Caraline, you have said exactly the things I was thinking. And probably better than I could have said it.
My parents grew up in a time where vet care was just not something that was done. I grew up with a dog that they had put down because she had a mammory gland tumor. She had never been spayed, lived outside, etc. That's just the way they thought it was supposed to be.
Then I came along. After trying several different kinds of work I landed a position in veterinary medicine and knew I had found the right place for me. My entire family was dumbfounded, because it was like an alien had come into their lives. Mom and Dad took better care of their cats then they ever had of any other animal they had, but still not as good as I would have liked. But they have changed some, I certainly do everything I can for my animals, and my daughter does the same. I feel sure that hers will follow suit.
Sometimes we have to accept the fact that we aren't a whole lot like out parents in a lot of ways, and that is often a good thing. How would we as a human race continue to improve without change?
Keep your cool and don't be too confrontational with them. I don't know the age dynamics we're talking about here, but no "parent" wants to be confronted by their "child" regardless of the ages involved.
Gracie is still young. Try not to get too worried at this age about what might be and enjoy what is.
RIP Wallis, John Robert, Tibby & Pip
Mom to JoJo, Roxie & Linguini (Cavaliers)
and my birds Moji (Senegal) and Walter (Blue Front Amazon)