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Thread: Crying and have nobody to talk to about my beautiful Abbey

  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by linderbelle View Post
    I guess what I'm trying to say is I see her as very handicapped. I look at her sometimes and she just look whacked out--yes its after she has had her drugs. Is this really living? Now she's falling --thats the real heart wrencher. I'm looking at this today as never ever have. She's not in pain--she's happy but is she living? If I was in her shoes would I want to be alive? So now I have a dog with neuro damage, falls etc. She also looks whacked out all the time. ughhh
    I know you are stressed, but you are asking questions that you will not be able to just put aside.
    I do not want to upset you and I agree that you should not make hasty decisions, but I am trying to answer as honestly as I can.

    I am disabled but I am happy and it is really living.
    Even feeling whacked out leaves the possibility of moments of real enjoyment and many seniors, human and canine, live such a life and are content.

    Suddenly realsing how much deterioration has taken place is a shock, but it is when existence becomes more pain than anything else that decisions have to be made. Do you fear that situation has arrived?
    Margaret C

    Cavaliers......Faith, The Ginger Tank and Woody.
    Japanese Chins.... Dandy, Benny, Bridgette and Hana.
    Remembered with love......... Tommy Tuppence and Fonzi

  2. #12
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    SM is horrible and tough to deal with. I think many of us can want to block out the fact that we see progression and sometimes therefore continue to do with our dogs what we did in the past. Abbey is letting you know though that baths are out from now on -- many SM dogs are like this; it is just way too traumatic to try and hold them, wash them, brush/comb hair etc. Any touch needs to be extremely gentle. I suppose imagine if your own body were covered in painful bruising and someone was trying to forcibly hold you and manipulate you and touch all areas of your skin, spray those painful areas with water etc -- it would be pretty traumatic.

    Doing baths now sets off my Leo as well for the first time ever and I will need to reconsider how he is cleaned -- he loves to swim so I think I will just let him clean himself that way . I only wash my dogs once every 4 months at most anyway and just gentle rinsing of legs or whatever with warm water and gentle towel dry through soft pats and NO rubbing really is all Abbey is going to need or a wipe down with a baby wipe, very very gently; I'd focus on cleaning her hair and not even touching her body or skin.

    You will need to gently accept that she is not like the others though any longer, and cannot be put through the stress and pain of baths -- she must just have reached a point where she is too sensitive to touch.

    Maybe it helps to know I also just gave a final bath to Lucy who has MVD -- she is well used to baths, but it was just stressful enough, even though she is very calm during them, that when she was set back down nice and dry, she began to lose her footing, as she does when she gets over-excited or over-stressed now. It is just not fair to ask them to go through with baths any longer when it is distressful as they are perfectly happy (and often happier) without the baths -- baths especially more often then every few months are really more for us.

    I hope you can work out a medication routine that works better for her; it sounds like it is a good time to review that.
    Karlin
    Cavaliers: Jaspar Lily Tansy Libby Mindy
    In memory: Lucy Leo
    Cavalier SM Information site:www.smcavaliers.com

  3. #13
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    Oh Margaret I wasn't putting across handicapped isn't living. I have a dear friend that is a quad and loves life. I'm not myself at all today so bear with me. Its all the changes in her.

    Margaret I have read what you wrote probably 5 times and you are a blessing as you always are. I truly believe she is happy---I truly believe she is not in pain. She does not cry out. She does not do what she did before the surgery. Yes her legs are weak. We are dealing with making the situation better for her under all the recommendations on here and tips. I'm starting to feel stupid now that I even thought today of even considering putting her down. Geesh have I lost my mind. She has a wonderful life---she has two parents that love her like she were a child and would do anything for her. She is treated like a queen. Her every need is taken care of.

    In regards to your last question to me--no after thinking clearly and with the help of my friends on CT no that time is not here.

    Karlin---Her legs shake but when she gets excited is when she loses her footing the most so I truly understand and a bath is stressful so I see where you are coming from. We are going to re-evaluate this situation. She could have just been clipped today without bathing. She didn't really stink.

