I know I posted a couple of weeks ago regarding Charlie's MRI at Stone Lion. Please don't feel you have to comment and wish us luck when you have already done so but only posting as i'm feeling nervous and worried about it all really and I know here that many will understand my fears!
My friends and family don't quite understaand why I am feeling the way I am!
But I have been thinking about the outcome and best and worst scenarios, at best he has remained the same but that still causes him pain and problems anyway and at worst he has developed SM.
Thinking in to the future, I can't help that feel that whatever happens it will be his heart that will give up first as he has a serious condition there and his heart will only last so long BUT at the same time he has ended up in a worse condition that Ruby and even though I hate myself for saying it but where I have been so focused on her SM for so long it feels like it isn't such a big deal the second time round but it is. Only as I know what i'm dealing with this time and I'm not in the dark as I was 2.5 years ago.
But going back two and a half years to when Ruby was diagnosed I thought i'd be lucky to get her to 5 (I was in a state of panic then) and now I'm facing her 5th birthday next month and dealing with the fact that I may have her longer than Charlie even as his heart is so bad, and as horrific as this condition is, Ruby does cope and live very well with it, for now.......
I'm really rambling and don't even know what i'm rambling about, maybe it doesn't matter what the result is, he will still live the same life he was destined to live as I won't stop him doing anything he does now. My mum asked why i'm bothering but i want to know either way. I feel he should be on pain releif now as well as the Cimetidine.
Oh I dont know..........