I am very Scared
by, 27th July 2010 at 10:51 PM (709 Views)
Ella is off to the neurologist tomorrow and with the way she has been acting, I have a bad feeling in my stomach. I always want to see the good and I guess I always see the bad. I can't breath and it is like all of the feelings come rushing back over me. If he wants to do another MRI I have no idea what I am going to say. I know for a fact how fast she progresses. I see a new thing each day. Right now she is hiding from me. The cavalier the would never leave my side is under the bed and when she comes out she goes under the table or on the floor. She doesn't want to be touched anymore. Maybe he will just say to up her dosage but one thing I know is this is so hard for me. If people describe CM as being so much pain, then SM must be worse. I wish I could take it from her. I wish I could be the one but I feel so helpless right now. I would much rather have the pain than have the pain I feel in my heart.