    I did e-mail Dr. Shores today and I spilled my guts and he got right back to me and told me he and his residents reviewed her video again and felt she was not in pain. This is what he wrote:

    I reviewed her video with my residents and we discussed her condition.
    None
    of us think she is in pain, so that is a blessing. We do see a
    degree of
    what we feel like is weakness and she is not fully aware of the
    positioning
    of her feet and legs. All of this may be associated with a
    disorder
    involving the nerves or muscles instead of the spinal cord. It
    was our
    collective thought that you should go forward with your surgery
    and then look
    at options for Abbey. She seems happy and as we have all
    said, not in
    pain.

    So, I hope all goes well with your surgery -- after your recovery,
    please
    let us know if we can be of any further help.

    Before I go back to work I'm going to have her evaluated by a neuro-her neuro now has moved and is really too far to go so we need to find another.


    Bless you all. I feel so much better. You are all here for me when I need you.
    Linda, Georgia, USA
    Winston--shih tzu-male, Darby female tri, Bentley male blenheim and Chelsea, black-tan
    Abbey my beloved tri who is so embedded in my heart--RIP Sweet Princess

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by linderbelle View Post
    Before I go back to work I'm going to have her evaluated by a neuro-her neuro now has moved and is really too far to go so we need to find another.
    Linda,

    In a few weeks when you are looking at neurologist alternatives, I'll share with you my impressions of Dr. Platt when I took Tucker in for an MRI and evaluation. I liked him very much, so UGA might be an option to consider.

    Hang in there and take care of yourself,

    Pat
    Pat B
    Atlanta, GA

  5. #15
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    I think I may still have your e-mail Pat but not sure. Could you pm it in case I don't have it. That's great to hear as that isn't that far and I sure do respect your opinion.

    Thanks all. What a day. I'm not an emotional person but geesh what happened today.

    Hugs to you all that got me through today.
    Linda, Georgia, USA
    Winston--shih tzu-male, Darby female tri, Bentley male blenheim and Chelsea, black-tan
    Abbey my beloved tri who is so embedded in my heart--RIP Sweet Princess

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by linderbelle View Post
    I'm taking a couple days off work to prepare for surgery and today on the agenda is bathe 4 dogs and groom them. I just finished bathing Abbey and I almost cried in there. I had a heck of a time. She didn't even want to stand and at times I literally had to hold her up with one hand and the nozzle in the other hand. As I looked at her I looked at her in a way I never had and I want to call my husband and tell him what I'm feeling right now but I know he would lose it. As I looked at her with her tongue hang out from damage pre surgery and unable to stand I said "omg and now I am crying"--is it time. Is she living any more? now i have completely lost it. I want to call my vet but he's out of town. I can't even see the screen right now.
    Internet Huggles!

    I can't even imagine being in your shoes, you are doing the best you can and it doesn't seem like enough to you, but it is love.

    I don't know about you, but Luka has SM and I take 60 seconds a day and cry and feel sorry for myself and then I get up and try to be brave for him. It's easier a little at a time so it doesn't get overwhelming.

    I hope you have a better day.

  7. #17
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    Thanks Goda.

    Where in Seattle are ya? I'm in Georgia--been here for 13 years but first 46 years I was in Seattle area. Grew up in Bellevue then to Kirkland and last place before coming here was Woodinville. My son is in Mill Creek.
    Linda, Georgia, USA
    Winston--shih tzu-male, Darby female tri, Bentley male blenheim and Chelsea, black-tan
    Abbey my beloved tri who is so embedded in my heart--RIP Sweet Princess

  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by linderbelle View Post
    Oh Margaret I wasn't putting across handicapped isn't living. I have a dear friend that is a quad and loves life. I'm not myself at all today so bear with me. Its all the changes in her.
    Dear Linda,
    Don't worry I understood what you were saying and meaning.


    Quote Originally Posted by linderbelle View Post
    I'm starting to feel stupid now that I even thought today of even considering putting her down. Geesh have I lost my mind..
    No, these thoughts are what we all face at some time and there are times when it is right that we stop & check out what is currently happening.


