My Boys

[Reenie]

I came across this lovely and and thought others would appreciate it. Sorry, I don't know who authored it.

The Seventh Sense

A single tear falls from my eye, then, others follow closely by,
Skin craves a touch from your dear paw, my heart so broken and so raw,
Eyes scan for your familiar form, from old resting spots, they won’t be torn... Nose poised for your familiar scent, my head in sorrow, deeply bent... Ears wish to hear familiar sounds, heart aches with each successive pound, Eating has lost all its favour, to swallow hard and yet not to savour, How hard it is to feel again, wrenching my chest with waves of pain...

Then, my sixth sense feels you are so near, here in my thoughts my sweetest dear, I close my eyes and see your face, fall into your eyes - that magic place, I feel my love again to flow, feel your love returned, a special glow, Sweet memories now do flood my mind, wash the pain and then replace, in kind. Time is all that holds me from your embrace, but to be here now, is my right place I have so much to do till we – joyously, side by side, forever be!

You taught me well dear friend and tutor, to love with full voice – to allow no mute here! Love unconditional, is now my fate, to my heart here on earth I will now reopen my gate, My sweet, kind, clever and generous friend, you truly taught me that ‘love really has no end’, To give ones heart, with no conditions, is to beat life’s cancer ‘loneliness’ beyond remission...This was your gift, this sense you gave me, no ‘ifs’ or ‘buts’, no room for a ‘maybe’! You are here with me now I know, and guide my heart to others to care for now!
This Seventh sense becomes my way, to get through each “without you” day.

[Claire L]

Reenie, that is just so beautiful I am going to print it off and frame it . I am putting together a collage of my Rudee's pics and this poem will be perfect. Thank you so very much for sharing

[Zippy]

So sorry for your loss.

They'll always have a home in your heart.

[Reenie]

Shari, I just read your post about Sasha, I know exactly what you are going through and how you feel! Rudy's collasped trachea wasn't diagnosed until it was too late. I know we can't live with "what ifs" but, still I wonder why the 3 prior Vets I'd taken him to couldn't have helped him. He started those nasty, gagging, snorting episodes at age 4. I was told to give him Baby aspirin, Benenedryl, pepcid, diet change, less exercise, etc...when he was 6, his heart murmur was discovered, that Vet assured me it was the cause of the episodes., although the medication seemed to help, he still had spells.....it wasn't until a blade of grass became lodged in his nasal passage and he needed anesthisia to remove it, the real condition was discovered. At that point, he was given antibiotics and a syrup. He was too "old" for surgery and also had the dreaded murmur. 3 months later, he had a terrible episode, after 3 days in intensive care and a tracheotomy, he was no better. I had to let him go, again the "what ifs" plaqued my mind, should I have put him through the trach, I'd already been told he was too old for surgery, did I make him suffer more, I was desperate, I wanted him well, I loved him so much, he trusted me, I'll never know....his loss still pains my heart. Loosing King has intensified my pain, we grieved together when Rudy was gone. Rudy and King were on the same heart meds, I'm told it's what caused King's liver damage, it makes me wonder if the cure adds to the the cause.
In short, if my loss of Rudy and your post about Sasha alerts other Cav owners about this horrible condition, perhaps it will help. Rudy was a "Tri" it seems they are more prone to breathing related problems. In Rudy's memory, I alert others, I sent copies of an article entitled "Brachycelphalia Syndrome" to local Vets and Cavalier Clubs. This gives me some level of comfort....having Charlie is wonderful, although he must endure an overly protective Mom!
Bless you and Sasha!

[Joanne M]

Thank you Reenie for sharing your loving tribute to King and Rudy. I also appreciate the information regarding the trachea condition. I'm sorry for your loss. God bless you and Charlie.

[judy]

...again the "what ifs" plaqued my mind, should I have put him through the trach, I'd already been told he was too old for surgery, did I make him suffer more, I was desperate, I wanted him well, I loved him so much, he trusted me, I'll never know...

no--i don't believe he suffered from the surgery, he was on anaesthesia, his spirit felt your love and longing to save him, his trust in you was well placed. he probably had an easier death under anaesthesia than he would've if you hadn't tried the surgery.

it was his time, he had serious illnesses that you did nothing to cause and did everything you could to help make better. i'm so sorry you had to lose him.

thank you for sharing the story. I'm sure it will help any of us who must go through this, to be more aware and to learn from what happened to rudy, the toxic medications and the missed diagnosis. thanks for using your painful experience to try to help others.

[Reenie]

Thank you, everyone! This board had helped me so much. In retrospect, the Vet told me King had the classic symptoms of Cushing Disease. At his age, treatment would of been questionable. Judy, you put it in perspective, it was "their" time with all my beloveds.
Since King's passing, my husband has been diagnosed with cancer, we are in the middle of a maze of testing, etc. and I know there is no way I could go with him to his appointments and be worried about leaving King home alone. He served me well in life and death.

I carry a print out of Rudy's condition and at one of my husbands appoinments, I chatted with a lady about her "coughing" dog and the frustration she is going through. Numerous Vets and still no diagnosis, perhaps the information will help her.

If ever King had a "twin," it was Izzy, seeing his picture posted was a reflection of my boy. I extend my sympathies to his special ones.
Reenie

[Mabel's Mom]

Reenie,
My heart breaks for you. I had to put Mabel down last week. They become such a huge part of our lives...when they go, they leave a huge hole. I try to take comfort that Mabel isn't suffering anymore. Niether are your precious boys.
Karin

[lindsey]

I'm so sorry...will be thinking of you!