View Full Version : HELP!!!!!!! The mean Mommy????

30th April 2013, 06:25 PM
I think I am NOT the only owner who will say that their cavalier only tolerates grooming. I have brushed Fletcher every single day since I have owned him (a whole year) and he's well behaved however its NOT his favorite part of the day. Lately now that the weather is getting warmer AND the fact that Fletcher is now fully grown we have been having more problems with tangles and mats. I switched to Isle of Dogs products which has helped a lot....the leave in conditioner spray is wonderful!!!!!!! However, they're is at least one really messy spot on him daily. He's started to hide from me at grooming time.... I take out the brushes and he runs to his crate or under our bed etc. I call him and he slowly comes (normally) his recall is wonderful especially inside the house. Last night when it was time to brush he came to me after I called him 6 times but when I went to pick him up he ran away from me!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't want him all matted up, but I don't want him to associate me as the "mean Mommy". He is fine the rest of the day normal playful cuddly Fletcher but take those brushes out he hates me.

I'm wondering if I should possibly seek a professional groomer? I do know one I would trust with Fletcher but I'm still not wanting to CUT his hair just do a good brush out regularly. Maybe if a good pro groomer brushed him out once every two or four weeks, would that be enough to keep the mats at bay? Am I just being too picky thinking my cavalier can be mat free at all times? Is Fletcher training me to NEVER be the bad guy? Should I just stay the course and just ignore his whip-ish behavior.

Any advice would be great since I have never owned a long haired dog before.

30th April 2013, 07:36 PM
No, 1-2 times a month is not going to be enough if he is prone to getting mats (and if he's running and picking up burrs in his fur he will get horribly matted).

The groomer can trim him to make his fur more manageable though. And get his feet trimmed, those slippers are cute but extremely impractical. :)

I might give him a little bit of a break from grooming- just brush his back (this is usually the part they like having brushed) gently, then make a point of handling ears, feet, etc but don't actually brush.

Then slowly reintroduce brushing all over.

And don't forget to tell him how beautiful he is when he's all brushed out, they love that.

What kind of brushes are you using? And could brushing be done more gently? I know my mother was always brutal with a hairbrush, so I'd scream when she'd try to brush my hair.

Love my Cavaliers
30th April 2013, 07:42 PM
Treats, treats, and more treats. I hope you're giving treats afterwards. As soon as I bring the brush out, mine line up as they know that they'll be getting a treat at the end of it. It doesn't mean that they love it. Oz certainly squeals and lets me know that he is in agony the entire time no matter how gently I brush. He is my talker. But they do want their turn because they know that no turn means no treat.

Sydneys Mom
30th April 2013, 07:59 PM
You're not the only one! Sydney had a really thick coat and he hated brushing, but tolerated it. I brought him to the groomer every 4 to 6 weeks. She was wonderful. He got a sanitary trim, paws and feathers trimmed and a trim on his bum. He also got the inside of his ears lightly trimmed near the opening ( this helped to keep them dry as he had .lots of ear nfections ) plus the hair behind his ears where the mats were the hardest to brush out. I brushed him in-between grooming 3-4 times a week. He did try to hide from me, but I always won! I swore that I brushed out an entire puppy with all the hair that came out.

30th April 2013, 10:43 PM
I don't think a cavalier exists that was ever matt-free. :) It's a regular job -- a few times a week -- to work on them. Some types of coat matt worse than others. Behind the ears tends to be the worst. If you have a dog that likes getting into leaves, running through fields, etc then I always say, brush them the minute you get home or the smallest bit of debris will form a matt. Jaspar is like this. I actually pick all the obvious bits off them before they go back in the car after a day at the beach/park etc.

Super Princess
1st May 2013, 05:02 AM
oh funny i just started a 'mean mama' thread myself ;) and one about brushign maggie.. i should really get it on video what she dose its pretty entertaining.

your not a mean mommy..you do it for his own good..too many times did i have to cut matts outa olivers fur..not a fun task..but id do it all over agian ;)