    Quote Originally Posted by linderbelle View Post
    In regards to your last question to me--no after thinking clearly and with the help of my friends on CT no that time is not here..
    And that is also the opinion that an experienced neurologist has given you, so now you can go ahead with your operation with that clear in your mind.


    Quote Originally Posted by linderbelle View Post
    Bless you all. I feel so much better. You are all here for me when I need you.
    What are friends for?

    We will be thinking of you over the next few days. When do you go in and how long are you likely to stay in hospital?
    Margaret C

    Cavaliers......Faith, The Ginger Tank and Woody.
    Japanese Chins.... Dandy, Benny, Bridgette and Hana.
    Remembered with love......... Tommy Tuppence and Fonzi

  9. #19
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    I'm so sorry for all you're going through Linda. Sm is just rotten, there's no other way to put it. But, I also want to emphasize that you are going through surgery in a few days and even without the stress of Abbey and maybe thinking Bentley has SM, the thought of surgery and general anesthesia is overwhelming. I had two abdominal hernia surgeries years ago and was a mess for days before I went in for the surgeries just thinking about being put under anesthesia, who's going to take care of my kids, the dogs, etc, if anything happens. Believe me, I cried a river a tears before each surgery. So please don't underestimate the power of what the anticipation of your own surgery is adding to the picture of Abbey. I know you can see a difference, but it might help to take a step back and say o.k. let me re-evaluate when I'm home from surgery and my pain level is tolerable.

    I also think that maybe the best thing would be to bring her in to the new neuro you pick for an extensive neuro exam. That will do more to set your mind at ease than sending videos and communicating by e-mail. That way you're face to face, the neuro can see Abbey and can pick up on subtleties that can't be seen on a video, and maybe you can talk about her medication regimen, especially if she seems "whacked" out on her meds. By then she may have lost a little weight so that may make it easier to determine what is actually caused by the SM and what is being aggravated by being too heavy. Be sure to tell George to lay off those treats for her while you're in the hospital!!!!

    Close your eyes and take some slow deep breaths. Snuggle with your babies and visualize everything being calm and relaxed. We're here for you.
    Bev
    Oliver (blenheim, born 3/2001), Riley (black & tan, born 8/2002,), Madison (ruby, born 9/2003), and Oz (tri-color, born 7/2007)

  10. #20
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    I have just caught up with this thread and I am so sorry to see how bad you feel and how your poor little one is deteriorating because of this horrible disease.

    My boy Rebel has it too. He was diagnosed a couple of years ago and only became symptomatic several months ago, but the progress of the disease and its effects on him are awful.

    Rebel is the opposite of your dog. He was booked in for eye ulcer surgery and a heart x-ray this morning, so of course I bathed and groomed him last night. He is now a retired show dog because of his poor health, so very used to being bathed and groomed and has always been one who cannot stand still for more than 2 minutes at a time but so vain that I have always had to show him his reflection in a mirror when he is done, so that he can admire himself. Last night there was none of this. He stood still as a statue and his eyes looked as though the lights were on but nobody was home. He didn't want to see himself in the mirror, just no interest in what was being done to him, he just wanted to stand there and wait until it was over. I too cried.

    When I took him in to the vet this morning half of me wondered whether he would come through the anaesthetic or not. Something inside me said it might be better for him if he did not. When I got the 'phone call to collect him and to have a chat with the vet I changed my mind completely. When the nurse brought him into the surgery I was so relieved that he was ok.

    Rebel does have problems and he may be going on to Gabarpentin fairly soon, but when I took him for a walk on the way home he was a slowed down but very happy little dog, sniffing everything he could find and meeting an adoring public in the local shopping centre. His tail wagged like crazy when the staff in the local greengrocery insisted that I should bring him into the shop, where he chatted up and gave kisses to both the girls. Life is good again for this little dog.

    What I am saying is that like me you should not give up hope. Okay, this disease is very nasty and it is upsetting to see our dogs deteriorate like this, but if they show us they are happy and their quality of life is generally good, then shouldn't we just count our blessings and be glad that they are still with us.
    Warmest wishes
    Flo & the ByFloSin Cavaliers
    Winston Alexander,Little Joe & Holly Poppet
    Birmingham, UK

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