really special dog. It sounds like he was very happy and content on his last day.
30th March 2012, 11:04 PM
I'm so sorry, Hannah. It is really lovely you got to spend his last moments on this earth together, in peace and love in your home.:hug:
2nd April 2012, 01:35 PM
I understand how you feel. (My 13 year old "shadow" died a little over a week ago.) It sounds like Harry knew. He felt loved to the very end. His best friend was with him. You got everything right, everything! I understand how you miss the familiar sounds associated with him and yes, the feel of him. In Ireland, there is a term "anam cara" or soul-friend. It is the only term I know that can describe in any way the beauty & purity of the relationship between a person and their special dog. The grief has to be enormous, after so many years of loving.
A day will come when you will find yourself smiling at some memory of him. It will take a while, but that day will come. And then you will know that little Harry's anam has finally come to rest in your heart.
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