Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 11

Thread: Pet Rules

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Darwen, Lancashire, England
    Posts
    2,828
    Post Thanks / Like
    Blog Entries
    4

    Default Pet Rules

    Pet Rules
    PET RULES
    To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.

    Dear Dogs and Cats,

    The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

    The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

    I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

    For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years -- canine or feline attendance is not required.

    The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!

    To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:

    To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:

    1. They live here. You don't.
    2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
    3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
    4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

    Remember: In many ways, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
    1. Eat less
    2. Don't ask for money all the time
    3 Are easier to train
    4. Normally come when called
    5. Never ask to drive the car
    6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
    7. Don't smoke or drink
    8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
    9. Don't want to wear your clothes
    10. Don't need a "gazillion" dollars for college.


    And finally,


    11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.



    Courtesy of www.amazinjokes.com
    Kirsty
    Merlin and Oakleys Mum (Merlin -Male/B&T/5 years, Oakley - Male/Ruby/3.5years)

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Posts
    4,153
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    LMAO I love it

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Derbyshire
    Posts
    1,177
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    puppy rules
    what is yours is now mine
    anythink on the floor is mine
    ---Aileen
    cavaliers at the bridge Mattie and Rocky & Sam & Jake
    Better to light a candle for one lost dog than to curse the darkness of man's indifference. Saving just one dog won't change the world but it surely will change the world for that one dog.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Navan, Ireland
    Posts
    846
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    I LOVE that!!! Especially number 11
    Excellent, I must print it.
    Cecily, owned by Dougal (B&T boy, age 2) and Dora (Blenheim female, age 2, rescue)

    Cavaliers at the bridge, much missed and not forgotten: Aggie (tricolour female) and Rio (Blenheim female) and Tandie (ruby female)

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Birmingham, AL
    Posts
    507
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: Pet Rules

    Quote Originally Posted by merlinsmum
    Pet Rules
    PET RULES
    Also, I have been using the bathroom for years -- canine or feline attendance is not required.
    Someone please!! explain this to my two!!!
    Ashley - Mom to Duncan (4 years/blenheim) and Arthur (3 years/ruby)

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Posts
    4,153
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: Pet Rules

    Quote Originally Posted by duncans_ma
    Quote Originally Posted by merlinsmum
    Pet Rules
    PET RULES
    Also, I have been using the bathroom for years -- canine or feline attendance is not required.
    Someone please!! explain this to my two!!!
    Yep, mine as well. When Whitney was staying I had to take 3 of them into my tiny downstairs loo with me

    Comes to something when we can't even have a wee in peace

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Birmingham, AL
    Posts
    507
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: Pet Rules

    Quote Originally Posted by "Maxxs_Mummy
    Comes to something when we can't even have a wee in peace
    I wouldn't have it any other way!
    Ashley - Mom to Duncan (4 years/blenheim) and Arthur (3 years/ruby)

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Darwen, Lancashire, England
    Posts
    2,828
    Post Thanks / Like
    Blog Entries
    4

    Default

    They're just doing the same to you ans you do to them - you watch them go potty - so they watch you go potty too! Only you don't get any praise
    Kirsty
    Merlin and Oakleys Mum (Merlin -Male/B&T/5 years, Oakley - Male/Ruby/3.5years)

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Tampa, Fl
    Posts
    1,616
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    Yah!! where is my "good potty" cookie?? Its a good thing I don't get stage fright with 6 little eyes peering at me. This was the funniest thing I have ever read!
    I love my Wesley, Cody, Zoey & Stewie

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    9,165
    Post Thanks / Like
    Blog Entries
    4

    Default

    Cathy Moon
    India(tri-F) Geordie(blen-M)Chocolate(b&t-F)Charlie(at the bridge)

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •