Soma - I'm so sorry you are still feeling so blue. I would imagine I would too. I can't imagine losing either of mine but know that it will happen. I just read through your postings about Jake. You obviously loved him tremendously and gave him the best possible life. Remember that the loss is our lost....he is in a good place. I think it would be hard to see all of those other dogs and go home to none. Eventually you will find a little one to help you heal. He/she won't replace Jake (no one can ever do that!) but will help you heal and focus your attention on nurturing a new one. You gave Jake so much love and he was such a beautiful boy. How lovely to have him for 12 glorious years!!! Please rejoice in the fact that you were able to love this sweet boy for such a long time and gave him the best possible life.
Sending you warm and healing thoughts and hugs!!
Loving mom to Jake, Shelby and Micah