Who Will Lick my Tears?

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It has been almost one year since Ella was diagnosed with SM. Part of me is so thankful she made it to Christmas and then the other part is scared if this is the last Christmas we will have together. No one wants to read sad stories and part of loving a dog comes, with the inevitable part of saying goodbye. Ella is only 4 years old and I never expected to be hoping for one more year. I know I can not dwell on the ďwhat ifĒ and celebrate each day I have with her but I have to think of when she is gone, who will lick my tears away?

I got Ella at a time when I needed someone to show me love. She lifted me up and gave me hope. I have been looking through pictures and every single picture I have with her, I have the biggest smile on my face. She does that to me. I knew when I got Ella, she would not live forever, but I thought by then I would have a family and it would be easier. It is just us and even though I am sure it is difficult no matter what, I donít have a husband or children to come home to. My house would be empty. I read someone talking about having to take her Cavalier to be PTS and licked her tears to comfort her even though it was her last day. I began to cry. That is how they are so giving and even in pain, they want to make you feel better.

It is not just a dog that will feel pain. Think about the owners tears when they lose a dog. I have been blessed to meet some caring people on the Internet who I know will hold me up when that time comes. We all support each other and I am so thankful for that because I donít feel so alone.

So for now, I am blessed to have someone to come home to. I make every day I have with Ella count. I will hold her head up when she needs to. I will give anything for her, because if it wasnít for her, I donít know if I could have ever experienced the love I have felt

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  1. anniemac's Avatar
    Thank you all so much for your comments. Writing helps me with the pain and also knowing that there are people out there that can support me. I really appreciate you all reading this.
  2. anniemac's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Margaret C
    My heart aches that this is happening to you and Ella.

    You will get through it, we all do. They all die before we are ready to let them go, although it is easier to accept when they are old.

    Grief is the price you pay for love. Despite the unhappiness of losing them, I have never felt it was too high a price to pay for having them in my life.
    Thank you Margaret and thanks for sending the pictures.