Only just catching up with CT today, but wanted to send you some hugs. My Meg was in congestive heart failure for nearly 9 months. She enjoyed (a somewhat restricted) life, so there was no question of hastening her demise, but 3 or 4 times a week she would wake me in the early hours of the morning gasping for breath, and I would get up, give her a pill and then sit on the floor cuddling her until her breathing settled and she went back to sleep. I think I did most of my grieving for her then, crying as I cuddled her. The next morning she would enjoy her breakfast and potter out into the garden as if nothing had happened. It's tough, but if you love them you just do it. Eventually the morning came when she could no longer drop her head at all, even to drink out of her raised water bowl, and her eyes said quite clearly - 'Mum, this is the end of the road, help me on my way' - and for that too, if you love them you just do it.
So hang in there with Sydney
Kate, Oliver and Aled