As much as Harry struggled with his MVD and had a few bad days over the course of about 3 years, his continuous ability to fight back and become like a new dog every time left me somehow thinking he was invincible. Now my fingers are trembling as I click "post new thread" "in memorium".

I lost Harry suddenly yesterday evening in my bedroom. He had had a funny tummy since Tuesday but otherwise seemed happy, nothing like how he had seemed when he had been poorly before and I feared for his life a good number of times before, but not this time. I gave him a little bath on Tuesday night and he seemed fine, I was concerned as he chose to lay down in the bath instead of sit but didn't think too deeply into it. Usually I could tell by his eyes when he felt ill, he still had that sparkle though.

Yesterday morning, he was a little sick. I blamed myself, I gave his tablets in some cheese, maybe it didn't agree with him. I got called into work and dad looked after him. I walked in about 6pm and he was lying in the doorway, he saw me and was wagging his tail. I let him into the garden. I noticed he had been out there some time so I went to look for him. He was sat on the path and had probably just been sat staring for a good 10 minutes. I went back in the house and grabbed a towel to keep him warm and I wrapped it around him and sat next to him. Then his front legs slowly slipped out infront of him and he lay down. I was seriously worried. So I carried him upstairs to my bedroom, lay him on his blanket and put some twinkly lights on for him. I don't know why, I felt I knew, I wanted him to relax.

I jumped in my car and sped to the shop to get him some fresh chicken. Again, I don't know why other than I just wanted him to have his favourite dinner that night. I chopped it up and came upstairs to my bedroom where he was lying. He ate the chicken and I stopped worrying, when he's poorly he won't eat and he did. I was so pleased. I put the plate down and he sat up. Then he fell. I should have caught him but I was in shock, I didn't have time although it seemed time had stood still. His back legs went up at an angle really stiff. I held them. I put my hand on his heart and with a quiet whimper he had gone. I couldn't feel his heart anymore. I cried for my dad. My family came round and I cried all night. I woke up and for a split second I thought I had dreamt it.

I got Harry when I was about 10 after I begged my mum and dad for years. Finally we went to get them. Out of all the puppies bounding around, little Harry came and curled up in my lap, he chose me. I took him home on the happiest day of my life. He has made each day the happiest until now, I am 21. For the first time since I can ever remember, I have to face the world without him. He was my soulmate, my best friend, my brother, my baby and sometimes even like a father. I lost my job in September to go back to college part time. We have been together nearly everyday 24/7.

Everytime I hear a bump I think he's coming up the stairs into my room, everytime I hear the door open I think it's dad letting him into the garden. I want to hold my hand out and feel his ears there, I want to feel the nudge of his little head if I stopped stroking him.

Thankyou so much for your support and sorry this was long. I cant believe it. I feel like I can't go on, life is so empty without him. I feel like I will never smile again.

Rest in peace my beautiful little companion. I love you more than anything in the world. One day I will see you again.