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Thread: Not The Greatest News

  1. #1
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    Default Not The Greatest News

    I now have a puppy. Before you rejoice however, let me tell you that despite having wanted to buy from an awesome breeder with all bells and whistles, that was not the case. I know, I know. Trust me, I know. I don't want to get into the details because it angers and saddens me myself. Anyway, I made a 'selfish' decision when I was faced with 'It's this puppy or no puppy' and that is how I ended up with my puppy.

    I have had him only for a couple of days now and felt too ashamed to tell you. Really, I figured I just wouldn't show my face here again but then I realized that I will really need the help and support because I do expect that I will be faced with heartbreak down the line. Basically, that's the only reason why I am pushing myself to post here right now.

    Whilst it's really difficult to explain and comprehend the situation, the puppy will always get the care he needs. It's really odd for me to say this, but it's not about money even though it actually is. Basically, my boyfriend has no financial objections with treating a sick dog, but he had a problem with paying so much for a dog that couldn't be guaranteed to be free of the illnesses. In his mind, this breed meant health problems down the line one way or another. *Shrugs* I know it'll set many of you guys off. It did set me off as well. However, you don't know my boyfriend and he is a good man so please don't accuse him of being a terrible person. He just had a very different perception and I wasn't able to convince him otherwise.

    Like I said, in the end, my own decision came down to having a puppy or not having one and I made a selfish decision at that point for my own personal reasons.

    I have a little boy now. I named him 'Puck'. It's not an adorable name, but it's got a lot of significance to me.

    Anyway, I am sorry for having done the breed such a disservice. It really was not what I had expected. I hope I can be allowed to stay for Puck's sake. Despite what has happened, we do love him enormously and we have every intention of giving him as good a life as we can while we have him. I had so looked forward to joining you guys as a cavalier owner but now I am so ashamed that I am scared to enjoy it despite feeling blessed to have this lil guy in my life. I'm quite conflicted really. *Sigh* This should have been a much happier post...

  2. #2
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    Hello Nela, Im sure no one will say you cannot stay ! Im trying to understand your situation here. Is it that you bought from a breeder that does not health screen/check or is it that your puppy actually has a health problem now?



    OK I think I understand now
    Last edited by Blueroses; 11th July 2011 at 12:47 PM.

  3. #3
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    Default Not the greatest news

    Quote Originally Posted by Nela View Post
    I now have a puppy. Before you rejoice however, let me tell you that despite having wanted to buy from an awesome breeder with all bells and whistles, that was not the case. I know, I know. Trust me, I know. I don't want to get into the details because it angers and saddens me myself. Anyway, I made a 'selfish' decision when I was faced with 'It's this puppy or no puppy' and that is how I ended up with my puppy.

    I have had him only for a couple of days now and felt too ashamed to tell you. Really, I figured I just wouldn't show my face here again but then I realized that I will really need the help and support because I do expect that I will be faced with heartbreak down the line. Basically, that's the only reason why I am pushing myself to post here right now.

    Whilst it's really difficult to explain and comprehend the situation, the puppy will always get the care he needs. It's really odd for me to say this, but it's not about money even though it actually is. Basically, my boyfriend has no financial objections with treating a sick dog, but he had a problem with paying so much for a dog that couldn't be guaranteed to be free of the illnesses. In his mind, this breed meant health problems down the line one way or another. *Shrugs* I know it'll set many of you guys off. It did set me off as well. However, you don't know my boyfriend and he is a good man so please don't accuse him of being a terrible person. He just had a very different perception and I wasn't able to convince him otherwise.

    Like I said, in the end, my own decision came down to having a puppy or not having one and I made a selfish decision at that point for my own personal reasons.

    I have a little boy now. I named him 'Puck'. It's not an adorable name, but it's got a lot of significance to me.

    Anyway, I am sorry for having done the breed such a disservice. It really was not what I had expected. I hope I can be allowed to stay for Puck's sake. Despite what has happened, we do love him enormously and we have every intention of giving him as good a life as we can while we have him. I had so looked forward to joining you guys as a cavalier owner but now I am so ashamed that I am scared to enjoy it despite feeling blessed to have this lil guy in my life. I'm quite conflicted really. *Sigh* This should have been a much happier post...

    NOT THE GREAREST NEWS.


    Nela, I just don't how to answer your Post.


    Bet
    Bet (Hargreaves)

  4. #4
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    Well you are very brave to come back and tell us and of course we want you to stay.


