I now have a puppy. Before you rejoice however, let me tell you that despite having wanted to buy from an awesome breeder with all bells and whistles, that was not the case. I know, I know. Trust me, I know. I don't want to get into the details because it angers and saddens me myself. Anyway, I made a 'selfish' decision when I was faced with 'It's this puppy or no puppy' and that is how I ended up with my puppy.

I have had him only for a couple of days now and felt too ashamed to tell you. Really, I figured I just wouldn't show my face here again but then I realized that I will really need the help and support because I do expect that I will be faced with heartbreak down the line. Basically, that's the only reason why I am pushing myself to post here right now.

Whilst it's really difficult to explain and comprehend the situation, the puppy will always get the care he needs. It's really odd for me to say this, but it's not about money even though it actually is. Basically, my boyfriend has no financial objections with treating a sick dog, but he had a problem with paying so much for a dog that couldn't be guaranteed to be free of the illnesses. In his mind, this breed meant health problems down the line one way or another. *Shrugs* I know it'll set many of you guys off. It did set me off as well. However, you don't know my boyfriend and he is a good man so please don't accuse him of being a terrible person. He just had a very different perception and I wasn't able to convince him otherwise.

Like I said, in the end, my own decision came down to having a puppy or not having one and I made a selfish decision at that point for my own personal reasons.

I have a little boy now. I named him 'Puck'. It's not an adorable name, but it's got a lot of significance to me.

Anyway, I am sorry for having done the breed such a disservice. It really was not what I had expected. I hope I can be allowed to stay for Puck's sake. Despite what has happened, we do love him enormously and we have every intention of giving him as good a life as we can while we have him. I had so looked forward to joining you guys as a cavalier owner but now I am so ashamed that I am scared to enjoy it despite feeling blessed to have this lil guy in my life. I'm quite conflicted really. *Sigh* This should have been a much happier post...