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Thread: Moving on can be so hard

  1. #1
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    Default Moving on can be so hard

    It has been a year this month since Jake passed away, time supposed to help heal a broken heart and yet I feel as sad as I did the day he went… Even writing this, tears immediately fill my eyes and stream down my face, I just miss him so much… I always knew when he passed it would be hard; I just never imagined it would be this hard. All day at work I watch beautiful dogs of all sizes romp around my room, playing, wagging tails, gentle eyes, and then they go home, as do I, except when I get home there is no wagging tail, no big brown gently eyes and it just saddens me.
    How I miss my Jake.
    This poem was given to me after her died and I still find it so hard to read, but I also just love it as it’s very much how I feel.. Thankyou for listening

    “I Only Wanted You

    They say memories are golden
    well maybe that is true.
    I never wanted memories,
    I only wanted you.

    A million times I needed you,
    a million times I cried.
    If love alone could have saved you
    you never would have died.

    In life I loved you dearly,
    In death I love you still.
    In my heart you hold a place
    no one could ever fill.

    If tears could build a stairway
    and heartache make a lane,
    I'd walk the path to heaven
    and bring you back again.

    Our family chain is broken,
    and nothing seems the same.
    But as God calls us one by one,
    the chain will link again.

    Author unknown”

  2. #2
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    Hi Soma,
    I'm sorry you're going through such a rough time I know exactly how you are feeling..... There are no words make it better.
    We were asked if we missed Rudee and I started to reply but I couldn't stop crying long enough to be able put my feelings into words. My hubby wrote the following:

    Of course we miss her dreadfully! You don't realize when you bring home a little eight week old puppy that she will virtually take over your life. Every family outing - where and when we go for an hour, a day, a weekend or a month is governed by her needs. Every meal has a bowl of scraps for her, filtered for her health.

    Her tablets, her water, her nuts, her treats - they all came before human needs. There was a bed in the kitchen, the dining room, the lounge, the bedroom - yet she spent more time sleeping on the bare floor. If she did not snore beside us, we slept fitfully. I can still feel her lovely little soft paws, can imagine stroking her and hugging her. She even smelled nice.
    Every time we took her out in the car, we had to cater for her needs for water and walks and wee. If we took her shopping, as we left the car she would eyeball her from the back seat - I could hardly resist bringing over strangers just to look at her gorgeous little face.

    What's more, you grow to love the routine - you feel empty without it. We are totally lost without her. We keep getting attacks of the blues - often without warning.

    So you see Soma - you are not alone in your longing. I'm on this journey with you and if you need someone to share your sadness with, I am here...please contact me whenever you need to. I'd love to hear all about Jake.

    Claire
    Once owned by Rudeepoohs
    then rescued by CaraMia and Minnie Moo.
    Missing all my girls every day....

  3. #3
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    I lost my English Cocker Spaniel Abby a year and a half ago. She was two weeks from her 14th birthday, was not well and it was time for her to go. But I still miss every day. I am sure many others have had the same experience so know you are not alone.
    Phyllis in West Virginia USA with two Clumbers and a Cavalier Named Buddy

  4. #4
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    Soma, I know how you feel having lost three dogs, two within four days. Like you when we lost Cindy and Sally we had an empty house, but , in the case of Benji, there was another dog, Monty, and this really did help.Since then we have added to the family.

    You can never replace nor want to replace any dog , but another little soul really does help. There are many people who truly believe that their last dog sent them their new companion; some even seeing special mannerisms emerging in the newcomer. Please consider this.
    Barbara, Monty, Joly and Teddy.

  5. #5
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    Soma
    I'm so sorry it's still so hard for you. Loosing a family pet truly is like loosing a child. In fact, our dogs ARE our children. It's something everyone here on this board understands and we all feel your pain and can begin to understand how much you miss Jake. I know nothing that I or anyone else can say will make it better, but know that you are in our thoughts and prayers.

    I pray that the pain of missing Jake will lessen for you and that one day you can remember him with happiness and less pain.
    Bruce
    MysticKnight Cavaliers

  6. #6
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    Hi Soma

    I have never been in your position of loosing one of my fur babies, I can only imagine the pain, hurt and sadness that you live in your day to day life. Please know that although we may not be with you in body we are in thought and anytime you need to talk you know where to find all of us.

    Others on the board have sent so many to the rainbow bridge, I just recently had a friend who lost her cocker spaniel and it has been extremely hard for her. I know I like so many others dread the day I have to face this too but Jake is free of pain Soma and is playing with all his friends. This may not bring you any comfort but only more tears, but I am here also to try to ease your pain or help you in any way.