1st May 2013, 11:53 AM
My two are groomed daily, usually a morning job, and they also get checked over for the inevitable bits of grass/twigs/seed pods etc., on return from walks. Dillon (tri), nearly two years old, has a full coat and it is quite cottony and would matt very quickly with even the slightest foreign object lurking :) he now very good on the grooming table and will anticipate my routine of what bits get brushed and combed first; but it has taken many months to train him to do this and for him to be happy up there, though well worth it. Early on some days he would tolerate only a couple of minutes, so that's just what we did...and gradually increased the time so now he's happy just sitting there and even nodding off when having his back brushed...he gets just his feet unders trimmed, so there will be no cutting his coat as he will need it to help him through the heat of our summers. Lucy Goose (ruby) is just nine months old and has been with us for three months now. Her coat is totally different, very smooth and silky though she still does have some puppy coat in there. Lucy is very happy on the grooming table and it took just a few weeks...we touch on everything at each session, inspecting paws, ears, tails and bottom bits so she is pretty comfortable with most procedures now and anyhow is generally more confident than Dillon was at a similar age. I give treats now only after their session is over. In the early days I often had to remove a matt quickly by cutting it out rather than fiddle with it and risk distress to the dog. I use various grooming tools; a rotating pin comb, pin brush, fine comb, and leave in conditioner. I would agree that behind the ears is worst for matts... Just my experience...:cool: hope it may help

1st May 2013, 01:22 PM
For Bosco, I groom him in the evening while watching TV. I can usually do a decent job before he gets annoyed with me. I do his belly when I spot him sleeping on the floor (Man that dog can sleep). I find grooming him at these odd times gets the job done with little fuss.

I do have a Japanese Chin, who will run if she sees a brush. If its bath time, she hides in the back of the crate, and then will ignore me for a week afterwards! It was that bad. I give her treats, treats, and treats, -- usually roasted chicken, which is her all-time favorite. It certainly has lessened her anxiety over the years. She certainly is not a fan of being brushed or the bath, but its gotten much better. When I leave her with my groomer/dog sitter for a week (when I go on vacation), she looks beautiful upon being returned. The groomers young daughter (maybe she is 7?) brushes her everyday without incident. Go figure!

1st May 2013, 05:45 PM
ah, poor boy! I just have to brag a bit about my two youngest cavaliers (3 and 1 year old). I really think it is in the genetics, but I only groom once a month and (almost) never have tangles. They don't have those glorious show coats that are common, I like to think them as moderate in coat. :)
I do have to be more aggressive with my old dog as he has a different texture to his coat. He does tangle and get mats under his arms and in his ears. I decided to keep him trimmed as it wasn't worth it to have him upset every time I wanted to brush him.

1st May 2013, 06:09 PM
I'm admittedly pretty terrible with brushing the girls regularly (at least I started brushing their teeth daily!!:D). I only brush them about once a week and I just have scissors with me while I do that and cut out all of the matts I find. I always have to cut out a few, especially on Gracie because her coat is so thick. I have Gracie groomed every few months too, just a little trim and good thinning. I find this works pretty well for us - they (and I) dont suffer from daily brushes and I just cut out any matts - I've never been able to tell after cutting them out.

Well, except once when I left the girls with my parents for a week while I was on vacation, they didnt know they were supposed to take off their collars when they're in the house so Gracie got a huge matt all across her neck under the collar that I had to cut out- that kind of left an empty spot. :rolleyes:

2nd May 2013, 04:31 AM
Thanks all!!!!!!! I knew I was not alone :cool: Maybe I'm being unrealistic thinking Fletcher should be silky and tangle free at all times. That's pretty much like saying all 3 year old little girls should always have perfect little curls at all times. After all he's a dog. I think I am going to run him by my favorite groomer and talk about "thinning" the spots that mat so easily- behind the ears and feathers (really its more like armpits). I need to take him anyway for a nail trim (I have to have them filed after because freshly cut nails are too sharp for playing with Mr. Monster) I'm also going to continue the evening brushing too, its a good habit and he's just going to have to learn to deal with it. I do give him plenty of treats and I sweet talk him the whole time. I use a double sided pin/soft brush and a comb with the leave in conditioner on any mats if I need to.

3rd May 2013, 07:51 PM
We ended up getting Butters down to a few times per week with the brush. We would pick out all of the little leaves and twigs several times a day, but he was not a big fan of brushing and we had to pick our battles. Like Soushiruiuma said, starting on the back can help. We would always do the brushing on the couch, where he would start to snooze after a bit of the back brushing. I would then get the ears and tail after he fell asleep like a sneaky mommy :). He really hated the spray conditioner, so I would spray it into my hands and rub it on his coat instead of directly squirting it on him. The worst, however, were those nails! I would have to painstakingly do 2 or so nails at a time. Oh, the things cavaliers go through to stay beautiful lol