    **I know that this will raise strong emotions and many people will be very angry but this thread will be monitored closely so please be careful what you post**



    I truly hope that something good can come out of this situation because you are able to speak out about what you have done, it might encourage others not to do the same.

    I do feel sorry for your puppy, as you yourself say, it was a selfish decision and it has not given him the best chance of avoiding health issues. if I met your boyfriend I would like to describe the suffering I have witnessed personally with these beloved companions and tell him that by buying this puppy, he has just encouraged the breeder to carry on breeding and bring more unfortunate souls into the world. It's not just a matter of paying vet bills, it's the constant care, and the emotional drain on you, as you've already discovered, the love you have for these wee ones is overwhelming. That is the future for you and your boyfriend.


    Yes health testing is not guaranteed - it dose however give your puppy the best chance of a healthy life.

    Breeders who do not health test also often do not keep their breeding dogs in the best possible conditions or feed them well or give them regular veterinary treatment.


    I truly hope that your puppy did not come from a puppy farm - actually many puppy farmers now charge similar prices to good breeders.




    I do want to say that you should enjoy your puppy, and not let this totally overshadow your relationship with him. PLEASE make sure you take out insurance, if you search there is lots of information about insurance on here.

    Again thank you for being honest enough to tell us, and I really do hope that you will be inspired to encourage others to support health testing breeders in the future.
    Last edited by Nicki; 11th July 2011 at 10:54 AM.
    Nicki and the Cavalier Clan Our photos www.scotlandimagery.com
    Supporting www.rupertsfund.com and www.cavaliermatters.org

  5. #5
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    Nela,
    You're not the first and I doubt you'll be the last...
    As you probably know..you've now relieved the breeder of the burden of an unsold puppy,taken the responsibility away from him/her and taken it upon yourself for the rest of it's life.
    You're on your own with the puppy,probably no support from the breeder if anything goes wrong.
    But,you're an adult and you've made an informed decision and we must all live with the consequences of our decisions,be they positive or negative.
    Good luck with the puppy and above all else,just love him to bits!
    Sins

  6. #6
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    All I want to say is that I appreciate your honesty and what ever is done is done, so my opinion won't matter here. However, I just wanted to say that now that you do have your puppy, there is no point in us yelling at you or anyone, so I don't think we should.

    Like Nicki said...get pet insurance (well, we all should!) and enjoy your moments. Maybe since you feel that what you did might not have been the best decision...use that energy to make a difference, to help educate others and to talk about your story (why you decided to go forward with this particular puppy vs. health tested parents, what research you did before hand, how you feel now, etc.). I actually think your story can create (if we let it, so please do!) a healthy conversation. A LOT of people are faced with this cross road. The "oh heck, she's so cute, I'll just get her" type of situation, so don't feel like you are alone...I think most people just won't admit it. So I appreciate that you did admit it, and now what? What will you do now to create the "conversation"...with new owners, with people thinking about buying a puppy, with yourself. That is where you are needed...not to defend yourself, but to explain to to help in the future for the many many people who will look at a cav and just, "fall in love", or "want to rescue it" or any other reason that makes us all forget our own intentions sometimes. You are only human, and so are a lot of us, so now you can use your learning to maybe help other prospective puppy owners overcome what might have overcome you.

    I have no control over who stays on here or not, but I support you stay and I support that we support you (not your decision, but you and Puck) and that we continue to support one another, educate one another, and be there for one another.

  7. #7
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    It is such a tricky one, this. On the one hand, you don't want to encourage thoughtless, heartless, money-centred breeders to go on breeding. On the other hand, this puppy exists, and is it better for it to be bought by an owner who will take good care of it, or by someone else who knows nothing about health problems and at the first sign of problems could have it put to sleep? I have similar feelings about the rescue where I got Aled - they take dogs out of puppy farms - great; but they get the dogs on condition that they don't reveal the name of the breeder - who can then go on breeding more puppies and misusing more bitches who may eventually end up in the same rescue. It is a real moral dilemma, and people will come to different decisions.

    But the most important thing now is your puppy, and ensuring that he has the best possible chance of a happy and healthy life. You have to take responsibility for your actions - as we all do - but please also enjoy your puppy!

