So worried about Harry :(

Hello again everyone. Sorry this post might be long icon_blshing

Yesterday was a very bad day, I spoke to the vet on the phone who has assured me there is nothing more that anybody (including a cardiologist) could do for Harry. He said he didn't expect Harry to make it to Christmas and suggested we started thinking about having Harry PTS in the next few days. I managed to hold it together (kind of) whilst on the phone but as soon as I hung up I was in floods of tears and couldnt breathe trying to tell my mum what he had said.

Although I have a lot of faith in this particular Vet, he has only seen Harry once. Last week he gave me a list of guidlines to his quality of life and said if we lost one guideline, we need to start thinking about having Harry PTS. However he said that so far Harry was ticking all 5 guidelines for having a good quality of life. He did say that Harry's heart is terrible, twice the size it should be

My mum strongly disagrees that it is Harry's "time" and reassured me that if I was unsure, she would let me know. I took him for a short walk this afternoon and whilst he was skipping around the field I made myself detatch myself from the situation nd thought "if I was a stranger watching this dog, would I think he is ready to be PTS?" and my answer was 100% no. Im so confused, from a medical perspective he is really bad but from a quality of life perspective he is ok and seems to be enjoying life. I am the last person to want to see Harry unhappy or in pain.

Ive got to say, I know I'll have a lot like this to deal with in the future, but this has got to be the worst thing ive ever experienced. I dont know why I always thought Harry and I would be together forever but I did. Ive felt like as long as I have Harry I dont need anything else. I cant believe saying goodbye to my best little buddy is just around the corner

How terribly difficult for you and your mum. I know that we have many who have gone through this horrible disease and can offer some personal experience and perspective. But you are dealing with an issue that would be similar with any illness so that is where I would offer my own perspective.

First, I think you are wise and caring to try and look at Harry as a stranger might. And I would agree with your view I think- if he seems happy in himself and isn't in pain and struggling I would be encouraged to keep giving him time.

What I would weigh against that is that sometimes we don't fully understand the level of struggle which a vet might be in a be in a better position to do. And also: that I'd be aiming to let him go at the point where he clearly is about to start to struggle but is not yet having to experience serious discomfort. This is because I strongly believe it is much gentler and kinder for our loved companions to be released before they must deal with incapacitating pain or distress if at all possible, and with us by their side to ease their passing and bear witness, just as they stood by us for so long, even if it may seem hard to be there (I urge everyone to recall how our companions never questioned their devotion to us and gave us so much love, and to therefore be with them as they pass on, so they have the comfort of their owner's presence. I think it is our final responsibility to theae wonderful, loving companions, and though it may seem hard to imagine, it is also moving and consoling to be there). The difficulty is gauging that moment that is 'best' :flwr: especially when. It is a moment none of us wish to accept or see . A vet I trust told me when I had to take such a decision about one of my cats, that she felt it better to let her go while she was ill but still not in severe pain as she would only be slowly diminished by bouts of infection that she'd struggle with. She noted she was already distressed by being somewhat incontinent, which really upsets cats. For those reasons I took the very hard decision to let her go.

But that said- if Harry is happy in himself and greets each day still then I would be inclined to give him time. There's a good article on how to know when it is time pinned to the health library section which might be of help.

I am so sorry for your grief- to have had such a sweet companion for so long and have had him so much a part of all your memories makes such a situation especially hard.

:flwr:

So glad to read your wise words, Karlin - we've missed you!

I've been in touch with xoxHannaHxox by PM, as she lives in my county, and have offered a few words from my own experience of "when is the right time". I must say, I agree with you very much about not leaving it until our beloved companions are really struggling. And that moment can sometimes come on quite suddenly, as I'm sure many of us can verify.

Meanwhile, I'm sure we are all holding Harry and his family in our hearts and hoping he still has a little more time with them all yet

I do so feel for you.

The decision is never easy or straightforward, especially when you are young and it is your special dog.

The first cavalier we lost was Betsey Trotwood. She was my daughter's eighth birthday present and she died when Vikki was sixteen.
It was a heartbreaking time.

I had to put my poor little chin,Tyson, to sleep earlier this year. He too had heart problems which caused ascites ( fluid in his stomach )
Diuretics eventually stopped working, the fluid built up and his stomach became bloated while he slowly lost energy.
I like to think I made the decision to euthanise him before he became too uncomfortable.

I have owned dogs for thirty six years, so I have seen a lot of much loved companions die.
With one little tricolour girl I did not make the decision soon enough. and I vowed I would never do that again.

I am sorry if this upsets you, but it will be best if you think a little ahead and plan for a good ending.
Harry has had so much love, he will not know about death or dying, so he will have no fear as long as he has loving arms to hold him.

With my cavaliers I have always fed them their favourite titbit as the vet injected them, so my memories are of them looking up, eager eyed, in anticipation.

It is a very hard time for you, but I'm sure that you and your Mother together will know when things have changed for Harry, and he is beginning to struggle.

We are all thinking of you

I am so sorry and thinking of you during this time

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