    I received this from a lady who posts on this forum, she is someone I have never met and would one day love to. I have grown to love her more than some of my own actual family. So please please know that we understand and that although at times it may appear that not everyone in this big world we live in care someone, somewhere unknown does.
    Sweet Story About the Death of a Child's Dog

    This was posted to a forum. I thought you might appreciate reading it as well:

    "Our dog Abbey died Aug. 23, and the day after Abbey died, my 4 year old, Meredith, was SO upset. She wanted to write a letter to God so that God would recognize Abbey in heaven. She told me what to write, and I did. Then she put 2 pictures of Abbey in the envelope. We addressed it to God in Heaven, put two stamps on it (because, as she said, it could be a long way to heaven). We put our return address on it, and I let her put it in the drop box at the post office that afternoon. She was absolutely sure that letter would get to heaven, and I wasn't about to disillusion her.

    . . . today is Labor Day. We took the kids to the museum in Austin, and when we came home, there was a package wrapped in gold on our front porch. It was addressed to Mer. So, she took it inside and opened it. Inside was a book, When Your Pet Dies, by Mr. Rogers (Fred Rogers). On the front cover was the letter we had written to God, in its envelope (opened). On the opposite page was one of the pictures of Abbey taped on the page. On the back page was the other picture of Abbey, and this handwritten note on pink paper:

    'Dear Mer,
    I know that you will be happy to find out that Abbey arrived safely and soundly in heaven. Having the pictures you sent to me was a big help! I recognized Abbey right away!
    You know, Mer, she isn't sick anymore. Her spirit is here with me (-just like it stays in your heart-) young and running and playing. Abbey loved being your dog, you know. Since we don't need our bodies in heaven, I
    don't have any pockets to keep things in-- so I am sending you your beautiful letter back with the pictures--so that you will have this little memory book to keep. One of my angels is taking care of this for me. I hope this little book will help.
    Thank you for your beautiful letter. Thank your mother for sending it.
    What a wonderful mother you have. I picked her especially for you.
    God blesses you every day and remember, I love you very much. By the way, I am in heaven and everywhere there is love.

    Signed,
    God, and one of his special angels (who wrote this
    letter after God told HER the words).'"
    Mom to Daniel, Derrick, David
    Dudley 3 Years Old
    Darby 1 Year Old

  7. #7
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    Dear Soma, what a lovely poem!

    I'm so sorry that you lost Jake. I have been there too; when my little Tasha died after 14.5 years, it was difficult for me to adjust. I missed her so much! The house just felt so empty, and I needed the happy greeting, the warm fur, and the sweet little doggy face.

    After 6 long months, I decided to get another dog, even though I was worried how much I could love one after losing Tasha. We started our search for a puppy, and that's when we found our India, who I could not love more. When she came home, that emptiness vanished! Then we brought home two more cavs and life is full again!

    I've found that I am a person who needs a dog, at least one dog, in my life. I hope you will consider getting another pup someday; it really does help!
    Cathy Moon
    India(tri-F) Geordie(blen-M)Chocolate(b&t-F)Charlie(at the bridge)

  8. #8
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    Dear Soma

    I'm so very sorry, I do know the pain you are going through - I have three Cavalier Angels at the Bridge, and losing every one of them has been so hard.

    The very raw pain you feel immediately afterwards does lessen, but there is always a sadness that remains. As Barbara says, you can never replace Jake but maybe another furry companion would help to fill that dreadful hole in your life. It's good that you do still get to spend time with dogs at work, but perhaps in some ways that makes it harder as none of them are YOUR special friend.

    As Claire says you also miss the routine so much...after losing Peaches, I kept thinking I'd forgotten something as she was on so much medication and I had to remember to give it all the time...

    We have photos up of our girls, and we still think about them and talk to them, even though they are not here in body they are still a part of our lives.

    One of our girls, Fillipa, was particularly close to my husband - we lost her 3 1/2 years ago, and he is still so very upset. It's only recently, since finally feeling able to have another Blenheim girl, Kyla, with whom he has also bonded, that he's started to feel better.

    I hope the story about the child helps you...thanks for sharing that Lulu, someone kindly posted it on here and I sent it to my special friends, as I thought it was so lovely.

    You have to allow yourself to grieve at your own pace, don't listen to those who tell you what you should be feeling, that is something only you can know. Well meaning friends will still say "but it's only a dog" - they don't understand and never will...

    This is the Cavaliers' only fault, they break your heart when they leave...but I hope that in time you might be able to share your life with another, I think there is no greater tribute to a dog than that you loved them so much you would like to offer your love to another little furbaby.

    Thinking of you and sending hugs

    You may find it helpful to visit this site...

    http://www.petloss.com/
    Nicki and the Cavalier Clan Our photos www.scotlandimagery.com
    Supporting www.rupertsfund.com and www.cavaliermatters.org

  9. #9
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    Dear Soma,

    I can only imagine the loss you feel. Please know that my thoughts are with you and Jake. Especially now in this holy time of year.

    God bless...
    Mum to Tucker, born May 14, 2005

  10. #10
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    Soma -

    I'm so sorry you've lost your beloved Jake. These anniversaries can be especially hard as they tend to bring back all the memories in full force and as fresh as the first day. Sending warm thoughts...
    -Kendall
    Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.
    --Roger Caras

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