Chelle
Well-known member
Danielle, I'm so sorry for your situation, and I really can empathize. I truly know how much you're missing them and how much it hurts. And it's really, really despicable when one partner has to use helpless animals (and children) as a pawn to hurt the other. Oooh, this is such a sore subject for me and I feel so angry for you.danielle said:Thank you so much for the kind words. I am happy to be back amongst people that do understand. As far as visitation, we tried that but it did not work. It was too hard on me to see them for a few days then have to say goodbye, it was like having my heart broken time and time and time again. Plus, the ex used them as 'bait' to continue hurting me.
I was in this situation with my ex, only it had a very tragic ending. We separated and sold our house, and my daughter and I were moving into an apartment. He was moving back home with his widowed mother (at 36yrs old, don't ask), and he was going to take Roxxy (a 7yr old Bull Terrier) with him. My daughter was 4 when we separated and she had been with Roxxy her entire life. They were inseparable. It broke my heart not to take her with me, but he was already threatening a custody battle with our daughter (not that he'd have won, but it was still all very stressful), and I figured at least at his mom's, she'd have a yard to run around in, and Nikki could still see Roxxy when she was over there visiting.
The day our house closed, he called from his cell phone to tell me he was on his way to a vet's (and made a point of telling me it wasn't our regular vet, one that I didn't know), and he was going to have Roxxy put down :shock: He said his mom was giving him grief about the dog moving in with them, and if he couldn't have her, nobody could. I was hysterical. I cried and pleaded with him to bring her to me, I'd work something out with my landlord, and even find a different place to live if need be. But his mind was made up, and he hung up on me. In desperation I called our vet but they said they knew nothing about it. He took her to an out of town vet, and did it
He drove by the house afterwards (while my parents and I were still there moving boxes out) and deposited her bed, collar, leash, toys and food at the curb. A dramatic and symbolic final 'f-you'. A perfectly healthy, 7yr old dog gone, purely out of spite to hurt me. I will never, EVER forgive him for that. It's been 4 years, and there isn't a day go by that I don't think about her, and miss her.
Anyway, I don't mean to make this about me, or try to minimize your situation, and I know it breaks your heart not to see them. But, try to take some comfort in knowing they are okay, and they are together. It doesn't sound like your ex is anything like mine and would do anything to hurt either one of them. I hope you are able to find some peace in that.
I'm really sorry you're going through this, and I understand :hug:
Here's a photo of Roxxy and Nikki, 2 weeks before we lost her: