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Thread: Dad had heart surgery today - UPDATE 2/28/07

  1. #21
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    My thoughts and prayers to your dad. Hugs to you too.
    Molly and Murphy (tri), Katie (ruby), Casey (B/T),Spike the wonder pup (tri), Suzie (tri) and Penny (blen)

  2. #22
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    Good wishes and prayers to you and the rest of your family, Pam.

    It's so hard to be away from family at times like this. My dad had a stroke several years ago. I was only 4 hours away but the family kept telling me to stay at home because if I went to see him he'd think he was worse than he was.......that might have been best for him but was certainly hard for me!

    Now we have hubby's Dad at 95 and not always feeling wonderful (had heart surgery 23 years ago) and his sister has Alzheimer disease. We are an 8 hour drive from them and it makes it so hard.

    My heart does goes out to you. Hopefully he'll be able to travel soon.
    Critter -
    RIP Wallis, John Robert, Tibby & Pip
    Mom to JoJo, Roxie & Linguini (Cavaliers)
    and my birds Moji (Senegal) and Walter (Blue Front Amazon)

  3. #23
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    Well, I spoke to my mum tonight. Dad is doing well. He is very confused, some is normal (for him) and some is the aneasthetic.
    He told her there was going to be a concert in his room and a band in the corner. He told her the doctor and nurse were fighting. He told her they had moved him twice (but they hadn't).
    Again, you have to see the humor.
    My parents are in Cheshire, England for those who asked.
    Thanks for all the best wishes.
    Pam
    Pam
    Mummy to Miss Madeleine born 9/1/2006

  4. #24
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    So glad your Dad is doing well. I know you are relieved.
    Sharon,
    Mom to Bleinham Cavaliers Lily, 5 years old, and Alfie, 8 year old puppy mill rescue.
    At the Bridge, Chloe, Lhasa Apso.

  5. #25
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    Pam that sound like what my O/H said he keep saying that I had keep coming back in the middle of the night and I had killed somebody and I had spent all the money quiet funny at time but he could not remmeber saying anything so pleased that your Dad sound a lot better----Aileen and the gang--(Jazzie---Barney----Sam)
    cavaliers at the bridge Mattie and Rocky & Sam & Jake
    Better to light a candle for one lost dog than to curse the darkness of man's indifference. Saving just one dog won't change the world but it surely will change the world for that one dog.

  6. #26
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    pam
    glad to hear your dad made it through and is communicating, however oddly. i hope he recovers fast, i bet he will, from the heart thing at least.
    dementia is relentlessly progressive, but if you can see the humor in it, and also, like it or not, it's far from unusual, most people get it to some degree, then you can cope better.

    being far away is so hard. Happily, it sounds like he has a lot of family support, near and far, your mom, your sister, your daughter and you. He is fortunate to have so many people who care for him as he goes through this. I know that the surgery must be confusing for him, with all the medications and other things.

    my mom has dementia. she outlived two husbands and lives alone at 88, but because of the dementia, i have had a helper go in 4 hours a day for the past three years, we've had a wonderful helper the whole time who has taken it on as a labor of love, but you never know what's going to happen, and suddenly after christmas, my mom got way more confused, and she hit her head and got a big bruise, and didn't remember how it happened, and doesn't know if it's day or night, and started staying in bed all the time and not eating, weight going down, big crisis, now i have someone there 24 hours for her, she's eating again and doing better, though still extremely confused, i'm looking into assisted living places, and feeling very much lost while trying to learn about the options and how to figure out what is right and how to do it. right now, trying to keep her at home, hoping she has enough support, trying to work it out so she can afford it, all new to me.

    You are so right. Seeing the humor in it, and also the blessings and things to be thankful for, is essential. It's easy to think negatively when things get scary, and you feel you can't do enough or can't be there enough, and its happening too fast to step back and reframe things in a more positive way, but that's the way to go--thank goodness for modern technology, you can make lots of phone calls.

    Throughout the onset of the dementia, my mom has gotten pretty depressed about it sometimes, but i can make her laugh about it, it's easy to cheer her up. I really admire the courage that she shows in existing with this challenge, and the courage of others who are going through it.

    my mom doesn't remember when i call, even though it may have been just an hour earlier, but she's always glad when she hears my voice. I'm appreciating this time because she knows very well who i am and values our relationship. Maybe that won't always be the case, so rather than seeing what's missing, i'm staying aware of what we still have.

    i sympathize with you, it's really hard to not be there in person--even though i live in driving distance, it's humanly impossible for me to work my job (which on the clock i get off at 6pm but need to work later often enough), and to get my bills paid, laundry done, etc, feed and exercise zack, and this new full time occupation i have of case management of her situation, and trying to learn how to do it right. sometimes i need to step back and see that it's all just part of life, and things work out.

  7. #27
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    Oh, Judy. I feel for you. I have always sent my parents nice gifts, taken them on holidays to Spain and the Carribbean and got them tickets to come here to the USA.
    My sister who lives a half mile from them is a single person with her own home and does not have a lot of spare money. She has said to me many times "I wish I could do that for them".
    My answer has always been "But, Diane, you do more".
    She helps them around the house, decorates for them, drives them all over now that my dad cannot drive etc. etc. etc.
    It is a lot easier to help out money wise (or was until my husband retired) than to do all the work and emotional support that is required.
    I wish I were there to help my sister, but I have a full time job here and a husband and a dog to support (LOL).
    I particularly feel that my mum is exhausted with the emotional needs of my father. In the early onsets of alzheimers he has been afraid to be away from her.
    Thank you so much for your kind words, and please know that I admire all of you that are caretakers.
    Pam
    Pam
    Mummy to Miss Madeleine born 9/1/2006

  8. #28
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    I am so glad that your father's surgery went well, my mother had some dementia too, as did my father....it's tough. Your parents are so lucky to have such a wonderful daughter!
    ~Renee, Bailey & Maddie, and RIP my beloved Bentley.

  9. #29
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    It's really difficult for those of us who are in the age group that are now taking care of our parents instead of the other way around. And as we all know, the distance makes it more difficult.

    I keep telling Bubba that he needs to see his sister more now while she still knows who he is. He gets so depressed thinking about what she will going through in the future that I really feel sorry for him. I absolutely hate it for her because we have become really close in the past 10 or 12 years and it just hurts.

    My Mom has COPD and severe osteoporosis. I talked to her earlier and she is in tremendous chronic pain. Part of the problem there is that their generation is hesitant to just tell the doctor. I asked if she had talked to him about it at her visit in January and she said he was running behind and didn't have time. Personally I would have made sure he had time, because I would have demanded it. But I think our generation and the generations below us take a more active role in our health. I've had lots of doctors give me a "look" because I take in a notebook and pen and make notes and ask questions. I think it intimidates them - or makes them think "oh no, one of those"

    So glad your father is doing better, and once the anesthetic metabolizes he'll be a bit better mentally - at least maybe he won't have bands in the corner!!

    Do we need a board for those of us who are trying to help our parents stay healthy???
    Critter -
    RIP Wallis, John Robert, Tibby & Pip
    Mom to JoJo, Roxie & Linguini (Cavaliers)
    and my birds Moji (Senegal) and Walter (Blue Front Amazon)

  10. #30
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    my dog zack is keeping his parent healthy, me. he keeps me sane and positive, pretty much.

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