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Advice on Abbey from my fellow SM owners

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Sending prayers and positive thoughts that all goes well. I will be thinking of you and Abbey during this difficult time.
 
Home from vet. Jeff my vet agrees with me and said no quality of life. Now to make my husband come to grips with this. My eyes are swollen from the tears. My heart aches. I so hate this syringomyelia with a passion.
 
My Dear Friend,

I am so sorry. I am crying with you.

This is so hard for you both but I know you and your husband will put Abbey's needs first, just as you have always done.

My thoughts are with you tonight.
 
This is the last loving thing you can do for Abbey, but it never becomes any easier, however many times you do it, and however right and loving it feels. We all grieve for our dogs, but we are the people we are today in part because of our relationship with them, so Abbey will always be part of you.

Love from Kate, Oliver and Aled :hug:
 
I'm so sorry. You are at a place that requires love and courage. There's some good support and shared experience in the thread that should help as many others have been in this place and know the conflicting emotions.

One of the great kindnesses we can show a much loved dog is the kindness of relieving a terrible burden of illness and pain by letting them go gently before the pain and disability defines their lives and the majority of their hours are pain-filled. Often the hardest thing to do is to recognise when we are asking them to struggle on for us -- not because they have any quality of life or would want further hours and days of pain. When the timeline is limited, I think real love is letting them go when it is clear time is short but they are not tipping into deep suffering. We can, as their best friends, at least spare them that.
 
Dear Linda
It is just so heartbreaking reading this thread, I am so truly sorry that this is happening and my thoughts are with you all.
Andrea xx
 
Oh Linda, I'm so sorry. I'm also in tears here and know what you're going through, life seems so cruel sometimes. I am thinking of you and Abbey.xxx
 
Oh Linda, am thinking of you. This is something all of us with our SM dogs will be facing at sometime. Sending hugs across the sea:hug:
 
I am crying reading this. My heart truly aches for you and my thoughts are with you and your husband. Sending lots of
:hug:
 
Karlin said it right on the nose and beautifully. I'm on such a roller coaster and have conflicting emotions right now. One minute I'm posting that yes this is it and then 2 minutes later I'm rethinking it. Through alot of tears hubby and I talked alot last night. I asked him the question if he would want to live if he were Abbey and all he could do was cry and as I type that I cry also. He feels we need to give her a couple weeks for the increase in prednisone and omeprazole to see if there is any change. I don't think a couple weeks will make any difference and I'm not sure if I want to spend the rest of my time off (I work for a college and its holiday break) laying in bed sobbing my heart out. Maybe I'm still in denial and not ready yet either as I look at her and then tell myself that when its something important she sure doesn't have any trouble getting around--if there is food being cooked or a ride in the car or treat time then its a whole different ballgame. Sometimes I look in her eyes and I see a dog that is tired of this disease. I am just so dang confused right now and I can't put her down in this confusion. Crying again. I guess one day it will all click and that will be it and I truly do believe it won't be long.

Linda
 
Today I went in Abbeys blog to update it and hadn't been in there for ages. I looked at the picture of the dog at the top of the page and lost it. I truly don't remember Abbey with that vigor and spunk. It was the eye opener that I needed. After that I went upstairs and called George and of course lost it. I told him I was making the appt. He is trying to tell me this is from upping her prednisone. I kept telling him do you thnk this isru something I have just come up with. I towld him he's in denial which he is and he turns my head around at times. He thoen went on to tell me she's his dog too and to please give no prednisone in the a.m. I refused. Without one prednisone she will be miserable. So now he's agreed to the one prednisone in the a.m. He's hanging on for a miracle and for the Abbey that used to be. He said we will decide tonight. I'm almost at peace now as I know we're doing the right thing for her. Please pray that my hubby comes to grips with this tonight as now it's so hard for me to see her like she really is.
 
I'm so sorry, I know it's terribly hard and it's even worse when it's not just your decision. I think others would agree that sometimes men don't want to see what is happening, and you have to commit extra emotional energy in trying to persuade them to see the real picture.

it's helpful that you were able to look at your blog and see the huge difference - I think perhaps that has made up your mind for you?

Jeff my vet agrees with me and said no quality of life.

Keep this in mind too - would your vet speak to your husband if he still isn't sure?


We'd all love a miracle - and we are all wishing for one for you.

I think once you have made the decision you will feel at peace - and I've found that once I have made the 'phone call and arranged for my vet to come out, my dogs have seemed to be at peace too. If it would help, it might be worth asking if your vet will come to your house?


Keeping you in our hearts
 
Oh Linda, you can tell that George is at his wit's end too. In one post you say that George wants to give it a few more weeks to give the increased prednisone a chance to work and then in the next post, it seems like he's blaming the increased prednisone on Abbey's deterioration. He is hurting too and doesn't want to make the decision any more than you do. Has he looked at the blog picture? Maybe that would help him too. You do want to be on the same page so that there are no lingering feelings of resentment or feelings that one of you pushed the other into the decision. Nicki's suggestion about having the vet talk to George is probably a good one if he is still unsure or irrational about it.

I truly don't think there is a miracle about to happen here. Like I told you in my e-mail, if the increased prednisone was going to make a difference, it probably would have already. With all of my dogs it seems to work really quickly, usually within a day or two. I guess every dog is different, but that's been my experience. This is just heartbreaking.
 
it's helpful that you were able to look at your blog and see the huge difference - I think perhaps that has made up your mind for you?

yes Nikki. The picture is what I needed to see that the real Abbey is gone and my heart hurts so dang much. I have 4 dogs and she's my favorite--always has been. She has been through so much in her lifetime and didn't deserve this awful disease and she's only a lousy 7 years old. Sheha has always had such a will to live and I truly know now tha it she just wants to rest. She was so dang good for 2 years after her surgery and has slowly been declining this past year. I'm such a mess right now. Yes my vet yesterday said he would talk to George if need be and I don' think it will be necessary. When he sees the picture it will hit him like a ton of bricks like it did me. Vets don't really come to the house anymore and my vet is old-school. When I ask him if he's working on monday and monda is probably a holiday he will probably tell me yes. Just the way he is.

Oh my dear lord I hope they find a cure for this disease or breeders figure it out as it hurts worse than cancer. At least with cancer it doesn't go on for years and years. Abbey did not deserve this and I truly am so thankful for the joy she has given me and I know in time the pain will get less and the joy of her wil remain.

Linda
 
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