19th October 2006, 07:05 PM
Thank you so much for referring me to that wonderful site dedicated to the loss of our furry friends. I have already made a new friend who just lost her kitty the other day too. I posted a tribute to Heaven there for Monday night. I shared my story as well. And you are right, the animated bridge poem brought me to tears as I remebered my sweet Heaven. Thank you so much.
Willow is much better today and I love her that much more. She will help me through this. You all have helped me so much already. Thank you.
Originally Posted by Nicki
20th October 2006, 07:41 PM
This is Heaven after getting a bath.
Heaven giving head butts to my friend Michelle.
Heaven getting attention from my guests, as usual.
Thank you all for your kindness. It's so hard. I feel like I am ok, then I see her sweet little face in my mind and remember that she will not be home when I get there, I tear up and feel the pain. I forget that I should be happy for her that she is not in pain and is happy where she is. For her it's only a matter of moments before I rejoin her. I need to let her go so her soul can journey home. I don't want to be selfish and prevent her from getting there... but I haven't brought myself to go home yet and talk to her again. I tried again last night to sleep with my other fubaby, Willow. She's a squirmy little pup and snuggled in close but did not let me sleep. I haven't had a good night's sleep since the night Heaven passed. I wonder if I need to just go home, be alone in the house and feel her spirit. Aknowledge her presence, say what I need to say, look at her pictures, have a visit, the let her go. I haven't been home because for now I feel it easier to cope keeping myself busy and staying away from the reality that she's not there anymore. On a good day I don't cope well with silence, so this makes it harder to be there with Shaun away. I shall try once more to sleep with Willow tonight and get her used to the idea. It was comforting to have her snuggled up close, to feel needed, loved. She's a good girl, and I am so thankful I have her.
22nd October 2006, 04:28 PM
Have been thinking about you. When is Shaun home?
It does sound like you know what is needed and would be best for you, but it's hard to take that step alone.
If Shaun isn't due back for a while, would your Mom come with you and maybe stop over for the night?
Willow is still very little to have on the bed...I always worry how easily they can fall off at that age. If she's used to a small crate or cage, maybe you could put her in that next to the bed, so she's with you but safe?
You might also be more relaxed then and could maybe get some sleep, you need to look after yourself.
Do you still have Heaven's blanket? Maybe put that on the bed with you?
We're all here for you, VB ((((Hugs))))
22nd October 2006, 05:01 PM
Hello everyone. Nicki thank you for asking about Shaun. He returns in 2 days. Tomorrow marks the one week that Heaven left. I would not have been able to cope as well as I did without you guys, and without the other wonderful pet lovers at petloss.com. Here is the link to the support forum I have also been a part of. http://www.websitetoolbox.com/tool/p...ost?id=1457559 I have been told several times it is not my fault she died. That from the sounds of it she died of a blood clot which is common among cats, I didn't know that. I am still staying at my moms, am really looking forward to Shaun coming home so I can sleep in my own bed. Mom has been wonderful but the couch is not very comfy! Maybe you're right, that I shouldn't sleep with Willow. I do enjoy the cuddles, but when i go home the bed is much taller that the couch I am on and I would hate to see her fall and hurt herself.
I want to share a little memory that always made me smile each day, and still does to think about it.
Heaven had this little stuffed chick that I bought her when she was a kitten. She would carry it around and make these funny little squeaky sounds. Without fail, each morning the little chick would be outside my bedroom door and each day when I got home form work the little chick would be waiting for me at the front door. It was like her little present for me each day. When I got Willow, she tried to claim the chick as her own, Heaven happily shared it but would reclaim it when Willow wasn't looking. I buried the little chick with heaven along with her favorite blankie. I have kept her gold name tag and wear it on my necklace to feel close.
23rd October 2006, 10:00 AM
I've just been catching up with this thread again......
Lisa I lost a little cav a few months ago, my Honey. Even today it's still very hard. I have loved other little dogs that have left us as well but this little one was a very special one. This little girl felt like a part of me. Never had I felt like this before. I have three other dogs at home now but the space that she has left still makes me so very sad, how I miss her to this day.
You really do need to just give yourself the time and to be able to cry when you want, talk about your kitty when you want and to have your quiet moments alone as well.
Some days I manage all day without a cry and on others I can fall apart so easily, it doesn't take much believe me. It's still raw.
I found that by putting a memory book together really helped....it's not something I have done before...but I find it a comfort this time.
I only parted with Honeys blanket last week...it went through the washer and her smell has now gone, that was painful but I needed to start being more positive about it all. It's time to remember the good, wonderful days that we shared together.
My main comfort and I hope this will be part of yours also is that for the short time I owned her (Honey was a fuppy farm rescue) I truly adored and loved her, she never wanted for anything and she had a very happy year with me, like your kitty she was very, very, much loved, well cared for and had a mom that loved, cherished and spoilt her....what little animal could ask for more than that?... many could only dream of ever having a home like that. Ours really had that home.
Lisa you cry if you need to, yell if it helps...it is painful without them, we have lost something that we loved very much....but they have left their little gift to us...we have our memories and we have to treasure those forever.
It will get easier with time, you just need to be gentle on yourself and know that what you are feeling now is perfectly natural OK.
Here if you need a shoulder, I'm understanding everything you are going through, I'm there myself.
25th October 2006, 03:05 PM
Your little Heaven was a beautiful puddy it does hurt but as Alison has said you need to just take time to grieve.
It's funy, Hunnybuns wasn't my baby but when Alison lost her I wept buckets and still do when I see her pic.
As Alison said at least they knew love - many aren't as fortunate