Much as I love my rescue Aled, Oliver has been my special dog - mostly because we have done so much together - I showed him when he was younger, we have done competition obedience, he was a Pets as Therapy dog, we've had wonderful holidays in Northumberland and Norfolk, he goes on buses, trains, ferries, the London underground and takes it all in his stride, nothing fazes him, and he has a huge fan club. Now he's a wicked old man! Many of us know how you are feeling, and what you won't get on this forum is 'But it's only a dog.' Each of our dogs leave a hole in our lives, some bigger holes than others.
Kate, Oliver and Aled
For the record, the "heart-daughter" I referred to was my first-born daughter, one of my twins, born in 1963. I probably didn't make it clear that Bentley came to us, actually from this same daughter, in January before our daughter died in Dec. He has been a gift from God, as she was.
I am so sorry for your loss. I think I know how you feel.
We lost our dear ten and a half year old tri-colour several days before Christmas. She had just been diagnosed, (after a couple of vomiting episodes), with cancer. It had already spread to her liver and spleen. I felt so bad about it as she had always gone for her regular six monthly check-ups and we had been so particular with her when she had any other medical problems.
She was such a character and was always aware of all that was happening in our household. In a way, I felt I had let her down.
I also felt bad for our other little Blenheim as I could see at times he was watching for her to come in.
We took in another little Cavalier from Rescue and she has been great company for us all but it is only now I am beginning to lose the guilt and enjoy the memories of all the good times although I still feel upset when we go places she enjoyed without her.
Bentley is my first Cavalier and Velvet my second (first two dogs ever actually) I have not lost one. I have lost special cats before and really grieved. My mom and I were talking about special pets that have died, and discussed when it is time to let go ect.. I mentioned Bentley and said how I can't even think about it with him, I can't stand the idea, I almost started crying so we had to change the subject.. I am pretty sure my Bentley being my first cavie will end up one day being the source of a ton of grieving for me. But I make myself look at it this way, I have 8-12 years or so to make wonderful awesome memories and enjoy every second with these two wonderful cavies, I plan to look back on them and smile, even if I am sad they are gone. I can only imagine how awful you are feeling. I started crying for you when I read the thread :( My only advice is to focus on the times you had with your cavie that made you smile and laugh and remember how wonderful the time you had with him was.