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Thread: Advice on Abbey from my fellow SM owners

  1. #1
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    Default Advice on Abbey from my fellow SM owners

    oh guys. What a road I've been on for the past 3 years with Abbey. I've tried discussing thiois with hubby but I get nowhere--I don't think he stand the pain--like I can??? Abbey is my precious angel and you all know that. I don't know if I'm in denial. I'm seriously thinking the time has come to put her down and I can't believe I am saying that. She falls all the time and i wetting in the house all the time because it's so hard for her to go out which isn't her at all. These are the main reasons. I've never had to put a dog down before. Thank god they have gone on their own. I truly don't know what to do anymore. I truly don't think she's in pain. If this was you dog what would you be asking yourself before you made the decision. This hurts so dang much.

    Linda
    Linda, Georgia, USA
    Winston--shih tzu-male, Darby female tri, Bentley male blenheim and Chelsea, black-tan
    Abbey my beloved tri who is so embedded in my heart--RIP Sweet Princess

  2. #2
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    Hi Linda,
    I understand what you're going through right now.
    The only advice I can give,is to consult with your vets.If you've reached the point where nothing medically can be done to improve her quality of life,and taking into account the prognosis in the long term for her,it may be better to say goodbye to her.
    I know how awful it is to watch a dog deteriorate to the point where the bad days outweigh the good and sometimes it's just hope keeps us going.
    What we need to do is to get a true picture of what's happening with her,not what we want it to be,or what we think it is.
    Some questions I ask myself at the moment..
    is it fixable?
    If it's not, can she live as she is?
    If it's not fixable and the outlook is poor,then I think,a release from pain and suffering is justified.
    But we need to be in possession of all the medical facts to make an informed decision,one with which we can live with.
    Sins

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    How is her appetite? Does she wag when she sees you?
    Rod Russell

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    Hi Sins. I know you know how I feel. I took her right after Thanksgiving to neuro and she said we're doing all that she would recommend but she did up her prilosec to a full tablet and doubled her prednisone and hoping the double prednisone will help her weakness. We just started it though because of her ulcerated eye as vet said it would delay recovery with the eye. She also said I would come to the point of putting he down. In regards to bad days vs good days I truly don't believe she's in pain. If I thoughtin she was the decision would be made. I do think she can live as she is Sins. I guess in regards to going outside we need to help her more as the stairs are hard. You gave me good advice and I'm taking her to her regular vet this week and will talk to him and she goes to her neuro again in about a month. Its so hard to see how far she has changed this last year. I hate this disease with a passion.

    Hugs Sins.
    Linda, Georgia, USA
    Winston--shih tzu-male, Darby female tri, Bentley male blenheim and Chelsea, black-tan
    Abbey my beloved tri who is so embedded in my heart--RIP Sweet Princess

  5. #5
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    She eats well Rod. The prednisone makes her hungry. She used to go sometimes a couple days without eating but not since the prednisone. She loves us and wags her tail when we come home She also sometimes comes up to me to sit on my lap and she loves our nightime ritual at bedtime when I rub her butt. I appreciate your responses as it helps so much. I really don't think shes in pain. She has such trouble getting up and with stairs and the slippery floors.
    Linda, Georgia, USA
    Winston--shih tzu-male, Darby female tri, Bentley male blenheim and Chelsea, black-tan
    Abbey my beloved tri who is so embedded in my heart--RIP Sweet Princess

  6. #6
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    Dear Linda,

    You have been so strong and I know you love her so much.
    I read what you have written and I think you have answered your own question. What is her quality of life? Would you want to be her?

    Once I left a dog too long and her end haunted me. Since then I have always believed better a day too soon than a day too late.

    Sometimes it truly is the last and most important act of love you can give them.
    Margaret C

    Cavaliers......Faith, The Ginger Tank and Woody.
    Japanese Chins.... Dandy, Benny, Bridgette and Hana.
    Remembered with love......... Tommy Tuppence and Fonzi

  7. #7
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    I'm answering as honest as I can Margaret as you know me and our story. I don't think she has hit bottom yet but I think she's close. I do feel one day she will not be able to get up and that will be it. I do believe she is happy and if I thought for a moment she wasn't then again the answer would be made. Her quality of life---I think of her as handicapped right now and many handicapped people are happy and I truly believe she is happy. Would I want to be her--I'm numb and unable to even type. I don't know Margaret---that's where I get scared and think I'm delaying this for me but I'd never willingly do that to her. If she cried or seemed to be in pain it would be so easy. Obviously, I haven't made an appointment so I guess that means I'm not ready. I need to know from people I trust such as yourself to tell me what the signs are etc. I have trouble getting up from a chair because of my knee--does that mean I'm not happy? No it does not--it just means I'm old and the joints aren't like they used to be. I think I just answered it for myself that I don't truly feel she's at rockbottom yet but if she keeps going down then there isn't much down left.
    Linda, Georgia, USA
    Winston--shih tzu-male, Darby female tri, Bentley male blenheim and Chelsea, black-tan
    Abbey my beloved tri who is so embedded in my heart--RIP Sweet Princess

  8. #8
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    When we were deciding when to put our german shepherd to sleep (she had a progressive neurologic disorder) the vet said we would know when it's time. Well, I thought I did, and then she started going up and down the stairs on her own again so I cancelled the appointment. Within four more days though she hadn't moved for almost 24 hours, except for wagging her tail when she saw us. That was a pretty good sign. She just seemed to have that one last burst of energy before her body collapsed on her. Like Abbey, she also never seemed to show any signs of pain, so I don't think pain needs to necessarily be one of your deciding factors if it has never been an issue all along. It's never an easy decision to let them go, but for our shepherd at the time, I know it was the right decision.

    Give the prednisone a little more time to work and then reevaluate how she is. Maybe you'll see a difference, maybe not. If not, then you'll just start to feel in your heart more and more when the right time is for Abbey. And it will be heartbreaking, whenever it is even if it's years from now. Let us know how you two are getting along.
    Bev
    Oliver (blenheim, born 3/2001), Riley (black & tan, born 8/2002,), Madison (ruby, born 9/2003), and Oz (tri-color, born 7/2007)

  9. #9
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    I've been reading this thread today and know that some day I will be in the same position. I have no advice for you. I just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you and Abbey and whenever you make her time comes, your decision will be a well thought out and it will be whatever is best for Abbey. Prayers and hugs to you, Abbey and your family.
    Joyce - Proudly owned & loved by

    BellaMia (Aug. 30, 2012) My Beautiful Ruby Milo (Jan. 20, 2014) My Handsome Tri
    Sydney (
    April 16, 2000~April 4, 2012) Always and Forever In My Heart

  10. #10
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    Oh my dear Beverly I came downstairs because I woke up and thought of this site and if anybody else had answered and of all people one of the two is you that I have not seen. 3 years ago you heard my sobs on tears on the phone and helped me through such a trying time and here I am almost 3 years. This is actually the time of year I think when I started figuring things out in regards to her. For me to even be having these thoughts right now is definitely a sign that the time is coming. That tells you how bad she is and I know you truly do understand because you are the one person on this site that I talked to soooooo much by phone.

    Sydneys Mom--yes I am thinking this through and I sooooo appreciate your advice more than you know.

    My heart hurts pretty heavy right now as I truly do know we're getting close. I hear what the neuro said and Bev said it--I will know when its time and I don't right now so I guess that means in my heart its not time.

    Linda
    Linda, Georgia, USA
    Winston--shih tzu-male, Darby female tri, Bentley male blenheim and Chelsea, black-tan
    Abbey my beloved tri who is so embedded in my heart--RIP Sweet Princess

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