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Thread: Crying and have nobody to talk to about my beautiful Abbey

  1. #1
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    Default Crying and have nobody to talk to about my beautiful Abbey

    I'm taking a couple days off work to prepare for surgery and today on the agenda is bathe 4 dogs and groom them. I just finished bathing Abbey and I almost cried in there. I had a heck of a time. She didn't even want to stand and at times I literally had to hold her up with one hand and the nozzle in the other hand. As I looked at her I looked at her in a way I never had and I want to call my husband and tell him what I'm feeling right now but I know he would lose it. As I looked at her with her tongue hang out from damage pre surgery and unable to stand I said "omg and now I am crying"--is it time. Is she living any more? now i have completely lost it. I want to call my vet but he's out of town. I can't even see the screen right now.
    Linda, Georgia, USA
    Winston--shih tzu-male, Darby female tri, Bentley male blenheim and Chelsea, black-tan
    Abbey my beloved tri who is so embedded in my heart--RIP Sweet Princess

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    Hi Linda,
    You have us to talk to...and no matter what,we always understand.
    I collected my Daisy from the groomer this afternoon and she's been shaved right down and looks like a little plump freckled mole.It's impossible to get a brush on her as she has such a reaction to being touched,even the groomer had quite a job to contend with.
    However,we simply do all we can and do our best for them in spite of the challenges.
    You really mustn't try to make decisions under stress.
    Now that you're off work and have so much time to think,the situation you find yourself in does not lend itself to calm and informed decisions.
    Perhaps you need to be a bit selfish and focus on yourself,get through your own surgery and on the road to recovery.
    Then take the advice of the specialists about your darling girl,basically you need to see what improvements can be made to her life and see how these goals can be achieved.You need to approach this in a calm and practical way and not be pressurised.
    So give yourself some time and allow yourself a break from the worry.
    Sins

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    Hello Linda,

    I am so sorry for what you are going through.

    Nobody is going to be able to help you or Abbey through this. Only you can do it, and my goodness you have done a wonderful job so far.

    It seems you have reached the stage where you need to put all thoughts of your own and other people's feelings aside and just be sure, as best you can, as to what Abbey is getting out of life right now.

    If it is just the trauma of having a bath that has knocked Abbey for six, well it really isn't that necessary to bath a dog regularly, a wipe over with baby bath solution on a dog flannel deals with most things.

    If it is more than that and you have come to the conclusion that Abbey is not getting enough enjoyment out of life then her interest, I know, will come first with you.

    My friend, You know her best, only you can make the decision.

    I could weep for you, for Abbey, for my own Tommy and for myself. There are so many of us knowing what you are going through.

    My very best wishes,
    Margaret C

    Cavaliers......Faith, The Ginger Tank and Woody.
    Japanese Chins.... Dandy, Benny, Bridgette and Hana.
    Remembered with love......... Tommy Tuppence and Fonzi

  4. #4
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    I haven't stopped crying since I wrote that. I have never ever thought of putting her down until today. Not even once. After her bath I held her sobbing and she looked at me whacked out like I was crazy. She's not the dog she once was and I truly think its been a very gradual change. Thank you so much for replying sins as even reading that has helped.

    It didn't help after writing that that I checked my personal e-mail and somebody sent me a you-tube e-mail with a video of her dog that broke my heart. It definitely was not the greatest video to watch and I saw symptoms in that video that I connected with Bentley and now I'm figuring he probably has it. I recently read on here somebody comparing sm to not a handicap but something else ---can't remember the word. SM is heart breaking.
    Linda, Georgia, USA
    Winston--shih tzu-male, Darby female tri, Bentley male blenheim and Chelsea, black-tan
    Abbey my beloved tri who is so embedded in my heart--RIP Sweet Princess

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    im so sorry your feeling this bad . please talk to us im sorry i dont know your story i will have to catch up . have a cuppa and cuddle the dogs and hopefully you will feel a bit better . big hugs x

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    Oh Margaret and Sins you know what I have gone through with Abbey and how she means the world to me and this is the first day in her life where I am seeing some other things. In regard to bath that isn't really it. Maybe I have emotions hidden down about fear of this surgery in 4 days and this is topping me off. It just breaks my heart right now to have her in those booties which do help but I'm seeing her so differently. I'm trying to think clearly and I'm probably not even making sense right now. I look at her sometimes and I see a person whacked out on drugs. I know when I come home from surgery I hope I'm able to enjoy some time with her but she doesn't even sit on my lap like she used to. She used to live for that.

    SM is sooooooooooooooo horrible. I just hate it. Need to pull myself together as I have so much to do before tuesday.
    Linda, Georgia, USA
    Winston--shih tzu-male, Darby female tri, Bentley male blenheim and Chelsea, black-tan
    Abbey my beloved tri who is so embedded in my heart--RIP Sweet Princess

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    I guess what I'm trying to say is I see her as very handicapped. I look at her sometimes and she just look whacked out--yes its after she has had her drugs. Is this really living? Now she's falling --thats the real heart wrencher. I'm looking at this today as never ever have. She's not in pain--she's happy but is she living? If I was in her shoes would I want to be alive? So now I have a dog with neuro damage, falls etc. She also looks whacked out all the time. ughhh
    Linda, Georgia, USA
    Winston--shih tzu-male, Darby female tri, Bentley male blenheim and Chelsea, black-tan
    Abbey my beloved tri who is so embedded in my heart--RIP Sweet Princess

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    Linda,

    Sins is right. Right now is not the time to be making any decisions. I know how hard it is and I have followed Abby's story. You may have some feelings about your own surgery. That fear can also have to do with Abby. I feel the tears through my screen and it is something I wish I could say something to make it go away. I am here for you and if you ever need to talk, you can send me a PM and I will give you my phone number. (I'm in NC). I think one of the hardest things was how Ella would snuggle up with me but then she wouldnt want to. She would lay on top on the couch (on good days) and I would put my arm on her for a minute. She then would scoot to the other side or go to the cool floor. I would cherish the moments. As for Abby, you will know when you calm down what to do.

    Also she could be sensing your anxiety for the surgery. Sometimes when you have time off, it makes you think more and more. Breathe in and out.
    Anne Proud mother of Elton 5 and Angel Ella

  9. #9
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    I have seen her gradually go down this past year and as I look back a year ago even things are so different. I just looked at her and she was standing with her tongue hanging out as it always does and her legs shaking. Her legs are so weak. She is so different. Mothers intuition--she don't look right but yet as I just said hi baby she looks at me with her tail wagging. She does seem happy. I guess bath put me over the edge today as she had never done what she did today--She just didn't want to stand at all. I am definitely having an emotional day and no I would never make any decisions. You guys will see more on me on here as I will be off from work until I am cleared from physical therapy after my surgery which is probably at least 4-6 weeks.

    Bless you all. I haven't had this rough of a time since right after her surgery.
    Linda, Georgia, USA
    Winston--shih tzu-male, Darby female tri, Bentley male blenheim and Chelsea, black-tan
    Abbey my beloved tri who is so embedded in my heart--RIP Sweet Princess

  10. #10
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    Oh Linda, you poor thing and poor Abbey.
    Like others have written, don't go rushing into making any decisions right now.
    You are probably up the walls trying to get things organised before your surgery, no doubt bathing Abbey was one of the jobs you had to get done . You will have plenty of time to evaluate things when you are at home recovering and you can see things more clearly then. I bet she will be thrilled to have you around more too.
    Best wishes and lots of
    Shirley
    A comfy lap for
    Trapper - tri boy Feb 2004, Bosco - ruby boy Jan 2008

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