    Kate, Oliver and Aled

  8. #8
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    [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3]Hi Nela[/SIZE][/FONT]
    [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT][/SIZE]
    [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3]Thank you for being honest but I donít quite understand what you mean. [/SIZE][/FONT]
    [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT][/SIZE]
    [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3]Have you just bought Puck from a breeder who doesnít health test but has happy clean healthy looking dogs or is Puck actually ill already & from some kind of dreadful breeder with dogs in a terrible condition?[/SIZE][/FONT]
    [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT][/SIZE]
    [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3]Have you seen his mother?[/SIZE][/FONT]
    [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT][/SIZE]
    [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3]I have read hundreds of advertisements for Cavaliers the last few weeks & not seen one that has anything more than Heart Tested parents, the majority donít test even for that & non have had parents MRI tested for more sinister things, if itís the same in your country I can see that you felt like taking a chance if the puppy & the establishment looked ok.[/SIZE][/FONT]
    [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT][/SIZE]
    [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3]I wish you luck with Puck & hope you will post a photo & keep us updated.[/SIZE][/FONT]
    [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT][/SIZE]
    [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]M [/FONT][/SIZE]

  9. #9
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    Thank you everyone for having expressed your opinions in a polite and respectable manner. I understand that many people must be shaking their heads and having to refrain from truly saying what they feel so I appreciate that those who commented delivered their message in a civil manner.

    Whilst I agree that this was a bad call, it was an 'informed' bad call if I may say so. We did not commit to the breed, we did the breed a disservice at that moment. However, I insist that you understand that we did commit to Puck. This was not a spur of the moment decision, acquiring a puppy I mean. I had done months of research, looking into various breeds etc. trying to find a puppy that my family would fit and vice-versa.

    I politely (and with absolutely no intention of offending) reject the following statement:
    "I do feel sorry for your puppy, as you yourself say, it was a selfish decision and it has not given him the best chance of avoiding health issues."

    I am sorry but that I do not accept. Puck was already born. If he has health issues, he'd have had them whether we took him home or not. If something I did would directly give him syringomyelia or other, I would accept. However, that is not the case. Though we cannot prevent him from facing health problems now that he has born, we can be there with him every step of the way and give him the care he needs when he does. We may not have gotten him from an MRI-scanning breeder, but we have committed ourselves to him and to his well-being. Whilst we didn't make the best choice, it was still a conscientious one in the sense that he is dependent on us and we will provide. This is a puppy that will never be abandoned at a shelter because its owners failed to inform themselves of potential problems. There was already someone else lined up to take him but we were the 'better choice'. The breeder had absolutely no problem selling her puppies.


    "Breeders who do not health test also often do not keep their breeding dogs in the best possible conditions or feed them well or give them regular veterinary treatment."

    While that may be true, it was not in this case. This was a mother-daughter breeding program. The dogs (Puck's parents) come from top of the line breeders here in the Netherlands. The dogs were family pets and the daughter takes her own dogs to her mother's every day so that they would not be alone. The dogs were in great condition and 2 of them were rescues. She showed me their EU passports and some test results she had done a while back so it was obvious that she got them medical care. She cried when we took Puck home. We've been in contact with her and she has asked that we stay in touch and send her pictures occasionally. She gave us a small puppy kit, including his blankie (so he could smell them) and his favorite toy. She told us to call her anytime, no matter the hour, if we needed any sort of advice whatsoever. She also spent a good deal of time giving us tips about raising him up. She was a member of the Cavalier club but said that there is a lot of drama there now and with the breed having so many health issues and the club still trying to sort out details, it just became too much and so she was getting out of breeding and going to enjoy her pets as purely pets. (This I have heard from already 3 breeders directly, as well as many having a written statement on their websites. Many breeders are getting out of breeding cavaliers.)

    Though my reasoning may have been selfish, I much prefer to see Puck with us than he be with some people that would toss him out if they discovered he is ill. You may not believe me, but we are a good family to our pets. I have been rescuing animals for years and know what a committment they are. In the end, what truly matters is that Puck is loved and is taken care of. No matter what happens, he'll always have a home and people who truly love him. I cannot change his past but I can give him a present and be by his side in the future.

  10. #10
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    Nela- I would hope that I am not a member of a forum that would condemn anyone for doing something that many of it's own members may have done in the past, but probably would not be so quick to admit it. You have made a decision fully aware of the possible consequences, but have committed to giving this puppy all the love and care it will need. I don't feel that it is my place to do anything but welcome you to share your experiences and learn from the experiences of others on this forum.

    I really hope that your puppy is spared the horrors of SM or MVD in the future -do your very best by him -if you do that, you will be doing a hell of a lot more than owners of healthy dogs of all breeds who neglect, abuse and abandon dogs to our overcrowded pounds across the world.

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