Help - I think That Woman Woman has gone mad! This morning while she was in the shower I invented a new game. I jump up on the toilet paper roll and unroll it. It was great fun and passed the time while That Woman showered. I managed to unroll most of it before she got out. That Woman wasn’t as proud of me as I was.
Since the snow has pretty much melted in our yard I’m able to explore it for the first time. There are so many interesting smells, places to go, and plants to taste that I’m just not all that interested in coming when That Woman calls me. She says something about eating plants being bad for me but since she seems to be trying to starve me I have to get some nutrition somewhere. Now she puts me on a leash when I go out in the yard! Can you believe it? I think that constitutes cruel and unusual punishment so I try and chew my way loose. Then That Woman sprays some foul tasting stuff on the leash. Yuck!!!
Somehow That Woman got an idea into her head that I needed to go to puppy class. That’s just a fancy name for “No Fun At All”. Don’t get me wrong - there are lots of cool pups there but the trainer lady scolds us and sends us to opposite ends of the room if we try to play with each other. I thought today though I might try and enlist her support to rescue me from my sad lot in life. First, I refused to do any of the behaviours that I will do at home and when we go for walks. That didn’t really get the response I was looking for since That Woman just said “well that’s why we’re here so you can learn to work with distractions” so I started chewing on my leash. That got the attention of the trainer lady - as soon as she was looking I started jumping up and chewing on That Woman’s pants. That brought the trainer lady running over so then I threw myself to the ground and started chewing on the leash again. She was telling That Woman that “Max will most likely have to continue on in obedience”. Hmmmm did that backfire on me or what?
That Woman muttered something about being exhausted after class and took me home to play with Mindy while she went off to take her one of her human kids for lunch. I think I’m going to try batting my cute little brown eyes at her tonight and see if she’ll loosen up on the leash restriction. Maybe you guys could put in a good word for me?