Issues needing tissues
Okay, I've kept up a pretty good front here for over a week and now I'm ready to come clean.
Wallis is not doing well at all.
I took her to a different vet. I knew she had the anal gland tumor - and has had it for some time, it just started growing more in November - and also a tumor on her side. The new vet said that the anal gland tumor must be removed immediately as 90% of those are malignant. She is also in the first stages of renal failure. She is anemic. She has a Grade 3 heart murmur (which my original vet has never mentioned or never heard, not sure which). A fine needle aspirate of the tumor on her side shows that it is "not benign" and also needs to be removed immediately and that they will have to remove a layer of muscle with it to insure that they get all the cancerous tissue.
The anal gland surgery is dependant now on the results of an EKG and an ultrasound, which we are waiting to do until we do blood work to see if the Clavamox she is on helps her kidneys. She has a slightly enlarged heart and a mild interstitial pulmonary problem. She has arthritis in one shoulder and spondylosis. She'll be finished with her antibiotics next week, at which time we will be able to do another CBC and UA, then take her to a surgeon who specializes in soft tissue surgery for the ultrasound. There is a possibility that her abdomen may be filled with tumors, making the anal gland surgery un-necessary if it has already metastisized.
I am so angry with myself. I feel as though I've let not only Wallis down, but also Bubba and myself. I had a bad feeling about the first vet and should have done a lot more homework on the anal gland problem. I've beat myself up for days over this to the point of no sleep and if I do sleep I have nightmares. The small part of my brain that is logical knows that none of this is my fault, but the larger part that deals with emotion is screaming at me.
Needless to say, she is not a good candidate for surgery right now anyway. The vet has said that the best anesthetic she could get would be at UF, but he thinks that the level of competency at the local specialist is very high and that she will be fine there. And of course emotional me reads more into that than there really is, I hope.
I have needed to put this on the board, not for sympathy, but so that I could let my friends here know what's going on. If I get a bit sharper with my wit than normal I'm coming from a sad place in my heart, not a hateful place in my head. I am devastated to say the least.
But I have to look at the positives. Right now Wallis has a good quality of life. She sleeps a bit more than she did as a younger dog, but that is to be expected. When she goes out she still loves to chase lizards and will run, albeit at a slower pace, when she sees me standing in the open door. She is getting even more babying than she has in the past and she doesn't seem to mind that at all.
Bear with me. I'll keep you updated as things progress. Even if the surgery is not a possibility she will stay with us until quality life is not hers. I am going to start walking her when I get the go-ahead to help with her weight problem, which should help with the breathing.
Now to get over the anger at the first vet. I think that my best bet on that is to write him a letter and vent all my anger on him, then put the letter away. I don't have to send it just because I write it. I've also become friends with the Cav rescue person here and she absolutely insists that if I go out of town again the dogs should be staying at her house. She's such a wonderful person and very understanding.
Thanks for listening.
RIP Wallis, John Robert, Tibby & Pip
Mom to JoJo, Roxie & Linguini (Cavaliers)
and my birds Moji (Senegal) and Walter (Blue Front Amazon)