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Thread: parents! ARGH!

  1. #1
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    Default parents! ARGH!

    I just found out what my dad really thinks about dogs and I am shocked and offended. This is coming from the guy who has had two dogs as a kid so how come I'm not heartless and I haven't even had my first dog more than a freakin' YEAR! My dad doesn't think the emotions of animals matter, after all, they're just animals. He won't pay to have Grace cardiac tested because "the vet said she sounds fine!" A VET is NOT a CARDIOLOGIST! My mom, the one who didn't want a dog, is the one who will actually consider it! My dad who wanted the dog and controls the checkbook is the one who refuses. Why am I a direct descendant of people I'm nothing like. NO ONE in my family history cared about animals, in fact, my dad's mom doesn't like them (but respects people who do so that's good). We haven't started a puppy mill yet but I can't understand how my own flesh and blood can be so uncaring! It makes me so mad! I can't afford anything or I'd do something about it, which I will once I get a buisness degree and start a doggy day care so I can breed Cavaliers and kill the genetic diseases people like them caused. What kills me is that both my parents have had dogs that they say they loved but the same guy laughs about the time his cat choked to death right in front of him and the time his cat was accidentally killed by his mom when she was driving. Yet he cried when our cat, Tom died and still keeps his COLLAR in a box in his room. And the same guy who returned Tom's brother to the shelter because he didn't like the fact that Jerry didn't like him. He ALSO spanked Grace when we were housebreaking her, somethng he read he was NOT supposed to do. I hate being related to people who tried everything to save Tom's life but won't make sure we won't have to go through the pain of losing Grace to MVD. Oh, we can afford to get her to a cardiologist, they just won't pay for it. Why am I the only animal lover in the whole freakin' family and what can I do to get my parents to care?
    Proud big sister of Grace (blenheim)
    Mommy of two guinea pigs, Scooter (male roan) and Skeeter (female tricolored)
    Grandma of four baby guinea pigs, Kermit and Fozzie/Rufus (both male calicos) and Gonzo and Beaker (two male tricolored)

  2. #2
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    I feel your pain. But, not much you can do. We had dogs when I was growing up but they never lasted terribly long. My dad's ideas of "disciplining" a dog made for some very unhappy and badly behaved dogs. The one thing I learned was....I will be much better with my dogs when I'm on my own and get to have my own dog. And I am!! My dad loves my dogs but he just doesn't have the patience for them. He does have goats.....and those goats just adore him. Funny, huh?!

    Do you have health clinics? We have low cost health clinics and our dogs can be heart tested for as little as $25! Surely he couldn't argue with that.
    Cathy
    Loving mom to Jake, Shelby and Micah

  3. #3
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    The good news, is that Grace is still a young pup and not likely to need testing yet.

    Maybe by the time she needs to be seen by a cardiologist, your Dad will have changed his mind.

    Our beloved Charley died from MVD at the age of 14 years, 4 months.

    Cavaliers *can* sometimes have a long life with MVD, if they are on the proper medications.

    Most vets do know about the MVD meds., if that's any comfort.

  4. #4
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    Oh you poor thing I totally understand your feelings Growing up I was never allowed to have any pets (imagine that as a an only child) as my parents were afraid and disliked animals. I loved animals since I was a child and at times wondered how I ended up the in the family I did Now that Im grown with a home of my own I have 3 cats and 1 Cavalier (for now) I vowed to make up for all those lost years when I so wanted a pet but wasn't allowed to

    I say try to educate your parents more about Cavaliers and the seriousness of some of the diseases and go from there Grace is young so you still ahve time to get it check out as Zippy said

    Good luck!
    Jasmine, mommy to Ellie (tri girl), Griffin, Hunter, & Dexter (kitties)

    Ellie is here!!!!

    http://elliethecavalier.blogspot.com/

  5. #5
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    Is there anyway that you can discourage your Dad from hitting Grace.
    No dog should be physically disciplined. As a small dog, a Cav could be injured from being hit. I am sorry you are going through this. Can you sit down and discuss this with your parents? Please hang in there and continue to give as much love to Gracie as you possibly can. Maybe you can intervene if Gracie has an accident or does something that angers your Dad, and try to clean it up quickly. You could keep an eye on her before she does something that he doesn't like
    Sharon,
    Mom to Bleinham Cavaliers Lily, 5 years old, and Alfie, 8 year old puppy mill rescue.
    At the Bridge, Chloe, Lhasa Apso.

  6. #6
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    A Cavalier should certainly never be hit, and especially not a puppy! apparently even a gentle rebuking tap on a pup's nose can do some damage, let alone an actual spanking!

    While I've never been in your situation, I understand your feelings. I was horrified to find that my father in his troublemaking days used to shoot cats and birds with an airgun. Then again, he lived on the notorious Falls Road. There are worse things he could have been involved in, given the climate of the time. Dad became a 'born again' Christian as a young man, and now tries to convince my uncle not to take my 12 year old cousin shooting rabbits and whatnot. Some turnaround!!
    Holly - 7years
    Amber- 3 years

  7. #7
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    That must be really distressing for you. I can't think of anything comforting to say

    ... except that sometimes people are a product of their generation. What our grandparents did with their pets may horrify us today, and what our parents did may make us feel un-good. Just remember that you are not responsible for your folk's actions and while living in their home & relying on their purse you have little power to change things. Just do your best & know that you are the generation that breaks the cycle.
    ~ Sam, Sonny & Beau ~

  8. #8
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    Caraline, you have said exactly the things I was thinking. And probably better than I could have said it.

    My parents grew up in a time where vet care was just not something that was done. I grew up with a dog that they had put down because she had a mammory gland tumor. She had never been spayed, lived outside, etc. That's just the way they thought it was supposed to be.

    Then I came along. After trying several different kinds of work I landed a position in veterinary medicine and knew I had found the right place for me. My entire family was dumbfounded, because it was like an alien had come into their lives. Mom and Dad took better care of their cats then they ever had of any other animal they had, but still not as good as I would have liked. But they have changed some, I certainly do everything I can for my animals, and my daughter does the same. I feel sure that hers will follow suit.

    Sometimes we have to accept the fact that we aren't a whole lot like out parents in a lot of ways, and that is often a good thing. How would we as a human race continue to improve without change?

    Keep your cool and don't be too confrontational with them. I don't know the age dynamics we're talking about here, but no "parent" wants to be confronted by their "child" regardless of the ages involved.

    Gracie is still young. Try not to get too worried at this age about what might be and enjoy what is.
    Critter -
    RIP Wallis, John Robert, Tibby & Pip
    Mom to JoJo, Roxie & Linguini (Cavaliers)
    and my birds Moji (Senegal) and Walter (Blue Front Amazon)

  9. #9
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    Oh ! my dear ! that's terrible ! Cavaliers king charles don't need being beaten to understand. I think they are the most intelligent dogs in the world.... aren't they ?
    My parents are very old and they have always said that they don't want another dog when Flopy died three years ago. And I bought Ulysse and he is so faithful, so affectionnate with them that they can't bear living without him ! yesterday I went to the countryside and I took Ulysse with me. They missed him and said a house without a dog is a nightmare !!! How happy I am. Ulysse is my ninety-five-year-old father's best friend !
    Don't give up and try to make your parents understand.
    Huguette and Prince Ulysse

  10. #10
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    deleted my msg
    xXNishaXx
    Milo & Monty~ (Males, Blenheims, born 25/11/05 )
    Ally (Daschund - not with me)

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